One
A loud siren broke the silence of the night. A black and white car emerged from behind a billboard, ready to pursue. The spinning lights penetrated the darkness while stealing the attention of the car that the lone cop was following. The yellow car began to slow and pull over to the side of the highway. The officer did the same, about thirty feet sooner then them. He stepped out of the car and approached the vehicle. On his way he could hear the usual muffled noises and voices from the car.
"I told you that you were going to fast!"
"Pfft... I was going the limit."
"You were like twenty over!"
"Shh! Shh. Be cool, he's here."
The officer reached the window and tapped the glass to get the driver to roll it down. The driver was a pegasus with a multi-colored mane. There was another mare in the passenger's seat, this one was a unicorn that was shaking uncontrollably when he looked at her. The officer was calm as he ever was on any other job, it's all the same to him. "Do you know why I pulled you over-"
"Discord is about to open the portal! He'll enslave all of Equestria if we don't go now!" The driver shouted.
The officer just looked at her. "License and registration." He stated, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
"Damn it." She cursed at her failed attempt at getting off easy. Her friend was rubbing her temples, ashamed that her friend just tried to pull that off. The rainbow pegasus searched the car, looking in the glove box and everywhere else for the credentials. She gave up her search and gazed up at the officer, smiling innocently. "As it turns out... I don't have it on me..."
"Ma'am, step out of the car." The officer commanded.
"Please, this isn't my car." She pleaded.
"Ma'am. Step out of the car." He was getting more aggressive with his request.
"Our friend is sick and we really need to get her to the hospital." She pointed to the back of the car. The officer peered in to see four more ponies in the back. There was a pink mare that appeared to be unconscious on their laps. They just smiled, sheepishly. The Pink mare seemed to be drooling a mixture of vomit and saliva.
"Is that an overdose?" The officer asked.
"She overdosed on... Friendship." The purple unicorn was obviously a terrible liar.
The pegasus slapped her. "She overdosed on sugar." She was more adept in these situations then the others, she seemed to be relaxed.
"You can't overdose on sugar." The officer said skeptically.
"I'm pretty sure that the great and powerful Trixy taught us that you can overdose on anything." The officer remembered that case and shivered from how disgustingly gruesome it was. It was like the monthly meth-head line up, but instead of meth it was semen and crayons.
"She overdosed on Rohypnol." A orange earth pony from the back blurted out.
"Applejack!" The pegasus scolded. "Not cool!"
"Sorry Rainbow, Ah'm the element of Honesty." She defended.
"You're the element of sucking dicks!" She snapped back before looking up the the officer and smiling.
"Rohypnol?" The date rape drug.
"She was really sleepy?" She reached. "She likes to party."
"I can see that." He commented. His radio interrupted his train of thought. 'Officer Daniels, are you there?' He ignored it for a bit to think. 'Jack, are you there?' He picked it up with his hoof and called in. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Officer Jack Daniels?" The pegasus murmured. "I could use some more of you..."
Jack took the hint and noticed a faint smell on her breath. "Have you been drinking?"
"Nope." She replied. Officer Daniels got the scent now, though.
"Step out of the car." He demanded.
"Com'on-"
"Now!" They heard a thud come from the trunk. He looked at her, she just shrugged at the noise. There was more banging from the trunk. "Open the trunk!" He pulled out his gun. He knew that way too many things were wrong now. He was sure that the pegasus had committed more then one felony. She complied and popped the trunk open while stepping out of the car. He moved to the back of the car, keeping his eyes on the pegasus. The trunk opened wider and a small dragon fell out to the ground.
It slowly got the strength to prop itself up, back to the officer. "Why did I have to ride trunk!?" He whined. "Why couldn't we have thrown Pinkie in there? I doubt that she would mind!" He got to his feet and turned around to see the officer with his gun out. "Oh shit!" He jumped back into the trunk and slammed it shut. The officer chuckled a bit at this and then decided that it wasn't something that needed attention right now. He returned to the front of the vehicle.
"So... Are we cool?" The rainbow pegasus asked, hopeful.
This made the officer smile one of the widest smiles he had ever had on the job. "Hell no." Before he could even finish that statement he grabbed her and put her up against the car's hood. As he was reciting the Miranda rights the pegasus locked eyes with her friends that were still in the car. She silently pleaded for help.
"Officer! Officer." A white unicorn stepped out of the car. "Please, isn't there something we can do to avoid jail time?"
"Is... Is that a bribe?" He questioned, cocking a brow.
The unicorn squinted and leaned in. "Would that help...?"
"No. If fact you're all going to jail until we sort this out." He Yanked the pegasus off the hood and guided her to his car. She was looking back to them begging them to try anything.
"Officer..." She scanned the area for anything to buy her some time. "...You know that our friend, Fluttershy here, can fit her whole hoof into her mouth." She informed him.
He stopped and turned around. "Is... Is that a bribe?" He was unsure of what she was saying. "I don't take bribes." He could see panic in the eyes of a yellow pegasus that was sitting in the back.
"I don't think of it as a bribe..." She tried to justify the proposal. "I think of it as..."
"Whoring." The purple unicorn spoke up from the front. She was almost crying with the thought of going to jail. "You're going to get us in more trouble!"
"I foresee three of you getting out soon..." The officer told the pegasus as he opened the car door. "Do you think you're one of them?"
"I doubt it." She admitted, one foot in the door. "Hey, Rarity! Maybe you should share some of your 'special gems' with him!" The unicorn gasped. "We all know that you found a different kind of rock that let you find yourself... I'm pretty sure it stained your coat!"
