• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2015
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DrySpell


High-Tier Mediocrity | Commissions Open

Comments ( 19 )

Contains: Genderbent Flurry Heart, Impregnation, and enough family fuckin' to make Freud blush (Incest)

Why bother keeping this spoilered out? The synopsis seems to make it pretty clear what will happen in this story.

JD1
JD1 #2 · Jun 3rd, 2023 · · ·

11599720
Why bother asking questions that you know the answer to?

I don't think anyone REALLY appreciates DrySpell, this guy IS GOATED, like ALWAYS PUTTING OUT BANGERS.

For an incest story I wasn't expecting such an in-depth analysis on equestrian magic :rainbowhuh:

This might be the first story I've read with a male heir to the Crystal Empire. The gender-swap of Flurry Heart was perfectly executed. I don't mind incest-based stories but I'm also kinda glad that this one isn't foalcon and has Shining Armor having already passed away. I never really liked how the Princess of Love is always seen as loose, worse when she is cheating on her husband. This story shows just how much she loved her husband and it's nice to see.

Damn, am I alone in wanting him to nail the other Alicorn Princesses next?

When I saw the description, I originally thought that it was for This contest, but what was delivered was much more interesting and thought-provoking. And not to mention this actually isn't actively cheating (if we bend the definition a little), which is better in this circumstance.
Good job.

This was really fun. Really liked the slow burn towards the end and how Cadance actually had to find out herself when most of these types of fics it’s her being the one pulling the strings behind the scenes.

Really hope we get a continuation, see if they’re able to get married or not and if the empire is okay with that.

I wonder how long until Shakes shows up.

I'll give this a read if he gives it a good rating out of ten, I trust his opinion.

11599778
Thank you! I appreciate you all as well.

11599834
Me neither. The thought just kind of came to mind and I decided to write it in.

11599916
It's the first I've ever heard of the concept, though it does seem like it'd be popular. I'm glad I wrote it in a way you enjoyed.

11599964
You probably aren't, lol. Unfortunately, I think it'd undermine this story if he just went around and created a harem. This is about familial love, after all. A weird expression of it, but familial love nonetheless.

11600004
Ah, that'll be why there have been a few Cadance stories popping up here and there. Thanks for reading and enjoying the story!

11600011
The prompt I was given allowed me to write it either way, where Cadance or Frosty was the aggressor. I decided that it'd be more interesting if Frosty moved the plot forward and Cadance was kept relatively oblivious. Glad to see it worked out. Thanks for reading!

11599769
that's 98% of Starlight Nova's comments on the site.

I LOVE this story! 😍

Especially when the cheating stiff remain a secret, that is my favorite parts :3

Please, can you make one even on Shining Armor?
I love the idea he is a pervert who fuck anything with a pussy uncaring for his wife :3

11599964
I for one would love that extremly much. But i think it would be for the best to keep it to 1 other Princess that he gets to knock up, that Princess being his dear old Aunty Twilight Sparkle. If harem theory is to be used, then anyother Princess i think he should be baning the many Daughters he made with his Mommy & Aunty.

11600018
Yeah, it was pretty good. I didn't like that the beginning spoils the ending, but the tagging does that too so here we are. For me, the fact that it was O.C. made it hard to get into. Yeah it's supposed to be R63 Flurry Heart. But with no established canon characterization for Flurry, it's just an O.C. at that point.

A devious look that made Frosty shiver.

(Makes me thing of the G5 holiday special.)

Apollo threw me off too, until I figured out that it was a hundred years in the future. The first act seemed to drag a bit.
There were a lot of sentences that just read weird. For example:

His upper body was bare, revealing his long, slender upper body.

And it makes my editor senses kick in and it hurts my enjoyment.

The story beats were the familiar lusty/guilt milestones of the genre, or maybe it just seemed that way to me after writing it so many times. The shift in the tone with Cadance's direct involvement was a decent vehicle to shorten the second act and segue into the story climax. I was hoping that it would take more advantage of them being royals, or of her character as the de-facto Princess of Love. As it is, it felt a bit underutilized. It could just as well have been any colt/stallion and their mom, and it might have even felt more organic. The sex itself was good, if relatively brief when compared to the rest of the story.

Criticism aside, I did Like the story. Hopefully that's more helpful than a numerical 6.5/10. So if you're looking for my recommendation, you have it.

11604024
Thanks for the review. I appreciate your taking the time to analyze it and rate it.

I appreciate the criticism. I knew that Frosty would be a bit harder to relate to since he doesn't really have a character at all. What the fandom believes he should be would have been a good starting point. I'll do more research on the characters in the future.

As for the wonky sentences and editing hiccups, I have no excuse. Normally, they'd be caught and fixed after a pass or two of editing, but I suppose I just got a bit lazy this time around, and the story suffered for it. The pacing is a similar issue. I'm still not 100% comfortable writing to reach a specific word goal, so I end up dragging mundane parts of the story to make sure that it can reach it. But that's just bad practice. I'll have to work on those as well.

I didn't even think to use their status to my advantage. I guess that's just a lack of creativity on my part. When I write these I brainstorm over the course of a day and rarely if ever switch from that plan. I guess I could do to be a little less rigid with my storytelling.

Again, thanks for the review. It gave me a reason to think critically about my writing.

Well done, it's such a shame there's so little half R63 incest stories on here.

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