- Member Since 10th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen 12 hours ago
Kiernan
I left for eight years. Now I've returned, a changed beast.
Kiernan
Joined 10th Dec, 2011 ·
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i really do not understand the dislikes, this is fairly interesting.
10578915
Heh. Tell that to my entire library...
Tell ya what, you find the answer, you let me know, okay?
Even with the way the first story went and all the stuff in the spoiler tags, I still kind of hope there'll at least be a semi-happy ending
10580396
I suppose that depends entirely on your point of view. I plan for a wide range of emotions at the end of this thing. Depending on whose side you take, it could end well, or it could be infuriating, or it could be harrowing. I plan to feel all three at once, and mayhaps a few others, as well.
10580403
I'm mostly on Equestria's side in this case.
10580418
Alright
10580405
I like the ending so much that if I keep talking about it, I'll reveal too much and it won't be fun to read anymore, because everyone reading the comments would know. Let's just say that it's a complicated ending, weaving a complex web of emotions, and you may find yourself happy with a bad taste in your mouth, or angry with the sweet taste of vengeance. Or hell, you could just be happy. It all depends on your point of view.
No more talk of the ending, I can't keep my mouth shut about it forever, I'm too excited to see it.
10580426
Heh alright.
When gonna be zex and princss become wlling sluts and beg to impregnate them?
10582931
Let's break that down, shall we?
Zex, if I'm to interpret that as a portmanteau of "zebra sex," will be appearing when it becomes relevant to the story. As of now, there's nothing that particularly ties into that, so if I were to suddenly drop into that with no relevance for how it came to be there, the rest of my readers would suffer literary whiplash.
Nevertheless, this is a sequel to Entrapment, and I will absolutely tie back into that at some point later down the line, don't worry. Probably over a week away right now, though, so hold your ponies and enjoy the foreplay.
You're probably a fan of Shad's work. To each his own, I suppose. That said, In none of the messages between myself and Shad did either of us say that the princesses were doing this willingly. I know because after reading your comment, I went back and looked at all the messages exchanged since November 29th, that being the day Shad told me to do this project. The phrase "sex slave" appeared several times, but never the phrase "willing sluts."
I'm actually surprised that you thought that was the direction I'm planning to take this story, actually. Because that's not at all what I had in mind, nor is it what we discussed.
It's so strange. It seems as though you've intercepted the private messages between myself and Shad, but you didn't really read them. I have to wonder about you...
Or mayhaps you heard it from Shad.
Or mayhaps you've been reading all of Shad's work, and you're expecting me to just do the exact same thing that those stories do. If this is the case, I'm sorry to disappoint you. I don't write in a magic potion that solves every problem and makes things easy. I refused when I was told to do that in Entrapment, and I refuse to do it here. It's lazy, it's boring, it's unfulfilling and it insults both myself and the readers who were smart enough to come up with better plans.
Now, I did include pregnancy in my fetish tags, so you might have found out about it that way, but begging for it? When did I ever say that was going to be in this story?
In summation, I'm sorry the story isn't going the way you want it to. I apologize for the time you wasted reading the story up to this point. If you don't like where the story is headed right now, I promise that I won't be mad if you look somewhere else. After all, if I'm not fulfilling your needs, there's no reason for me to hold you down and force you to read my story, is there? It's up to you if you want to leave or keep reading.
10582931
10580427
I don't usually do this, but this is a special case. Due to some complications in the writing process, there will now be two endings. One is what Shad wants to see for an ending, the other is the one I was so excited about. There will be a link to a poll in the author's notes section of Chapter the Eighth where you will be allowed to choose which ending you want to see first.
Sneaky, but not enough it seems.
I wonder how many chapters this is gonna be, including both endings
10590973
Even I can't yet say.
We're four paragraphs into the outline, with five more until the split. The outline for both endings is two paragraphs each, with an extra sentence tacked onto the end of one.
Granted, that means nothing, as sometimes one sentence in the outline can end up as two chapters, and other times, a paragraph of outline barely reaches seven hundred words.
