The Heart Never Seems To Learn

by BronyBraeburn

Chapter 2

“Well done, Twilight,” Celestia praised, smiling at her student’s latest accomplishment. The unicorn glowed with pride, happier to impress her mentor more than mastering a difficult spell. “Now can you undo what you have done?”

Twilight stared determinedly at the cactus, concentrating on the atoms that made up the plant. She focused her magic and sent out a strong, bright, white beam of magic that temporarily blinded them both. When the light cleared, the cactus was gone, and a potted grass plant stood in its place. “I did it, I did it! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” She chanted as she happily danced around the princess, mimicking what she did the day she was accepted into the school.

“Very few unicorns are able to perform molecular transformation, certainly none when they are still fillies, and never have I seen someone willingly perform it at your age,” Celestia said, savoring her student’s filly-like joy.

“I can’t wait to tell Shining Armor! I hope he arrives home soon!”

The alicorn winced, unsure of how she should break the news. “You have to consider the possibility that your brother may just want to go home and not see anyone.”

“Nonsense! He had two weeks alone with Cadance, why wouldn’t he want to see his family?”

“Well…things can happen on one’s honeymoon, and Shining Armor may want to catch up on his sleep. He is on duty first thing in the morning.”

“He’ll come to see me, I know he will,” she argued. “Family comes first, that’s what Mom taught us; he’ll come to see me, even if it’s brief.”

“Very well, Twilight,” Celestia relented, she knew when she was beat. “I trust you know your brother better then I do.”

As if he was summoned, the doors to the Royal Hall opened, the guards bowing as their captain and his princess passed by.

“Twily!”

“BBBFF!” Twilight ran straight at her brother and threw herself at him.

“Whoa there!” He exclaimed as he caught her and then swung her around. “I missed you too, little sis!”

Cadance smiled affectionately at the rather robust greeted and bowed before her aunt, “Lovely to see you again, Princess Celestia.”

The elder alicorn didn’t respond, just stared at her until Cadance laughed and lovingly embraced her just like her husband did his sister. “Lovely to see you again as well, Princess Cadance; how was your honeymoon?”

The glow in her eyes spoke a million words in favor of her beloved husband. “I thought Shining Armor was good before, but he’s been holding back his true abilities for marriage! Good thing we were alone in the mountains, though I think we frightened off all wildlife in a ten-mile radius. Thank you again for allowing us to stay in your mountain cabin.”
Not exactly what I wanted to know, she winced, but kept it together and did her best to hide her unease. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourselves.” Kiss goodbye that cabin for a good six months. I’m getting the best cleaning crew in Equestria to burn the bedding and scrub every inch on the cabin a thousand times. “You earned it after everything you went through at your wedding. I suppose I should blame you then if Shining Armor ever comes on duty overly tired?” She teased, surprised at herself for making jokes about a subject that bothered her so. Thankfully Twilight and Shining seem ignorant of our discussion.

Cadance laughed. “Yes, but I swear I will try not to let things get out of control when he needs his sleep, and I’ll take full responsibility if it should happen.”

“The mark of a true princess,” she nodded proudly.

“The princess said you wouldn’t come to see us,” Twilight exclaimed the moment her brother let her down. “She said you’d be too tired from your trip.”

“Well she’s correct about being tired, but that would never stop me from seeing you. Family comes first right?” He stuck out his hoof.

“Family always comes first,” she agreed with a smile, giving him a hoof bump, happy to see that no matter how many years apart, they both honored the family creed. “I promise to try and visit you in Canterlot more often. I need to see you a lot more often than least once a year.”

“And I need to see this town of yours, and especially your home. You always did turn your room into a library; I never imagined you’d actually live in one.”

“I did, at least I dreamed of living in one, and it’s even more magical then I imagined,” she admitted, thinking about the other benefits her library home had given her.

“Dear, didn’t we promise your parents we’d see them in fifteen minutes?” Cadance interrupted.

“Oh, you’re right! We better go. Coming with us, Twilight?”

Acceptance was the on the tip of her tongue but she looked at her mentor for permission.

Oh Twilight, you know I can never say no to that face, she smiled and nudged her student toward the couple. “Go, you more than earned a break. We’ll resume after dinner.”

The unicorn briefly hugged her in thanks before catching up with her brother and sister-in-law, following them out of the hall, their chatter suddenly silenced as the heavy doors shut behind them.

