• Published 4th Mar 2021
  • 2,771 Views, 20 Comments

A Fragile Sunset - Hotel_Chicken



Princess Celestia must seek out a "pony" she unintentionally wronged many years ago, and will have to live knowing that her good intentions had caused the mare untold sorrow.

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A Different Sunset.

It was calm in Hope Hollow, a quiet town where most ponies were content living their lives in solitude. Neighbors rarely spoke to one another, and the loudest conversations were simple hellos that were given with a half-hearted enthusiasm.

Princess Celestia, a mare who was often surrounded by smiling faces and cheerful voices, couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable watching the village from afar. Though, even if Hope Hollow was the happiest place in all of Equestria, she would still feel uneasy about what was to come, for inside the village was one of her greatest mistakes.

She trotted into the town, donning the appearance of a plumb colored pegasus with a silver mane as she looked for the proper address. Several ponies in the village gave her a long glance, as if they all knew why she was there. Celestia knew that it was only a figment of her imagination, but she couldn’t help but think that every pair of prying eyes had stared into her soul and seen the misery she caused.

Many years ago, Princess Celestia had sat by as an innocent creature was unknowingly lied to by everyone around her. Sunset Shimmer, the ex-student of Princess Celestia, had galloped through a magical mirror to escape her exile from the castle. Princess Celestia lamented the loss of her student, and soon rejoiced when Sunset appeared to return only eight moons later. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the mare that Celestia knew.

The Sunset that she met was a shell of her student, a mumbling mess of anxiety that called everything around her a dream or some illusion of her mind. She claimed to be a strange magic-less creature called a human, that she was only two-thirds her actual age, and that she had never once heard of Equestria. At the time, Celestia and many others believed that Sunset had been mentally afflicted by the mirror, causing her mind to reject reality and drive her into a fantasy of flying metal birds and other seemingly nonsensical things.

How Celestia wished she had listened then.

Celestia spared no expense to “help” her former student. Even if Sunset was no longer allowed to be part of Celestia’s school, the solar princess would take care of her ex-protege and give her the treatment she thought Sunset needed. It took many years for the doctors and nurses to convince her that Earth wasn’t real, that she was and had always been a unicorn from Equestria, and that her parents had died years ago, against Sunset’s claims and protests.

For years afterwards, Celestia felt good about her decision to treat Sunset, to give her a new start in Equestria as she waited for memories of a false past to never arrive. It wasn’t until her newest portage, Twilight Sparkle, had suddenly chased a cloaked figure through the mirror, that Celestia learned the truth.

Celestia forbade any of her friends from following after Twilight, fearing that they would succumb to the same madness that plagued the yellow unicorn. But, Twilight returned with news of the other world, and the mysterious assailant who she chased inside.

Sunset Shimmer, the one who had been exiled many moons ago, had taken refuge in a world of creatures that Celestia had only heard of once. It didn’t take long afterwards for Celestia to realize the implications of Twilight’s story, especially when her student described how everypony had a counterpart in the human world. And so, with a heavy heart, Celestia went to search for the mare, or rather woman, that she wronged long ago.

Celestia stood at the purple door of a rather plain house, her hoof inches away from the door as she held back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. The Princess of the Sun had two choices to make, to allow this mistake to continue so that the Human Sunset could continue living a lie, or to shatter Sunset’s understanding of reality once more and do everything in her power to help the wronged mare.

With one last breath, Celestia’s hoof connected with the door to call forth the home’s owner. Sunset answered only after a minute of silence, wearing a proper smile as she greeted the disguised princess.

“Hey there. You’re here for the plumbing, right?” Sunset asked.

“I’m sorry, but no. I’m here for something else.”

“Really? Damn, when the buck are they going to get here,” she muttered before sighing and opening the door a bit wider. “So, what brings you here, stranger?”

“I… I’m here to… It’s about Earth and---”

“Oh, you’re from the clinic huh?” Sunset asked with a noticeable hint of worry in her voice. “Well, if you’re here to make sure I’m fine, then I am. I haven’t thought of ‘earth’ or anything in years. I’ve been taking my medication too, just like the doc ordered, so I’m all good. Sorry you had to waste your time,” Sunset apologized as she tried to close the door. Unfortunately for the worried mare, Celestia’s hoof blocked it.

“It’s not that either, I’m… I’m glad that you’re doing well Sunset but… May I please come inside?” There wasn’t a hair of confidence in Celestia’s voice as she spoke. Any thoughts of how to approach the changed human vanished when she laid eyes on her.

Celestia had conjured an image of the mare in her mind as she walked into the town, a frail pony who would stand on weak knees, with a voice so soft that it would sound like a whisper. She imagined some shell of a mare, a pony who had seen the depths of Tartarus and given up. Sunset didn’t look like the sickly mare she imagined she would be. Her coat was pristine and her mane was combed well. She didn’t look like a mare who had suffered indescribable hardships, she looked just like any other mare in Equestria, as if Celestia had never touched a hair on her coat.

