- Member Since 27th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen 30 minutes ago
AuroraDawn
haha rainbow machine go brrr
AuroraDawn
Joined 27th Dec, 2011 ·
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Usually I dislike it when a writer tries to use another author's style, but the voicing here was so well done I have to reconsider my previous stance. The prose really felt like what it would be like if Lovecraft wrote MLP fanfiction. (A sentence I never thought I'd type, but you made me do it.)
There's a lot to appreciate about this story, from the pacing to the tone to the use of cutie marks. I guess my biggest criticism is that it took some suspension of disbelief on my part to buy that it was Starlight writing like this. The prose evokes Lovecraft, but not necessarily Starlight. It wasn't that big of a hump for me to get over, but it was something I had to get used to.
It was definitely worth it, though. A great buildup to an amazing ending. This story really did a good job with restraint, There was some wonderfully horrific imagery, but it also knew when to hold back and let the ambiguity pull the weight.
Damn near every element of this story was spot on. I had a great time reading it.
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This is something I accepted would be likely the biggest issue with the fiction, but there isn't really any pony who would write like this, and I specifically went into it wanting to write this style. I'm relieved, more than anything, to hear that while it is indeed a downside to the story, it's not an insurmountable one.
Thanks for the comment!
I adored reading through this piece during the editing process, and it's just as good the second time through! Really great piece, Aurora; an excellent example of "brony horror" done right. I can't wait to see what you do next!!
A chilling tale that matches the structure and prose of some of Lovecraft's best works (with none of the racist undertones, thankfully).
I'm a fan of Lovecraft, but not good at putting the things I want to say into words.
I love it.
The innocent beginning, the descent into horror and madness...
More, please?^^
Looking back, so much could have been prevented if I had only told Twilight that this wasn't such a bright idea after all
Well now I'm curious what the spell was supposed to do, and what part they missed to make it go wrong?
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The spell was supposed to do what it was described as; take a cutie mark and place it somewhere else.
They didn’t miss anything, unfortunately. The spell page was deliberately destroyed in the past because it didn’t work, and killed the subject as Twilight had been killed.
This is why we don’t play with forbidden knowledge, children :)
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Well now I have to know why removing a cutie mark causes such horrific consequences??? O_O
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Cause I wanted to write a scary story :3
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Can't argue with that lol :p
I didn't know you still wrote fanfiction haha. Nice to see you around once in a while.
The story was very interesting, however I didn't liked the "plot"part.What was Twilight's reasoning to do the spell?Why would it be beneficial to remove a cutie mark and then add it later?And why would she volunteer to do a strange and potentially dangerous spell?
You know, as the person who drew the drawing of a template pony—image is shown below—that spawned this wonderfully horrifying idea, I possibly couldn't have asked for a better story than this. Every aspect of the story—the plot, the transformation, the outbreak, the containment and the downfall of the heroes, everything—was exactly as I had imagined, with your usage of diction expertly doing its job to recreate the style of H.P. Lovecraft.
Reading this story has made me want to puke and wonder why did I spawn that idea in the first place, a feeling that I haven't had in over a year since my early days in this fandom. Wonderful job, and always looking forward to reading more of your works!
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/746363831864787040/835419022635565067/image0.jpg
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Twilight's reasoning was perfectly clear in my mind. She just wanted to experiment, to further her knowledge of spells such as this. She volunteered herself because she didn't want to risk another pony, and she didn't think it would be dangerous at all.
That ending though, One-Winged Angel and Sephiroth come to mind.
This was terrifying but so intriguing at the same time. It's things like this the highlight the importance of documentation. If those ancient ponies had simply documented what happened and expressed why the spell had been destroyed, then none of this would have happened. Or at the very least, Twilight would have had a bunch of napalm ready.
Also, it's a very interesting concept of cutie marks. It's been established they they are a part of a pony's core being, but happens if you remove them? It's like asking what happens if you remove a person's soul.
I loved this. Just the right amount of horror to start my day with
Wow this is incredible. I thought I'd seen good Lovecraft inspired stories, but they don't hold a candle to this.
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Well put
This was a fantastic Lovecraftian style horror.