A Dance Between the Sun and the Voice in Her Head

by MistOverMoon

Chapter Fifteen - Kindle the Spark

Each of Celestia's steps on the castle's stone halls echoed with an air of finality. She approached the vault. Its double doors stood like guardians to an ancient tomb.

Celestia unlocked the door, revealing the main vault. Gold and treasures filled this room. At the center of it was a box filled with the elements of harmony. She had been here before many times. The shine of gold nearly blinded her as she walked towards the box.

Carefully, she opened it to reveal the elements of harmony.

"Am I making the right choice?" Celestia asked the stones that were once so familiar. "Do I face what lies in the vault?"

The elements held no answers.

She walked past the elements. She walked past the gold, the artifacts, the paintings. Then she stood before it- the inner vault. The horn key had not been unlocked in forever. She wasn't even sure if it would work anymore. The things inside had been buried for a reason after all.

Was there even a point to unlocking the past? Celestia stood before the double doors to the inner vault, her hooves were firmly stuck in place.

She could go on without knowing. The things the ritual had told her, they were horrifying. The amulet she had was a container for a third alicorn who's intentions were unknown. The dark power that emanated from it was enough to tell her that they couldn't be good. What if this was all a part of his plan? Whatever that plan happened to be.

Her life would continue on, alone, dealing with the same work every day, never seeing her sister. Her failures would always weight on her shoulders as the weight of her crown did on her head. That was not what she wanted. She would NOT live like that. It wasn't even living anymore, it was existing.

"Getting cold hooves?" Void asked.

"You stopped me from entering here before, why was that?" Celestia thought back to when she was going to fetch her weapon and armor to deal with Nightmare Moon.

"I didn't stop you. You stopped yourself." Void said.

It was true. Even now the thought of unlocking the vault was enough to make her want to run the other way.

With a deep breath Celestia calmed herself. She looked at the door to the inner vault. It was time to face what lay within.

With rigid grace and reluctance Celestia lowered her horn towards the horn key. Then, she locked it into place. Magic flowed through her horn. For a moment nothing seemed to happen. Then, she heard the snap and release of the doors to the inner vault.

She pulled back. The doors creaked open like an old coffin lid. Inside it was as pitch black as a tomb. The light from the room seemed to shy away from it.

Celestia lit her horn and walked into the dark room. As she walked, ancient magic from when the castle was built began to ignite. Lights flickered all over the room. Small orbs of light came into existence, they were trapped like fiery spirits in orbs of glass that hung from chains.

As the lights came into existence, the rest of the room was revealed. Unlike the rest of the castle the stone here was grimy and worn. It was a simple box of stone. There was no gold to be found here, no treasures to look upon. The only things in the room were a simple wooden table with a book on it, a suit of golden armor, and a long spear.

The armor immediately caught her attention. It was mostly a darker orange as if from the depths of flame. Intricate swirls were carved into it. As she looked closer, she realized that they were the network of a powerful spell matrix. On the front breastplate of the armor was a golden and orange sun. The armor would cover the entirety of a pony's body in thick plates. On the flank of the armor, where a cutie mark would be, were two twin suns.

The helm of the armor was the centerpiece. Made in the mockery of a crown it was formed from gold and more orange metal. At the center of the crowned helmet was a large red gem. A gem that reminded her of the one on the Alicorn Amulet.

The armor looked like the one that the alicorn of flame wore. Why was it here? It just didn't make any sense.

Celestia eyed the armor wearily as she walked further into the room. Then her gaze turned to the book on the table. It was a massive and thick book. Its cover was brown and unremarkable, and its pages were large and yellowed. It was a forgotten piece of herself. It was book she could hardly remember; it was her old spell book.

It had no title, it never needed one. It had always been her spell book, no one was ever supposed to look at it besides her.

She could feel Void's presence in her mind, but he said nothing. It felt like he was waiting with bated breath.

Celestia gently grabbed the book with her magic and turned the first page.

The first few pages were simple spells. Spells she already knew. Her old notes were scribbled alongside them. It was strange to see something she couldn't even remember writing. The first half of the book went over these spells. Spells that anypony could aspire to cast if they wanted to. Yet, as she flipped further into the book the spells got more and more complex. More powerful, more ambitious. They turned to the spell matrix, how to improve it, how to pull as much power from it as possible. Celestia could barely understand what she was looking at anymore.

Her notes described living in a scarred world. A world filled with hate and darkness. It was cold, bitterly cold. All she had were two ponies by her side, alicorns like her. One was Luna, smaller than her, and the other an alicorn her age. Yet, as she tried to learn the other alicorn's name, her mind just wouldn't take to it. Even as she read it on the page it failed to take root.

Then she saw a drawing. A drawing of a black cloud. She described it in her notes as the prime evil of Equestria, the thing that stood in the way of harmony.

The next page was a drawing of a spell matrix. Celestia immediately recognized it from her vision. It was the inner spell matrix. It was a matrix to strengthen and reinforce. It used the knowledge ponies had of the one inside the matrix to power it, allowing the pony within to endure containing the darkness. All it needed was a vessel to contain it. A living vessel. That vessel was her.

