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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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For one thing is that you don't need the / in the fiction. you could of used
^ which is [ hr ] together in one word. Just to make it much neater.
Otherwise then that I say it's seems good for a first fiction.
This was a good start to what seems like a promising premise. The biggest issues were with awkward phrasing in certain places and with sentence structure. I realize that English isn't your first language, and this story is pretty well-written in spite of that, but you should focus on overcoming those issues in the future. Beyond that, it was okay, but it seems like a bit too little to stand on its own.
I liked this story a lot, i hope this can go on, maybe it will. Maybe not. In any case i'll keep it on my "Tracking" list with the hope that this can go on one day. You have my support, i assure you that.
Oh, also! Mi idioma principal también es el español (te apoyo, si ves este comentario, no bajes los brazos. No te rindas).