Broken seals
While waiting for an answer, which usually took a second or two to come, Luna used that time to mentally compose herself as much as she could. Her mind was a swirling vortex of emotion. Her anger, while mostly calm now, still simmering underneath the surface, with a dangerous heat.
She felt a degree of anticipation, trepidation and dread as well. All these emotions had become quite familiar in recent times as her sister had become increasingly overbearing, clamping down on Luna’s behaviors and mannerisms that Celestia deemed ‘not befitting of royalty’.
However one emotion stood out from the rest, sorrow. Sorrow that the simple act of going to talk to her own sister, once something that she looked forward to, now filled her with such negative emotions.
Luna had felt the gap between them widen for years, until now it resembles a chasm, as Celesia tried to force her into the mold of royalty that she herself seemed to fit so well and Luna resenting her for it.
As Luna was organizing her emotions, she noticed that the answer from her sister never came. Celestia was usually very alert and perceptive of her surroundings. A skill that the two of them had to learn from very young age to survive, so it couldn’t be that she didn’t hear the knock.
Now confused, the Lunar Princess knocked again. Only to be greeted with silence.
Celestia must not be inside, the realization dawned on her. This was unusual of her sister, normally the Sun Princess was near religious in the following of her schedule. She would not have asked Luna to meet her at a certain time if she wasn’t available to take a meeting at that time.
Still, no matter the reason, Luna felt a not insignificant amount of relief that she was not going to be confronting her sister and could just leave the documents on Celestia’s desk and be done with it.
Though that relief was darkened by a brief flare-up of anger and annoyance that her sister had made Luna come all the way to see her and had not even bothered to be there at the specified time.
Not wanting to question her good fortune however, of delaying her inevitable argument with her sister until at least tomorrow. When she was hopefully more emotionally prepared for it. Luna turned the door handle with her magic and opened it.
Scanning the room as she entered it, Luna saw that her assumption was correct. The Solar Princess was indeed not inside. With a cautious step, Luna stepped inside and closed the door behind her.
The room was large and ostentatious as befitting of royalty. The layout wasn’t too dissimilar to Luna’s own room, but with more white and gold accents and coloring, as opposed to her own room’s blue and silver.
It was rare that Luna entered her sister’s room, rarer still that her sister was not present as well.
One of the objects that caught her attention as she observed the bedroom was a harp that sat in the corner. The rage Luna felt boiling inside her seemed to falter for a moment as her memory brought her back to the day that Celestia received the instrument.
They were fillies when Starswirl gave the harp to her sister as a gift and to help her train her magic.
Telekinesis is undoubtedly one of the most important skills that a unicorn can learn and makes up the vast majority of all the spells that they will ever use. Thus training in dexterity and precision with telekinesis is something that foals are taught at an early age, usually by means of a hobby that would require fine magic motor skills.
Celestia had been given a harp to fill the world with beautiful music, while Luna had been given a paintbrush and canvas to capture the beauty of the world around them.
A small smile threatened to make its way onto her face as Luna remembered those nights in Starswirl’s tower when Celestia would play her harp and Luna would sing along with accompanying lyrics that she had written just that morning.
She absentmindedly began to hum softly one of her favorite songs that her sister had made, as her mind was brought back to simpler times when the fate of an entire nation wasn’t resting, with a seemingly infinite burden, on their shoulders and when they were both happy.
Her welling of warm nostalgia disappeared just as quickly as it had come and her soft hum faded as she noticed the layers of dust that covered the instrument and other signs of prolonged disuse.
It looked like it had been a very long time since Celestia had practiced on the harp. It was disappointing, but not surprising as their royal duty prevented them from enjoying much time to explore and practice hobbies.
‘It’s a pity,’ Luna thought to herself.
‘Celestia’s music always sounded so beautiful.’
It was times like these that made Luna resent and sometimes even hate their royal positions. Their titles and duties drove a wedge between the sisters, to the point that she couldn’t even visit her sister’s room without feeling anxiety, dread and rage.
