This is an alternate ending on the story The Crimes of the condemned by WurkyWilk 358 0W0.
Its been a month since the utter destruction of "The Purest." The evil organization of highly racists unicorns hell bent on slaughtering all non-unicorns ponies and taking the throne for their leader have been completely crush before they can begin their plans of mass genocide and taking power.
The human prisoner wakes up from his coma and is soon visited by Princess Luna and Shining Armor. Though they are happy to see him awake. It would seem that they have much to tell the human about what happened after he was attacked.
The human will soon learn that his plan to help others nearly got Equestria destroyed. He will also learn of the many great consequences of his choices.
All which could of been avoided if he just did one simple thing.
I originally made an alternate version to the Canon version of the original story but I haven't gone back to it. So I decided to "Remake" it with this one and get straight to the heart of why I started writing that story in the first place.
This version will follow everything that happened in the original until Chapter 6 where this story begins.
I hope you enjoy!
While I can understand everyone still being pissed with the human's actions and Luna and Shining for going along without telling the truth, but somehow them being more pissed doesn't really make sense to me. I don't know, it gives a feeling that they all think lying is worse than murder, though I am sure that wasn't your intention. It just seems to give off that vibe to me.
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My intentions is to expose the major flaws in the human plan and its consequences.
The way the original ended. Never felt right to me. Due to how easy it is to take down the purest sooner.
In the original Celestia felt bad for what she did to him and that's understandable. But its because no one even tried to tell her the truth when they easily could of done it and drag this mess out for too long. Thus giving the purest a chance to strike. That things could of easily ended differently.
She should be mad at the three of them for doing everything they could to keep truth from her and judging her like they did. The answer was right there under there noses but they each did things that didn't help the situation at all and two ponies lost their lives for it and trust me I was just saving the worst for last.
You’ll see.
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I think it because their lying could lead to all that could of happened.
Like they said it was sheer luck that Rain Claw tried to kill him which lead to the truth being exposed.
Even then things still could gone bad, or worst.
Plus two Good Ponies died because of the lies, a preview to the deaths that would rain down.
I hope to see a scene where Rain Claw in a cell, Rain Claw I'm sure after hearing how his actions could lead tot he deaths or enslavement of his race would of destroyed him.
He be utterly hated by his own kind to the end of his days and beyond.
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I just find it a bit much they are somehow more pissed about his lies than they were when they believed he directly committed murder. I understand the serious stakes of his actions and that the storm, so to speak has only begun, but if the hatred was about the same, I would have been fine with it. I'm sure moving forward as more consequences occur, I will be more accepting of it.
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Then we shall see. After all this story isn't finished yet.
This first chapter felt a little like flogging a dead horse. There are should be more emotions than just anger and righteous fury. And more than one pony should be taking responsibility for their own actions and lack of foresight.
If his were justified like the purist were far older like the 3 tribes and had dream blocker for nightmare return it make certain to make a way to block it nand create magic, and his plan look like just had a simple answer just telling the truth were far wrong by the organization had hidden members never shown like having layers and multiple bases they probably thought also the other species that would help to free the princess and they have backup plan it were be a larger group of hidden unicorns likely from preuniting to know now equestria there likely other party had, even now his action were leading the correct path what force leading his common sense dull was harmony forcing this action to a less death population , would out everyone realizing he was right by hating those 3 of them the purist now have 3 less to ruling their plan on the surface, i wonder how their reactions , were be
Okay, dude. Do you have a fetish for adding to other people's stories? None of your stuff seems at all original. Just adding onto other stories. Some authors probably don't care. But still.
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I do have 1 story that’s purely original. “WAIT THIS ISN'T OVER YET” is the only one not base off another fanfic.
another story was a request by a friend. “OBJECTION!!! Spike’s Sacrifice was completely unnecessary”
But yeah everything else are base/Continuations of other fanfics. I just enjoy doing what I do and the authors are cool with it. I just can't help myself sometimes when a story captures my eye that sure as heck need a sequel or more inside depth.
Can't wait for next chapter
It's not badly written but it's not my cup of tea. I get you going for the human plan was not thought out well but it comes off like the ponies are beating a dead horse(excuse the accidental pun) and are more pist about the human lying then a genocidal death cult. They also acknowledge they screwed the pooch while seemingly trying to dump their share of the fuck up on him because he's human as if it was entirely his fault they went along with him instead of taking responsibility for their own actions in deciding to do what he said.
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All will be explored more deeply in the next chapter.
Why the long title?
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Why not?
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You want more emotion. Just wait until you see chapter 2
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And you will see those consequences first hand in the next chapter.
Very good, love it.
I do understand that it is still his own fault for being a self righteous idiot . BUT, I still CAN'T forget or ignore Celestia's and the other Guard's sins against him as well, when he was brutally beaten and all.
They AREN'T getting away with it either!!!!!!!
I know that he is a massive idiot, but he DIDN'T deserve to get those heartless beat downs! So, they should STOP saying "he deserve it", when they aren't saints either.
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Just another topic, I will touch upon in the next chapter.
Well, f*** her!!!!!!!
I still blame him for being a massive dumbass, but he still didn't deserve the pain and all!
Hello?
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Hi!
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Are you updating eventually?
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*Eventually* being the key word. I been working on other stories and I’m close to finishing one new chapter.
Hopefully, you won't forget to update the rest of your stories like this one.
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I haven't forgot this one at all.
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This would continue, right?
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I do plan on it. I just need to figure out how I want to start the next chapter.
Since we will go back to the night Celestia first learns the truth. I been having trouble on how to start it. I already know what I want to do for the rest of the chapter, it's just the beginning I'm having troubles with.
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You can hear helpful suggestions from other readers in here.
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It will be some time before its finish but I finally figured out how I'm going to tackle the prequel chapter. I long since figured out how the chapter will go; it was just the beginning I've been having trouble figuring out.
But now everything is in order.
I know this chapter is going to be very long, so it's going to take time to finish. But it will be all worth it in the end. That I can guarantee.