I sneak into a Lunarist prison to receive vital information from a pony from the past. Why is Equestria the way it is now, and what should we do about it?
Received an honorable mention at the 2022 Everfree Northwest "Iron Author" speedwriting competition. The prompt this year required that three themes be included: a gaffe, a guerilla, and a guru.
Thank you to the organizers and congratulations to the winners (unofficially documented here)! Also, thank you Mica for prereading and giving feedback.
Chapters (1)
This was an excellent glimpse into another "what-if" world of the MLP multiverse - and one that is canon, no less. The first part of this, I thought it was Celestia who was speaking, then I realized it was Rarity speaking, and then figured out "Oh yeah, Celestia's trapped on the moon right now and Rarity did appear in that timeline..." Clever, though. This could turn into a quite good longer fic, with your unnamed clerk assembling both Elements and Bearers to defeat Nightmare Moon and restore the Luna, and the timeline, that should have been.
Congrats on the honorable mention at Iron Author - glad I finally get a chance to read it!
Meh.
I worked out it was Rarity fairly quickly (well, put her down as a possible) but didn't connect it with the what-if world it belonged to for a while longer. Nicely done!
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I've been meaning to read your story as well 👀 though I haven't gotten around to it, Well, I did listen to it at Everfree, but I anticipate the experience of reading the fully-realized product will be a bit different.
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Thank you! If I had the ability to spoiler tags on this website I might have spoilered the Alt. Universe tag as well, which is the way the judges at Iron Author experienced it.
Though to be fair this gets revealed fairly quickly. The Rarity tag was important enough info to leave off of this story entirely.
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The real Big Reveal will be "Who is doing the looking?"
This was a pretty good story, especially considering its a speedwrite. You have a lot of good, interesting story elements thrown in that really give it some oompf. At the same time, there's a lot of expodumping that's not that interesting to read, since we already knew that information. I agree with the judges that this feels like a tiny slice of a larger story. If you had added a bit more on when you were editing this, I think it would have been significantly improved.