Leave it to Princess Celestia
CHAPTER 6 - Leave it to Princess Celestia
Several ponies stood outside of the Ponyville Library angered by it being closed for two days straight. Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack were all trying their hardest to come up with a good story…
“Why on Earth would Twilight Sparkle close this library for two days just to throw a party?!” asked one male pony.
“Yeah, I have several books that were due yesterday and now I’ve been charged extra for having to keep them longer!” said a female pony.
“Look everypony, we understand ya’ll ain’t too happy ‘bout this…” Applejack explained, “…but Twilight has a very good reason for closin’ the library, alright?”
“Then tell us this reason!”
“She’s uh……she’s……uh…………”
“She’s sick.” Fluttershy finished.
“Oh my, yes, very sick!” said Rarity, “So sick she couldn’t even come out! She was afraid her illness would spread!”
“Yeah, we’re guessin she ate too much junk food after that party…” Applejack said.
“Well why was she throwing a party here in the first place?!” asked a pony.
“She was………uh………happy?”
“Well that explains a lot!” said one rather disgruntled pony in a sarcastic manner.
“Yeah, and how come Pinkie Pie, of all ponies, then came in and did the total opposite of what she would usually do and shooed them all away?” said another.
“They were roleplaying, everypony.” said Fluttershy.
“Roleplaying?”
“Yes, roleplayin! To…you know……try to figure out who they really are?” Applejack added.
“You ponies are lying to us! We can see it in your eyes!” said the angry pony
“We’re wasting our time arguing with them, everypony! Maybe we should go get the Mayor, she’ll know how to deal with this!” said another.
“MAYOR?!? Oh no, please no Mayor, ponies, this ain’t that big of a deal!” Applejack pleaded, but several of the ponies had already left to go find the Mayor. “We are all of us so doomed right now…”
Peachy Pie was watching from behind a nearby building. She had just heard of what happened in the library and knew very well what was going on. Her parents hadn’t heard yet though and she was worried about what might happen once they found out.
“This is so bad…” she said to herself. “I never should have let Pinkie make Twilight use that spell! Now she’ll never go back to her normal self. What am I to do? And worst is that she’s still in that library trying to figure out how to undo it but all of Ponyville is already in an uproar and she’s having her friends lie for her! She’s gotta tell the truth here soon. I gotta go get Mom and Dad; they’re the only ones who can talk some sense into her! Hang in there, Sissy Pie, help is on the way!” She then galloped away to her house to find her parents and get them to talk to Pinkie.
Meanwhile at the library, Pinkie, Twilight and Spike all snuck out of the back of the library from a door the public didn’t know about. Pinkie was very stressed and had practically already given up on finding a solution.
“It’s over, Twilight…we’re never going to find a way to fix this…” she said sadly.
“We’ll find a way somehow Pinkie…” said Twilight trying to cheer her up.
“Well if we ever did, it’s gonna take a while and the town is never gonna forget this… I’d hate to see how the Mayor will react to this.”
“Do you really think the Mayor will have Twilight fired and replaced?” asked Spike.
“I dunno, but it’s possible……I’ve ruined everything. I’ve ruined my own personality along with Twilight’s, and now I’ve ruined her career…”
“Pinkamena Diane Pie…” said a voice from behind.
Pinkie gasped as she saw both of her parents walking towards her with Peachy by them. She quickly messed up her bangs to hide her horn and put on her best smile.
“OH, MOM, DAD!! Hey guys…how…how are you?!”
“Pinkie, we know about what happened.” said her father.
“You…you do?”
“I’m sorry, Sis, I had to tell them, they’re your parents, they gotta know.” said Peachy.
Pinkie finally gave in and showed them her horn. “Are you guys really angry at me?”
“Not at all, Pinkie.” said her father.
“Pinkie, look, we understand if perhaps you might have wanted to change a bit…” said her mother. “…but please know that your father, sisters, and I all love you for the way you still are. When you brought joy to our family years ago, we all finally knew what it meant to be happy. You were the source of our joy and the reason we all get along now.”
