11810093 nah can't dis that version of Luna she tried but I guess the other Celestia just has more power over things....might just lead up to a nightmare moon event, might be fun to have dusk come back to that
i wonder if the elements in dusks world accended him for a reason and since he was banished his world might be about to have problems. or perhaps dusk is the elements of his worlds lifeboat to escape that worlds alicorns
11810093 As I stated in the A/N, Dusk's version of his world is a much darker place that Twilight's Equestria. I did toy with the notion of his world being destroyed initially, but decided to just not worry about it, thus providing Dusk's depression in further chapters.
11810116 11810235 Oh, I certainly have many more chapters to go. This tale isn't finished yet by a long shot! Thnx for reading my second tale here on this site
11810152 I did do a side chapter about Goddess Selene *somewhere*. I can tell you that she is nothing like Luna, as Luna is rather like a virgin princess, while Selene is a very "playful" type of goddess, playful meaning a lot of lovers. However, her sister merely tolerates Selene's antics, thus no "Nightmare" event has occurred, nor will. Solaria's thoughts about her younger sister are that Selene's activities is an escape for the moon goddess, and therefore keeping her sister "entertained".
11810206 Dusk never knew about the elements, nor did he care about them. His world's version of the tree of Harmony is quite hidden, so he never knew of that, either. His ascension was merely from the completion of some random spell.
Glad that you all have been enjoying these first few chapters! I'm already working on my next few chapters and will publish them as I complete them.
11810362 just because dusk did not know about the elements does not mean he was not being moved by them. i mean didnt cadence have the crystal heart on her cutiemark without knowing about it? I dont think dusk should have to know the elements had a plan for him and neither do we but it is a interesting question to ask.you probs already have an idea of the why and how but for all we know dusk could have supposed to be someone needed in his equestria. I am slightly curious about why the tree is hidden in dusks equestria as that could imply that the sisters might not be as in line with it as they think if it is hidden
11810373 You have a fairly good idea there, about Dusk being motivated remotely by the Tree, Even in Twilight's Equestria, the Tree did move things in its way, regardless of events. That Dusk had no idea concerning the Tree, is something that I feel does have importance, yet not enough to warrant explanation. Just random background noise as I see it. Much of Dusk's own background will be spoken of, but only in parts as the story progresses, often to reveal his motives. You might reread the Prologue to get a glimpse of his past, and his thought processes presently. Like I said, he is a very darker version of Twilight, and one who never had her opportunities as he grew up.
The sisters, now. Why did I call them goddesses? Like Greek gods and goddesses, they are present, but remote and hidden. They remain in their castle while ruling the land and ponies but are never seen by the general population. I actually have not developed them beyond anything else but as motivation for Dusk to be thrown out of his world.
Very fun story so far, from the sound of this story the Lunar rebellion never happened Celestia and Luna had ruled for the past millennia uninterrupted, and Dusk was just some librarian mage and never was tutored by Celestia. I do like that Dusk has baggage from where he came from and isn't looking to create his own harem. The writing is a little too exposition bump-y at the moments, neglecting introducing Twilight as a proper character, but still good, and I think it will keep on improving. I wonder how Dusk personality is similar to Twilight and how much more distinctive/different then she is, from the sound of it he seems pretty humble like her and is a scholar at heart despite sounding more pessimistic, but I take it we will discover more about him soon enough. Looking forward to seeing more of this story, keep it up dude.
11811275 Thank you for your thoughts. Let me just say that I am no writer, but rather a pianist and composer with a fondness for these pony characters. For me, it is easier to compose a string quartet than truly write prose. That said, I am making the effort to tell some story ideas that I have with these characters whenever I find the time. I am retired from any public performances, so I have time now to do some writing of my tales that I have thought of. A lot of Dusk will be taken from my own experiences. Like Dusk, I grew up in a ghetto, so let us be honest: I know how that is. While I left that far behind. I still have that with me. "You can take me out of Compton, but you cannot take Compton out of me". Oh, I'm no Dr. Dre, nor would I ever want that. Besides, I'm white... That is Dusk's dark side and is often his motivational reasons for what he does. Chapter three is where things get interesting...
11811338 Nice dude, and if you are interested in hearing it, especially sense you are a musician, you could do what I do in writing or just reading fanfics, you use a text to speech program like balabolka (yes it's totally free) and use it to proofread yourself in determining how well the writing flows or hear how it sounds to your readers. It has massively helped my a lot in learning on how to properly write in English, or just writing in general, to a level that I didn't though possible before. I used it constantly to copy and paste fanfic text and listen to it while I do art, which helps to keep me focus, essentially sense I can't even stand listening to the same music in loops four hours on end anymore, so it's a good substitute. And with you being a musician I think you might just apricate it more, being more attuned with your ears and all.
Also if you want to see some of my work or my work in progress you can go to my DeviantArt Gallery here or my Youtube channel. Here is a video, featuring Dusk Shine, enjoy
I just hope that Dusk's f***ed-up world burns as karma.
Sure, he may never come back. But at least he doesn't give a shit, if it's destroyed.
Seriously, totally f**k those guards and those two stallion-hating evil whore "princesses".
