> A Dragon Grieving > by Cinnamon Aurora > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Denial > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A few moons have passed since Twilight ordered Spike to stay at Luster Dawn’s side, as curious as he was to know what has become of her; he remained at the Castle in Canterlot. The more the days went by the more Spike worried, so he sent a letter to Celestia. It didn’t take too long for a response. He was filled with even more worry when Celestia’s letter said that neither she nor Luna has seen Twilight since she visited with them. He sent a letter to Cadence and to the others in Ponyville too, who replied in the same manner. After Twilight lost the last of her five closest friends, no one has heard from her. But since he promised to stay with Luster Dawn in Canterlot, all he could do was wait for news from anypony.  The news came about a week later in the form of Celestia sadly walking up the walk of the throne room. “Spike, we know what happened to Twilight.” “Is she out on a long trip to solve a friendship lesson? She’ll be back soon, right?” Spike jumped up to meet Celestia.  “Spike… it truly pains me to say this but, Twilight isn’t coming back.”  “You mean she’s on an extended stay… right? Where did she go? Manehattan?”  “Spike.” A single tear slides down Celestia’s cheek. “Twilight poisoned herself. She’s not coming back. She can’t come back.” Spike stood there in shock as he felt Luster Dawn pat him on the back. “No. No, that can’t be right. Twilight wouldn't do that, Celestia. You go on back to Silver Shoals. Luster Dawn and I have everything under control here.” “Spike…” Celestia starts before she is cut off by Spike. “I insist. Everything will be okay here.”  Celestia starts to head off, but not before waving Luster Dawn over to her with a wing. She bends down to whisper in the ear of the unicorn. “You’ll keep an eye on him, won’t you?” Luster Dawn nods sadly. “You can count on me.” “Thank you, Luster Dawn. He’ll really need a friend once this sets in.” “You can count on me. But… What does this mean for Equestria?” Luster Dawn asks. “It means my sister and I will have to come out of retirement. But for now, I really must go. Goodbye, Luster Dawn."  "Goodbye Celestia." Luster Dawn waved goodbye as Celestia walked off. When she turned around, she noticed that Spike had suddenly started cleaning. "Spike? What are you doing?" "This castle is absolutely filthy."  Luster Dawn looked around at the surroundings which practically sparkled. "Really? We just cleaned yesterday." "Yeah but…" Spike stalled. "But look!" He lets out a puff of fire, lightly burning part of a tapestry behind the throne. "Oops! I'm so clumsy. I should go get this fixed!"  Before Luster Dawn could say anything, Spike carefully took down the tapestry and ran off. She sighed. "This is going to be harder than I thought." She thinks to herself before leaving to follow him, maintaining a careful distance to not get caught.  She followed Spike to Canterlot Boutique and was surprised to see that Amethyst stood in front of a mannequin hovering pins in her pale blue magic aura and focused on a beautiful golden dress that shimmered in the sunlight that was coming through the windows. As Spike opened the door, a little bell rang. "If you would give me just one moment?" Amethyst said as she sticks a pin in place carefully.  "Sure, take your time." Spike responded. "Spike! I'd know that voice anywhere. What brings you?" Amethyst set down her supplies and walked towards Spike. From the window, Luster Dawn watches.  “I had a bit of a sneezing fit from dust, and burnt this tapestry. I knew if anypony could fix it, it would be you.” Spike chuckled. ”I don’t know what’s gotten over me, I’ve been so clumsy lately.” He handed over the tapestry that he held in his claw. “It’s not a lot of damage, but I thought I could get it to you while I was out enjoying the fresh air. I needed to get away from all of that dust, you know?” Amethyst nodded. “I understand, Spike, there are some days I just want to get out of the shop too. Nothing is wrong with that.” She hovered the tapestry out from Spike’s claw and set it on a table. “Well it looks like the design on it was spared. Luckily I have some of the same materials the burnt tassels are made from. I can get this fixed in no time. Feel free to look around.” As she went to work, Spike took his time both admiring Amethyst’s work, and looking over some of the remaining few dresses that Rarity made in her last moments.   “Amethyst?” Spike speaks up into the silence. “How are you?” Spike carefully holds part of a particularly beautiful dress with roses stitched into the hem. The dress is small, sewn with care for a young filly.. “What do you mean Spike?” She glances over at the dragon and notices the dress he’s looking at. “Oh-” She sets the repair materials down and walks over to Spike’s side. “Honestly, Spike. I still miss her every day. That is the one dress I am always going to keep. I take it with me anytime I have to visit a shop outside of Ponyville. She made it for my Cute-ceañera after I designed it myself. She wanted to surprise me.” She looks up at the dragon to see a sad frown on his face. “Spike? What’s wrong?” Spike noticed the unicorn looking up at him in concern and quickly cleared his throat and put on a smile. “Nothing is wrong! Everything is fine here. Just fine and dandy. How is the tapestry coming along?” Amethyst rolled her eyes in disbelief but went along with it anyway, not wanting to force Spike to talk about anything he didn’t want to. She walks back over to the table. “I just have to remove and replace this fringe since I recreated it.” Her horn began to glow, as she replaced the burnt fringe with the new one. “Really, Spike, You should be more careful where you aim your sneezes.” She quickly makes a few touches on the tapestry before hovering it back over to him. “I don’t have any fabrics that are resistant to dragon fire.”  “I know.” Spike blushed sheepishly. “I’ll be more careful next time. I promise.” As Spike started to head for the door, Luster Dawn dove into a bush just in time to avoid being spotted.  As she sighed with relief she looked to her right to see that she had startled a skunk and it was starting to raise its tail at her. “AHH!” She screamed and teleported away just in time to avoid being caught, but unfortunately she teleported right on top of Spike who fell over in surprise. “Oof! Oh pony feathers…”  “Holy guacamole! Luster Dawn? What are you doing?” Spoke got to his feet first then quickly helped Luster Dawn to her hooves. “You weren’t following me were you?” “Following? Me? Follow you?” She scoffs. “I would never. Why would I do something like that? It’s just such a beautiful day, I thought I would go outside.” Spike just stares at her, crossing his arms. She sighs. “Okay, I was following you. I told Celestia that I would keep an eye on you.” “Why would she want that? I’m fine. Everything is fine.” Spike helps brush the dirt off of Luster Dawn’s coat and walks towards the castle.  “Spike, wait!” Luster Dawn quickened her pace to catch up to Spike’s long strides. “You need to talk to somepony.”  “No, I don’t. Everything is fine. I just have to clean the castle and go to Ponyville and see if anypony there needs help. Maybe you can come with me.” Spike walks faster, leaving Luster Dawn on the road. “Yeah, maybe.” She sighed and started to follow Spike at a slow pace. Maybe Spike will open up sometime. But it’s probably better she didn’t push it.    > Anger > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- About a moon of Spike ignoring the problem and staying busy with meaningless tasks passed. He would brush off Luster Dawn whenever she offered a hoof to help or an ear to listen, so eventually, she just let him be while occasionally checking in on him. Celestia and Luna made that announcement about Twilight’s death and were ready to move back into the castle and allowed Spike and Luster Dawn to still live there with them. One day, as Luster Dawn knocked on Spike’s door, she was greeted a little differently. “Go away!” Spike shouted from behind the door. “But Spike, it’s time for breakfast. Aren’t you hungry?” Luster Dawn took an involuntary step back when she heard the dragon shout.  The door opened and Spike glared at her, the smell of fermented apple cider wafted from his room. “Couldn’t you send somepony to my room with it as you have been?” “I… I could,” Luster Dawn stuttered, “But you should come down to join us. It’s not good to keep locked up in your room.” She looks around Spike to take a look inside his room, empty bottles of cider and other alcoholic drinks litter the floor. “Are you alright Spike?” Spike rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine. The mare who raised me from an egg is dead. Didn’t even say goodbye before she found a way to kill herself from the grief. Who wouldn’t be fine? Send my food up and don’t talk to me.”  Luster Dawn winced as Spike slammed the door shut. She stood there for a moment, debating on if she should knock again, but ultimately, she decided against it. She sighed and made her way to the kitchen where Celestia and Luna were waiting for her. “He still won’t come down. What am I supposed to do?” “There is nothing we can do other than be ready for him when he decides that he needs us,” Luna spoke first.  Celestia nods in agreement. “Everypony, or dragon, in this case, grieves differently. If Spike wants to be left alone, then we should respect that.” “But he’s clearly hurting! Why won't he just let us help him? He’s up in his room drinking the day away, and the sun isn’t even at its highest point yet.” Luna gets up from her chair and makes her way around the table to pat Luster Dawn’s back. “I know this is difficult for you, Luster Dawn. It is difficult for us too. But if we will not let us help him, we cannot. It will just make him angry with us.”  “I think he’s already angry with me.” Luster Dawn sighs sadly as she prepares two plates of the pancakes the staff prepared. She hovered one over to a nearby unicorn. “Please bring this up to Spike.” The staff uniform nods and takes the plate in her aura and heads up the stairs to Spike’s room. She turns back to the two princesses. “So I’m supposed to just wait until he’s ready to come to me? How long will that take? It’s already been a moon since he was told and he spent it denying that anything was wrong and doing anything but relaxing. I even saw him counting feathers on a chicken for Buttercup on a trip to Ponyville! And Buttercup didn’t even ask for that!” Luster Dawn’s voice gradually raised as she spoke until she was yelling.  “Calm your emotions, Luster Dawn. It is fair to be upset, but getting angry with Spike right now will solve nothing.” Luna speaks calmly. “Well, what can I do until then?” Luster Dawn asks, looking between the two princesses. “There might be some books in the library to help.” Celestia offered.  Luster Dawn thinks for a moment. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” Luster Dawn quickly finishes her breakfast and heads to the library. “Thank you, princesses!” The two princesses waved her off before standing up to leave the kitchen to attend to their duties.  In the library, Luster Dawn walked up the towering rows of books muttering to herself as she passed each row. “Magic… no. Operations? Absolutely not. Poinsettias… no. Quantum Theory? Even if it were what I needed, I’m not smart enough for that. Railroad history… No, that won’t do.” Finally, her eyes fell on one particular book. “Supporting a grieving friend? Perfect!” Luster Dawn grabs the book and finds a place where she won’t be bothered by anypony to sit and read.  Hours go by and Luster Dawn finds more and more books on the topic. As she read she learned that ponies go through different stages of grief, five to be exact, and right now, Spike seems to be going through the anger stage. The books also went over how to help people and while they were all worded vastly differently, they all said essentially the same things: Be there for your friends, listen to them, offer them any help they may need, and don’t be afraid to talk about the pony who passed. While Luster Dawn knows that those are the best things to do, it’s going to be pretty hard to do them if Spike seemingly wants nothing to do with her.  As Luster Dawn levitated yet another book over to her, she was interrupted by the librarian quietly clearing her throat. “I’m sorry, but we’ll be closing soon, would you like to check any of those out?”  Luster Dawn noticed the large piles of books next to her for what appeared to be the first time. “Oh! I’m so sorry. I’ll help you put all of these away.” The librarian chuckles softly. “It’s alright. I can take care of it, would you like to take any with you?”  Luster Dawn shook her head. “No, I think I got all of the information I needed. Thank you.” She stands up and stretches, making her way out of the library.  Luna has already raised the moon, she was in there much longer than she thought. She made her way to the library in the still of the night. Walking down the hallway of the quiet castle, she stopped outside Spike's door and knocked twice.  “I said go AWAY!” Spike drunkenly slurred from the other side of the door.  “Spike, I know you want nothing to do with any of us right now, but I just wanted to let you know that we’re here for you. It’s okay to talk about it, and if you need anything at all, just ask us… okay?” On the other side of the door, Spike sat on the floor drinking from another bottle. He didn’t say anything; he just waited until he heard Luster Dawn shut the door to her own room, finished off his bottle, and flung it across the room, shattering it on impact with the wall. “Yeah, whatever.” He mutters before climbing into his own bed and going to sleep. Eventually, Spike did let Luster Dawn into his room, and while he still met her with cynical responses to questions and passive-aggressive behavior, it was certainly better than nothing. Luster Dawn is willing to do whatever it takes for however long it takes to help see Spike through this. And it starts by being patient. > Depression > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Luster Dawn was awoken one morning shortly after sunrise by a gentle knock on her door. She rolled over at first, thinking it was still a dream but the knock repeated louder this time. "Mmm," She slowly opens her eyes and groggily looks towards the door. "Who is it?"  "It's me. Luster Dawn can I-?" The door was opened before Spike finished speaking. "-come in?" "Of course, you can, Spike." Luster Dawn answered, opening the door wider to make room for the dragon. Taking a closer look, Luster Dawn was able to see that his eyes were red and puffy. "Are you okay?" She watched as Spike took a seat on her bed, the smell of alcohol followed.  As soon as the question left her mouth, Spike started crying again. He shook his head and sniffed. "I… I r...really miss her." Spike spoke through his sobs. "She w…was there for me my whole life. I w..was afraid the…that I would outlive her. But when she b..became an Alicorn I th…  thought I would have longer with her." Luster Dawn climbed onto the bed and sat next to Spike in silence, patting his back gently with a hoof. "And now she's gone." He wailed in anguish, a sound that practically echoed the half of the castle. "She's gone." Spike took a deep breath and looked sadly over at Luster Dawn. "What am I supposed to do?" Luster Dawn smiled sadly up at Spike. "I can't tell you how to grieve, Spike. I can only be here for you. But how about we start by getting you a bath? You've been shut up in your room for weeks. It might help." "I don't need you to draw a bath for me," Spike said sadly, starting to walk down the hallway. "No, you don't need me to. but I am offering." Luster Dawn walked by his side. "Or I could tidy up your room a bit. Would you like that instead?" Spike was silent for a moment and nodded before opening the bathroom door. "I'm just down the hall if you need me." Luster Dawn offered Spike a hug that he slowly and loosely returned. "Come join us for breakfast? Celestia and Luna have been worried about you." "Sure." Spike sniffed and rubbed a tear away from his eye before shutting the bathroom door behind him.  