“Your mother is right, Pinkie. You shouldn’t change who you are just to please others.”
“But I just wanted to make a better impression on the Cakes.” Pinkie started saying, “I thought they were really disappointed with me. Well now we all know how well it went. All I wanted to do was to have Twilight here use a spell, but it turned out the spell wasn’t as trustworthy as we expected. Now we’re stuck in each other’s bodies practically and I can’t find a way to fix it! And now everything is a wreck!”
“Pinkie, you’ll find a way, but I think it’s time the ponies of this town got to hear some honesty from you.” said her father.
“That’s right, Sis, you can’t tell anymore lies about this; you need to let them all know the truth.” said her sister.
Pinkie stood and thought for a minute. If they both got back to normal, it would be fine, but the town would not forgive them too easily unless she explained up front what the meaning was of all this. The only way to take care of it would be to tell the truth as soon as possible…
“Mom, Dad, you guys are absolutely right. The truth will set us free, so I have to tell them!” she said.
“That’s my big sister!” said Peachy Pie hugging her.
“You’re gonna wanna hurry in time for the Mayor to hear it, Pinkie!” said Spike pointing to the left at the Mayor walking towards the front of the library with several other ponies.
“OH SHOOT, SHE’S HERE!! Ok Mom and Dad, thank you guys so much for helping me with this!” she said hugging them both around the necks. “I’ll be back soon, now let’s hope they all listen!”
The Mayor made her way through the crowd in front of the library to talk to the three ponies keeping guard. “Ponies, what is going on here? What’s this I hear about Twilight Sparkle throwing a party here and now everypony is complaining about her closing it down and now it seems you are all keeping secrets of her dealings in there?”
“Secrets? We aren’t keeping any secrets……hehehe…” said Rarity sweating.
“Yes we are.” said Pinkie Pie opening the door and coming out. The whole crowd gasped as they saw her horn.
“Pinkie Pie, why on Earth do you have a horn?” asked the Mayor.
“Look everypony, this whole mess is my fault. A couple days ago, I went through a bit of a phase and I was disappointed with myself and thought I could work harder at my job, so I asked Twilight to use this powerful spell on me to make me better. But something went totally wrong she ended up switching our personalities…....and……switching the horn too.” Pinkie then used her magic to lift Twilight’s fake ice cream cone horn off of her forehead to show everyone. The ponies gasped even louder at this sight. “She meant to just change me, but we switched places basically and it was supposed to last only one day, but I guess the spell wasn’t handled properly and now I can’t find a way to switch us back. I had Twilight close the library cuz I didn’t want her running it in this state and I didn’t want anyone to know about this, but she got excited and threw a party here like I would have done if I were in charge and I’ve been sitting in there trying to find a way to change us back but I failed. It’s all my fault that this happened. I never should have made Twilight use that spell which was too powerful for her to handle in the first place, and I never should have kept it all a secret and have my friends lie to you. I accept whatever punishment I deserve, but I ask that you not do anything to Twilight, she didn’t mean for this to happen, and I was the one who made her use the spell…”
The whole crowd stood pondering what Pinkie had said for a while. The Mayor seemed to understand.
“Well Pinkie…” she started saying, “…now that I know what really happened, I guess I can’t just punish you or Twilight when all you wanted to do was be different, but I sure hope you learned your lesson.”
“Completely Ma’am. Thank you for understanding. I promise I won’t let this happen again. I didn’t think it would lead to such mayhem, but I really should have just been thankful for the way things were before. And Twilight…” Pinkie said turning to her friend, “…I know I kinda ruined things for you, but I want you to know I’m never gonna try something like this again. It’s too risky, and I shouldn’t have coaxed you into using that dangerous spell. I know we can find a way to unswitch, but for now, we’ll both probably have to live like this for a while. I hope you can forgive me…”
Twilight took a bit of a pause and then smiled and spoke, “I forgive you Pinkie. This was kinda sorta my fault too, you know. I should have been more careful with the library and listened to you. Until we find the cure, I’ll be more careful. Thanks.” she leaned over and hugged Pinkie, but then her tail started twitching. “Uh oh, it’s the twitchy tail again!!”
