Tsuyu Asui is a student at U.A. High School, an academy that trains its students to become professional super heroes. Her quirk or super power is that she can do anything that a frog can do. Now what will this froggy heroine do once she finds herself in a magical land filled with talking ponies?
Not a bad start, hope to be able to read more.
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I'm glad you liked it
Also, I'm open for suggestions and constructive criticisms. So I'm all ears if you have any ideas/tips on how I could improve the story or on which direction I could take it moving forward.
I'm all ears for constructive criticisms and for suggestions on what should happen next.
We need more of this please
11439777
You got it
I'm writing a chapter as we speak.
Shouldn't there be a fair bit of blood? And a trail thereof?
could of been a little bit more fleshed out but over all good
11440037
OMG, you're right😱
Looks like I forgot how bleeding works. Assuming I knew how they worked to begin with😅
11440075
I'll try to flesh things out more in the next chapter.
11440077
I would assume that such bleeding would've given her away even while camouflaged due to the scent, and the trail
11440084
Well..... even if I was mindful of the bleeding, I think the result would've been the same. Which is Tsuyu getting discovered by the ponies. What do you think?
11440102
ultimately yes, just keep such things in mind in the future
11440245
Will do
11439673
This has potential to be a lot better so here are a few notes:
I hope this helps.
11440574
1- Yeah, I see what you mean. I was trying to make the first chapter as interesting as possible, and I thought that rushing to the most interesting part of the crossover (Mane Six meet "guest" character) would be a good move. I'll try to slow down a bit in the next chapter.
2- I thought my description in the "long description" would be sufficient. I will try to reveal more about Tsuyu in the second chapter.
3- Funny thing is, I thought about making Tsuyu believe that she was under the effect of a hallucination quirk, but I abandoned that idea because getting injured would immediately debunk the hallucination theory. And also because I think it would be more realistic for Tsuyu to assume she was teleported, because she was teleported before by Kurogiri.
"she could be in a town where all residents have a quirk that make them appear like ponies"
That's a pretty good idea. I'll try implementing it in the second chapter. Maybe I'll make Tsuyu rethink her conclusion. I'll try to see if I can figure out a way to make it work.
Don't worry, it did help
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Good luck
Here it is! The second chapter! Enjoy!
As always, I'm all ears for suggestions.
So far so good
Looking pretty good actually
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Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.
I've been giggling like a child the whole time reading this! And dude! I've got embarrassed for the behalf of Asui! Twilight you're a lunatic..(・・;)
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I'm glad that you enjoyed this crossover
And that's one of the reasons why I really like Twilight Sparkle. Despite her intelligence, diligence and desire to do what is right, she can still screw things up and that's what makes her interesting in my opinion.
Tru tho-
11683293
LOL, totally
Looking good!
The episode I've beeen waiting for! (*^▽^)/★*☆♪
No worries, though. Your grade so far:rlv.zcache.com/obama_not_bad_meme_rage_face_comic_card-r4d8a95fdc45645e69d165cd13a722464_xvuak_8byvr_512.jpg