I reappeared high in the sky and started to fall, laughing the entire way. This was going to be so much fun! But first, I need a plan. It's one thing to randomly create a massive jungle out of the Royal Gardens, but messing up here would ruin any chance I had of becoming Celestia's friend. If she wouldn't be my friend, then Twilight wouldn't be my friend, and so on and so forth. Anyways, the point is I couldn't just rush into this like I had been doing.
“What to do, what to do,” I mused as I stared at the rapidly enlarging ground. “You know, I'm really having a hard time thinking with all this roaring wind, how about you?” I asked a bowl of petunias that had appeared beside me. I laughed as the bowl sprouted wings and flew away before teleporting to the ground. Despite my peaceful and quiet surroundings of an empty grass plain, I still couldn't focus, so I closed eyes and tried to meditate.
Almost immediately, my feet began to itch. I twitched and tried to ignore it. However, it got worse and worse, travelling up my legs and the palms of my hands. Stubbornly, I started to hum, trying to block out the feeling with noise. In response, the itching transformed into biting, as if thousands of ants had all decided to bite me at once. I jumped to my feet with a yelp and opened my eyes. My hands and legs were covered in fire, so I quickly peeled it off with my hands and threw the fire on the ground.
“Now where did you come from? Come on, speak up!” I demanded of the fire. It quickly shifted to look like a foal made purely out of flames, and it stared up at me with a quivering lip.
“I'm sorry mister,” the flame foal said, sniffing back sparks from it's eyes.
“HAHAHAHAHA, it's alive!” I yelled, throwing my head back and laughing into the sky. The flame foal just stared at me in shock and took a nervous step back. “Now little flame thingy, I bet you're lonely all by yourself. It's time I made you some friends,” I said, before the flame foal could run away. I took a swan dive into the dirt quickly tunneling nearly a hundred meters below ground. I spat out a glob of lava and quickly flew up the tunnel, a massive geyser of flame following me. I landed beside the flame foal as the fiery geyser erupted, with it's sparks forming new flame foals.
“There you go, lot's of new friends to play with. Now I've got to be going,” I said, quickly teleporting myself someplace else without waiting for a reply. “Now what was I thinking about before? Ummmmmm, right! I've got to get Twilight in love with Celestia,” I said to myself. “But I've got no idea how to go about this, and meditating on the problem sets myself on fire. So I'm going to need some help with this one. But who could I ask?”
I randomly flickered through space and time, letting the images form a blur in front of me. A flash of pink caught my attention and I stopped time, revealing a young Princess Cadence stuck in the middle of walking down a hallway. That's it! Cadence will be able to help me, she's supposed to be the Princess of Love or something like that, I thought to myself. I quickly teleported myself back to present time, and into Twilight's library. Alright, she's got to have a copy of a newspaper or paparazzi magazine around here somewhere, wait, no that's Rarity's thing. I popped over to Rarity's house and began searching for a newspaper or a magazine about the royal family. I found quite a collection of them, and though I was amused by the one claiming that Celestia had proposed to Twilight, I couldn't find any details about where Princess Cadence's honeymoon was at.
“So once again the paparazzi have failed to provide any useful information to anyone. I'm glad to know some things are a universal constant,” I muttered to myself as I paced. “Got it! The Royal Guard should know where they are at,” I snapped my fingers and disappeared.
I reappeared in the barracks, surrounded by Royal Guards, who immediately grabbed their weapons and attacked. So I transformed into a dragon, the impenetrable scales serving to deflect basically everything the Royal Guards could throw at me. It was going fine until one of them bucked me in the face, knocking me to the ground as the guards all jumped on me to try and hold me down. I growled and roared as I grew in size, shaking the Royal Guard off like a dog shakes off water.
“Where is Princess Cadence?” I yelled, the barracks shattering as I stretched out my new wings.
“W-w-who?” stammered out the guard currently held prisoner beneath my talons.
“Princess Cadence. You know, pink alicorn, has love powers, recently married to your captain?” I asked.
“W-we'll never tell you monster,” the guard said defiantly. The rest of the Royal Guard rallied and began to attack me once more, their spears bouncing futilely off of my scales, and their bolts of magic having no effect on my massive body. I weathered their assault for a few moments before sighing.