“Ah great. Cover your heads everypony!” said Pinkie sarcastically.
“Uh girls, look!” said Spike pointing to the sky. “Is that’s what’s falling, Twilight?”
Princess Celestia glided down gently towards the back of the crowd with Rainbow Dash by her side.
“PRINCESS!!” shouted Twilight joyfully as she ran to greet her teacher. The Princess was glad to see her, but she seemed horrified at the sight of Twilight missing her horn.
“Twilight……your horn really is gone!” she said.
“Yeah……hehe…kinda a long story.”
“Princess…” said Pinkie Pie walking towards her through the crowd. “How did you find out?”
“Rainbow Dash told me. I was worried once I heard, so I decided I would come and help.”
“Sorry, Pinkie. I knew this was the only way to do it so I thought getting her would be the best idea.” explained Rainbow Dash.
“So you can undo this spell then Princess?” asked Pinkie.
“I certainly can. But might I ask why you had Twilight use that spell in the first place?”
Pinkie bowed her head and prepared herself to explain. “I wasn’t doing to great at work the other day, and Mr. and Mrs. Cake scolded me for my behavior. After hearing them, I just had this unusual feeling come over me that I’ve never felt before. I just……I wasn’t happy with myself. I wanted to change and be more of a studious and hardworking pony like Twilight is, so that’s why I asked her to use the spell on me. I’m so sorry about all this, Princess…”
“I should have been a bit more cautious as well. That spell isn’t a very good spell to be using, not even for someone of Twilight’s skill. It’s dangerous and the book doesn’t even explain it too well. I don’t even believe many ponies have successfully used it before, it’s been forgotten by most unicorns, but I ignored the fact that it must have been in that book and I should have warned Twilight about it.”
“So……I used a bad spell?” Twilight asked.
“Yes, a spell that really should be taken out of the books. There really is no use for it anymore. And Pinkie Pie, remember that using a spell like that still isn’t going to help you with your personality entirely. Look at what it’s let happen. Anypony could change if they so desire, but it is best not to change unless you have a problem.”
“Well, I did have a problem, but I just wasn’t sure how to deal with it…” Pinkie said.
“If you were that discouraged, Pinkie, you should have talked to us then.” said Mr. Cake from behind.
“OH, MR. CAKE!” Pinkie said surprised. “Guys, you heard?”
“We heard enough…” said Mrs. Cake. “Pinkie, we didn’t like the way you were eating our treats at the Corner, but we weren’t totally disappointed with you, we just wanted you to shape up a bit.”
“That’s right.” continued Mr. Cake. “You didn’t have to just go and change yourself completely, we just wanted a bit of an attitude adjustment, not this right here.”
“I should have thought about that more thoroughly then…” said Pinkie looking down. “Well, Princess, I’m ready to go back to my normal self. I don’t really like how things have gone since this happened, and I actually want my old self back. This new Pinkie is just too dramatic and obsessed with order and books and stuff……no offense to you Twilight.”
“It’s ok Pinkie. I kinda wanna go back to my normal self too. If you’re not happy, then I’m not happy either.” Twilight responded.
“Well girls, I’m ready to switch you both back. You’ll have your memories of this event and all, but your instincts will return and you’ll have the same mindset you had before. Are you both ready?”
“Most definitely, Princess. And will I have still learned from this?” asked Pinkie.
“Your feelings about this event will not change, and you will learn your lesson, Child. So let this be a lesson…a lesson to us all…”
Celestia’s horn then started glowing and Twilight and Pinkie quickly floated a few feet off the ground. Their bodies glowed with light and there was a zap of electricity between them and a bright explosion of light like before. The Princess barely even showed any signs of effort in doing this; she had been around so long and had learned so much magic that it was nothing to her. Within a matter of seconds, the spell was broken and Twilight and Pinkie both gently floated back to the ground. Twilight had her horn back and they both opened their eyes slowly.
