Welcome to main page readers! my name is Floral Essence (aka NinjaMare), and here you will find mostly HiE fics, among other kinds of fics. hopefully you all enjoy what I have to offer.
Page generated in 0.172 seconds
Total duration
745 users online
725,796 hits today, 2,454,720 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
in the title it says edited however i found several mistakes while reading, not unbearable mistakes mind you but mistakes all the same i suggest you get a new editor. good read overall though. best regards, darkbroney666
This is one long run-on sentence. Shorten it up into individual thoughts and less stream-of-consciousness. It will work better that way.
Nook and cranny.
Capitalize the first letter of the first word of every new sentence. That is literally the most basic rule of grammar.
I'm sorry, the grammatical errors are making me crazy. I cannot continue.
The ending left me wanting more.
Sequel? 👀
*Reads description*
Ah, I see you're a pirate when it comes to writing.
memegenerator.net/img/instances/71370113.jpg
10861972
i don't get it?
10861824
not sure. this was just a one-shot that came to me.
this needs MOAR chapters!
10862225
Well it was a one shot that left us with 4 unaswer questions on which you could work possible sequels.
-Fluttershy boltness and why so of wanting to had sex with him. I mean she didn't even flinch when he straight up caught what she wanted and only insist on wanting to had him as a boyfriend.
-Rarity date that he already agree upon.
-The idea of casual sex which also makes me wonder if this is a herd universe.
-If this friend with benefices will continue, and what will imply since she is a princess and could had repercursion of news spread of him laying with her. Again the casual sex things. Would Celestia and Luna would like to ask the same thing. Or maybe even insist more because for their size and their power maybe Anon would be the only one that could match or even beat their stamina.
-And finally would Rainbow Dash and AJ inclusion of him in their competition is their way of saying they are interested on him?
So yeah there are options for you to work with. Specially maybe Anon teaching his potential partners joy and sexual triumps the likes they have never experience before.
10862919
hmmmmm. i'll admit I never thought of these when i was making this fic just to give those watching my Page something to read while i work on my more established fic series. at the moment i have nothing for a sequel that touch on these ideas you laid out. but maybe if enough people ask, then I'll see what i can do.
10862762
if enough people ask for a sequel then maybe, but at the moment nothing is planned.
10862224
Proofread your story description (and the rest of the text, for that matter). Capital letters are not optional, believe it or not. This problem alone is a huge warning sign to any potential reader.
Also, check YouTube or some other source for tutorials on writing and storytelling.
You jump between tenses (sometimes within a single sentence). You often break the "show, don't tell" rule. You tell your audience things which they already know.
Yes. We've seen the show.
10863572
Sequel with Fluttershy, please
10864150
i get that my writing is low grade, i meant i don't get the whole pirating thing? are you saying that i stole this story idea from someone, and made it my own? that is what i'm asking.
10864455
we'll see.
10864849
I actually have a couple writing guides you might like. They're linked on my profile page, if you're interested.
10864849
Sorry. It's a joke from a very popular movie. 'Pirate code is more like guidelines than actual rules'.
Rules of writing are rules. Understanding them, following them (and breaking them on occasion if it's appropriate) allows you to write better stories.
10866929
ah.
It really was a good human x Twilight fic in the end, I love reading those as we talked about that in Pm, so thank you for making it.
I wonder if Anon will give in to Fluttershy, or if he'll end up dating Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity at the same time..
10881729
(shrugs shoulders)