Chapter VI: "Nine Times Out of Ten"
(I will probably redo this chapter, since it seems off to me. Still, I wanted to get something up for progress.)
You simply looked at the mare, watching in disbelief as the full extent of her injuries became apparent. Words failed you as you watched the mare fall apart even more, all composure that she had gathered failing her. Without a thought you moved towards her, wrapping a hoof around her, and pulling her close. She pressed her head into your chest as great sobs wracked her frame, each one moving your body due to the force. Her sobs slowly weakened as the minutes passed until she finally stopped, and there was just the gentle sound of her breathing.
“Note, I didn’t want to tell you, since it just proved you right. I was so damn stubborn. I’ve always been stubborn, but that last stallion… Celestia, Octavia warned me! She told me that he was wrong, but I didn’t listen.”
“We all make mistakes, Vinyl. You’re no exception.” With a gentle push you moved the mare away from your chest a bit, and she looked up at you when she was the right distance away. “You didn’t see what was there waiting for you the whole time, and I didn’t chase what I wanted.” You brought a hoof up to the mare’s cheek and you gently wiped away a tear, smiling at the alabaster unicorn. “There’s no road map to life, Vinyl. Sometimes we have to take a wrong turn or two in order to find the right way home.”
The mare fought to keep the smile off her face for a moment, but she quickly relented, allowing the small smile to brighten her face. “Don’t quote your sister, Note. It’s too soon.”
“I’ll quote whoever I like, Vinyl.” As you spoke, you pulled the mare into a hug, and she let you. “Now, how about we head home, and get you cleaned up. Then we can figure out what we’ll do.” A gentle nod was all you got in response from the mare, and soon enough the two of you were heading out of the cemetery, and back towards Ponyville. Thankfully nopony noticed the extent of Vinyl’s injuries, so you were able to enter your home without any fuss.
You put Vinyl onto the couch in the living room while you went up to the bathroom to get the first aid kit that you had. When you entered the bathroom you noticed your reflection staring back at you, and it gave you pause for a moment. The stallion looking back at you seemed so familiar, and yet, at the same time, something had changed. What it was that had changed you couldn’t say, but the look on that stallion’s face was different. Just a short while ago you had been talking to yourself in the mirror, trying to figure out what you’d do, and now you knew. Amazing what a difference a few hours could make.
The first aid kit made a satisfying clicking noise as you snapped it shut. Most of Vinyl’s injuries had been far less damaging than they had looked, but that didn’t make it any easier to see her wince in pain when you had applied the rubbing alcohol. Now, though, she had bandages covering a fair portion of her sides, and the bruises on her face had gone down some due to the ice that you had applied. With your task finished you put the first aid kit away before going back to the living room.
The mare was sitting in the same position as when you had left to put the kit away, and so you simply stood and stared at her, and she at you. A faint smile tugged at your lips as you recalled the last time something like this happened. Now, though, there were some fairly important differences. Differences that you knew would make this conversation go much better than it had last time.
You sat yourself down in the chair that was opposite her, and then you leaned back, looking at the mare. She was looking back at you, and so you made a small gesture with your hoof, as if asking her to continue. She just tilted her head, and you let out a small groan. “Do I need to spell it out for you?” The mare looked just as confused now as she did a moment ago, so you shook your head. “Fine. Just, try and play along.”
“What?”
“Ya know, this is the point where most ponies would thank the pony that helped them.” The mare continued to look confused for a moment before realization dawned on her face. A blush came to her cheeks as she quickly averted her gaze away from your own.
“I… I know, it’s just that, well, I’m not used to being quite so weak. Over the past few years I’ve never really had to rely on anypony. I’ve always been able to take care of myself, and I’ve never been in a situation that I couldn’t fix myself. But now? Now I’m finding that I don’t have quite as much control over my life as I’d like.” The mare looked back at you for a moment, and you saw her smile. “I want to thank you, but I don’t know quite what I can say that would really tell you how I feel.”
“Don’t worry, Vinyl. I’m sure you’ll think of some way to show me how you feel.” The mare just nodded slightly before she adjusted the way she was sitting on the couch. “Comfy?”
The mare blushed even more than she was a moment ago as she shook her head. “Not really. I’d much rather have you a bit closer.” With a slight spring to your step you got out of the seat you were in, and you moved closer to the mare, but you didn’t get on the couch.
“Better?” The mare just smiled before she patted a hoof on the couch next to her. “Oh, you want me to sit next to you?” The mare nodded and you happily obliged her.
“Note, do we really have to play this out the whole way? We both know what you’re going to say, and we both know what my answer will be.” The mare leaned into you as she spoke, and you soon had your hooves wrapped around her.