“MY……MY HORN! I HAVE MY HORN AGAIN!!!” shouted Twilight reaching up and touching her horn with her hoof.
“YAAAAAY, I’M ME AGAIN!!” Pinkie squealed in joy while bouncing in circles around Twilight and Celestia as all the ponies watching stomped their hooves on the ground in applause. Finally Pinkie stopped and looked at Twilight and the Princess. “I’m really sorry about this you guys. I won’t ever do it again. I’m fine the way I am, I just gotta not eat the treats and just use my head from now on. I think I’ve already learned enough of all this serious bu-derious stuff already and I know what I need to do!”
“So what have you learned today, Pinkie?” the Princess asked her.
“I’ve learned that you should never change just to please others and should be thankful for who you are. And I also learned that I don’t need to change into a serious bu-derious pony to just simply obey the rules Mr. and Mrs. Cake make, I just gotta listen to em! And guys…” she said turning to the Cakes, “I promise I will never eat another treat unless it belongs to me! NEVER!” she said putting her hoof in the air.
“We forgive you, Pinkie.” said Mr. Cake patting her on the back. “We’re proud of you for learning your lesson and we’re still glad to have you at Sugarcube Corner!”
“Aw thanks you guys!” Pinkie said hugging them both tightly.
“Pinkamena Diane Pie, your father and I are proud of you as well!” said her mother coming over to her.
“And don’t you ever change like that again, Sis! It’s great to have you back!” said Peachy rushing over to her sister and hugging her.
While Pinkie’s family and the cakes were talking, Princess Celestia turned to her faithful student to hear her friendship report. “And Twilight, what have you learned today about friendship?”
“Well, I learned that it’s a lot wiser to help your friends without cheating and using a magic spell to get the job done. It’s never a good idea to use magic to solve problems that can be solved by simply confronting them yourself or getting someone’s advice. And like Pinkie said, you should always be who you are, and not change to please others. Especially not when using a super dangerous magic spell that can lead to problems. Which reminds me Princess…” Twilight then used her magic to lift the book out of her library nearby and it floated over the crowd towards them and she handed it to the Princess. “…I appreciate that you lent me this book, but after seeing what happened with that one spell, I think I feel I’m not quite ready to read this book just yet. Perhaps another day…”
“You’re right, Twilight. This book is a bit too advanced for you right now. I’ll go return it to my library up in Canterlot and probably remove the pages that contain that spell; it is far too dangerous and uncouth. But you let me know when you’re ready to start reading it.”
“Okay Princess. Thanks.”
Mrs. Cake then brought over one of the cherry bunt cakes for Pinkie that she made yesterday.
“Here, Pinkie, since you’ve done the right thing and learned a valuable lesson, we’ve decided to let you have a free cake as a reward.” said Mr. Cake.
“Oh, you mean it? I have your permission?” Pinkie asked to make sure it was ok.
“Yup, it’s all yours!”
“OH MY GOODNESS!” she screamed, “I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVEN’T EATEN ANY SWEETS EVER SINCE I CHANGED!!! OH I CAN’T WAIT TO DIG INTO THIS DELICIOUSLY DELITEFUL DESSERT!!!” she then dropped her face down at high speeds into the cake and icing splattered on everypony’s face that was close to her. She chomped away at the cake until there wasn’t a single crumb left. “MMMM, THAT WAS TASTY! Oops, sorry everyone…” she said looking around.
Everyone was silent until Peachy spoke up.
“Like I said, good to have you back, Sissy Pie!” she stated all the ponies laughed hysterically.
THE END
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So this is on FiMFiction now? That's cool. I was too lazy to read the whole thing on DeviantArt for some reason that even I don't know, but now I think I might check it out.
1309062 Is that your take on the story or just Twilight's reaction?
1309085
Oh, I'm just relating comments to the chapters that I read.
It has nothing to do with how I feel about the story as a whole.
1309150 Oh okay. Well this is my first pony fic so it's not too well written...
1309219 Which chapter?
1309288 I'm not sure how that means you dont' need to read it...
All right, now I'll express what I think about the whole thing.
