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NorrisThePony


Horseword maintenance and installation specialist. Mareschizo extraordinaire.

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Following King Sombra's defeat, a crystal pony contemplates her newfound freedom.


This story was written for the Thousand Words Story Contest . It did not place. This story has dramatic readings by StraightToThePointStudio, Pony&Wolf Productions, and TheQuinch. Thank you to all.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

It doesn’t have to be revolutionary. Neither does Lily. The prose can be as heavy as the chains she bore, and as long as you show that she can leave the past that constrains her, then that is message enough. To tyrants, and to us.

Thank you for writing this. It’s an aspect from the return of the Crystal Empire and its ponies that I’m glad to see brought to light.

This is a good fiction... I love it.

Freedom is scary

This is a lovely story, seeing the PTSD angle I assumed that'd be it, but Lily's contemplation on Cadence's reign was a very unexpected (well, at least to me) turn and really elevated the fic. The fact that it can be taken at face value (all things considered they really didn't have much of a say) or as the understandable worries of someone fearing they jumped out the pan and into the fire is just great. Best of luck in the contest!

The chains may be broken, but their ghosts remain.

Fascinating fic extrapolating on a nation damaged to its core, and the murky real-politik of its new rulers. Even if Cadance is supposedly a weak descendent of Princess Amore.

Good stuff.

I also find that the most choking traumas are the ones I am too afraid to let go of. Surely, there's no reason to get comfortable if more pain is just around the corner, I would tell myself. It's that kind of thinking that is difficult to let go of, especially when the change comes too swiftly. When all you've ever known was suffering at the hands of captor, anything new is terrifying, even if it's the tender and loving embrace of someone you can trust. Thank you for this story. Quite moving, for just a thousand words. I wish you luck in the judging.

I've always headcanoned Cadence as being descended from the old Crystal monarchs. But even so, she really did get foisted upon them, didn't she?

A heartfelt story of enduring trauma, though one that ends with hope.:heart: Thank you for writing.

The show pretty much just jumped straight into the action, the crystal pones seemingly unphased after 1000 years of magical imprisonment, even with Sombra returning they were like oh noes, but once Spike and Cadence "saved the day" it was like nothing happened.

This story covers deep-seated trauma that doesn't go away with a hug and a song.

10/10 :twilightsmile:

"Sombra may be gone, but the mark he left on our souls will never fade"
-Some Crystal Pony

This was really good, I think this one is a competition winner.
It's been a while since a fan fic made me feel so strongly, the whole scenario was just so visceral, and real.
10/10

Her urge to demand everyone bow and show respect to Sombra for fear of punishment is very strong stuff. The pony spent 1000 years just waiting for them to come back and then he was instantly trying to take back the empire, I’d be questioning whether or not he was gone for good too. There really aren’t enough stories on the aftermath of Sombra’s tyranny.

Good read.

Cmon Arctic!
There's no shame in missing the past
I get it
You got used to it so when it finally changed it hurt huh?

11601303
Thank you. It's an aspect I can see myself returning to again someday...there's a reason why the crystal Ponies have found their way into most of my major projects. I feel like they're a well of creativity that, even a decade later, remains untapped.

11601493
More so when you've been raised your whole life to believe you don't deserve it.

11602153
While that's possible, the time period between the Empire's return and Cadance's birth being roughly 1000 years implies to me that Cadance herself would be lacking any actual first hoof exposure to the Crystal Empire and any of it's culture.

It's not really my intention to write that section as a dig at Cadance, more just the product of Lily's contemplations. How it can be hard to immediately trust one authority figure after you've been under the tyrannical hoof or another for so long, as 11601602 noted. Even Lily doesn't fully understand her bitterness, since for all intents and purposes Cadance has been good to them.

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Thank you kindly. Trauma is a difficult thing to write sometimes. I'm glad you enjoyed and I'm grateful for your praise.

RB_

The idea that the crystal ponies might resent Cadance for not being a crystal pony herself (among other stated reasons) is a very interesting one that I had not encountered prior to reading this. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the contest!

This one needs to win. One doesn't let go of trauma with a single love blast. You did extremely well bringing this idea to life.

Dang bro you got two different Youtubers reading your story. Congrats

https://m.

Lots of readings I see ^^’

She should be happy. She tried her best to make herself feel so, as her hoof continued to rub and prod at that same spot on her neck.

Arctic Lily felt like crying, instead.

oof! great opening, really putting us in the hooves of a perspective too rarely seen. after all the Crystal Ponies went through between Sombra and their centuries of banishment to the shadow realm or whatever, there really must be very many lingering psychological effects

The reigns of their fate had been hoofed over to their liberators. The ponies who had finally broken their chains... they held control over them, now.

Lily knew better than to be bitter. To think such thoughts, of their rulers... she knew better. She knew the consequence of disobedience. She'd been taught it, again and again.

and, oof! can definitely see this perspective from the Crystal Ponies’ side, watching one unelected monarch be replaced by another

Did it matter that they'd been assigned to her? Like a project?

a real twist of the knife, and all of it just a straightforward description of the whole deal with Cadance! it really is strange when one actually takes a closer look, isn’t it

She returned home, and closed her door. She had no place in an optimistic Empire, she supposed. She lay against it and sobbed openly to an empty room, and the chains around her neck felt heavier. Her eyes closed, and she could see his, peering back at her. They carved a path through her mind, through her soul. They burned away her being, they emptied out her worth. They reasserted her role as a link in a never-ending chain of her kind, existing to satisfy the whims of their tyrant king.

ooh, love this! and bringing back the chain as an analogy at the end is just perfection

Nothing crazy, just an idea I had in my brain that I wanted to get out before it left.

it is a really great one, rendered well. wonderful stuff, thanks so much for writing!

A devastating portrait of PTSD and learned helplessness. While it does more stop than end, there’s something to be said for the open ending. After all, one fair won’t magically heal years of trauma (even if it does restore some lost luster.) And yet there’s hope in Lily being willing to go out even knowing the risk of being overwhelmed by the things she thought she’d never have again.

And yeah, Celestia’s none-too-subtle ploy to get the Empire underhoof is going to cause some resentment with the locals. At least Cadence restoring the Heart gives some good PR, along with ruling with justice and compassion. But even if she is of the line of Amore, she isn’t one of them.

Great stuff throughout, even with the cutoff. Thank you for it.

What a beautifully written story, and in so few words! My hat's off to you!

I really loved this story and the way it explores a bit deeper the experience the crystal ponies experiences and how it affected them :))

This site will forever be in need of more crystal pony stories -- they're the tragically forgotten race and woefully under-utilized. This has a lot of vivid imagery on top of a good dip into the conflict likely to be felt by ponies subjected to (what is effectively) imperialism as soon as they poof back into being. The massive amount of trauma that these characters have been through is ripe for stories, and it'd be neat to see Arctic Lily find herself somewhere better in the future.

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