Jeremiah finds himself in the body of Twilestia's foal. Daybreaker is there too trying to possess her. Jeremiah doesn't let her.
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 9th Dec, 2020
- offline last seen April 30th
Pegysus
Hello! I write stories and never finish them. Hope you enjoy whatever
Pegysus
Joined 9th Dec, 2020 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Bigou · 1.3k words · 66 5 · 1.7k views
- Boopy Doopy · 47k words · 354 22 · 6.6k views
- JamieisWaffles · 17k words · 109 9 · 4.9k views
- ATasteOfYellow · 2.8k words · 40 0 · 1.1k views
- The A I · 3.9k words · 86 3 · 1.6k views
- Mister E-Nonymous · 45k words · 178 8 · 8.4k views
- Crescent Pulsar · 22k words · 83 6 · 1.8k views
- Pegysus · 36k words · 180 21 · 4.8k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.137 seconds
Total duration
927 users online
441,575 hits today, 2,439,861 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
yus
This is great I just imagine Celestia realizing that daybreaker is missing and freaks out
interesting concept.
You had my interest, but now you have my attention
5 beings see the awesomeness that is a weird magical event, I have heard of this before, welp must be the new bearers. GG no re unnamed/named villian, whomever you are, when they grow up yous about to get smacked.
Well an interesting start. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
takes deep breath go on
The thing I can't wrap my head around is how one person can 'posess' two bodies at the same time while the alter-ego of one attempts the same thing on someone else
10700483
Jeremiah is not controlling two bodies at the same time. He's only controlling one. There's just Daybreaker in that brain of theirs too
I am expecting shenanigans and hijinks. I await patiently!
Deerman read ponestory, ponestory iz gud.
Gib deerman more ponestory.
Haha. Endurance predators go brrr.
Reminds me of ‘inside out’ I like the story nonetheless, can’t wait for moar
was the baby dead because neither of them were in control?
Did they have a baby through science or magic? by the way, I like it !!!
Her first words, "I don't wanna go to school~" XD
Are there three presences in this foal's mind, or two? Child, human and Daybreaker or did they overtake the child/filled an empty slot where there was no foal's consciousness?
10700570
I don't know how to adequately explain it, but the way I'm reading it makes it seem like he's in two bodies.
Seems like there's a misnomer going on somewhere, misplaced punctuation. I don't know. It''s one of those neurodivergant things I honestly can't wrap my head around, it's written in just such a way I can't make heads or tails of what it's supposed to mean
interesting premise and a good start for a story. I think I'll stick around.
10701507
Foals' would imply that there's more than one foal. But instead I write Foal's which means only one foal.
SAO ref?
10701654
*Eyebrow Wiggles*
10701562
That part I understand, the former being a possessive noun the latter being more than one. But the part that's tripping me up is what I quoted:
This has me thinking that one entity is possessing more than one person. And from what I could gather, it seems like jeremiah and Daybreaker are two entities possessing one body, being Twilight's.
So question for something more than likely spoilers.
How did Celestia and Twilight have a foal?
10701932
In vitro? And Twilight could cast gender change spell on her cells before connecting them with Celestia's cell. 🤔
Well you have my attention
Something's wrong with this picture... WHERE'S THE ZEBRA!?
10702722
In Zebreca
10702832
Well I hope she gets here soon. It won't be the same without her
10702722
what goes up must come down. where do you think it landed?
This setup looks promising. Although Jeremiah sounded too mature and cool head for an average six-year-old.
Cuteness is what I cam for and it's what I got. Glad to have read it. Hope for more soon though. Birthday party will be hella cute.
i hope for more, and i cant wait for a time when daybreaker gets to run loose or everyone finds out about her in the filly's mind
I had a lot of fun reading this!
So Daybreaker is a ninetails now...neat. XD
I think this story needs a sex tag and minor disclaimer for (particularly crass) language.
This sounds impersonal. It could be better if Tia used a nickname; for example: "Good morning, my little ray of sunshine."
This much better
This sentence isn't wrong per se but it sounds very strange.
This doesn't say anything about the term 'percent' so I'm assuming that was a spelling error.
I am enjoying this story quite a bit so far and would love to see it to completion. These are all just suggestions (and possibly a nit pick or two), feel free to ignore me if you disagree.
Err... you were six years old when you died. I would call you a child.
so when will she tell them about being human? I want too see there reaction
*dies from cuteness overload*
I love this
Oh wait no! It's adorable! [Insert generic heart attack/diabetes cuteness joke here]
Can't wait for Daybreaker to be the GRUMP ETERNAL! Post reformation.
Wow that was a strong opening. I love the set up as well as the set up who will be "Solar Storm's" friends in this story. Now I eagerly await when Solar meets and befriends the Thestral Colt, The Griffon Chick, The Dragon Hatchling (gender not specified), and the Yak yougling (again no specified gender). So when and how are they meeting? One at a time or all at once? I'm looking forward to getting to know Solar Storm/Jerimiah and your version of Daybreaker
10703784
True but i think he means talking and being forced to act like a 3 year old toddler with that statement plus technically he is 9 now still a child but an older child
10703784
10704329
Wait, I never say Jeremiah's age. All you know is he went to school, not what kind. Not to mention, I don't think 6-year-olds talk like he does
10704353
You got me there. BTW when does Solar meet and starts befriending the Thestral Colt, Griffon chick, dragon hatchling and yak you teased in the first chapter?
10704391
Wait and see, I play the slow game, so sit back and relax. Though, I will say that you will at least meet one very soon. And it's not the one you're expecting ;)
10704405
Ok thnx for the heads up but i might surprise you with who i'm thinking of lol. I am a patient creature i actually enjoy slow burns. Simply put i enjoy character and world building over action straight from sentence one unless it is used correctly because i want to immerse myself in the world i'm reading about. It gives me time to like and care for the characters i'm reading about