“Look, you aren't doing anything. I mean, ten out of ten for bravery, but I'm much too strong for you to be fighting me. I feel like I'm fighting a pack of toddlers here,” I said, gently swatting the guards with his wings and claws.
“The Royal Guard will never back down while a threat to Her Highness exists,” a guard screamed as he repeatedly kicked my leg.
“You know what? I'm done with this,” I said, clapping my hands and teleporting back to Twilight's library and promptly wrecked her roof. “Right, I probably should have changed back before teleporting, or at least not teleported directly into the library. Oh well, no sense crying over destroyed homes,” I said. I shrank down to Spike's size and grabbed a piece of paper, wrote 'to Cadence' on it, and rolled it up into a scroll
“I hope this works,” I said, breathing fire over the scroll reducing it to a cloud of smoke. It sat there for a few seconds before finally heading off. I transformed back and chased after it, destroying another wall in the process. I followed it across Equestria, until it finally arrived at a place where rainbows literally formed pools as they fell from the skies. I followed the cloud of smoke, stopping directly outside of an incredibly opulent building. I transformed back into a human before throwing the doors open and entering.
“Umm, how can I help you?” A mare behind a desk asked meekly. She stared up at me, her eyes wide but meeting my own.
“Hello, Ms. Note Taker,” I said, reading the nameplate on the desk. “I was wondering if you could tell me if this is where Shining Armor and Princess Cadence were having their honeymoon?”
“...Yes it is, but, um, what are you? Some sort of minotaur?” Note Taker asked. I smiled as some dark blue fur grew all over by body and two bull horns popped out of my head.
“Looks like it,” I said, smiling. “Now can I talk to Princess Cadence please?” Note Taker stared at me, mouth hanging open. I waited patiently as she rallied her thoughts to answer me.
“I'm sorry sir, but the Princess is still sleeping. Even if she was awake I'm not sure she'd deign to meet any petitioners. She is on vacation after all,” Note Taker said.
“Tch, that's right. You know, now that I think about it I don't really want to disturb her after what happened at the wedding,” I said, turning back into a human. “Oh hey, a breakfast lounge. I haven't eaten in...wow, when was the last time I ate? Anyways, I'm going to grab myself a scone.”
“Wasn't his hair brown before?” Note Taker muttered as I walked away. I payed no attention to her though, too caught up in the delicious smell of freshly cooked pastries. I had just started munching on a scone when a Royal Guard burst into the room.
“I have a message for Princess Mi Amore Cadenza,” he shouted. I stretched my arm across the room and grabbed his entire head with my suddenly enlarged hand. I retracted my arm suddenly, pulling the guard towards me in half a second.
“Now listen carefully. Princess Cadence is on vacation and is sleeping. She is not to be disturbed. Normally this would be the point where I'd let you go on your merry way, but really you Royal Guards have been absolutely ruining my day. So I'm going to flat out banish you to a nice tropical island with lots of food, water, and absolutely no way for you to get home. Bye bye now,” I said, tossing the shocked stallion through a portal. “You didn't see anything,” I said, pointing to Note Taker with a smile.
“Did I hear somepony call my name?” Princess Cadence said, yawning as she walked over.
“I didn't see anything!” Note Taker shrieked, bolting out of the hotel.
“Umm,” Cadence said, looking around. “Gah? What in Equestria are you?” she asked, point at me with a hoof.
“I'm a human, nice to meet you,” I said, smiling.
“Hi, do you know what was wrong with Ms. Note Taker?” Cadence asked.
“I guess I must have spooked her,” I said, shrugging.
“How so?” Cadence asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, just look at me, I'm tall, have patchy fur, beady eyes, and my arms are super stretchy,” I said, stretching my arm across the room again. Cadence's eyes went wide and she opened her mouth to speak but I kept talking right over her. “Yeah, it was probably the arms that pushed her over the edge.”
“Oookay, so Mr. Human, do you know who was calling my name?” Cadence asked.
“That was me. I heard you were in town and I have a question to ask you, but then Note Taker reminded me that you were on vacation so I should probably just leave you to relax,” I said.
“Well I'm just eating breakfast right now while Shiny sleeps, so feel free to ask your question while we eat,” Cadence said, grabbing some muffins for herself.
“Thank you, Princess. You see, a friend of mine is in love with another pony, but she's too nervous to ask her out. Can you give me some advice on how I can get these two together?” I asked.