That was certainly a fun read. I mean really anything supernatural can be turned into a good story if utilized correctly.
I wasn't really sure about the chapter after the prologue where Mr. and Mrs. Cake referred to each other by "Mr." and "Mrs." rather than "Carrot Cake" and "Cup Cake", but meh. That's a small nitpick.
The moral at the end was okay. I didn't see anything outright wrong with it.
It's nice to see something like this instead of dark and sad stories all the time on this site.
I think I'll let someone else pick apart the grammatical errors since I couldn't find any that were overtly distracting.
You said this was a first pony fic? It's pretty darn good for a first try.
1309327 I think I made this before I knew their canon first names.
Yeah, I don't go for the dark and sad and I certainly don't do any sexual or violent stuff. My fics usually stay canon but if there are fanon things, they are usually ones that make sense or are just good ideas I had like Peachy Pie being Pinkie's sister. Oddly enough, Peachy being her sister was one of the reasons it got turned down when submitted to the pre-readers on EqD...
Okay, I finished reading, and while the story is incredibly fun to read, there are a few things about the plot I can't get over; most of it isn't because of bad writing, it's because it's completely contradicted by canon.
First of all, Peachie Pie. She isn't orange, she's yellow. I have proof: she was in the episode "Show Stoppers". When Cheerilee gave out the prizes, she called her name and she ran up to her. Personally, I don't like the idea of Peachie being Pinkie's sister, but that' mostly a personal preference. Come to think of it, if Peachie was Pinkie's little sister, then Pinkie would have had more babysitting experience and woudn't have been so clueless in "Baby Cakes". Maybe not enough experience to have made much of a difference, but still...
Second, Pinkie doesn't have this personality problem in canon. She's not stupid. She knows where the line is with her hyperactivity and is very careful not to cross it. It's one of the few things she is careful with. You've made her personality a little more extreme than it is in the show.
Third: Pinkie, Mr Cake, and Mrs. Cake are the only ponies who work at Sugar Cube Corner; there are no other employees. It's too small for them to hire additional workers.
I'm a little iffy about her parents being in Ponyville; they don't seem like the type who would move from rock farming, but their presence doesn't actually contradict anything, so I'll chalk that up to personal preference.
Calling in Celestia to fix the problem is overdone in fanfics, as it's an example of deus ex machina (basically, a cop-out for authors who can't think of a good way to wrap things up). However, I liked this story enough to forgive the cliché this time.
Once I got to where they actually switched, it was all smooth sailing from then on out. Other than contradicting canon, you've done a nice job with this.
That was so awesome that it should be canon.
1309472 I knew what Peachy looked like, I think I meant to say yellow orange or I might have been talking about her hair or her coat in contrast to her hair color. And this was made in May 2011 before Baby Cakes aired and therefore before I would ever know PInkie would have to do the challenge of babysitting therefore this doesn't apply. Plus I would imagine Pinkie didnt' get to spend much time with her as a baby cuz her parents took care of her mainly and she'd be busy with her job. Does it seem okay that I made Peachy her sister though? Cuz EqD's pre-readers turned it down for that reason which is kinda stupid cuz there are a bunch of fanfics on that site have completely fanon ideas in them and they get featured still.
Perhaps I overdid her personality 'problem' but you gotta understand that this was before season 2 even came out and we didn't know the characters that much then. And this could be taking place during season 1 so try to think within that timeline. The thing that caused me to want to write a story about Pinkie learning this lesson was that I was surprised at how the Cakes put up with her just eating all that food in Swarm of the Century without actually speaking up. I thought she could have learned a lesson about respect and responsibility in this sense and she seems to be better about that currently in the show but we never really saw how it happened so this story is kind of like a filler-in for my head canon or at least most of it since I don't consider it my best fanfic nowadays.
I put other workers in there because I really don't see how just Pinkie and the Cakes can tackle that all together and Pinkie seems to have a lot of days off cuz we see plenty of her not working at the Corner so the Cakes would probably need help. I admit it is kind of contradictory to canon but not not a good reason for EqD to turn it down.