"You're just digging yourself a deeper hole." The officer warned.
"In for a penny, in for a pound." She said, reluctantly sitting in the seat. "Have you ever had a 'Sonic Rain-boom'?"He shut the door, refusing to be offered a sexual act again. Trotted over to the suspect's vehicle, he couldn't help but think that this was going easier then it should be.
Leaning in, he looked at the four inside to address them. "It's procedure to take you all to the station. Don't worry about it, though. I don't see any problems for you three. Although that doesn't rectify everything here, we're going to have to clear some things up."
"Thank you, sir." The orange mare said. the other two were too nervous to talk.
When he turned around, he was expecting to see the white unicorn, but saw no pony. He pressed his radio. "I'm going to need some back up..." He looked over to see the back doors of his car wide open without a single living thing within. "Shit." He sighed. He turned around to the car to notice that it's only occupant was a passed out pony. "God damn it." The thud of the trunk took his eyes off the front of the car. The trunk had been pried open. The pink mare was no longer there either. He was now the only one on the side of the highway. "Fuck."
If you liked it, like and favorite. Comments are always nice too!
If you did not like it, then why the fuck did you read it all?
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one view and two thumbs up. Seems legit. =p
Umm, kay.
Write to express; not to impress. I don't even have to read this story to figure out that it was written solely to get thumbs-up/views. Please write stories as a form of art instead of a means to make a name for yourself.
Very odd and very funny.
1212954
Never judge a book by its cover...
1212954 If your only writing to express then why would you even post the story online? The last time I put up a story a whole bunch of people got butt hurt over it.
1213046
I don't even have to read this story to agree with someone else.
I am not trying to be mean here or anything but, if your writing solely to impress people, the story is usually hollow and empty, writing stories is an art, its not meant to impress, its meant to make the reader feel emotions, to make them understand the characters points of view, to make the reader truly happy or sad or whatever the stories intended emotion is. Writing just for likes and to impress is a hollow story.
However I have not read the story and I can't say that this story is hollow or shallow, but still, try to keep these things in mind, I am not trying to be mean, but saying its just to impress, might makes a lot of people mad, people who write stories just to impress make me
Because they can be great writers if they just try to do it for fun.
1213046 There are some things that you don't put online; things such as personal poems/journals that you like to keep to yourself. But there are also people online that like to read good stories. Everyone loves a good story so it would be horrible if everyone kept every story/poem to themselves. So you can still write a story, expressing yourself in doing so, and post it online for people to appreciate or relate to. If you are going to write a story that is made only to impress people, then at least write something that makes it look like you were writing from your heart and not just out there for views/votes.
1212985 ...
If you see a poster for a movie called "Explosion death murder strike force 5" and the picture is of a war zone then usually the movie won't be about middle aged women having a tea party. The makers of that movie are obviously trying to make something that appeals to modern culture's need for violence in an attempt to make as much money as possible.
The same could be said for this story. It's called "License and Registration", it has a picture of a cop writing RD a ticket, and the description says that they get pulled over. Now unless the writer was writing a story about him and his 6 friends getting pulled over and kept everything the same, only changing the characters, then I would admit that I was wrong. Knowing this fanfic site, that is not the case. It's obviously a story written purely for views and ratings.
1212954 thats good philosophy on paper, but it doesnt always work out. Like commu-
are you a commie?!
!1213193 also, it makes people smile.
1213193
...All I'm saying is, don't judge something without having read it first. Sure it may be a story that doesn't have much to do with MLP in general, but is it really worth stressing over on how it deviates from the original? It could be for the sake of humor, or impressing someone as you've put it.
But aren't we all trying to impress viewers by posting stories we write? Why do you think websites like this exist? To show off our writing talent, our ideas, stories that are unique and satisfying or gives the reader a good time...
This one is obviously for the sake of comedy.
1213142>>1213134 Is this really going to be a discussion about why people write stories? I wrote this because I got the thought of it and like to make people laugh. Not because my heart just wants to share emotion and shit.1213193 I conqure, most stories are just for the views and likes. As is this one, although it does not mean it's not funny.
1213185>>1212964 I like these people.
They tickle my fancy.
1213459 Thank you. I like this guy.
1213414 Oh crap! He knows! *puts on cloak of invisibility*
1213459>>1213468 Good points. Sorry. I was just feeling a bit ranty and I probably shouldn't have said anything in the first place. That, or my other self decided to get a few words in before giving me back full control. Oh well; either way, I'm sorry for starting this.
It should have been MAREanda rights.
Was laughing hard on this story, this was very good and really had me chuckling, I can see Rainbow getting pulled over, but my question is this....how do they drive or work a steering wheel with hooves? Can you do more of this?
1214696 It was only suppose to be a one shot. Not exactly sure what I would do after this anyway. I think it would turn into some breaking bad pony edition.
1214118.... DAMN IT!!
1214851 True that
Funny as buck nonetheless, thank for the humor.
Oh Applejack, as one dimensional as you are, of course you're the Element of Sucking Dicks. It was a foregone conclusion.
Great story, I dunno why people are so angry or whatever over it.
More art spread by my personal favorite author?
...This was great! Now get back to 'Mind' and 'Convenient'! Mainly Convenient, that one's been neglected. Like an unwanted son.
That was funny.
This was a bit more...explicit then I was anticipating. That said, this was freakin' hilarious. Nice job!
I liked it
this is by far the funniest fucking piece of literature ive ever read in my life.
That was some funny stuff. I liked the way you ended it. Great job! Keep up the great writing!