Things didn’t always used to be like this between the two sisters though.
Once long ago, she found comfort and protection in visiting her sister. One of Luna’s oldest memories was of when she was a young filly, barely older than a foal, before the Bad Times and the two sisters still lived with their parents.
It was during a vicious and brutal thunderstorm, with lightning that would lighten the whole sky, like a second sun, for a split-second and thunder that would shake the walls of her family’s small wooden cabin.
The few Pegasi that lived in the small village protected it from most violent storms by redirecting them away from the village. The only storms that ever actually struck the settlement were truly monstrous monsoons that were too large for the few pegasi to handle.
To a very young filly, who had never experienced such a storm before, it had seemed like the world was ending. Like the vengeful gods of the ancient Pegasus pantheon had unleashed their wrath on the world.
The two sisters had shared a room back then and when the storm grew too frightful for the young filly, she would wake her sister by climbing into her bed with her. Celestia wouldn’t say anything, she would just hold Luna tightly in her hooves and wrap both her wings around her small body.
The little filly would sleep soundly then, content in the knowledge that within the safety of her sister’s hooves, nothing could ever harm her.
She only ever grew more reliant on the protection of her sister in the coming years, during the Bad Times. When they had to flee their home in the night and face the whole by themselves, with nothing, but each other.
'That was then and this is now,' Luna reminded herself. The days when she could rely on Celestia were long gone.
Not wanting to get sidetracked for too long and risk her sister catching her snooping through her room. Luna made her way to Celestia’s desk, which sat against the far wall directly under a large window.
Although the candles on the desk weren't lit, the mesmerizing kaleidoscope of ever-shifting colour and light that filtered through the window from her aurora, illuminated the area without issue.
As Luna put the documents on the desk, she noticed that one of the desk draws was open. A large, thick and ornate book sat in it.
The Night Princess was immediately curious. It wasn't a book from the library. After helping to build and organize the castle library, as well as spending a significant amount of her time reading there, Luna was very familiar with the types of covers and bindings used and she had never seen such a book before.
It wasn't a general ledger or any other type of government affairs book either, as they wouldn't use such an expensive, ornate binding for official record keeping.
Perhaps it was a gift of some sort from a foreign dignitary or a noble? That might have been a plausible explanation, until Luna noticed the single most important detail of all. The book was locked.
Not just with an ordinary lock, but a magical seal and a powerful one at that. She instantly recognized the magic as her sister’s. The seal was radiating a distinct aura of warmth and sunlight that was entirely unique to Celestia.
The seal was also recognizable as an invention of Starswirl. The same one that had been taught to both of them under his tutelage.
Such a powerful enchantment would prevent anyone, but the caster of the seal from opening the book. The seal was also designed to last. Starswirl had calculated that the enchantment would only need to be recast after a thousand years.
Celestia would not have used such powerful and advanced magic on just any random book. Whatever was contained within the book must have been of incredible importance or danger. The only other time that the sisters had used such a difficult enchantment, was on the Inspiration Manifestation, before it had been sealed behind the walls of the castle.
'Of course Celestia would keep such a thing from my knowledge.' Luna thought to herself bitterly as another wave of dark emotions surged through her veins and her anger reached a near crescendo.
Determined not to be kept in the dark, Luna set to work undoing the seal. She was sick of Celestia keeping things from her. The incident with the Saddle Arabians still brought bile up to the back of her throat whenever she thought about it.
She knew that she wouldn't be able to conceal the broken enchantment should Celestia ever check on the book and would probably get in trouble for it, but Luna was so far beyond caring about the consequences at the moment.
It didn't even matter to her that her sister could walk through the door at any moment and catch her in the act. Luna was determined to never again be blindsided by her sister’s deception and focused on carefully undoing the enchantment with near single-mindedness.
