Prosthetic Path

A former antagonist has been offered new possibilities and has opened pathways to a brand-new life with the help of advanced technology. This simple operation has opened doors for the reformed villain, providing fresh opportunities for a better future.

This is my submission for the Cyberpunk Equestria Story Contest.
I would like to give my thanks to Mocha Star for all the editing they provided.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 7 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 7
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Hedonism Bot

Hedonism Bot #1 · May 30th, 2023 · 1 · ·

I had always thought it would be interesting if Tempest's old friends had gotten into prosthetics research - that far from having written her off as broken (or even to atone for making Tempest think that they had), they had dedicated their lives to developing the remedy that she had been desperately searching for. The "Tempest's Tale" comic had Glitter Drops in a completely different career, but Spring Rain is still unaccounted for...

Theresa

Theresa #2 · Jun 1st, 2023 · 2 · ·

Twilight could have used as opportunity to teach ponies about this new technology and how much it help tempest.

Moproblems Moharmoney

Moproblems Moharmoney #3 · Jun 24th, 2023 · 1 · ·

I honestly think there's a lot of potential in here. A first person perspective story about Tempest undergoing experimental surgery to cure her maiming? Gold. Unfortunately as you admitted in the fic, it's rushed. It also feels a bit too...smooth(?) for 'ol Fizzy, challenge wise that is. The word "Prosthetic Horn" noticeably came up a lot as well when you could alternate every now and then with "My horn" (perhaps even use that as a meta narrative example of her becoming more comfortable with it). I do feel you were onto something though with the self-consciousness scene, and delving into her mind at that level over a longer period would really make this shine. Make me *feel* the rage she has that this isn't an insta-cure, the shame when she can't even do the simplest of things. I want the little victories of a simple spell mastery paired with the existential fear that she's tied forever now to a machine.

Overall I enjoyed it, but it has the potential in it to be great.

Element of Malice

Element of Malice #4 · Jun 24th, 2023 · 1 · ·

11618626
I’m glad that you liked the potential that my story has in it. I say this quite often, but it’s just as accurate every time I do: ‘I tell stories better than I write them.’ And as you read in the Author’s Note, I had quite a series of unfortunate events. As a result, I was just trying to at least make it to the deadline and word count required for the contest it was for. Perhaps in the future, assuming I gain more confidence in my writing abilities, I might revise this story. Currently, when it comes to storytelling, I prioritize the idea of what I want over the presentation of the concept, so I need to improve my presentation skills.

Hopefully that all makes sense. I know what I’m trying to say but I struggle with getting it out right.