The Next Lesson

by Bandy

Flying High

Flimsy flappers, falling branches, sunrise slow as soft molasses. Hark we go into the sky. Flap flap flap and up real high.

Falling branches down below, scary monsters down there roam. Safety in the summer sky. Safety’s up up up real high.

Down below the monsters roam, jagged teeth and crushing bones. We don’t worry, they can’t fly. Tweet tweet tweet! my sisters cry.

Leave the forest, go to town. There there’s foodstuff on the ground. Peck peck peck a crumb of bread. Sugar sweet rush in my head.

Big commotion, voices speaking. I can’t understand the meaning. Peck peck Woah! a cart rolls through, kicks up crumbs and cobbles too.

On the roof I sit and watch, away from scary stomping mosh. A hundred ponies making noise,
clop of hooves and jangling coins.

Silly ponies, don’t they see? They’ll never be as smart as me. Time is not to spend or see. Time is flimsy flapping free.

There is no now, nor is there then. Time is not to see or spend. I see it now as plain as day. Time is here for me to play!

Hark we go into the sky. Flap flap flap and up real high. The ponies don’t speak birdy song. We sing, but they don’t sing along.

Flapping hard, the forest looms, the trees are carved with ancient runes. Fold my wings and dive down deep, fast so monsters can not eat.

Nest is near, the call rings true. Another day, another hue. Another is that turns to was, another song that I have sung.

Flimsy flappers filled the sky, falling leaves and lullabies. Tweet tweet tweet! my sisters said. Return to nest and go to bed.

Comments

[Mica]

Wow. I...

I love your easy-to-read, conversational writing style, which was the reason why I followed you. It's a style that I aspire to achieve in my own works.

This story is exactly what I love about your writing. You don't waste a single word. Every detail feels important, and the theme of the desire to fly ties all the disconnected stories together. Wish I had more to say, other than...great job!

[Mockingbirb]

JUDGES, DON'T YOU DARE READ THESE COMMENTS! Thank you.

I didn't entirely like the first paragraph (extended line?) of this chapter. (I don't think I liked the depiction of flappers as 'flimsy,' quite. I have a lot of opinions and feelings about birb things.)

But by the time I'd finished this chapter, I liked it a lot. I enjoy the way you depict the birds as simple-minded, but as birds doing bird things and having birdlike thoughts. I applaud your nerve (casual guts?) in writing your whole chapter in a particular style of verse.

The one thing I really didn't enjoy about reading this chapter was when I tried to go to the next chapter, and there was no more story. Because iirc the deadline for the Renaissance contest has already passed, I guess there won't be more later, either.

But maybe that's the way life works. There's always more, and never a real, final end...even if it takes reincarnation, or other forms of spiritual advancement or broader perspective to make it that way.

[ROBCakeran53]

10922752
SCREW YOU I DO WHAT I WANT.