The series stars a unicorn pony named Sunburst, a student of Lord Discord - the ruler of the magical land of Equestria - and Princess Cadance. The princess gives Sunburst the task of learning about friendship and invites him and his assistant, a baby dragon named Ember, to the newly-refound Crystal Empire. There, they meet some interesting ponies, including action-loving Shining Armor, fainéant Zephyr Breeze, hard-working Big Mac, amiable Soarin, and hyperactive Cheese Sandwich. Together, they go on adventures, solve various problems, and learn about the magic of friendship. Or, rather, broship.
Original draft here on Tumblr, but checking it out won’t affect the story much. Posted to Fimfiction after curiosity arose from this piece that exists in the AU.
Additional characters (not in the tags): Shining Armor, Ember, Princess Cadance, Discord, King Sombra, Mane 6, Daybreaker, Fluttershy, Moondancer, Twilight Sparkle, Flash Sentry, Cheerilee, Nightmare Moon
Updates are guaranteed to be slow. I’ll be covering the most changed episodes of FiM in this book. If you have a suggestion that you’d like to see, which I decide can’t be summarised in just a single comment, I’ll write it (so long as the story is tagged Ongoing).
So using a Reverse Gender of the cast. Just instead of using Male version of the Mane 6 and a female Spike, just different Male Stallions and a female dragon. I might find it interesting to see an Evil King Thorax, Scorpan and the former ruler of the Queen of the Crystal Empire.
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I tried doing “reverse gender” to the best of my ability (without creating OCs or Ponysonas of characters we’ve only seen in EqG), but the whole Equestria Girls thing makes it difficult. As does the Royal Wedding.
I blame Flash Sentry. Mostly for having Sunset and Twilight for a love interest.
You won’t be getting an evil King Thorax for the sole reason that I tried keeping canon character traits, even after the switch, so Thorax will be swapped with… another female bug, shall we say?
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Rats. I was hoping to see an Evil Thorax since you did some character swaps but oh well, its your story.
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Sockiepuppetry on DeviantArt does a good evil Thorax (based on the Mirror Universe from the comics). They also do incredible art, which is always a bonus.
Hope you’re still interested in the story, though.
Interesting story, I wished I had noticed it sooner. I do like the idea that it was the Crystal Empire that survived and prospered and not Equestria, making the crystal ponies a lot more numerous then then in cannon. the fusion of the pilot episode and the season three premier was interesting and the challenges weren't haft bad. With Discord being taking on the teacher role instead of Celestia and not ruling Equestria is interesting, and I would seriously wonder what was his approach in trying to 'teach' Sunburst about 'studies' 'ethics' or 'magic' with the track record he has in cannon. But most of all why of all ponies would he had picked bookish nerd like Sunburst out of all of them to 'deserve' his 'special' from him other then enjoying making his suffer. What sort of twisted teacher student dynamic could they possibly have to have any respect for one another With Discord more hooves on approach on 'teaching' and Sunburst interest on theory, I mean I could guess that Sunburst might have been the least scared of Discord when he was more interested in his sheer wealth of knowledge in history and magic that the lord of Chaos had and know and was willing to put up with his antics and know more about magic then most ponies alive and might have compensated for his really weak magic in his studies at whatever magic school he was at in this world. I wonder why Discord didn't try to find a way to boost Sunburst's magic in some way. I wonder why amber is so young in those story, did Dragon Lord Troch give up her egg to discord or something on a deal years before and good have hatch much later then in cannon, could the revers be true for spike? I do like that Mane 6 are still the element bearers of sorts, but see far older and have passed their age of discovery and wonder and probably somewhat. I wonder what got Shining armor stuck as a regular guard instead of a captain, is it because he never caught the eye of Candance and wasn't promoted through nepotism. What could be Sombra's story in all of this, could he be Cadance's brother too. I do like how you managed to rehabilitated Zephyr Breeze in the story in not being so useless and actually have a sort of useful role in making the unconscious Cadance still look presentable and put his panic attacks more in the for front as his main struggle to overcome.
Writing wise I think it's your work is interesting, but you seem to have trouble showing the characters head space in showing their inner thoughts or add some back story for context through the narrator, I would say that's the only thing really missing in your writing. I would also like to add that the light humor was also a lot of fun keep it up,
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I believe that Ember and Spike are the only age swap I did. I really did try to only swap roles, and not ages or personalities, but it only made sense with Ember being a baby dragon and Spike an adult (teen? Eh, however old Ember actually is in canon).
Sombra and Cadance aren’t related, because canonically they are not. Sombra is an umbrum(?)/shadow pony, like in the comics. Cadance is not. I just added some additional lore. Maybe he’s, like, in an uncle role to her, like canon Celestia is (as an aunt)?
As for the head space thing, when writing this (it was a while ago, and I’m sure my writing techniques have improved, or so I’ve been told), I tried keeping it “in show logic”. The show doesn’t have a narrator. It has cartoonish qualities. We have to guess the character’s feelings by actions, expressions, tones, and the like.
Before deciding to publish this (as when I wrote this, I was unsure whether the format would go against the site rules), I wrote a story that was narration-heavy, and is kind of a spoiler to this actual AU book. I actually liked how it turned out, and you can kinda tell I went for a “fanfic of my fanfic” approach with the narration in comparison to BaM.
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Thanks for replying, I get what you mean dude, you want to keep things as visual easy as possible for the story, but a little more insight or hints wouldn't hurt the flow of the story for a little more context, and immerse ourselves into the character even add an extra layers of silliness to it. And writing isn't bound by the same rules as visual medias and you have a lot more leeway in how you structure your story, and you don't need to make constant flashbacks either.
Like you can add more suggestive elements to their back story: 'Sunburst remembered the last time his teacher and mentor did a 'surprise party' for him, it was a desperate fight for his life, and barely survived the experience with his rump intact.'
you can also add the narrator's 'impressing' or 'suggestively 'of what his happening clueing us in how the characters tones and expression; "really..." Sunburst drawled skeptically, seemingly doubting the pegasus' reliability.
'Desperately trying to avoid the subject of the degree of his magical prowess, an obvious sour issue for him'
As for my idea of Sombra and Cadance of being siblings, he could have been adopted or raided together in that manner in this time line, even if they aren't related; but then again it's your story and I won't harp on the issue any further form this point onward, it was just meant as an idea. Heck they might had been behooved for a thousand years bud decided to put it off for as long as possible because they didn't loved each other that way; but you can use it as a way to stir up Shining armor wanting to prevent the wedding to finally come and get him to get the romance between him and Cadance together at the end of Season 2.
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Thanks for the ideas. I don’t really want to spoil too much of the AU in the comments, but if you want to check out the (very) rough concepts I have for the episodes, I left a link in the long description to the original idea, so to speak.
Equestria Girls (Boys) just fucks hard with the season two finale, so to make it work I’ll just pretend like EqG never existed.
I’ve probably said this before but, I blame Flash Sentry.
Interesting take on that episode it was nice to see some good characterization of Zeph
Apple Phone 😂😂😂
Soarin - Twilight Sparkle
Shining Armour - Applejack
Zephyr - Rarity
I"am right?
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Yes, but there’s some interchangeable moments with Zeph and Shiny.
Soarin also owns “sports magazines”.