This Child

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Comments ( 12 )

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ScarletRibbon

ScarletRibbon #1 · Sep 9th, 2021 · · ·

And yes, I am aware that the meter is broken in places.

n3k1dsk1llz

n3k1dsk1llz #2 · Sep 9th, 2021 · 1 · ·

Don’t worry about the meter. It flowed enough.

This was good. Like, really good.

It’s been a Loooooooong time since I’ve seen some poetry on here. It’s a form not considered enough, I think.

I can’t explain how much I enjoyed this. Simple story, stunning poetry.

You get a like.

thecelestialknights

thecelestialknights #3 · Sep 9th, 2021 · 1 · ·

This is so good, like, there are no words on how to describe it. I'm pretty much speechless at this point lol. I never thought of reading poetry on here would capture my interest since there's hardly any poetry on here.

The Dark Bro

The Dark Bro #4 · Sep 10th, 2021 · 2 · ·

Your summary text sounds like something a Gravemind would say.

Thepervertedeye

Thepervertedeye #5 · Sep 10th, 2021 · 1 · ·

what the hell

RetiredAccount

RetiredAccount #6 · Sep 10th, 2021 · 1 · ·

From past experience I know that poetic rules are a chore, so I at least applaud the attempt, but when you blunder with the rhyming on the very second verse ('then' with 'them') it doesn't really inspire confidence for the rest of it...

ScarletRibbon

ScarletRibbon #7 · Sep 10th, 2021 · · ·

10971629
The only non-perfect rhyme in the entire piece. I noticed that when I reread it back after publishing, but this entire thing was written in 4 hours without any real editing.

I didn't figure anyone would make a huge deal about a single rhyming pair out of dozens of pairs, but since you've pointed it out, I fixed it.

EddWar