I didn't really think much about her parents when writing it and I don't actually recall saying they still lived in there. If they didn't live in Ponyville, I guess they'd live not too far away on the rock farm from before and just chose to come in the end to help give Pinkie some encouragement.
Celestia coming to fix the problem is an overdone thing in pony fics? Well I didn't know, I barely ever read any and the ones I have read never did that. I had her come because there was no other way it could be fixed and I wanted for Twilight and Pinkie to give their lesson to her in person and I wanted Twilight to give Celestia the book back. I also felt that Celestia doesn't get much of a chance to show her powers and her helping capabilities. After season 1 was finished, Celestia never really did much except be a supporting mother figure and teacher that just sat in the background and listened to the friendship reports so I guess I just wanted her to have greater importance this time around. My other fics don't do this to her though so this is the only one.
So it looks like most of my errors were due to the time in which this fic was written, between season 1 and 2. I should probably put a note in the description saying when this fic was written so people will know but thanks for the critique. :)
1309500 When did I say 'overlooked' wrong? Like what chapter was it in?
And the comma thing could be because Word never catches them (I type up my fics in MS Word and then copy and paste them onto here) and because I remember being taught to use commas in places like that although the sentence you used for example might be a mistake I made...
Its' okay, I didn't get the impression you didn't like it, you did good with your critique and pointed out a good thing with the comma issue. I'm working to do better writing so I can prepare for my even bigger fanfic projects to come.
1309715 Nah, it's not nearly that good enough. Maybe a few other fics of mine from recently since I'm getting better at writing them in the style the show has but I think I have a long ways to go before I write a fic that will be show-worthy...
1310165
I can see a concept like this working on the show.
1310170 The concept could work I guess but if they took this as a suggestion, they would have to change a LOT of things to make it more canon.
Stare at the image (The background). Mind = Broken.
1310135 It was rather obvious that this was written prior to season two. As for the employees, maybe we could just say they were a temporary thing; the Cakes needed some additional help due to an unusually large number of orders or something. That's a good workaround.
I didn't mean to say Celestia fixing things was necessarily a bad thing. In this particular instance, you managed to pull it off decently. I just thought you should know that it is normally cliché.
The EqD readers were probably thinking that Pinkie Pie canonically has only two sisters, so in their minds, having Peachy as her sister contradicts canon. They did not take age into account; as Pinkie's younger sister, and still a foal, she would have been born sometime after the events of her flashback in "The Cutie Mark Chronicles", and therefore would not be in it. In other words, they made a mistake. They goofed.
In "Swarm of the Century", she did indeed get rather carried away with the food. Plus there's the time in "A Bird in the Hoof" when she let herself get so excited, she stole the Princess's cupcake just as she was about to take a bite. With those scenes in mind, I can see where you're coming from with this. That makes it easier to accept, as her character was not yet fully developed back then. For all we know, she could very well have been that bad at some point.
Now that we've discussed it, this story doesn't seem quite as contradictory as it did before. Some of the plotholes have been filled in.
1311429
If I update, I might change it and say that the other ponies were voluntarily working there for help, but I still find it hard to believe the Cakes can really take care of that whole place with just Pinkie's help...
yes, that is the case, Peachy was born after Pinkie's flashback of getting her cutie mark. That could be the reason EqD didn't like it but it still is kinda odd to turn it down for that.
yeah, and I wanted people to read this fic to get a good idea of how she learned to be more respectful and not too rambunctious.
Thanks again for pointing things out. And how is the grammar and writing of this fic? Anything I need to change?
This is interesting, but I can see why EqD turned it down. It's not just that Peachy Pie is not supposed to be Pinkie's sister, it's that she added nothing to the story. If you removed her (and Pinkie's parents), what would really change? Not a lot besides a few bits of dialogue. It didn't help that you included a conversational exchange between the two sisters which basically boiled down to:
I don't really care about sudden OC siblings (
Hi, Shining Armor!) but it helps if they are better integrated into the plot. Maybe if Pinkie's unreliable personality was related to her family losing the rock farm and Peachy was worried about her sister but also resentful... Anyway, the story was okay but never really drew me in. You have quite a lot of punctuation and grammar errors: missing commas, periods that should be commas, misspelled words, misused words, etc. All of that was distracting and there was a constant sense that something momentous might happen...but it never did.