Another page was flipped. It was of the amulet. The notes described it as a place to keep the matrix and the vessel. A place outside of the world where nopony would be able to find them and break the matrix. A place that lay between places.

Celestia felt something open in her mind. She saw herself sitting in the middle of the spell matrix, screaming. Two other alicorns looked in with worried faces, one was Luna, and the other...

Her head throbbed and she grit her teeth against the pain. Who was that alicorn? Who was he?

Celestia continued to flip through the pages. The notes got more and more deranged. They described little happening in many words or too much in too few. The thoughts grew darker, they turned not to beautiful spell work, but to escape. She had brief moments of return to the world to be gifted with gold and love, but it was never enough.

Her notes described her switching places one day with the unknowable alicorn.

Another matrix appeared in the notes. This was one the second spell matrix. It was one designed to incite memory loss and forgetfulness. It would be placed around the second circle in the amulet to... make the pony within forgotten forever. They would be erased from history and memory. The only one who would remember was the caster.

At the end of the book Celestia saw one last spell. A spell seething with dark magic that made a pony forget. A spell to erase something from their mind forever. Next to it, written in small text, was the counterspell.

Celestia stared at the counterspell. It was so simple. All it would take is one spell to restore her memory. One spell to get it all back. Why then, did she not want to know what it would tell her?

"You promised that we would be together until the end." Void's voice echoed in her mind. "I told you that before, didn't I?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Celestia felt sweat drip down her brow. Her gaze drifted over to the orange and gold armor.

"Remember me." Void whispered. "Quickly, your sister coming."

Celestia could hear hoof steps coming from behind her. She turned to see Luna approaching with Nightmare Moon at her side. Held magically in Luna's grip were the shattered pieces of the urn she had used for the spell matrix. Her gaze was full of determination and sadness all the same.

"Sister! You will tell us what this is all about THIS INSTANT!" Luna screamed as she approached with tears in her eyes, each step flung gold out of the way. "WE DEMAND YOU TELL US WHAT AILS YOU. WE WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO SUFFER ALONE AS WE DID!"

Celestia froze at the voice of Luna. She nearly turned then, spouted out all her worries and problems to her sister, released it all, apologized for everything. But that wouldn't change anything would it? The cycle would repeat over and over until it was done forevermore. Void would sink his claws into her life every time she tried to turn away. Her relationships would crumble, everything she worked for would be in ruin. There was only one way this could end.

She cast the spell.

Celestia started to scream. Countless lifetimes of memories ran through her head. A gray alicorn revealed himself. A confidant, a dear friend, a champion of harmony. Together they worked to combat the darkness. Each day they would fight for harmony in Equestria, yet with the darkness it could never exist. It was impossible to defeat, only to hold back. The shadows it cast were too long to ever escape.

Together they created a spell matrix to bind it. It only required one thing- a vessel. Celestia took it upon herself to house the darkness. It worked, and for a time harmony was allowed to exist. Yet, the darkness was too much to bear alone even with the power of the matrix. It turned her into something not quite herself, a wicked mare of sunlight. She wanted out of the matrix. The alicorn offered to switch places with her.

She spent her days enjoying the world. Gorging herself on power and tyranny. As time drew close for her to return, she found that she didn't want to go back.

The other alicorn was not as strong as she was. He turned just as tyrannical and cruel as she. He played with the lives of ponies, exerting his power. His love for her, once gentle and kind, turned into something darker. He demanded that she come to him. Seeing this, she came up with a plan.

A second spell matrix would be crafted to limit the power of the first. The first spell matrix relied on knowing, it granted power as long as a pony knew of their existence. The second matrix would make them become forgotten forever. She put the two spells into an amulet to contain them, so they would be forgotten forever. Then, she told the alicorn she was ready to accept him.

When the alicorn came to her she locked him away into the amulet. Sealing both spells, old and new, in a separate dimension forever. A place between places.

Time passed and she realized what she had done. Her guilt grew too much to bear. She made herself forget all about the event forever. Yet, once in a while a voice would whisper to her. She would come back to her book and armor she once wore and remember who she used to be. Then, the alicorn would make a chip in the outer matrix. The cycle repeated on and on and forevermore as she made herself forget.

That alicorn's name was Gaiya, alicorn of the earth, and Celestia remembered him.

"Yes! YES! Another chip in the matrix, the last chip, the final chip!" Gaiya's voice echoed through her mind, giddy and excited. "You can't forget me anymore! No, NO, NO, never again, NEVER again! I am going to be free, free and by your side!"

Celestia reeled back from the book. How could she have done that? To lock a pony away in the dark forever. To erase them from the annals of history forever. That wasn't something she would do, was it? Even if they were a tyrant.

It was, wasn't it? She had done the exact same thing to Luna. Deep down, past the blinding sunlight, past the kindness and gentle facade, she was nothing more than a monster. She was not a nurturing sun- she was a ball of roiling flame. A thing that burned everything it touched. A thing that needed to be kept alone, floating in space far away from anything else.