How many had Celestia unwittingly hurt with her good intentions in the past? How many would she find if she looked? Would they all look as normal as the mare standing before her, or would it be easier to spot her other sins?

“Well, I’m actually expecting somepony to come by for my pipes, winter’s coming and all that, you know? I’d be happy to talk some other time though,” Sunset explained with worry still lacing her words.

Celestia wanted nothing more than to push this off indefinitely, to forget about her sins and fly to the edge of Terra so that she could never be confronted by them again. But, as a mare who once held the Element of Honesty close to her heart, Celestia couldn’t allow her mistakes to continue.

“It can’t wait, I’m afraid. And, I… I’m so sorry, Sunset,” Celestia apologized as she prepared to tear apart Sunset’s belief in reality once more. Celestia would do everything in her power to ease Sunset into her situation, and would do whatever was needed to make sure that she would get the proper help and care she would need now.

She still doubted if what she was doing was right.

Comments ( 20 )

That's it?! This sounds like a cliffhanger! Also, I think Human Sunset won't be very happy when she learn the truth. I think Celestia deserves a Huge Slap to the face for ruining Human Sunset's Life. And screw with her mentality! :twilightangry2:


Also, Pony Sunset will be upset too. But, regrettable that she DIDN'T think about her human counterpart. Or didn't help her sooner.

Hey! I rememeber this idea. Glad it finally got a bit of light, even if very brief.

Dear Celestia this story!
It is so..
accurate to what i think would happen if a human came through the mirror, exception if they just "magicked" her brain back to "normal"

10706606
This definitely sounds more like the beginning of a multi-chapter work rather than a one-shot. The level of harm Celestia has caused is nearly incalculable. It's hard to see Human Sunset recovering from this.

A wiser Celestia might have tried to figure out what the "new" Sunset knows that nobody in Equestria does. Depending on how well the physics and chemistry align, Human Sunset could've singlehandedly kickstarted a new age of technology.

10706726

I think that the Ponies DON'T deserve to have our kind of Technology. Not yet at least. Because one: That will technically be "stealing" our ideas of our technology. Because Celestia probably "force" the poor Human Sunset to learn the information of our modern technology. Like some cruel interrogation of a extraterrestrial. But the cruel irony is that the Human ( Sunset) is being interrogated, while the Pony ( Celestia and her "doctors") are the interrogators.


IF Twilight, her Friends, Spike, or especially Luna, Pony Sunset and the Rainbooms (Human Main Six) have all finds this out. Celestia is in BIG, BIG, BIG Trouble!!!!!!! :twilightangry2: :flutterrage:

This is a great story plus it explains what happened to human sunset.

Wow the psychological implications are astounding. What kind of procedures would Human Sunset have to go through to get her to believe that she was never human? What spells did the Doctors administer before she finally cracked? Did Celestia inform those Doctors of the circumstances before destroying her psyche a second time?

It's a good start, but doesn't feel like a complete story in itself.

I can't help but feel that Celestia's sneaky approach is self-sabotaging. I can imagine Sunset saying to her shrink later, "Doctor! I had his horrible hallucination that Celestia told me my delusions about the human world were real! But I asked my neighbors afterwards, and they just saw some pegasus visit. I think we need to adjust my medication or something."

It's a bad situation in any case. She's missed out on a lot of schooling and built a life in Equestria. Either she's been declared dead, or the other Sunset has stolen her life. And there is the toll on her mind from years of medication and gaslighting. Still, a visit back home seems in order if just to reconnect with family.

Very interesting premise. People have done the human counterpart appears in Equestria thing before but never had them become institutionalized before.

If you ever write a sequel, it should be called "This One's for Sunset".

Emil #12 · Mar 5th, 2021 · · 3 ·

10706739
A wise Celestia would have been able to gently tease the material out from Human-Sunset as she helps H-S acclimate to Equestria (while secretly under heavy watch when H-S moves out of the castle). This might even help them figure out what Pony-Sunset was doing. There's a tremendous lack of patience and psychological understanding from this Celestia, which also doesn't bode well for the immediate aftershocks of her visit.

10708894

Well, I don't like it. And "gently teasing talking about the material" is STILL bad. Because this is obviously a psychological manipulation of the "Mr. Nice Guy/Gal" or the "Good Cop" of a interrogation tactic. And like I said. I DON'T want Celestia to take/steal our technological ideas. What If they want it the information to KNOW/GET our Weapons like Guns/Tanks/Jets/War Ships or something worse like a Missile/Nuke?!


I know Human Sunset isn't from the military, or smart enough to know the ins and outs of Human Weaponry. But considering that it's common knowledge for everybody on Earth to know guns. PLUS, you learn about Guns, and the past Wars in history class. It wouldn't take a genius that if Sunset unintentionally slip up with our technology. Celestia might be keen to learn about our ( Human) weaponry. Specifically Guns, Tanks, War Planes/Jets, War Ships/Submarines, Missiles, Nuclear Weapons/Nukes, Bioweapons, etc..

Which is obviously BAD for everyone/everypony.


