A man cursed to forever walk the earth enters an eternal sleep, only to wake when he hears a call for help from an innocent. He does when the mane six go off to find the elements of harmony, he helps them with their adventures always protecting them and eventually becomes a very dear friend to one.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Glad to see this here I've been following it on fanfic. To all who see this, read on, it's worth it.
I'm hesitant to read this due to the description. You're trying to cram too much information into too short a description and it becomes a bit of a turnoff because of it. But, I'll read it later. I hope my suspicions prove incorrect.
This is awsome can't wait for more
Good to see a writer with a head full of ideas!
Keep doing awsome!
Hmmm... Thumbs are split currently. And that Slendy image (*Girly scream of fright* SLENDERMAN!!!), has me on edge.
I'll be checking this later.
Poor guy got impaled.Can't wait for the chapters to come!
I dub thee Gary Stu Steel. Enjoyable none the less, aside from a *tiny* grammatical quibble. (The respective names of a group of ponies would be "the ponies' names," while the multiple names for a single pony would be "the pony's names.")
I am looking forward to Steel Guard's development into a deeper character as this story progresses.
Okay, first chapter. Three things need work.
The first is you need to format your story. Several paragraphs are clumped together and it becomes difficult to rad after long intervals. Granted, this is short, but still, it's good form to do so. Please, double space. No matter how short the pargraph is, even if only one sentence, please double space.
The second is this progresses really really fast. An entire world rises and falls before the intro is done. That's a lot of heavy stuff to go through. The problem steams into my third point.
I'm going to call this dude Chaken. We don't really know much about Chaken. Being only the first chapter, I'm not too picky, but recall point two. Chaken goes through a lot of stuff and, because we don't know the guy and can't get in his head, the events that occur to him don't hold much emotional weight. It's hard to identify with Chaken's trials if we can't get in his head. On another note, Chaken's abilities are very vague. This harms the story more than helps due to the entire world is created through his machinations. Plus, he has magic? How did he get that? That's important stuff to establish.
Oh, one more note. Put an Alternate Universe tag; you're tampering with events that are clearly not in the show.
You need an editor. I spy several speling and gramatical errors, and even a narrative switch at teh top of the page. Search in the groups for proofreaders. That's the best place to look.
Again, format your story.
Double check for spelling and grammar errors.
But the biggest point is Steel's character. Mary/Gary Stus are, in themselves bad. Their nature, however, can make them boring. If you don't provide good reasons for their purity of spiritand fortitude, their characters are easily mistaken as contrived and bland. They need good, and very good at that, reasons to be portrayed in such a light. His suffering needs to be shown. All you've been doing so far is just saying it in words. Readers need to feel it, not see it.
Must ....not....."Squee".Oh well i tried,good job mate!
Aaaand random unexplained time freeze seems a bit casually done
, Celestia is a bit out of character 
, aaaand random music 
. Less impressed by this chapter, just because it doesn't seem to have a whole lot of content except to introduce another OC, and to shout "hey look look this OC is awesome right?" 
so it is true... even God doesn't understand Pinkie
1334538 lol
If Steel *created* equestria shouldn't he be powerful enough to heal himself, re-size that guitar, and MUCH more?
1740721 Yes, but he hasn't used his powers in several MILLENNIA, so he's a little out of practice.
1740761 well if he's been asleep the entire time wouldn't it have only seemed like moments to him, AND skills or not he should still have his magical endurance/limit.
1740830 So you know my characters better than I do huh?
1740864 i'm just saying
1740872
Have you ever been in a magical slumber for several millenia? Who knows what that would do to your body and capabilities.
Neat story it okay just a doesn't have detail
Good work thought for the idea
Steel guard really that the best one you could come up with
2193954 it might make me sleepier... or VERY hungry