Sorry, it's late and I get a little negative when I'm tired. Despite all of this, you had a good concept and I can see that you put a lot of work in. At no point was it bad enough to make me stop reading; I still wanted to get to the ending. My advice is that you find a beta who you can trust to help you with the grammar/punctuation and keep at it.
1312200 I'm not sure were you are going with the thing with PInkie and Spike...
1311495 I didn't notice any errors. If there were any, they weren't major enough for me to remember. I'm rather obsessive-compulsive about many things, including grammar, so if there were such errors, I would have complained about it right away.
1312265
Sorry, I get less coherent later at night; I should have made my post clearer. It was about this part:
Well, there isn't a Peachy Pie emote, and I think mustache!Spike is cute.
“I sure hope so…” said Peachy dismally. “I wouldn’t want you to be like how you said our family was before I was born on that rock farm back then. I’m sure glad I was born after that time, a rock farm sounds boring!”
“Oh don’t worry, it won’t be that bad! Besides, everypony in our family is happy and joyful now because of me, they’d let me know when I get too serious.”
You should always avoid "as we all know" conversations if you can, by the way. Almost any other way to explain the altered back story would be preferable. Don't get too hung up on that, though; I used it as an example to show how the addition of Peachy to Pinkie's life ended up being both heavy-handed and distracting from the actual story. Besides explaining why Peachy is present, how does this exchange further the plot? It doesn't. How does Peachy existing further the plot? It doesn't. That's my best guess as to why Peachy was given as the reason your story was refused by EqD.
1315554 I am not sure I understand...
1315585
I'm sorry, I'm not sure how to explain more clearly. What part of it do you not understand?
1315602 The whole thing.
1315609
Hmm. Okay, that makes it tricky. How about this:
You do not need Peachy in this story. When you put something in a story which is not needed, it is distracting. For some people, distracting is equal to bad. You said, " Oddly enough, Peachy being her sister was one of the reasons it got turned down when submitted to the pre-readers on EqD..." I think that EqD rejected your story because they felt that adding her to the story was distracting from the actual plot and that the story was hurt by Peachy's existence. But I am guessing.
Does that make more sense?
1315634
I put her in not just because I thought the idea of them being sisters was cute but because I wanted her to act like the voice of reason in the beginning part although Pinkie didn't listen to her. Twilight was a voice of reason as well but Peachy added to it. She was just a little side character but she had a bit of importance.
1315657
Which is cool and totally your prerogative as the author. I apologize if I implied otherwise.
1319343 Its' not my best fanfic I admit. Not bad for my first pony fanfic but not the best. Things will change soon though...
It's always best to change yourself if you happen to be a flankhead though.
2621836 Where the hell did you ever get that idea? O__o
6685493 no it wasnt
Just like a regular episode
*reads summary*
Dear Celestia, no. Ponyville is doomed!
11124494
I know 😅
Dang that was a pretty crazy story and pretty sweet as well so it looks like Pinkie Pie and Twilight needs to go out try to figure out but unfortunately Pinkie giving up because she couldn't do the spell but it looks like peachy told her parents about what's going on and they want to reassure her daughter no matter what she is they will love her the way she always been her personality and everything she will always be the one who brings happiness to everybody and it looks like the mayor is here as well so Pinkie Pie had to explain this whole situation to her and Ponyville but now she had to explain to Celestia and it looks like mr. And mrs. Cake heard about what she did and they told her no she didn't have to change her personality she just needed to be a little bit more professional that's all so she understands that lesson so Princess Celestia Switchback Pinkie Pie and Twilight and they're back to their normal self and yeah the ending was pretty cheesy but I love it either way this was a pretty good one keep up the good work