"Sister! We demand that you explain yourself!" Luna shook her. "Sister!? Do you even hear us?"

Her sunlight hid nothing more than a shadowed core.

"Get away from me Luna." Celestia pushed her sister away. Something was boiling in her chest. Something that was fueled by centuries of playing the same game. Fueled by centuries of wasting away behind her facade.

"We will not!" You will get over your obsession with Nightmare Moon and stop this madness! We are not her anymore- tell us what we can do to help you! And this! is not you-" Luna pointed to the shards of urn she had. "A spell matrix of blood? A cursed amulet? You are Equestria's princess of the sun and my sister, this is not you!""

"Not me?" Celestia whispered. "What do you know about me?"

"We are thy sister. We know you-"

"You know nothing about me." Celestia growled and gave Luna a glare that could cut glass. "Nopony knows anything about me."

"Sister, you are thy beloved princess. Everypony knows about-"

"No, they don't." Celestia snapped. "Nopony knows anything about me. Nopony knows what it's like being me. Nopony cares what their princess of the sun is like as long as she shines bright, don't they?"

"Tia, you have all the love of the ponies, what else could thou possibly want from them?" Luna grabbed her wing. "Please, think clearly, speak to us the truth. We need each other, we cannot handle this alone."

"I don't need them; I don't need you." Celestia's breath quickened, and her eyes dilated. "I can handle this. I can fix this. I am the protector of Equestria, I can handle anything."

"Nay, you cannot handle this alone!" Luna said. "Look at thyself, you are falling apart and yet still you will not open thy heart to us."

"I can handle this." Celestia felt something building in her chest, a power forgotten, a power buried deep within herself. It yearned to be free, to lash out. It sung to her. It had always been there, everything she had been holding back. Everything that she hid all these years. "I can handle this! I can handle anything!"

"Tia, cease thy-"

"I don't need you, dear sister." Celestia sneered and tore her crown off. It clattered onto the stone before coming to roll along its side on the ground. "You wanted the love and affection of little ponies? Take it, I don't care anymore."

"That is not what we desire sister! We need each other to rule. We have seen what our absence has done to you!"

Celestia could feel the well of energy deep within her begging to be released. It seethed, boiled, and burned like a lake of magma. It was something she always knew was there- something she always kept locked away. It was something she swore to never let the world see. Now though, it was too hard to keep inside any longer.

"I was doing just fine. I didn't need you. Well then, take all their love, I don't want them, I don't need them." Celestia yelled. "In fact, dear sister, "I DONT NEED ANYPONY!"

The last thread of the masquerade was torn away, and then nothing was the same anymore.

The energy inside of her swelled in her chest and it began to glow with the intensity of the sun. All the breath was ripped from Celestia's lungs in an instant and replaced by sheer heat. Solar winds began to blow in the room, swirling around her in a maelstrom of gathering flame. Her throat felt like it was being strangled as she was lifted into the air by an unseen hoof. Choking on her own spittle and rage, Celestia levitated in the air. It felt like she was being hollowed out from the inside by a burrowing, scorching blaze.

"Sister?! No! No, this is not happening to us!" Luna's voice came through the storm. "Nightmare Moon, we have to stop this!"

"What are we-" Nightmare Moon's voice faded away to Celestia's ears.

Flame coalesced around her and wrapped her in its embrace. She could feel herself rise higher, higher, and higher. The armor in the room was pulled into the vortex as it started to seal itself to her coat, half melting into place. For a moment she was the sun, beautiful as it was terrible. Untamed power coursed through even vein in her body. In her mind she saw that wicked mare of flame once again. The burning yellow draconic eyes met her own and a sinister smile graced her face. In that mare Celestia saw herself.

And then Celestia was no more than embers, and from the ashes was reborn a new mare. A mare known as Daybreaker.

Daybreaker released the energy inside her with a scream of fury. A wave of heat blasted outward with the intensity of the sun. Stone was scorched black then began to melt. Gold was turned molten, priceless paintings turned to cinder. Banners of the sun burned to ash.

Through the haze of heat Daybreaker could see Luna and Nightmare Moon holding up a barrier. Around them everything turned molten from the intensity. Everything was cracked and glowing as if magma was bubbling up from beneath to earth to take its wrathful due.

In Luna's eyes she could see something she never thought she would see. Something that struck her even through her fiery core. Fear. Raw, primal fear.

Daybreaker gasped and withdrew the power of her solar flare. Smoke filled the air. It was choking as the feeling in her chest.

"...How is that for a friendship lesson?"

Daybreaker grabbed the Alicorn Amulet and lifted it towards her. Then without another word she flew out of the smoking half molten hole her transformation had carved into the wall of the palace.

She flew away on white wings trailed by flame. Daybreaker didn't know where she was going, but it had to be anywhere but here.

Comments

[Salkitsune]

This makes me question how strong Gaiya is, he has the darkness, which makes him even stronger, and from the dialogue he seems well controlled, I think thousands of years "alone" helped him a little.