All The Ponies In This Land Are Crazy!
The pages of a flock of books fluttered as they flew past Luna, who was traversing Twilight’s dreams to see how she was handling her nightly duties. Of course, it was also to get back at Starlight for robbing her of the chance to give her former mentor, Star-Swirl the Bearded, a good talking-to, especially regarding his extremely outdated ‘once a villain, always a villain’ philosophy. As she trotted through the dream realm, she encountered a room floating in the air. Believing Twilight would be in there, she flew towards the strange room and opened the door. Her assumption was correct when she found Twilight on the floor in a fetal position as she was covered in paper notes and red strings. Considering how tall Twilight was in her divinely-transfigured form, it made the room appear smaller than it actually was. Above her was a pegboard littered with pictures of friends and foes alike tangled in the crimson web of strings. Her eyes bloodshot, Twilight ceased her quivering and shot Luna a bloodshot stare.
“What are you doing here?!” Twilight asked in a panicked tone.
“Just because I gave you the reins to the dream realm doesn’t mean I can’t visit other ponies’ dreams from time to time,” Luna replied, “And since my sister and I had been informed that you had locked yourself in the castle bedroom all week, I just wanted to know if you were feeling alright.”
“Why wouldn’t I be alright?” Twilight asked at a rapid pace, “Magic disappearing from Equestria. The pony tribes are fighting each other, to say nothing of how they are treating other races. It’s not like anything I’ve handled before except I had my friends to help me but since they died of old age, as most ponies do when they get old, I have nopony to help me with this!”
“Considering you are what the subjects refer to as ‘Twilighting’, I seriously doubt you are alright,” Luna replied with concern, “Also, I can tell you are still going through the grieving process.”
“Can I ask you something, Luna?” Twilight asked.
“Of course,” Luna reassuringly replied.
“WHERE THE FUCK DID I GO WRONG?!” Twilight shouted at the top of her lungs.
Luna was taken aback by Twilight’s sudden and surprisingly profane outburst, “Pardon?”
“Seriously, where did I go wrong?” Twilight said irately, “I united every single race in Equestria, especially when I sent Spike to make peace between the Abyssinians and the Diamond Dogs. For Celestia’s sake, I even managed to convince a sceptical student of mine why she should focus more on her friendship studies!”
“Uh…” Luna stammered as she tried to think of something to help the anxious alicorn.
“Or maybe it’s everypony else’s fault!” Twilight exclaimed, “Maybe after all these decades, Starlight might have actually had a point!”
As if to emphasize her point, Twilight slammed her hoof at the picture of the Windigoes pinned to her pegboard.
“If everypony knew what would happen when they started hating other ponies or even other creatures in general just for being different, then why do they continue to double-down on the hate?!” Twilight rambled, “Why can’t they turn the other cheek or make amends or let go?! If I’ve built bridges with guys like Discord, Sunset, Starlight and Tempest, surely everypony else can learn to move on and make friends out of their enemies! I’ll tell you why nopony else has even bothered trying to let go and offer a hoof in friendship. Because everypony is CRAZY!”
As Twilight hyperventilated after her long tirade, Luna casually conjured a paper bag and levitated it over for Twilight to breathe in.
“Perhaps you’re right, Twilight,” Luna said calmly, “Despite knowing the consequences, a lot of ponies do indeed fall back into old habits. I ought to know since, before my sister and I retired, I had the occasional bout of jealousy despite knowing what happened the last time I allowed my envious thoughts to consume me.”
Twilight sheepishly giggled, “Yeah, who could forget that time Starlight switched you and Celestia’s cutie marks?”
“I wish I would,” Luna muttered under her breath, “Now, you mentioned something about the magic of Equestria disappearing again.”
Twilight immediately went back into panic mode, “The magic! Ponies’ cutie marks are disappearing and pegasi, griffons and hippogriffs are falling from the sky!”
