dunno
Joined 21st Aug, 2022 ·
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dunno · 9.5k words · 17 5 · 410 views
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looks interesting i'll follow your story see how it turns out 👍
Very interesting so far.
There are plenty of ways this can go forward.
Too early for me to say more than I am looking forward to how this situation develops.
Is he an Earth Pony or a Crystal Pony?
EP: Dream Dust or Silver Lining (although personally I think that would work better for a Pegasus)
CP: Smokey Quartz, Rough Diamond, Moonstone
Edit: I know those seem kind of generic, but right now, all I know about this guy is his coloration, that this is his '2nd chance', and that he thinks Luna is best princess.
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He's meant to still look like an earth pony.
His appearance just reminded Luna of the crystal ponies in some aspects. Shiney, a feel of see-through but not not as "crystaly-looking" as the Crystal Ponies though. I was trying to give him the look of a pony that wasn't "fully-there", almost like a ghost, just a bit more subtle. Hope it makes it clearer what I'm going for.
Thank you for the names. It's true, there's not too much Info yet. I was just wondering what people would choose at the moment, also with regards to the title of the story I chose.
Welp, He's screwed.
oops
he done for XD
keep up the work!!!~
I never liked or trusted Celestia. She always seemed fishy to me and I kind of consider one of the hidden villains of the show.
Just my opinion, mind you.
And why must she grab the elements of harmony for every task? Thats like the President sending a nuclear suitcase bomb to an illegal immigrant. To be clear, the author isn't wrong, because this is exactly what Celestia would do. Someone stubs their toe? Send for the elements of harmony!
Monk
"No, but seriously; you're going to pee on her while she sleeps tonight and say that Spike did it." -AnalPlugAnon
Self-destructive? Pretty rich coming from the ruler of ponies.
Yes! The chaos reign supreme!
Another good chapter
Monk
“She was very good at assuming the worst, he always did that but she made him look like an amateur at it." -Arelak
great chapter!!!
......I think I'm done with this one. the plot is all over the place and doesn't seem to have a coherent goal at all.
Huh, This is going a direction I hadn't expected.
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I think that's fair. Thanks for the honest feedback.
I think Professor Litmus is wrong. (although I respect his opinion) The plot hasn't started yet and since were still pretty early in the story, thats ok.
Now to the Author. I'm seldom surprised. I usually see where things are going and I have to admit, I didn't see that coming at all.
Personally I never trusted Celestia. I always considered her the main villain of the series. Just a hidden one. Her decision to kill the outlander simply because he was an outsider is very much in her character, (as far as common fan depictions) and it also gives me no reason what so ever to pitty her. She was Ok with killing a person for no real reason, with no trial, or even talking to him. He was a potential threat. Well, She was a solid and very real threat to both our outlander and Luna. Those who live by the sword, die by the sword.
No tears shed here.
Monk
"The idea simply stated that when personal feelings are mixed with power, bad things happen." -Corvo
Nani the fuck?
wow, kinda rude. wouldn't expect that from Celestia.
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I don't know. The way Naysay acted in broad daylight and in public, along with how Zecora was treated, makes me think that racism in equestria is endemic to the system. Add to that the fact that many of the other races are living in third world conditions. The griffons, the buffalo, etc. and I can see Celestia intentionally keeping the other countries poor. Poor countries aren't a threat.
And when she had the chance to remove Sombrero and allow the foreign country of the Crystal Empire to choose its own leaders, she chose to install a puppet government of her own. There by assuring that the empire would back and support Equestria. What better way to prevent the Empire from attacking Equestria, than to give the country to The head of the Equestrian Royal Guard.
That shit was brilliantly planned out.
Monk
“…the perverted tickler of buff men in hairy underwear, left the realm of sleep to join those who had decided to start a productive and early day” -Hotel_Chicken
Great chapter, but I'm just not certain where the Author can take this story from here. Conflict wise, Celestia is dead, so the story can't be someone trying to defeat Luna and restore her to the throne. So Im a bit apprehensive that this may end up being a shorter story with things being wrapped up in the next chapter or two.
Monk
“On her doorstep was Twilight Sparkle. While Derpy deeply respected the mare, like most in Ponyville, they wished she'd either switch to decaf, or start hitting the harder stuff.” -Dan_s Comments
Griffins lived in collapsed society for generations. Yaks hidden in frozen north. Hippogrifts sealed themselves away from land.zebras shunned by the locals.
Maybe luna lies. Maybe not.
Love it *loud squee*
Interesting. I wonder what will become of them. If I were in their position, by this point I'd let Twilight know how Celestia died, that I hadn't been aware that the plan would include her demise, and that I've come to her now with this because Luna is aware of my deteriorating condition but has shown no compassion, and I'm desperate to live and have a life instead of being neglected and essentially dying.
Despite how different the sisters are, they are more similar than even they realize. I can totally see Luna abandoning the person who brought this about because of either lack of care (she did kill her sister), or because there is so much work that she doesn’t have time.
A giant timeskipt it is....
Huh. I was wondering if birth would be an option to avoid replacing another soul, but for the sake of drama I can understand why the story would be taken in this direction. Let's see how this turns out.
Her tail came clean off!
So many turn
Nani the fuck?
Too fucking random.
Read the story, I like it so far despite the rushed flow of the story, but I have seen plenty of the style of dramatic writing and suspense improvised writing chapter by chapter with amoral characters. And so far it seems like you are just managing to keep the story pretty cohesive this many chapters in; Most of the time they would fall apart at the haft way point of where you are now. Looking forward to see where this leads to.
Still reading
Evil path been form complete
This ending seems rushed to degree. It was very sudden. I think it's the fact that it ended. I'm disappointed but at the same time not really. It sets the story more straight, and maybe we'll see him come back at the start of gen. 5
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Thank you for your honest feedback. It's highly appreciated!
I tried to set the stage for a possible second arc in the future as there are a lot of open ends here.
Sequel when m5 will return magic?
11373689
I left the possiblity open for that. I also tried to consider the comics to some degree.
It really depends on how well G5 will be received by the fandom and myself.
Thank you for your feedback!
11373687
Hopfully you can set it up for him to somehow be redeamable.
Should be “ceased”, I believe.
11390174
Fixed.
Thank you.
What made you decide to make this story have every red tag in it?
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No particular reason, really.
This was my first story and it just kinda ended up this way as I tried to depict a story of a person going from somewhat neutral to evil in different stages. I'm aware that is a bit random at times. It was a bit of a playground to me...
I'm also sorry for the people reading this when I published it first. They likely expected something else. Warning tags were added one by one with each chapter back then and it originally only had the mature tag as a warning.
Let me know if you feel that certain tags aren't warranted.
Thanks for reading!
I’m so invested
Now that hit different
Jesus cristina
Good job and Holloween worthy.
I’ll be 100% honest about this story, I’m not sure if your average person would have reacted differently in this entire situation. Sure he was someone who was dying anyway and he knew he was before arriving. But after spending however many years as basically a ghost, and being ghosted by Luna, who wouldn’t jump at the chance for a second chance at life. And from their the stoning punishment is extremely harsh because of the stuck but aware aspect. Discord may be one of few beings to potentially not be that bothered about it. He is all about chaos and death is antithetical to chaos, which is all about change. So after becoming a ghost for however long it takes to get a body, to wanting to live again to the max, to immediately lose that freedom just upon receiving life. I’d be mad too. Honestly this reminds me of how the undead attack the living either because they are jealous of it or try to take it over for themselves and “live” to the extreme
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.