“Yes, we do. It didn’t go the way it should have six years ago, so we’ll do it right this time.” You pulled the mare a bit closer as she leaned into you, and a small sigh escaped her. After a moment of enjoying the closeness, you saw, and felt, the mare move her hooves up to yours, gently rubbing your hooves with hers. As you began to speak you felt yourself stumble just a bit over your words. You knew what you wanted to say, but this would be the first time you’d ever say it to Vinyl. “Has… Has anypony ever told you that you’re the most beautiful mare they’ve ever seen?”
Silence reigned supreme in the room for several minutes as you listened to the sound of your breathing, Vinyl’s breathing, and the gentle ticking of the clock in the room. A tiny drop of water landed on your hoof and you knew that Vinyl was crying. “No.” The mare pulled your hooves a bit closer to her chest as she continued. “Nopony has ever told me that.”
“Oh.” You gently nuzzled the mare’s neck for a moment before you continued. “Well then I take it you’re single, since no stallion with a brain would be able to think otherwise.”
The mare let out a small sigh at your compliment before she resumed the little dialogue. “I am single, actually. Although it’s not for lack of trying. A ton of stallions have asked me out, but all of them were just interested in my flank. Once they realized that they wouldn’t be getting any from me, they bolted.”
“Well, I’m interested in the pony more than I am the flank. And, it just so happens that I’m single too.”
“Are you asking me out, Pure Note?”
“Yes, Vinyl. Yes I am.” Without any pause at all, the mare broke free from your grasp, and she launched herself at you, planting a kiss on your lips. It was brief, but that was all it took, really.
“I’d love to. More than anything else in the world.” You raised an eyebrow and the mare blushed even more than she was already. “Okay, second most. I really would like a new turntable.” The mare just smiled a moment before she kissed you again. “Out of the two, though, I’d still pick you nine times out of ten.”
The small café wasn’t really that busy, and so you and Vinyl quickly got seats. Vinyl’s bandaged nature drew a few looks, but it was nothing that the mare wasn’t already used to. Being famous had as many perks as it did drawbacks, and one of those drawbacks was being noticed everywhere she went. You got a few glances as well, simply by being close to the mare, but you didn’t really mind. You were with Vinyl, and the rest of the world could just go and buck itself.
Being the gentlestallion you are, you pulled out the chair for Vinyl when you got to the table, and she blushed at the small gesture. It made you feel good to make her happy like this, and shortly after you were looking at a menu, puzzling out what you’d be getting to eat. You weren’t really feeling all that hungry, so you just put down your menu for a moment before looking at the mare.
“Say, Vinyl, I’m not really all that hungry, so how about we just get something to share?” The mare lowered her own menu before she smiled and nodded.
Nothing overly complicated was ordered, just some hay fries, and from there you spoke about all manner of topics with the mare. She regaled you with all sorts of stories of things that she’d seen and done in Canterlot while you listened attentively. There was never a really dull moment since you almost always had some new topic emerge from whatever you were talking about prior.
Each time you thought you knew something about the mare she surprised you with some new facet to her personality. She certainly surprised you when she began mentioning some more classical pieces as being some of her favorites. She even mentioned a few pieces that you’d helped in making. When the topic finally migrated to what you’d been up to, you found yourself unusually uncomfortable. Quite a bit of your time over the past few years had been spent dealing with the anger issues that had emerged after school.
“You know, Note, I have a song that I’ve been writing, that I’d like you to hear.” You nod slowly before you answer.
“Yeah, didn’t I see you working on it in the kitchen?”
“Yes, you did. I still haven’t finished it, but I think that I want to improvise the lyrics, rather than try to think up something deep and poetic. I know the tune well enough, so I think that I can work the words in.”
“If you’re sure, Vinyl, than we can head back to my place and listen to it.” The mare just blushed a bit before she smiled at you.
“I’d like that.”
Vinyl slowly put her finishing touches on the piece before she started actually playing the music.
(In case you missed it, the lyrics in this are sung by Vinyl.)
As the final notes echoed away into silence, you approached the mare who was looking down at the floor. At your approach, she looked up at you, and you smiled at her. You gave her a quick kiss before you spoke.
“Thank you.”
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Seemed a bit weird how it played out when he saw the bruises.
"Oh, your coltfriend beat you, whatever."
That's just how it seemed to me.
I'll second UnintentionalMishap- I'd say a bit more angry response would be in order....
Honestly though, for an 'off' chapter, I thought it was amazing. I feel your pain when being 'out of the groove'
Only thing I realized: So Note's dad pulls the not-so-cool 'she's a whore' comment....
Then Vinyl tells Note that the stallions who were only interested in her flank bolted when she refused.
0_o
Mixed messages? Or is Note's dad just being an assuming *fill in expletive here*
Winging it? Sounds like me!
Link to song is Brocken.
