Your resident Flutterpie shipper. Someday I'll write them, hopefully
This story is a sequel to The Bite of XX
Tagged as Profanity for one instance of ‘bucking’ as a term of emphasis
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A few hours after Pupa attacked her, Starlight starts noticing weird changes within her body. She has weird growths on her hooves, her colours are duller, and she has a lack of pupils. As she discovers these changes she tries to think about what exactly is causing them. Could it possibly be from Pupa’s bite?
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A little better than the last one, but I do see some things that could still be improved upon.
11870358
Yeah, sometimes my writing gets a little stream of conscious-y which is something I need to work on
11870376
Well the first step to improving is acknowledgement, so you're already doing really good.
11870395
It’s just kinda hard for me because I like to get into the character’s thoughts and feelings a lot.
11870405
That's a good thing. I do it as well. Here's a bit of advice: write it all down as you normally would, then go back and tweak it.
Fix any spelling mistakes you find, change how things are worded, make sure it's up to your standards while also being easy to read for others. If you need to, you can ask friends or family for their input. They might be biased at first, but if you ask them to be critical and give honest opinions, I'm sure they'd be more than happy to.