---

Luna’s moon was high in the sky by the time Twilight returned to the castle gates, barely acknowledging the guards as they wished her well. “I hope the princess isn’t angry with me, she did say come back after dinner, which is why maybe Shining delayed it as long as possible to maximize our family time together, and then insisted on several courses at the finest restaurant in the city to further extend it. Oh, please don’t be angry with me, princess, please!” But the better question was where was the princess? No one had seen her for several hours.

“We think she retired to her chambers, she seemed to have a lot on her mind when you left with the captain,” one of the night guards informed her.

“I already checked, she’s not there,” a pegasus guard answered. “I found her far out on the castle grounds, near the lake, lost in thought. Shall I fly you out to her?”

“Please,” she said without hesitation. Clinging to a pegasus wasn’t exactly the safest method of flight but she didn’t have much of a choice. The princess needed her. “Meep!” She exclaimed as the guard immediately took to the sky, grabbed her, and sped off, wrapping all four legs tightly around his body.

Luz softly chuckled. She’s still a little foal at heart. To help her feel more at ease, he flew at a fairly low altitude, dropping her off a few feet behind the stoic princess, too lost in her own thoughts to notice her company. He opened his mouth to announce Twilight’s arrival, but the mare did it herself with profuse apologies for being so late as she rushed to the alicorn’s side.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Twilight,” the princess assured her, and both the unicorn and stallion let out a sigh of relief. “I’m glad that you were able to spend time with your family. That’s more important than any magic lesson.”

“Your Highness,” Luz bowed and took to the skies.

“Thank you!” Twilight shouted after him, and then returned her attention to the princess. “Notte said you seemed distracted since I left, like you had a lot on your mind. What’s wrong?”

Celestia attempted to brush it off as nothing, but the mare’s concerned expression quickly wore down her defenses, and her faithful student would never gossip about her private thoughts and emotions. “To be frank, hearing about Cadance and what a splendid honeymoon she had, it brought up old bittersweet feelings and memories about someone.”

Twilight swallowed nervously. Though they spoke freely about many subjects in the past, one’s love life was never mentioned, “A mortal lover?” She ventured, hoping that the princess would be discrete about any details she may wish to divulge. She was slowly getting comfortable hearing the candid details of her friends’ little adventures in the realm of romance, but she didn’t want to get that personal with her mentor.

She sighed heavily, afraid of how much she would be forced to confess, “No, an immortal one who chose to spurn my affection.”

“Then he is the very definition of the word ‘fool!’” The unicorn suddenly asserted, surprising the princess with her ferocity.
“You’re the greatest pony in all of Equestria! He should be on his knees praising the Creator that he met you!”

Celestia softly smiled, always touched to see such displays of affection, but the smile quickly disappeared as she looked to the sky. “I fear I am the fool for ever getting involved with him. Everyone advised me against it, even Luna, but I stupidly ignored them. He had my heart, and there was no way I could take it back.”

“Who was he?” Now her curiosity was peaked. Who was this mysterious male that captivated her so?

“I can’t tell you,” Celestia quickly answered in a sharp tone.

“Please,” Twilight pleaded, placing a comforting hoof on the princess’s shoulder. “I know he’s probably somepony I’ve never even heard of, but I want to help you. You know I can’t stand seeing you sad.”

“Don’t,” she asked, her voice breaking with emotion as she walked away from her student. “Please, just don’t.”

“What’s wrong? What did he do to you?” The unicorn demanded as she dashed in front of her mentor, eyes brimming with tears. “Princess, I’ve never seen you like this before! Please stop scaring me!” She reared up and put her hooves on the alicorn’s necklace, their eyes locked onto each other.

“Twilight, I couldn’t bear it if you hated me,” she replied softly as a tear fell down her cheek. “I was young, and I was foolish. He put ponies in danger, he hurt Luna out of spite, he broke my heart, but I can’t bring myself to hate him completely. A part of me still loves him, still wishes we could be together while still keeping everypony safe, but that could never happen. I hate myself for still bearing this feelings; I don’t want you feeling the same way.”