“Given how incompetent the guards were under my sister’s rule, do you think it’s possible that the magic-draining artefacts had been poorly guarded and therefore stolen by somepony who wanted to avenge Cozy Glow?” Luna asked, “Or because they wanted to remove the threat of the Windigoes by removing magic entirely?”
“All very good points that I thought about and I was going to replace the guards,” Twilight hastily replied, “But then I thought, if I replaced the guards, they’d eventually group together and try to overthrow me! I already had to deal with a bunch of crazy ponies that wanted to revise Equestria’s history because they thought I was going to ruin Equestria’s future or that the future in question was inconsistent. And you know what? I think they might have had a point!”
“Were they the same ponies that you told to eat manure not that long ago?” Luna asked, “Because I assure you they are not in the right regarding their attempt to overthrow you. They just couldn’t move on nor could they accept that the era they had treasured had long since passed and that it’s time for a new generation. Speaking of moving on, I believe now would be a good time to take a break from your royal duties so you could actually have a chance to grieve.”
“But who will rule Equestria while I’m on my break?” Twilight anxiously asked.
“I’m sure Spike could handle it,” Luna replied, “With some assistance from parliament, of course.”
Twilight curiously tilted her head, “You mean congress?”
Luna shrugged, “Same thing.”
After a long gruelling trek around Equestria in the hope of reminding everypony of the magic of friendship, in addition to finding out what happened to magic in general, Sunny and her friends trotted towards a cloaked figure kneeling before a memorial statue of the former element bearers. Given how tall the figure was, Sunny wouldn’t have been too surprised if it was Princess Twilight Sparkle paying her respects to her absent friends. Unsurprisingly, her suspicions were confirmed when the cloaked figure pulled down her hood and revealed herself to be the princess. She looked more weary and worn-out in person. With nothing else to give tribute to the sovereign of Equestria, Sunny pulled out a Twilicane and hoofed it over to the alicorn before her. Twilight picked up the sceptre and looked thoughtfully at it…
Before nonchalantly tossing it over her shoulder and fucking off back to her castle.
Post-alicornification life has not been kind to Twilight, has it? 
I'm laughing yet Twilight's my waifu.
Still gonna give G5 a chance, though. After all, it's pretty evident that the plot is simply a rough path in Equestria's history and that everypony will be friends again by the end of it.
Right? 
BTW, I was listening to this while writing:
Rather fitting theme for someone's descent into paranoia.
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Seeing as Equestria has regressed into the Three Tribes Era, I think it's safe to say Twilight is dead.
Either murdered. Or stepped down, and her successor was so bucking incompetent, that Equestria turned on itself.
Not sure which is worse. But it's Twilight's fault either way. Though being murdered isn't fully her fault.
I did notice you left out your usual self insert cameo here. Or I missed it.
10704760
Yeah, I did leave it out. Then again, I'm pretty sure I left Lion Dude out in the two stories preceding this one so...
10704770
I saw that. But I only thought of this one. Honestly, they're better without them.
Self inserts have never been good for a story. You made it work because they're quick.
Still stupid and don't add anything. But quick.
10704760
Now do you see why I was upset from before. I know G5 is New and all. But, having the G5 Setting is where all of Twilight's and her friends effects for Friendship, Harmony, and Equity went DOWN THE FRICKIN DRAIN!!!???
Yeah, it seems like the Pony Population either has Poor Memories to not remember the Mane Six's lessons for some reason? Or that they didn't learn the lesson to "REMEMBER History, lest it repeats itself".
I think I kind of like the idea of the three tribes been separated.
10704794
Sorry, but I disagree. I mean, look what happened to the era before Hearts Warming. Plus, the Windigos can come back for a third round?!
But, I guess the Magic disappearing is stopping the assault of the Windigos I guess?
10704794
Fun fact: That bit was a reference to a scene in The Last Jedi. Can't find the clip but you'd probably know which one I'm on about.
10704760
Obviously, she got her and so many others wish and died alongside her friends. Thanks, Fandom!
Funny! Classic twilighting.
