Following the battle with Discord and Ponyville’s near destruction, Twilight explores the Everfree to investigate lost chaos magic in the cursed forest. However, what she finds in the ruined castle proves more shocking than any amount of chaos magic.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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well, the second half of this was far better, kinda skimmed the first half since that was mostly the same. Understanding what was being said made this far more entertaining, we actually got to see what kind of person this warrior and the alicorn is.
And I actually like what I see. Unending determination is one of my favorite tropes to read. I wonder how she'll react to modern times with the point of view she would have now? So many questions, I'm sure at least a few will be answered soon.
Good job on fixing up this story, it has vastly improved in the second half (in my opinion). Though I do suggest getting an editor as small things are getting through (like forgetting a space after a period) nothing major, but I spotted one or two things.
I'll be watching, hope to see more soon.
Now this gonna be a good read!
11592376
Thx for the compliments, I try to do my best and I’m glad it paid off! :)
Said Sarcastically
11592376
Agreed
Tis but a scratch!
I can tell from the perspective this is from the earth pony view. Good focus is a little too hard on the flaws of the others
Res, klos hu's mukr kettegr. (Well, this is much better.)
HOWEVER
I would really advise to NOT use gibberish (or is it greek?) when characters speak the same language. They understand each other, so there is no need to add layers of confusion on top.
Will give it a read later.
11677773
It is Greek.