First attempt at a "Second Person" romance story! (Starring You and Rainbow Dash)
You thought living in the big city had everything a pony could ask for. But it wasn't to you. All you got was; cramped apartments, traffic, trash everywhere, and bird poop. Bird poop everywhere. But luckily for you, fortune shined upon you, as your foalhood friend Twilight Sparkle opens her house for you to live in. So you did what any pony with self-respect would do: Pack up and move. You've heard about ponies who move there to relax, so you say "So long Manehattan!" and begin your way to Ponyville.
Author's Note:
Constructive criticism is always appreciated here! Also, I do apologize if the story is a little shaky at first, I'm coming off a huge writer's block.
nice start but why does dash keep saying "dude" so often? still, a good start from my point of view, keep it up
1560425
Well, that's how I think of Dash sometimes. But thanks for the comment!
1560437
no worries
CAAAN'T WAAAIT
TO REAAAAD
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE
GREAT start, I want to see how it turns out
GREAT
Following
my pony + rainbow dash = AWESOME NESS
Thanks for all the positive feedback! I really appreciate all of it!
1561316
If my schoolwork doesn't get in the way, I'll probably have it up on Saturday.
Humm not mad but a little rushed. if you want this to be really good slow it down some
1566509
Thanks! I'll see what I can do.
Awesome, can't wait to read more
Pretty cool!
MOAR!!!
Oh cool I can't wait for next chapter.
hmmmmmmmmmmmm well then....i'll have to wait.
When is the new chapter?