I'm hooked. You made a very well balanced world for the story while leaving us to wonder how delicate is Anon's happy life. There's enough serious for a real legal system in place but still has that silliness of the show being present. So I eagerly await the next release.
Although, we won't have to wait so long as we did for this chapter, will we? I honestly thought the story got dropped months ago.
11676704 Ah I see. Well, stay tuned for the next update. It's gonna get...spicey.
11676725 Thank you! Yes, the basics of the world building are there. I think that's one of the reasons MLP is great for fanfic material, there's plenty of room for writing and expanding. Best part? It's free, not EA DLCs to buy.
The legal system? Oh, you'll eventually see how that works, alright. And it's gonna get REALLY messy.
Man… I don’t read much M Rated stories but this definitely is a story that’s going to be really hard for Anon to learn the truth… like his wife guilt is catching up to her now and it seems like their daughter figured things out months ago while Anon is clueless…
I have a feeling his “best friend” is part of the problem which has me wondering… why didn’t the potion work when they bought it? Like they had to have bought better qualities over time for the other children to be born unless his wife never drink it?
I don’t think there would be a divorce… at least let the kids still see the grandparents.
11676787 All of these questions are going to get answered. I've left subtle clues here and there about how things unfold the way they do.
And yeah, that's how these things happen in life as well. Ancestry tests, children overhearing things, etc. That's all gonna be explored and were gonna see things unfold but with an Equestrian view. And yeah, that portion thing will be explained alright.
11677307 Great very happy :D to be honest, his daughter kinda traped him to promise without telling him the problem unless the daughter is talking about some other stuff otherwise cant wait for next chapter
11677403 Don't be harsh on her. She's just as much of a victim as Anonymous. She just doesn't want her family to break up or lose her daddy. She's in a tough spot and doesn't really know what to do.
Well this is definitely an interesting story you've got here. Consider it both liked and followed.
I'm almost afraid to see how bad things are going to get when the truth comes out. At least, Copper Top will be there to provide Anon with the very much needed emotional support in the aftermath.
Although, I do have to wonder what his kids are going to think of her, especially Glisten Sheen. She's already tearing herself up inside with worry and fear. So I wouldn't be surprised if she'll initially be incredibly hostile towards Copper Top because she'll believe that Copper will try to convince Anon to not have anything to do with her anymore because she's technically not his daughter.
11743873 I'm glad I got your attention with this story. I figured something like this wasn't exlpored often enough. I'm dipping into drama territory and to show that Equestria has it's flaws just like any other place on Earth (though, some others pretend it's paradise!).
I have about 2k written on the next update so far. I'm hoping to release next weekend.
nice work, i fear this attempt of copper might backfire. but nice touch on the star wars reference
11676697
Why do you think it will backfire?
11676698
well, in terms of reactions, like causing a feeling of betrayl
I'm hooked.
You made a very well balanced world for the story while leaving us to wonder how delicate is Anon's happy life.
There's enough serious for a real legal system in place but still has that silliness of the show being present. So I eagerly await the next release.
Although, we won't have to wait so long as we did for this chapter, will we? I honestly thought the story got dropped months ago.
11676704
Ah I see. Well, stay tuned for the next update. It's gonna get...spicey.
11676725
Thank you! Yes, the basics of the world building are there. I think that's one of the reasons MLP is great for fanfic material, there's plenty of room for writing and expanding. Best part? It's free, not EA DLCs to buy.
The legal system? Oh, you'll eventually see how that works, alright. And it's gonna get REALLY messy.
Man… I don’t read much M Rated stories but this definitely is a story that’s going to be really hard for Anon to learn the truth… like his wife guilt is catching up to her now and it seems like their daughter figured things out months ago while Anon is clueless…
I have a feeling his “best friend” is part of the problem which has me wondering… why didn’t the potion work when they bought it? Like they had to have bought better qualities over time for the other children to be born unless his wife never drink it?
I don’t think there would be a divorce… at least let the kids still see the grandparents.
11676787
All of these questions are going to get answered. I've left subtle clues here and there about how things unfold the way they do.
And yeah, that's how these things happen in life as well. Ancestry tests, children overhearing things, etc. That's all gonna be explored and were gonna see things unfold but with an Equestrian view. And yeah, that portion thing will be explained alright.
Expect Copper Top to do some sleuthing.
Nice can't wait for the family drama or maybe it's a conspiracy?
11676796
You're gonna get both
11676740
Sure Thing
ok, i'm hooked. DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE US HANGING!
i just hope Anon is not a doormat and lets just everyone walk over him would ruin the story for me :/
11677011
I'm not gonna let it die. This story will be completed, that I promise.
11677292
Anonymous is an Chad. He's fit, wealthy, driven to success. He's NOT a weakling. I will never promote beta behavior in my stories.
11677307
Great very happy :D to be honest, his daughter kinda traped him to promise without telling him the problem unless the daughter is talking about some other stuff otherwise cant wait for next chapter
11677403
Don't be harsh on her. She's just as much of a victim as Anonymous. She just doesn't want her family to break up or lose her daddy. She's in a tough spot and doesn't really know what to do.
Well this is definitely an interesting story you've got here. Consider it both liked and followed.
I'm almost afraid to see how bad things are going to get when the truth comes out. At least, Copper Top will be there to provide Anon with the very much needed emotional support in the aftermath.
Although, I do have to wonder what his kids are going to think of her, especially Glisten Sheen. She's already tearing herself up inside with worry and fear. So I wouldn't be surprised if she'll initially be incredibly hostile towards Copper Top because she'll believe that Copper will try to convince Anon to not have anything to do with her anymore because she's technically not his daughter.
11743873
I'm glad I got your attention with this story. I figured something like this wasn't exlpored often enough. I'm dipping into drama territory and to show that Equestria has it's flaws just like any other place on Earth (though, some others pretend it's paradise!).
I have about 2k written on the next update so far. I'm hoping to release next weekend.
And you will see....