If I were to guess, I'd say we're about a third of the way through. I promise, the sexy part is coming soon. We're almost done with the foreplay.
Wow
... Celestia f
cked up beyond royally right there at the end... Almost like she doesn't even appreciate the effort her own soldiers put in their job. Unlike certain five civilian's with fancy necklaces.
10600351
Three. Three civilians with fancy necklaces. Though I understand there being some confusion. In Entrapment, Fluttershy and Applejack disappeared. That has yet to come up as a factor in this story, but it's coming up soon.
But yeah, she was trying to upset him to a point where he would falter. She was hoping that his weakened state would make him break. Not her best idea.
As for the treatment of the guards, both she and Steelhorn are correct. Just in different contexts.
Interesting direction to take this.
I wonder how many chapters are left, considering not counting the bonus chapters of the first one, this has almost matched the first one in chapter count
Interesting direction to take this.
I wonder how many chapters are left, considering not counting the bonus chapters of the first one, this has almost matched the first one in chapter count
10613210
An interesting thing to note is that, in the first pitch for the story, this part didn't exist.
I was asked to put together a story where a minotaur king impregnates the three princesses in Canterlot. They also wanted it to be a sequel to Entrapment. These two thoughts were not cohesive. This is how I connected these two stories.
Be honest, if I didn't put in the zebras, would you be able to tell that this was a sequel to Entrapment? I mean, it has the same theme, but if none of the events in Entrapment mattered at all, what makes this a sequel?
As for how much longer, two more chapters for this plot point, then on to the seventh paragraph in the outline. Then the eighth should only need one or two chapters; it's important, but not long. The ninth follows, then comes the split. Prince Jericho and Chief Steelhorn are the keys to that split.
Unless something changes, the director's cut comes next. What fun that will be. It's also the longer of the two endings. It even has an epilogue planned already.
Then the studio cut. I'm not looking forward to that one, but at least it's blissfully short.
In summation, I think this would be about halfway.
10613230
Yeah, honestly without the Zebras, or even just the scene with Dash talking to Shy, it would be hard to tell.
Whew... only halfway.
Then again, I guess that makes sense, considering the split
10613239
So, I've been considering the reason it took so long to reach this point, and I blame the setup. Out of the three stories I've written for other people, there's erotic activity, but in order to reach it, there has to be an amount of setup.
Sibling revelry has an easy setup. Two sibling have sex in their parents' bed. The setup only requires that they be in their parents' house while their parents are out. Not a hard setup to do.
Entrapment was a little trickier. Applejack and Fluttershy need to be kidnapped in such a way as not to be chased by law enforcement. Then they have to be carted away to someplace where they won't be easily found. That's a good seventy-two hours worth of work in-universe, and should be depicted as such. To that end, it's a fair journey before we really dig into the meat of the story.
Finally, we come to Quashed. Of the two sentences that made up the original concept for the story, the first was a tall order. It begins with "A minotaur conquers Equestria," which means I need to have him take over. Have you ever toppled a nation and converted it into a puppet state? Not really an overnight task.
Putting two siblings in a house alone takes an afternoon. Kidnapping takes the better half of a week, if done correctly. Conquering the entirety of Equestria is going to take a fair amount of time.
10616507
I mean... depends on how effective the conquering needs to be, and the tools they have at their disposal, but I get what you're saying.
I know that, based on the basic description for the story, that the Crystal Empire's assault is very likely going to fail, but I kinda hope to see at least one ending where they manage to succeed (that's very unlikely to happen as well, but at least I got that out of my system)
10619366
*writhing on floor, tearing at hair* Must... not... spoil... endings!
I wonder which was it that ruined the negotiations? Zebra or a Crystal pony soldier? And was it an honest mistake (like finger slipping off from the bowstring), or on purpose? Which still is a big no-no when negotiating in a war/military-situation. Its pretty much like spitting on the "Flag of Truce"(AKA: White flag when negotiating).
10620654
I'll give you a hint: guns might go off on accident, but a bow must be drawn in order to fire. If you're in line and wish to be ready at a moment's notice, you can nock an arrow, but why exert your 65 pond draw weight when you're in a ceasefire lineup?