“Your friend? Is she another human?” Cadence asked, popping a muffin in her mouth.
“What? Oh no, they're both ponies. As far as I can tell I'm the only human in Equestria,” I said.
“Doesn't that get lonely? Don't you miss your family and friends?” Cadence asked.
“No. Why would I?” I asked, tilting my head to the side.
“Because you might never see them again, and I'm sure you had a lot of good memories and times with them that you'll never be able to experience again,” Cadence said.
“Sure, but that's all in the past. The only thing that matters is the present and the future. Dreaming about the past is stupid when you can be making new memories right now. Anyways, enough with the philosophy. Can you answer my question please?” I said. Cadence gave me a look, but nodded.
“Alright, first off do you know if the other friend likes her back?” she asked.
“No, I don't,” I said.
“Well, that's a good place to start. If they like each other then you can invite them both to some sort of activity and try and give them as much time together as possible. If they don't like each other, that's when things get complicated. I'd avoid getting involved in that case,” Cadence said.
“Great, thanks,” I said, finishing off my last scone and standing up to leave. “It was a pleasure to meet you. Congratulations and have a fun honeymoon,” I added as I stretched my arm to the door, yanking myself out of the room. I had a place to start, and an excuse to talk to Twilight some more. This was going to be so much fun!
Your aliiiiiive
As 3872257 said, You're ALIVE!!! ....Now to read.
~Hearn
I enjoyed it, although a couple early parts were confusing like the random fire colts but I digress
I don't know why you guys are saying "He's alive!"
This break was super short compared to the last one.
I still wish Paradox end with a special someone at some point…you know…Luna its still available
Yeah, the royal guard is pretty useless, but my thoughts are on Paradox himself. At this point, my assumptions of Paradox being a complete, if not loveable moron are pretty much confirmed, but I have thought of something.
Maybe it's not completely his fault; I can't believe any human from our world could be like this and not be living in their parents' basement. So assuming he wasn't always crazy, it could be the chaos magic making him so. It would be easier to believe than this guy always having had trouble mustering even the basic levels of concentration and coherent thought.
Well, anyways, hope the next chapter comes out faster than the last and is good.
It's Alive! IT'S ALIVE!!!!
This was good, although I would have liked to see more interaction between Paradox, Cadence, and Shiny. I can definitely see them becoming friends without the bias against his powers the others have which could have had some very interesting consequences down the line.
Also, I think you actually portrayed the Royal Guard more positively than the show did. Seriously, we see some of them running in panic during the changeling invasion and some trapped in goo, but none of them are ever seen fighting back.
A 5 book trilogy you say?
3872382 Fimfiction has slowed down a lot lately, so the breaks are more heavily noticed.
You know, I wonder where Spike is during this whole ordeal??? :/
3872279
A little bit of confusion is what I'm going for. I feel it emphasizes the chaos aspect of things. (If I could figure out how to write it at all, I want to write a chapter in which Paradox breaks cause and effect, with one no longer follows the other.)
3872388
3873078
I still haven't decided. I'm leaning towards currently horribly lost in the new Canterlot Castle.
3873120 fair enough
I like this story I just wish that Forum Explorer would update the story more often
I hope you bring the guard back later... Just when he accepts his new life.
Wait, is it possible that he will run into one of the Elements wherever he was banished?
3873120
Lol, it should just cut to a scene where he's walking and just say "Guys? Where are you?" but all there is is an echo.
That, or him and Paradox talk a bit.
Some good topics that I see main characters talk to Spike about is how Twilight always leaves him behind on her adventures.
Maybe Paradox can send Spike on one to make him feel better? Perhaps to try and find where he hid the elements just so that way he has an important part for once?
Just thought of that since this takes place before the Crystal Empire.
Wow, this thing is brilliant!
I always love a good chaotic good HiE.
i.imgur.com/1TRpJyt.jpg
This felt really rushed.
Nice chapter.
Holy shit! You're not dead!
That series is phenomenal. For those that haven't, do. The movie is good, the books are better.
3872873 Your first point, I love it. Forum please let this happen if possible
Entropy, the transition to order via chaos.
3873120
On a completely unrelated note, keep up the good work. Don't do anything too stupid without me
3874156 To down vote for being mislead? It's not as if I hunt down shipping fics I don't like. I avoid them, but to dress one up as something I like only to reveal it's not. If i don't downvote something cause I dislike it, why would I downvote anything?