As the more magically studious of the two sisters, as well as being very familiar with the spell, it didn't take long for Luna to undo her sister’s magic. The seal shattered violently with an audible sound, like glass shattering.
With much anger and slight trepidation, Luna opened the book to the first page and read the first line.
Dear diary.....
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The anticipation...
that's why you get physical locks as well...maybe throw it out of sync with the universe...just in case
Here we gooooo!
I rarely comment on things.
I usually leave nothing in my online wake.
So believe me that when I do it is done with solemnity and great hesitancy, but this is one of those times.
More, I beseech thee more.
luna is about to either learn her sister is not someone to look up to or that her view has become so twisted that there isnt much point in confrunting her
Now the book is open... And nicely giving us an anticipation with that cliff to hang on from.
Keep it up.
Ah, diary-reading, nothing bad ever came of a nice snoop through someone's diary!
... Oh Dear
Oh boy...this is so going to be such a Fallout...especially if any of so called "Nobles" says anything about Luna after she has left....Wet Stain in Wall me thinks will be Celly's reaction
Plot twist, it was the Necronomicon.
My guess is that book is going to be quite judgmental of Luna's royal abilities and all-around usefulness.
11383705
Funnily enough, I was considering writing that the seal had been used on the Inspiration Manifestation AND the Necronomicon before the diary. But I ultimately decided to stick with just the Show Canon reference.
There is a subtle detail in this chapter about the description of the room and its contents that is going to be very important later in a Celestia POV chapter. I'm interested to see if anyone can spot it, deduce why it's important and the implications it may have for the story.
11383736
Part of it is that I've written two whole chapters with not a single line of dialog. When Luna actually starts to dynamically interact with ponies around her, the chapters will probably beef up quite a bit.
Do not get too worried about the readers and or editors and just do what you want to do. This I think is death of many new authors. listening to readers comes a bit later once you have shown your vision.
Also a question, will the story be more about the leaving, about the "I left so now what?" or "Well i ended up here."?
11383778
It's about Luna discovering who she is as a pony, beyond just 'Princess of the night' and 'Celestia’s sister'.
11383731
Is it the harp? that its symbolize celestia as a pony she never done anything for herself for a long time or maybe she ignores something she deems not important and that harp symbolize luna. An as for why it is important maybe in celestia pov after luna left and celestia started to realise how much she needs luna she started playing the harp again but its too late and the damage done from decades maybe even centuries of neglect broke the harp or atleast the sound that it makes is not the beautiful music but a poor excuse of music symbolizing celestia relationship with luna. Or maybe its celestia skills itself with the harp itself after years of not playing the harp she had forgotten how to play it and gradually improves as she realises her mistake and try to make amends but the damage is already done and it is symbolised by celestia not playing the harp as good as she used to be.
So im i right about the harp or i missed the subtle detail and just type this for nothing?
11383833
Not exactly what I had in mind, but full marks anyway. I honestly never realized the symbolism for the harp, I might incorporate some of this in the story going forward. Fantastic analysis.
11383785
How long will this story be?
11383848
Probably more than 50k words, but haven't decided how long and how far Luna’s journey will take her.
An excellent chapter. I humbly request more.
11383731
It's the location of the desk. You explicitly describe it as being beneath a large window, and that the aurora's light is coming through said window. This is important because Celestia's royal duties would likely keep her outside of her room for the entire day, and as a result the only times she could reasonably use the desk for a prolonged period is when the moon is out. Perhaps she hasn't forgotten about her sister as much as Luna's perspective would have us believe....
The wonders of only having one POV at this time!
11383833
How funny that our usernames are so similar. LoL
11383873
Yeah i just realized this.
Take your time, don't worry. Ive seen too many stories ruined with haste.
11383873
Interesting. I also go by random-- although spelled with an 'm'
I want the next chapter so bad
Good read so far, into the very small pile of stories that keeps me checking back in on this place it goes.
P E R F E C T. I cannot wait for Luna to see just how snobby and shallow her sister has become, nor can I wait to see her reaction.