She took a deep breath as she summoned all her courage, and looked the princess directly in the eye. “Celestia, I love you too much to ever hate you. You’re still a pony, like me, like all of Equestria, just with abilities that the rest of us can only dream about. You’re allowed to make mistakes, and I know you would put aside your personal feelings to keep Equestria safe. I could never, ever hate you, no matter what you say or do. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Celestia broke eye contact as her head hung low, “Discord,” she quietly admitted. “We were close friends in our fillyhood, grew to be lovers in our teenage years, and then, just as predicted, his love of chaos and disorder conquered him. We fought terribly; I who strived for order and he who wanted nothing more than to leave life to chance. He was banished from my homeland for contorting the land to suit his desires, just like what he did to Ponyville. Months later, he found Equestria, and did the same thing to them. The combined force of every unicorn in the country barely hurt him, and he killed any who went against him. For years, he was their god, distorting the very fabric of reality to suit his selfish desires. When Luna and I heard what he was doing, we tried stopping him on our own, but ultimately failed. His power was far too strong. We discovered the Elements of Harmony and unleashed their powers against him, though we barely knew anything about them. I kept his statue in the garden as a trophy to commemorate our ascension to the throne, and because I wanted to keep him near. I promise you, if I had known his prison would be a temporary one, I would have smashed it a thousand years ago.”

Twilight numbly dropped to all fours and took a step back, her eyes wide and her jaw hanging low, trying to comprehend everything she was told. “You…him…how?” This doesn’t make any sense! “This is Discord we’re talking about! He’s evil! He’s chaos personified! He waged war against Equestria, he hurt ponies, he hurt you, how can you possibly even claim to love him to this day? How could you not hate him from the very moment you met him?”

The princess’s heart ached as her student’s words stung her. “Twilight, love can’t be understood scientifically, no matter how hard you try. It can be irrational, unexplainable, stupid, even, because if it ever came down to it, I can’t say for certain that I would allow your sacrifice if it meant saving Equestria. An entire country lost over a single unicorn, ridiculous, but possible, because if that moment should ever actually come, who’s to say I won’t choose you?”

“But—but, you can’t!” The mare argued, completely confused. “I’m not that important, and don’t change the subject, we were talking about Discord!”

“We still are, and, my most faithful student, you are the most important pony in all of Equestria. Of all the ponies I’ve ever met over my rule, of all the students I’ve taught, you’re the one I loved the most. Just a regular old unicorn, as you have often described yourself, a unicorn with a great talent for magic, not the first nor the last who will ever live, maybe not even the greatest, but you have still claimed my heart in a way no one else has, you’re the daughter I never had.”

Twilight’s eyes widened to the point that it threatened to consume her entire face. Her mouth flapped wordlessly, her tongue frozen in place, gently shut with a nudge of the alicorn’s hoof.

“Your magical ability has nothing to do with how I feel about you. It was simply a chance for the two of us to meet, and an excuse for us to spend a lot of time together. What happened afterward just came naturally, without any interference or concern for right or wrong. Neither of us fought it, we just went with it.”

“Just like you and Discord,” she suddenly realized. “You’re right, love is irrational, it can’t really be explained or studied, only felt. It can be impossible to fight. I tried, I thought it was wrong for me to care about my mentor so much, but I gave up fighting, and I embraced it.” Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked up at the pony she considered a second mother, her heart crushed by the pain in the alicorn’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” Twilight humbly apologized as tears of shame fell. “I never should have snapped at you. I should have trusted you.”

“There is nothing to apologize for,” the princess assured her, wrapping her neck around her student and holding her close. “He’s gone, that’s all that matters.”

“But, if he escaped once, what’s stopping him from doing it again?” She asked, her voice still cracking, feeling like a filly.

“I put his statue in the crystal caverns beneath the castle. Without access to ponies and their emotions, he won’t have a way to break through. Equestria is safe, that’s all that matters.”

“But what about you?” Just because you’re a princess it doesn't mean you have to sacrifice everything for your subjects; you deserve happiness like everypony else.

“I deserve this pain for stupidly getting involved with him in the first place,” Celestia insisted, slipping into monarch mode.

“But, did he…did he care about you?” It seemed inconceivable, the spirit of disharmony, loving someone like the princess, who treasured order above everything else.

“Trust me, he did,” she answered with a warm smile.

“I do trust you,” Twilight affirmed, returning the smile. All the same, I’m asking an expert on the subject tomorrow morning. There must be something I can do for you after all the good you've done for me.

Comments

[Azure888]

Going great so far!
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2969-1312924179506511.png

[Fury of the Tempest]

Good for her to speak out, through perhaps it wasn't the best of ideas.