Luster Dawn waited until she heard the water running to head to Spike's room, teleporting garbage bags and cleaning products to her side. "First thing to do is tackle this mess." She gasped when she opened the door. Stacks of plates with half-eaten food were piled on surfaces of the room, broken bottles lay in a pile along the wall underneath a streak of the fermented grape juice stain that ran down a wall, empty intact bottles litter the floor to the point that it was difficult to walk, another wall was covered in claw marks or holes where the wall was punched. "Oh, Spike," She whispers to herself. "Why didn't you reach out sooner?" Without another word, She prepared a garbage bag and went to work.  Halfway into cleaning, Spike came out of the bathroom before she finished cleaning and sat on his bed looking ashamed as Luster Dawn sifted through the mess. He watched as she wordlessly dumped the old food off of the plates before she stacked them, all of the glass bottles cleared away already. The two of them made eye contact briefly and Luster Dawn gave a calm and comforting smile before turning her attention to the stain on the wall.  "I'm sorry," Spike spoke softly as Luster Dawn scrubbed away.  "Don't mention it, Spike. Nopony is upset with you." She looked over to see him staring at a stain on the floor. "Spike, it's okay." "It's not okay." His eyes started to water again. "She's not coming back. She can't come back." Luster Dawn put down the cleaning supplies and sat next to him. "Do you want to talk about it?" Spike shook his head. "How about we go down for breakfast? I'm sure Celestia and Luna are awake by now." Spike nodded reluctantly.  In the kitchen, some ponies are already preparing breakfast and the princesses already have their seats. "Spike, I am so glad you have decided to join us. I shall have your breakfast prepared." Luna tapped her hooves together and three other ponies came over. "Remember ponies, he likes the green ones." The ponies set off and Luna turns her attention to Spike. "Please sit, Spike."  Spike stood awkwardly for a moment before he took the seat next to Luster Dawn. "It's good to see you, Spike." Celestia smiled before she started on her breakfast. "We won't force you to talk about anything. Your presence is enough." A plate of gemstone pancakes was placed in front of Spike and the four of them ate while the three mares carried on a casual conversation, laughing occasionally. It was Luster Dawn who first drew the attention back to Spike. "Spike, you're hardly eating." Spike had taken a few bites and was moving the rest of the food on the plate with his fork. "I thought the green ones were your favorite."  Spike sighed. "I don't feel like eating today." He sat his fork down and looked around the table. "How can you three be okay with this? Don't you miss her at all? How could you laugh?" Celestia glanced at Spike empathetically, "Of course, we miss her, Spike. She was the most faithful and devoted student I ever had." "And the greatest teacher in all of Equestria." Luster Dawn added. "She is the only reason I stand here before you today. It is thanks to her and her friends with the aid of the Elements of Harmony that Nightmare Moon was banished from me." Luna said, bowing her head.  "Spike, the pain you feel from losing somepony you care about," Celestia spoke softly as he made eye contact with her. "Never gets better. It just gets easier to deal with, and in time will hurt less." "Well, what am I supposed to do until then?" Spike asked softly, his eyes beginning to water. Luster Dawn gently pats his shoulder. "You grieve, Spike. We'll be here for you." The alicorns nodded their heads. "Please try to eat, Spike." Spike nodded but just went back to pushing his food around on his plate sadly for about a minute before he sighed sadly and left the table. Luster Dawn followed him out of the kitchen then down the halls to his room. "Spike?"  He stopped with his claw on the door. "What?" he asked, his voice void of emotion.  "You okay?" He sniffed as he began to cry again. "What do you think, Luster Dawn? I'm going back to bed." Luster Dawn nodded. "Okay, Spike. Just remember, I'm only a few doors down."  "I know." Spike entered his room and softly shut the door behind him, his sobs could be heard from the other side.  Luster Dawn sat on the other side of his door, so deep in thought she didn't hear that the princesses followed her.  "If he does not want to reach out, you will be unable to help him." Luster Dawn jumped slightly at the sound of Luna's voice.  "I know Princess Luna." Luster Dawn sighed as Celestia joined them. "I just wish he would reach out." "All we can do is be there for him when he does. I don't doubt that you would be the best support system that anypony could ask for," Celestia gently pats Luster Dawn's shoulders. "Come, let's continue our breakfast." Luster Dawn nodded as the three of them went back to the kitchen. As they ate, a scroll made its way to Luster Dawn as a trail of green dragon fire. She opened it with her magic to read two simple words in Spike's claw writing.  Thank you. Luster Dawn smiled slightly and rolled the scroll back up. Spike will come around, and when he does Luster Dawn will be the best friend he ever had, just how Twilight would want.