Celestial isn't winning any 'Best sister' prizes anytime soon. I'm excited to see what she's hiding in her diary.
11383851
I am divided in regards to the length of 50,000 words. On the one hand, as a new author, you should start with small stories and work your way up to larger ones.
On the other hand, I don’t think 50,000 words will do this story justice; especially if you want to go into detail as to the impact Luna’s departure had.
The only alternative I see to both dilemmas is to have several stories that form a series.
I'm really looking forward at Luna's reaction to what's in Celestia's diary. I wonder if there's even an ounce of love written about Luna in there. If not, then she'll leave heartbroken rather than spiteful.
This story has the potential to be really great! Keep it up!
That's what I like to see.
I'm so looking forward to the luna story, I'm looking forward to the day it ends
Maybe Luna here won't become Nightmare Moon? Or embrace the nightmare again after a painful struggle?
11384992
This story is about Luna choosing a different path than the Nightmare. She won't become NMM, I can guarantee you that much.
First, don't.
Don't ever read the stats. We write because we love writing. NEVER FORGET THAT!
There was a time on this site where every single MC had to be a sexual phobic. There was a time on this site where as an author you had to use the word chuckled in every chapter at least 7 times or there was something wrong with you.
NEVER write for the stats. YOU AS A WRITER WRITE WHAT YOU LOVE! period. If the fuckers on this site think it's crap, it's their problem. Samuel Clemens, better known as Mark Twain was considered a shit writer in his time, as was H.P.Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe. The latter two died thinking they were failures as authors and they are considered gods of their genres.
If you worry about what the unwashed masses want, you will produce garbage.
My Blog contains tips and tricks for new Authors. Watch the videos.
And come here with new chapters and kick ass!
Monk
Another awesome chapter! Keep it up! So so looking forward to this plot :)
Unless this was during the Discordian Era where rains of treacle and slime were not uncommon, the word you were probably looking to use is "Vicious"
Don’t worry about meeting expectation, just keep writing as you are and it will met expectations passively, for me anyway. Keep writing as you are and I will enjoy it so don’t worry about trying to make it perfect or good enough bc it already is more than good enough for me
One more patch of memories and swirls of heated emotions before she sees how her sister truly feels about her. Let us see what hidden blades this tome hides, ready to flense deep into Luna as she reads.
Question: Is this one of those stories where there will be a pivotal point where she chooses to either follow the canon timeline or diverge and go off on her own, or is this a story where the original series' timeline isn't considered to even be a possibility. Like, there isn't ONE moment that could turn her onto a certain path but a series of events that diverts it farther from the original timeline?
11392675
The pivitol moment is that, by pure chance, Luna stumbles on Celestia's diary and reads all of the disparaging criticism that Celestia has leveled at her over the years, but has been too polite to say to Luna's face. Since this is earlier in the timeline compared to Luna's Canon fall, Luna doesn't HATE Celestia to the point where she wants to KILL her sister. So Luna decides to leave.
This is also pure AU from that moment forward. It isn't going to be like:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/381174/evening-star-also-rises
Where Luna gets banished anyway (spoilers) and the Canon time-line continues undisturbed.
omg this was amazing!
can't wait for the next one!
That was a interesting story goodluck with the rest of it.
great chapter
So... A bit of constructive criticism here. You keep changing tense dude, need to clean that up cause otherwise you're gonna be makin' a mess of your story and it's gonna kill the pacing. A majority of your story seems to have been written in past tense, I'd stick with that instead of loading into present-tense like the above example.
11400220
Thanks for pointing that out. I try to keep it as consistent as possible, but a few errors still get through editing and my beta-readers. I imagine that it's something that I'll get better with experience.
11383860
A small addition. All this is covered with dust and left in the past. Music, relationship with Luna... Celestia is a ruler now. "Nothing personal", as they say.
dear diary luna is such a loser lmao