A Dragon Grieving

by Cinnamon Aurora

Depression

Author's Note:

While when thinking about the stages of grief, one would assume that they are linear. But that's not the case. Some people skip stages, or spend most of their time in one. Some burry their grief so you would assume that they never experienced it.

But me, personally, with the loss of many family members, I experienced Depression before the bargaining stage. That is why I chose this chapter when I did.

Luster Dawn was awoken one morning shortly after sunrise by a gentle knock on her door. She rolled over at first, thinking it was still a dream but the knock repeated louder this time. "Mmm," She slowly opens her eyes and groggily looks towards the door. "Who is it?"

"It's me. Luster Dawn can I-?" The door was opened before Spike finished speaking. "-come in?"

"Of course, you can, Spike." Luster Dawn answered, opening the door wider to make room for the dragon. Taking a closer look, Luster Dawn was able to see that his eyes were red and puffy. "Are you okay?" She watched as Spike took a seat on her bed, the smell of alcohol followed.

As soon as the question left her mouth, Spike started crying again. He shook his head and sniffed. "I… I r...really miss her." Spike spoke through his sobs. "She w…was there for me my whole life. I w..was afraid the…that I would outlive her. But when she b..became an Alicorn I th…
thought I would have longer with her." Luster Dawn climbed onto the bed and sat next to Spike in silence, patting his back gently with a hoof. "And now she's gone." He wailed in anguish, a sound that practically echoed the half of the castle. "She's gone." Spike took a deep breath and looked sadly over at Luster Dawn. "What am I supposed to do?"

Luster Dawn smiled sadly up at Spike. "I can't tell you how to grieve, Spike. I can only be here for you. But how about we start by getting you a bath? You've been shut up in your room for weeks. It might help."

"I don't need you to draw a bath for me," Spike said sadly, starting to walk down the hallway.

"No, you don't need me to. but I am offering." Luster Dawn walked by his side. "Or I could tidy up your room a bit. Would you like that instead?" Spike was silent for a moment and nodded before opening the bathroom door. "I'm just down the hall if you need me." Luster Dawn offered Spike a hug that he slowly and loosely returned. "Come join us for breakfast? Celestia and Luna have been worried about you."

"Sure." Spike sniffed and rubbed a tear away from his eye before shutting the bathroom door behind him.

Luster Dawn waited until she heard the water running to head to Spike's room, teleporting garbage bags and cleaning products to her side. "First thing to do is tackle this mess." She gasped when she opened the door. Stacks of plates with half-eaten food were piled on surfaces of the room, broken bottles lay in a pile along the wall underneath a streak of the fermented grape juice stain that ran down a wall, empty intact bottles litter the floor to the point that it was difficult to walk, another wall was covered in claw marks or holes where the wall was punched. "Oh, Spike," She whispers to herself. "Why didn't you reach out sooner?" Without another word, She prepared a garbage bag and went to work.

Halfway into cleaning, Spike came out of the bathroom before she finished cleaning and sat on his bed looking ashamed as Luster Dawn sifted through the mess. He watched as she wordlessly dumped the old food off of the plates before she stacked them, all of the glass bottles cleared away already. The two of them made eye contact briefly and Luster Dawn gave a calm and comforting smile before turning her attention to the stain on the wall.

"I'm sorry," Spike spoke softly as Luster Dawn scrubbed away.

"Don't mention it, Spike. Nopony is upset with you." She looked over to see him staring at a stain on the floor. "Spike, it's okay."

"It's not okay." His eyes started to water again. "She's not coming back. She can't come back."

Luster Dawn put down the cleaning supplies and sat next to him. "Do you want to talk about it?" Spike shook his head. "How about we go down for breakfast? I'm sure Celestia and Luna are awake by now." Spike nodded reluctantly.

In the kitchen, some ponies are already preparing breakfast and the princesses already have their seats. "Spike, I am so glad you have decided to join us. I shall have your breakfast prepared." Luna tapped her hooves together and three other ponies came over. "Remember ponies, he likes the green ones." The ponies set off and Luna turns her attention to Spike. "Please sit, Spike."

Spike stood awkwardly for a moment before he took the seat next to Luster Dawn. "It's good to see you, Spike." Celestia smiled before she started on her breakfast. "We won't force you to talk about anything. Your presence is enough." A plate of gemstone pancakes was placed in front of Spike and the four of them ate while the three mares carried on a casual conversation, laughing occasionally.

It was Luster Dawn who first drew the attention back to Spike. "Spike, you're hardly eating." Spike had taken a few bites and was moving the rest of the food on the plate with his fork. "I thought the green ones were your favorite."

Spike sighed. "I don't feel like eating today." He sat his fork down and looked around the table. "How can you three be okay with this? Don't you miss her at all? How could you laugh?"

Celestia glanced at Spike empathetically, "Of course, we miss her, Spike. She was the most faithful and devoted student I ever had."

"And the greatest teacher in all of Equestria." Luster Dawn added.

"She is the only reason I stand here before you today. It is thanks to her and her friends with the aid of the Elements of Harmony that Nightmare Moon was banished from me." Luna said, bowing her head.

"Spike, the pain you feel from losing somepony you care about," Celestia spoke softly as he made eye contact with her. "Never gets better. It just gets easier to deal with, and in time will hurt less."

"Well, what am I supposed to do until then?" Spike asked softly, his eyes beginning to water.

Luster Dawn gently pats his shoulder. "You grieve, Spike. We'll be here for you." The alicorns nodded their heads. "Please try to eat, Spike."

Spike nodded but just went back to pushing his food around on his plate sadly for about a minute before he sighed sadly and left the table. Luster Dawn followed him out of the kitchen then down the halls to his room. "Spike?"

He stopped with his claw on the door. "What?" he asked, his voice void of emotion.

"You okay?"

He sniffed as he began to cry again. "What do you think, Luster Dawn? I'm going back to bed."

Luster Dawn nodded. "Okay, Spike. Just remember, I'm only a few doors down."

"I know." Spike entered his room and softly shut the door behind him, his sobs could be heard from the other side.

Luster Dawn sat on the other side of his door, so deep in thought she didn't hear that the princesses followed her.

"If he does not want to reach out, you will be unable to help him." Luster Dawn jumped slightly at the sound of Luna's voice.

"I know Princess Luna." Luster Dawn sighed as Celestia joined them. "I just wish he would reach out."

"All we can do is be there for him when he does. I don't doubt that you would be the best support system that anypony could ask for," Celestia gently pats Luster Dawn's shoulders. "Come, let's continue our breakfast."

Luster Dawn nodded as the three of them went back to the kitchen. As they ate, a scroll made its way to Luster Dawn as a trail of green dragon fire. She opened it with her magic to read two simple words in Spike's claw writing.

Thank you.

Luster Dawn smiled slightly and rolled the scroll back up. Spike will come around, and when he does Luster Dawn will be the best friend he ever had, just how Twilight would want.