Like I said. Just wait until Twilight, her Friends, Spike, Luna, Pony Sunset and the Rainbooms (Human Main Six) finds this out. Then, Celestia will be a DEAD MARE!!!!!!! :pinkiecrazy:

Also, LIKE this comment to have Human Sunset give Celestia both BLACK EYES for basically ruining her life. Technically kidnapping her from her Family/Friends. And SCREWING with her mental mind by brainwashing her. AND treat her like a insane person in a asylum. ( Which Human Sunset is obviously NOT the insane person.) 😈 😈 😈

This was pretty interesting. Any plans to continue?

10718344
Not really. I'm busy with school work and other stories right now. Plus, from what I've seen in the comments, I'm not sure many people would like MY take on a sequel. I'm usually the first to board the Celestia-hate train, but considering what she did and why she did it in this story, I'm a bit hesitant to string her up and have everyone just say, "you're the worst" and move on.

In this story, Celestia just found her student in a strange state, spouting seemingly nonsensical things and is trying to treat her appropriately with the health systems set up in Equestria. Granted, the health system isn't perfect, and many people get hurt because of incorrect treatment or inadequate treatment, but it's still one of the only options Celestia really had. If I had a brother who ran away from home and suddenly appeared in one of our rooms talking about how he was a pegasus that came from a magical land of equines, then I'd have to send him somewhere to help him. Some people in the comments said things like, "Celestia should have waited and tested Sunset on her knowledge of the other world to see if the logic was sound," and I just tried to think of the reverse. Again, to the brother hypothetical, if he comes in talking about a tall pony with a horn and wings who raises the sun and claims to have a job of maintaining the weather, then I can't exactly believe that, can I?

If I ever did make a sequel, it would explore the theme of guilt and the idea of doing the wrong thing unknowingly. Sunset, (the actual pony) would attribute some blame to herself, thinking that she never bothered to search for her double and that if she stayed in Equestria when her twin arrived then there would be a bit more credence to the other Sunset's claims. Luna, being the only pony who can look into the minds of others, would similarly take an unreasonable amount of blame for herself, believing that in the years that she's been back from the moon that she should have done more. Celestia is the worst when it comes to blaming herself, spiraling into a depression that would threaten to send her into a sudden fit of anxiety similar to one of Twilight's twilitisms. And finally, the human Sunset would, of course, be upset, attributing blame not just to Celestia but everything that walks on four legs.

This anger would be a coping tool to use to take her away from her nightmares, a way to find her purpose in a life that wasn't even hers to begin with. Sunset (the real human) would return to the human world and try to readjust to life with her twin as her guide, surprisingly not blaming her double as harshly as she would to a total stranger in Equestria. Human Sunset would give them both the opportunity to reconnect with their parents, since Pony Susnet's were already dead in Equestria, and the two would slowly try to build each other up with the help of five inexperienced teens and a trio of sirens who mistake the human for the pony and quickly latch onto her as her friend. As for how it would end, if the theme of the story is guilt and self-deprecation, then the moral is acceptance and forgiving yourself. Sunset (human) would never say she forgives Celestia, at least not verbally, and everyone has to accept that forgiveness sometimes can't be earned. The sirens would teach Sunset (Human) this by recounting their own tale of Starswirl the bearded, and how their exile could have easily been a death sentence from the old stallion. They would never forgive him, but they would understand him. Forgiveness is not always something we can give to others, but it is something we can give ourselves.

Maybe someone will come along and be inspired by this story and try to continue where I left it. Or maybe not, maybe this will always be just one of many one shots on fimfic. Thanks for reading.

Please wright a sequel.

10718915
The storyndoesn't need a sequel. For a short story it does a decent job of encapsulating the horror of the coming conversation. If you're going to write a sequel, you should also write about the parts that come after the most immediate implications. But that's a significant time investment.

I do think there are a few tidbits you could have chanhed to slightly fine tune the story and make the ending a bit more t more smooth. It feels sligjtly clunky, but it does convey the intended message.

I think this is perfect as a oneshot.
I'm not into Celestia hate. But depicting her highness as imperfect (forgive me, my liege), caring, and so preciously, preciously, equine... it was very intense. Thanks for sharing your words.

10718915
I wouldn't mind seeing more. But not the sort of thing that comes across as Celestia hate. No story should ever do that. Now the thing is, Celestia knows about Starswirl's mirrors being gateways to other worlds. She had to have known there was a possibility that this Sunset was not her student. But the portal was closed and wouldn't open again for a very long time. I can just see Princess Celestia explaining the issue to this Sunset and telling her that she would just have to accept her fate and provide her with counseling that slowly morphed into humans aren't real. I can even picture her going to therapy sessions with Lyra Heartstrings. Years later, Sunset has accepted her fate and has even begun to believe that the human world really was just some kind of fantasy her mind dreamed up. In walks Celestia to destroy her delicately balanced sanity. And the worst part, going home would not only mean abandoning the life she's built for herself, but the other Sunset has destroyed her reputation in the human world.

This is a truly tragic possibility. It's short, yet that's all it needs to hit the right emotional punches.

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