3875257
Well I'm sorry to hear that.
3875684
I'm not sure what you mean by being mislead. Are the appearance of the ships themselves misleading? Or those ships in particular? Because I did tag Romance on the story.
This complaint has come up a number of times now, so please tell me how I'd go about fixing this.
This story would be a lot more fun if you put riddles at the end of each chapter and don't post the next chapter until someone tells the correct answer. It'll give you time to write, and piss the fuck out of a bunch of people! It's a win-win situation! I can help with the riddles, if you want to do that :P. Oh, and if you do, PM me and delete this comment please and thank yous.
3876167 (Pinkie Pie voice)Ships or no ships I'm not going anywhere, and I consider that an awesome development since I used to hate shipping, awesome fic the first-person. You are awesome too.
You may have the best 5 book trilogy to read, but I have the best 27 book trilogy to read.
Really good chapter by the way.
Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy references for the win! Also, cadence was unusually calm about an entire new species asking her above love... was she high?
3876366
That there is a good idea.
Awesome update by the way, you should make more of them faster.
3877748 She was pre-coffee. I know I get unusually calm and honest before that nectar of the gods.
3876167 When I first read this, there was no warning of shipping other than the romance tag (and even then it doesn't mean it's going to be the focus). I came to read it for discords heir and the action adventure parts of the story, and it starts off that way, but then it shows that the discord's heir thing is just a subplot and framing device to make the romantic scenes easier.
In the end it's not even a good romantic fic, because it needed a contrived series of events to start the romance, as I said, it's not that hard to write romance when they are alone together (heck I wrote one of those when I was 12).
3878698 I have to agree with you wholeheartedly, when FlutterDash showed up I assumed that was what the romance tag was for and I could just let that sub plot slide even though my interest in it was limited at best. Then Celestia just comes right out of nowhere with her earth shattering secret that she loves Twilight (which seems very out of character for her, she just seemed like a love sick school girl last chapter) and now the entire focus has shifted from action to some dialed in contrived romance. This sub plot derails the story so much that Paradox's own chapter, the chapter that Paradox deeply needed and deserved, where we REALLY should be learning more about his personality, inner workings, past (that was bluntly swept under the rug though in a lost opportunity), and so much more. Paradox should have owned this chapter, but no. Instead he was hi jacked by Celestia and Twilight's inconsequential budding romance arc robbing him of character development and my interest
The beginning was great, but when shipping comes... well, I can tolerate RD/Shy, but Twilestia? WTF?! It's like... it's like shipping mother with her daughter! I hate this shipping! And it's OOC and very stupid! Celestia is more than 1000 years old, but she acts like early teen! Hatehatehatehatehate!!!!!!!
If I'd have Discord's powers, I'd erase Twilestia subplot of this story from existence and hypnotize you to make more Paradox chapters!
And about Paradox... even Discord can think straight when he want. Why you disabled Paradoxe's brain fully? It's a pity.
3878698
Pretty much this.
3878698
3879108
3879283
3879403
I see. Thank you for your input.
Now I'll try and address your concerns best I can without involving spoilers. Right now the Twilestia is in focus simply due to how the chapters arranged themselves with Celestia's chapter and Paradox's chapter being right after one another. It'll drop in intensity in later chapters. Similarly the Flutterdash will also basically be reduced to just the occasional moment here and there. I felt the need to establish the romance relatively early so it wouldn't be a surprise later.
Basically how I've got the story in mind is this,
There are the 5 adventures of the Mane 6 which can each be considered a subplot of it's own.
There is Celestia's and Luna's subplot of taking care of Equestria on their own as another subplot
and there is the romance between Celestia and Twilight as the last subplot.
and I think that's as far as I can go without going into spoilers.
Nice bait and switch, this is a story about Paradox and instead we get more fan-shipping....leave shipping to UPS, and write more Paradox. Jesus, don't make me say this...don't make me say it......okay I'll say it, you suck at planning stories out.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw8490_small.jpg
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw10424_medium.jpg
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3161_small.jpg
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw1380_small.jpg
1499996
3878698
3879283
3876366
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw5654_medium.jpg
I found this story really amusing... Though it could do with some more Paradox... Then again Its still a fine story and I can hardly wait for the next chapter. Until then I'll be waiting for even more crazy antics!
