Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie Play Battleship

by grvrfgvrfzgrd

Chapter 3

Pinkie Pie nailed Dash, and sent her hurtling through Cloudsdale, Dash was barely able to keep herself in the air. She frantically flapped her wings, and raced through the sky. Pinkie gave chase, ignoring the stares from Pegasi who were amazed at the sight of an Earth pony. Eventually, they made it to the edge of Cloudsdale. Pinkie, blinded by rage, chased Dash right off the clouds, and began a freefall straight to the ground. Dash knew that this could be her only chance to reconcile with Pinkie, and she swooped down, executing a Sonic Rainboom just in the nick of time, saving Pinkie.

Pinkie woke up, a little dazed. She asked, "If you don't like me anymore, why did you save me?" Dash replied, "I DO like you! I know I got worked up over the game, but I'm still your friend." Pinkie Pie pondered this for a second, then asked "So you don't hate me?" "Of course not", Dash said. All of a sudden, Pinkie sprung to life, back to her usual self. "Sorry, Dashie, she said". "No problem", her friend replied. "What do you say we finish playing Battleship?" Pinkie replied, "Ok, but don't think I'm going easy on you this time!" Dash laughed, and the two walked back to finish the game.

Comments

[FimFictionWriter012]

This is an amazing FanFic! Even for a first one it is absolutely awesome!

[fluttershywriter]

Pretty funny!

[Scribblestick]

Sorry, but I can't see Pinkie turning into a homicidal maniac just because Dash hit her with a battleship piece. Actually, I can't see her getting especially upset about that. And I can't see Dash getting that angry about losing one piece, either. There's competitive, and then there's psychotic.

It looks like you've fixed most of you spelling/grammar/format errors, so good job on that. Like 1206865 said, though, this story needs much more buildup, both for Dash's frustration and Pinkie's rampage. Keep working on it. The first fic is always the hardest so long as you're willing to listen and improve.

[grvrfgvrfzgrd]

@everybody Thanks for all the comments and constructive criticism, I will work on improving buildups, plot holes, and the like for my next fic.

[Adaptive]

1207999 Good to know and good luck to ya bud.