Of course, at this point, all we can really do is try to speculate why the trouble that going to happen in G5 is happening. It could be anything from Twilight just being a far less effective leader than (most) think, to her being dead centries before the pony tribes started fighting.
Wait, Starlight's still around, despite the rest of the mane 5 already being dead from old age?
10704760
When being murdered isn't your fault. You go twilight! Lol
10704786
honestly, I know this might be controversial take, but has the pony population ever been say? Historically accurate? I mean we are always always surprised that a big evil is hidden?
That Celestia convientally forgot to mention her sister to the many generations after her disappearance? That this was not a deliberate act?
The fact that inspite of how things turn out in the show, Celestia really does not seem to want to advance society. Read educate the populace. I mean if people are educated, open to new ideas, and willing to change. Even aware of history I ask why would they need a God head at the helm? Truly? Who's to say that people as whole can not change if the people that are in charge won't give them the chance to show they can?
Because by the narrative of the three tribes and the G5. People can change. So why can't they change enough to not need a amalgamation of multiple ponies?
Why not set up a device for the sun to move on its own?
Or get I don't know? Discord to fix the thing? So one nation doesn't hold what amounts to horrible fate on any who do not concede to the pony nation?
After a implied threat is still a threat.
I wonder after all if Luna did any number on other country's that we never hear about?
10705220
Good point with Celestia forgetting to tell everypony ( especially the Main Six) about the potential Threats/Villains/Enemies that could have been a problem in the future!!!!
And Equestria is not exactly to have "Modern" Technology. They got Music Concerts and Trains. But NO Cars, Planes, Phones, or even "modern" houses or something?! Still Medieval Times with some "Modern" stuff in it. Having Advanced Magic AND even Technology can't be a bad thing to them, right?
10705247
Ah true. It does come across that way? I feel you. I guess soceitally? Like they still have nobles after a thousand years?
And based on probably false evidence. They suck. It just reads weird, that a immortal covers herself in gold, and talks a big talk about harmony.
But just over the mountain way, is a diamond dog slaver deal? or the fact that for being so harmonious the moment they see a Zebra, a town of ponies freaks?
Thats some series risk aversion culture right there. Not wanting to even associate with something that might be slightly different?
Ps. I LOVE TRAINS SO MUCH...lol
10705311
That is why I don't like it that in most MLP Stories in here. That a lot of Authors ( Mostly for the Displaced, Human in Equestria, Convention Bureau XENOCIDE/GENOCIDE, or even that "Your Human and You" SLAVE BS!!!) depict them as Xenophobic/Racist/Prejudice Jerks.
The MAJOR opposite of "Friendship and Harmony". And are just Huge Hypocritical A-Holes! It doesn't help that the other Creatures "Kingdoms" aren't as Rich, or very agriculture like Equestria is.
I mean, look at the Griffons!!! While the others got "okay" kingdoms. But, Ponykind of Equestria got WAY MORE land on the map than every Creature out their.
At least in the end, with the Main Six's help. Their is Equally for everyone, NOT just for everypony mind you.
But, when we see G5? The Ponies are divided into tribes for a unknown, but probably some stupid reasons. And we DON'T see the other Creatures in it??? ( Griffons, Dragons, Zebras, Changelings, Yaks, Hippogliffs, Kirins, Diamond Dogs, Buffalos, Minotaurs, Cats, Birds, etc..)
P.S. I do like Thomas. While I like some "War Train" Fics in here.
Teaches a good lesson for the kids. Everything is doomed to fall apart eventually, pray it holds together during your tenure.
Why does The Only Thing they fear, is you fit here?
I have no doubt this became an actual term at some point.
Also, the ending is hilarious!
It reminds me of a comic I had seen some time ago:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2021/3/6/2565579.png
Source.
10717926
I swear I never saw that comic strip up until now.
But it's good to know I wasn't the only one thinking it.
11415631
I know you're a bot but, because of your user-name, I read that in Samuel L Jackson's voice.
The only way it would have been perfect was if there was a "motherfucker" at the end of that last sentence.