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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Brex will soon learn that one meets their fate on the road they take to avoid it.
Luna?
And what makes you think this is Luna?
11023268
Probably the olde timey speak.
Discord will be proud these two females will cause so much chaos.
His emotion don't match the scenes, why would he assume they would make fun of his name, why does he acts like a shy Maiden out of the blue and then proceeded to act like a cold heated bastard.
Also I have bit of criticism, first of all is the pacing. The pacing is bad, The story is slow beyond redemption. Some chapters go by without advancing the plot while others just feel like you are dragging your feet while writing it. Which makes no sense because you make big chapters. Another issue that adds to the slow pacing is repetition, in your writing style you have the tendency to repeat yourself constantly. Being by saying the same words multiple times in a sentence or full on retelling of a previously narrated scene, this is specially noticeable in the pov changes. Don't misunderstand, POV's are a great way of adding variety to your story but changing pov so that you can just retell the same paragraph with some added reaction is a bit tideous to read. My last concern is your grammar, you tend to use a passive voice to tell the story, while this is not bad I "personally" not recommended because it makes the story a bit more messy and hard to read. Passive voice is when the subject of a sentence receives the action of the verb rather than performing the action.
Besides all this I would actually rate your story quite highly around 6/10 and steadily going up. (Don't get discouraged my rating starts with a normal story at 5, I'm grumpy like that)