I require more updates.
3885153
I know.
I found the first picture more amusing then normal because I noticed it said disappoint and not disappointed. Steroids.
For some reason I see Cadence reacting to Paradox this way...
And Celestia, you spill your beans way too easily.
All in all, I say this one face.
Man that sentence made no sense....
I've got a feeling this story still has the potential to be good. Still creative as ever I see.
And to those who dislike or down vote due to the bait and switch (or whatever it was to throw you off), you're entitled to your opinion.
But, the way I see things is that there technically isn't such thing as a bad or stupid idea, merely there's just a wrong method of presenting or doing it.
I can't name things off the top of my head, but there have been seemingly B.S. ideas and/or concepts that have surprisingly worked out well. (Along side how the most random of things on the internet can become SO unbelievably popular that it is insane)
As a side note, it would be pretty decent for someone to take an idea that is either:
1. An absurd idea (something that most would disagree with)
OR
2. A concept that was attempted and failed (as per lack of micromanaging, resources, support, etc...)
...then take that and make it into something quite remarkable. (Avoid over glorifying, expending more than reasonable resources/money, etc...)
Okay, now I need to spend a few hours getting my own version of your idea out of my head. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Hm, hm, yes, yes, this is pretty good.
Now the only question that remains is, will it blend?
Nah, enough of that goofiness. Seriously dude, I enjoyed myself reading this, it wasn't grim dark, perverse, or cheesy, just a really light hearted take on Discord, so much so, that I actually prefer Paradox to Discord, he at least has a method to his madness, and seems to be taking an enjoyable, and fresh take on madness. On the flip side of this, Paradox is a walking, talking, living? breathing, demi Mary Sue, but within the context of the story, and that it's something of a comedy, at least, with his moments, it's made up for. Though, I would kind of like to see him have a few unintentional weaknesses, not ones that would defeat him, just small indulgences that he would use in excess, now that he has an infinite source of power (kind of like Discord and cotton candy, and chocolate milk). Or at least, something along those lines, just something to give him a little more character than infinite power, he's human, he's giddy like a school girl, has the imagination of your average brony, and now, the ability to exercise it, not to mention the fact that I am rather fond of him. You know, some obvious strengths, and weaknesses. I already have seen some already, and more will probably be presented as the story continues, but until I can be sure, I think this is something worth mentioning.
On the flip side of the story, that being the elements, and the princesses, I am rather enjoying their individual stories. While the individual setups for each character seem to border on cliche, the presentation is done rather well. Each one is rather tastefully and enjoyably presented, and I am kind of anxious to see how everything turns out. I figure that everything is going to work out, to maintain the tone of the story, but in a way, I don't want to see that happen, I would actually rather see them incredibly struggle with their actions, and the consequences of their decisions. Basically, a lengthy, and somewhat dark, characterization of them, as they're forced to grow beyond what they are in the show.
So, truth be told, there is a lot set up here, that I believe has a lot of potential, and from what I have already seen, it's going to be a nice, and quite the enjoyable ride.
Anyways, that's the two cents of a wayward writer, with too much time on their hands. Be sure to take it once a day, with a grain of salt, and a glass of water, then see me in a week. Doctor's orders.
3879468 Even so, you laid a LOT of shipping on thickly enough to insulate against a mid-sized solar flare... BEFORE taking the magnetosphere into account. If you're going to have heavy shipping and it wasn't advertised in the title and premise, at least make it spread out, even if you have to go the way of DBZ and give us 10 chapters of filler to dilute it. Who knows, maybe then Paradox could have actually gotten his chapter, rather than Twilestia getting a chapter that was named Paradox?
I haven't been knocked off the storyboat. Rustled? Definitely. Shaken? Assuredly. Jostled almost over the edge because the main protagonist lost a major chance at character development in order to cheaply further a minor subplot? Indeed, good sir. However, I managed to stay on the ship using three sticks of chewing gum, a half of a roll of duct tape, two paper clips, and 6.04 ounces of dryer lint. Having said all of this in an appropriately over-the-top and slightly allegorical manner, do continue, dear Sir Author.
This is a good story. Keep it up.
Update? :D
3874810
I still grieve over the fate of that poor bowl of petunias.
Update please :)