Well someone's got to start the clap sssooo I guess I'll begin it (clap…clap…clap…clapclapclapclap)
Pretty good for a 'just something to put up' chapter loved it
Er... Is your author's note asking for reader feedback? Not completely sure what you're expecting people to do
Great chapter, but i agree with the others when theysay that note didnt seem to care as mich as expected to the reveal of vinyl's coltfriend beating her. Also, nice choice of music, but i personally would have chosen the kaskade and deadmau5 version of that song. Much better in my opinion
Vinyl is best pony.
Nuff said
MOAR!
If this is "winging it", then I can't wait to see what happens when you find your inspiration again!!!
And I hope the next thing "I" do is report this ass hat stallion to the authorities!!!
Throwing all manor of crap at th' wall to see what sticks. Sometimes that is th' best thing an author can do.
Same issue for me
"I have a history of anger management problems, and somepony just beat the shit out of the mare i love. Huh. Wanna split a salad?"
Come on guys what would you expect Note to say about Vinyl's coltfriend beating her? Aside from the anger issues anyway.
Focusing on it would just make her feel worse, and its not like he could do anything but patch her up anyway.
I really think note would be more angry like to the point of grabbing a knife cutting up that colt.
But the rest seems really good
This is gold I guess when insperation hits you make platinum eh?
I would have done the EXACT same thing.
And just like the other stories that involved music characters you put music into this one, (although when they do it they don't put the video in the story, they just put in a link that will take them to the song.)
At first I was like
th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/076/8/2/vssad_by_thatsgrotesque-d4t0yze.png
But then I was like
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/167/3/0/vinyl_scratch_found_you__by_bronyman1995-d53pawr.png
Jet Howitzer
I have some suggestions for you, both my own, and the rest of the audience's. If you think that I am commanding you with the power of the viewers top do stuff you don't want to, THINK AGAIN. I am simply giving my input. Without further ado:
1. Introduce the coltfriend to the picture, or it ends up being somewhat like this "oh your coltfriend beat you, whatever"
1874428 thanks for that^
2. Put in confrontation (verbal, not physical) between Vinyl and Note's father.
1874437 thanks, I kinda realized this when i read your comment^
3. I personally think you should bring in Octavia, just because Octavia is awesome, or write a fic about her. AGAIN: I am not commanding, I am asking. If you don't think this is a good idea, DON'T DO IT.
4. I WILL edit this comment later as new comments come in. No I am not taking requests, whoever asked me last time should write their own damn comment.
- DragonBornIdentity
Stop trying, this chapter is great no need for a rewrite, just write what comes to you and don't force it. I'm sure it'll turn out great. Looking forward to more.
Sincerely;
The Fictional Critic.
excellently done .. i cant wait for more to come .. and i love this particular tune .. always makes me wish i could find a girl as well ....
Utterly fantastic. great chapter, great fiction, excellent choice of song.
you never cease to amaze Jet, never.
Awesome Chapter!
I can totally see this. I can connect with Pure Note now. If he's anything like me, he would have a compassionate moment, but if the idiot crossed his path in the next day or so... Well, there would be consequences.
Why do I get the feeling Pure Note's dad is the former boyfriend?
W>>1879311 Why?! Why must you toy with my feels?!
1874645 iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/131767766930.gif?1318143728
@Jet- Well…I've been anxiously awaiting the 'Complete' status, and yet...There is none. I understand that such amazing writing must take a lot of time, and I really appreciate all the hard work that great writers like you put into your works...
And I'd like to point something out. I'm not trying to be rude, or anything like that, but on your profile page it says very clearly that every story in...ONE of the boxes, is complete except for Fonder Words, and Fireflies. I'm not sure if I'missing something here, or if it was just a mistake...Regardless, just know that I'm patiently waiting for updates!
N0W F0R 50M3 1337-5P35K!!! 1'LL 4LW4Y5 L0V3 Y0UR WR171N6, J37!
Getting to the "vid"(song) I was like :O
wellp here's hoping that the dreaded writers block doesn't plague you again
Hmmm I seem to remember something you (note) thought, something about vinyl not being able to sing worth shit? I abhor that comment, the person who voices her is an excellent singer (unless it turns out it was digitally altered)
Keep up the good work, looking from your side of the fence; keep up the cliffhangers; looking from my point of view I'm like fuuuuu
Best wishes and the best of luck!
Hurrah for having no fucking clue!
Heyyy you should finish this.
2757717 Yeah, probably. Maybe I'll see about writing some more in the coming days.
2394525
I Beg your Pardon, good Sir?
Hoping to see an update soon on this. I want to see how it pans out.
2758734. Maybe? Maybe?! MAYBE?!?!? YOU BETTER I mean um.. if that's okay with you?
Oh yes also when or good and ready, that's when the seed sprouts, wouldn't want any less from your talent.
1874428. Vinyl did something to her coat to show her bruises didn't she?
It is such a shame that Jet stopped writting these stories. He had the best talent when it came to second person stories.