The Zebra Empire once stood at the pinnacle of the world, but a Vengeful Sun burned the once great empire to the ground and all of it's allies. For several thousand years, the remnants of this tragedy crawled their way back.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I love that Fluttershy is acting like some Insatiable Succubus. All those years of Suppressing her instincts must have Consumed her soul. Brillant.
Am i the only one that liked the previous version more?
Nice to see us getting down to the good stuff, and on what looks to be a VERY regular schedule! I could get used to an update on the 2nd of every month.
I have to say though, considering this is meant to be a more polished and refined version of a previously uploaded story, I'm a bit disappointed that certain bits of grammar and sentence structure haven't been corrected. I didn't notice much of anything in the first two chapters, but the third chapter has some pretty clunky text in places. Might want to have one or two people proof read before uploading next time?
Other than that, super pleased to see this story chugging along. Can't wait for us to visit the Apple family and Rarity, my favourite segments from the previous version.
10846776
Yeah some things still slipped through the cracks. Do you mind sending me a PM with what you noticed. Cause it can still be tweaked without re-uploading the chapter.
Thanks again for the solid comment and feedback
10847059
Sure!
I'll get on it over the next couple of days.
10848428
Thank you very much, It's greatly appreciated. If you see any in the future, you're welcome to do the same by sending them to either me or Holocron.
Zakia should run away from Fluttershy, not even him can handle her. Can't wait for more.