The real question is, who gave the order to fire on the minotaurs? Who didn't tell their men to stand down if the princess actually showed up? Who was a mere fifteen centimetres from hitting Princess Luna? Who would risk such a shot? Am I actually going to answer any of these questions?
Yes, I am. But not yet. And probably not all of them. Even the ones I do answer might not be satisfying answers.
I'm more on Jericho's side here
10622161
That was intentional. You're supposed to like him.
Well, despite being one of the commanders in charge, Shining sure does not think over the situation like a smart leader trying to avoid unnecessary bloodshed. And zebras most likely will not take that stabbing well...
10622178
I kinda already liked him before, but Shining was being a bit of an idiot here
Shining, lost!!!!!
Spike and Cadence just to save this war, if you know that Twiligth has been broken up there is no force in the land that will stop it.
Man, Shining's going to flip even MORE when he finds out Jericho did what he couldn't
10625375
Those two have a few conversations incoming, don't you worry. I wonder what will come of this?
No, I know what's coming up. Astute readers might even be able to guess what's coming in chapter 37...
Shining is screwed, if Cadence what Shining did screwed up, zebras buying his part of the deal remembering that he made the deal with Cadence and not with Shining Armor.
Yeah, Shining, you deserve this.
10626999
Fans of Dante can tell you the name of the lowest circle of Inferno. As one wades into Cocytus, they shall see Shining Armor, up to his neck in Antenora. This will be long after passing Steelhorn in seven alpha, myself in six, and Jericho in two. Assuming we don't all end up somewhere in eight, that is...
And here we go.
You've won a battle for a city, yet lost both your honor and wife.
Yeah, he deserved that.
10630040
That pretty much finishes Shining's arc, too. We're almost to the split, as well, so there's not a whole lot of story left.
Speaking of the split, as I write this, literally no one voted for the studio ending. Six votes for the director ending, eight came forward to say they just wanted to see both endings, which is what I was going to do anyway. So we're going to see my preferred ending first, the director's cut.
10630048
Wow, somehow that doesn't surprise me.
10630064
I mean, I'm glad that people wanted this ending first, but I expected at least two votes for the studio ending. One from the guy that complained about there not being any sex early on, and one from the guy who didn't like the original pitch for the ending.
Ah, well. Like I said, the director's cut is the one I wanted to begin with.
Here's the rub: Since I'm biased, I refused to vote. Among the fourteen voters, I'm none of them. I didn't want to skew the results in my favor. It ended up in my favor anyway, but that's not the point.
10630076
The fact that you didn't vote also doesn't surprise me. Authors usually don't participate in the polls for their own stories.
Here's hoping that Hornburg survives. If not, I think ponies most likely end up facing more vile enemy from the minotaurs, that Hornburg was under fire from. But that's just my opinion. (Partially due to lack of good minotaur-centered stories here.)
And here we go.
Huh... I kind of feel bad for Steelhorn, that's a pretty way bad way to go.
10634584
This was my second favourite chapter to plan out. I knew from the beginning I wanted Steelhorn to die in exactly this way. Some of the other ways I planned for was Jericho chasing him down and knocking him off the cliff or having him carry Celestia and Luna over the mountain, and Celestia pushes him off the side. In this scenario, she'd be tied up, and Luna would have to choose. She'd save her sister, obviously, but in the end, this is the one I chose.
Directed feedback request: How did you feel about Steelhorn, as a character?
10634589
He was... pretty interesting.
While I don't think forcefully taking over Equestria to get the army he needed was the right way to go, at least it wasn't going to be a permanent takeover, and his reasoning for needing the army made sense
10634606
I was trying for a benevolent, yet brutish idea. He genuinely loves his subjects, and would do anything to keep them safe. Even horrible, terrible things. I wanted him to be villified, but definitely not evil. Humanize him, you might say. I wanted readers to either love him, hate him, or both. To definitely feel something when he was gone. What they feel was up to them, but that's supposed to be an emotional event. Not how he went, but what he was doing when he went.