Hope this more chapters coming
Enjoying this portrayal of Dusk, looking forward to more chapters soon.
11810093
nah can't dis that version of Luna she tried but I guess the other Celestia just has more power over things....might just lead up to a nightmare moon event, might be fun to have dusk come back to that
i wonder if the elements in dusks world accended him for a reason and since he was banished his world might be about to have problems. or perhaps dusk is the elements of his worlds lifeboat to escape that worlds alicorns
This is so interesting! Can't wait for more!
11810093
As I stated in the A/N, Dusk's version of his world is a much darker place that Twilight's Equestria. I did toy with the notion of his world being destroyed initially, but decided to just not worry about it, thus providing Dusk's depression in further chapters.
11810116
11810235
Oh, I certainly have many more chapters to go. This tale isn't finished yet by a long shot! Thnx for reading my second tale here on this site
11810152
I did do a side chapter about Goddess Selene *somewhere*. I can tell you that she is nothing like Luna, as Luna is rather like a virgin princess, while Selene is a very "playful" type of goddess, playful meaning a lot of lovers. However, her sister merely tolerates Selene's antics, thus no "Nightmare" event has occurred, nor will. Solaria's thoughts about her younger sister are that Selene's activities is an escape for the moon goddess, and therefore keeping her sister "entertained".
11810206
Dusk never knew about the elements, nor did he care about them. His world's version of the tree of Harmony is quite hidden, so he never knew of that, either. His ascension was merely from the completion of some random spell.
Glad that you all have been enjoying these first few chapters! I'm already working on my next few chapters and will publish them as I complete them.
11810362
just because dusk did not know about the elements does not mean he was not being moved by them. i mean didnt cadence have the crystal heart on her cutiemark without knowing about it? I dont think dusk should have to know the elements had a plan for him and neither do we but it is a interesting question to ask.you probs already have an idea of the why and how but for all we know dusk could have supposed to be someone needed in his equestria. I am slightly curious about why the tree is hidden in dusks equestria as that could imply that the sisters might not be as in line with it as they think if it is hidden
11810373
You have a fairly good idea there, about Dusk being motivated remotely by the Tree, Even in Twilight's Equestria, the Tree did move things in its way, regardless of events. That Dusk had no idea concerning the Tree, is something that I feel does have importance, yet not enough to warrant explanation. Just random background noise as I see it. Much of Dusk's own background will be spoken of, but only in parts as the story progresses, often to reveal his motives. You might reread the Prologue to get a glimpse of his past, and his thought processes presently. Like I said, he is a very darker version of Twilight, and one who never had her opportunities as he grew up.
The sisters, now. Why did I call them goddesses? Like Greek gods and goddesses, they are present, but remote and hidden. They remain in their castle while ruling the land and ponies but are never seen by the general population. I actually have not developed them beyond anything else but as motivation for Dusk to be thrown out of his world.
Thanks for the comment. I do appreciate.
11810362
Just as long as his "original" dark world doesn't exist indefinitely.
Very fun story so far, from the sound of this story the Lunar rebellion never happened Celestia and Luna had ruled for the past millennia uninterrupted, and Dusk was just some librarian mage and never was tutored by Celestia. I do like that Dusk has baggage from where he came from and isn't looking to create his own harem. The writing is a little too exposition bump-y at the moments, neglecting introducing Twilight as a proper character, but still good, and I think it will keep on improving. I wonder how Dusk personality is similar to Twilight and how much more distinctive/different then she is, from the sound of it he seems pretty humble like her and is a scholar at heart despite sounding more pessimistic, but I take it we will discover more about him soon enough. Looking forward to seeing more of this story, keep it up dude.
11811275
Thank you for your thoughts.
Let me just say that I am no writer, but rather a pianist and composer with a fondness for these pony characters. For me, it is easier to compose a string quartet than truly write prose. That said, I am making the effort to tell some story ideas that I have with these characters whenever I find the time. I am retired from any public performances, so I have time now to do some writing of my tales that I have thought of.
A lot of Dusk will be taken from my own experiences. Like Dusk, I grew up in a ghetto, so let us be honest: I know how that is. While I left that far behind. I still have that with me. "You can take me out of Compton, but you cannot take Compton out of me". Oh, I'm no Dr. Dre, nor would I ever want that. Besides, I'm white...
That is Dusk's dark side and is often his motivational reasons for what he does. Chapter three is where things get interesting...
11811338
Nice dude, and if you are interested in hearing it, especially sense you are a musician, you could do what I do in writing or just reading fanfics, you use a text to speech program like balabolka (yes it's totally free) and use it to proofread yourself in determining how well the writing flows or hear how it sounds to your readers. It has massively helped my a lot in learning on how to properly write in English, or just writing in general, to a level that I didn't though possible before. I used it constantly to copy and paste fanfic text and listen to it while I do art, which helps to keep me focus, essentially sense I can't even stand listening to the same music in loops four hours on end anymore, so it's a good substitute. And with you being a musician I think you might just apricate it more, being more attuned with your ears and all.
Also if you want to see some of my work or my work in progress you can go to my DeviantArt Gallery here or my Youtube channel. Here is a video, featuring Dusk Shine, enjoy
Ultimate pickup line.