Plight of the Traveler

General Grant

General Grant #1 · Nov 20th, 2020 · · ·

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That was really enjoyable. Cute, and surprisingly moving at the end there

Zvn

Zvn #2 · Nov 21st, 2020 · · ·

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10542112
Thanks, homie. I like doing a little cute stuff every now and then.

Pete100

Pete100 #3 · Nov 22nd, 2020 · · ·

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Although it was a little confusing, this was still good.

Vaalintine

Vaalintine #4 · Nov 23rd, 2020 · · ·

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Nice but doesn't have the intended effect, given Twilight doesn't seem to actually care about him with how she ditches him twice while dragging him to some ruined town that holds no real signifigance for him. She may as well have been taking him ti go watch paint dry.

Zvn

Zvn #5 · Nov 23rd, 2020 · 2 · ·

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10544250
Glad you liked it. If you're curious, check out some of what I say to Vaalintine, it might help with the confusing parts.

10545283
I'm gonna respond to these concerns on two levels: one, for surface level character motivation, and two, for the meta-plot.

Right from the get-go, it's apparent that Twilight cares about this place a lot more than the traveler, true. I wanted to show Twilight's real nerdy side, and to do so, I thought it would help to have someone else there to contrast it—e.g., the traveler not really knowing what the big deal is. Twilight withholds a lot of information because she thinks it best for the traveler to experience it first hand, and probably because she wanted to be a little smug about it in the end, too. If the caverns weren't literally right next to them when the traveler emerges out of the thicket, then she probably would've explained everything right then and there. But she did at least trot nervous circles into the dirt, so I'm sure losing our protagonist wasn't intentional, and she instead just got caught up in her own excitement.

Now, from the other side of things. This story was inspired by the shocking amount of fresh blood I've seen come into the fandom, the infamous 'Is this fandom still alive?' posts, and more importantly, the 'Did I join too late?' posts. So while the traveler certainly doesn't have memories of all the art, stories and music this community had made, it's still recommendable that they experience it before entering into the parts that are still thriving. For context, if not inspiration.

Pete100

Pete100 #6 · Nov 23rd, 2020 · · ·

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10545378
Who’s that?

Zvn

Zvn #7 · Nov 23rd, 2020 · · ·

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10545482
Sorry, I just mean Anon, or the reader.

Vaalintine

Vaalintine #8 · Nov 23rd, 2020 · · ·

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10545378
Ah, that makes a great deal more sense. At least in terms of the motivation behind the themes, still kinda fsils to have the intended effect. I think Twilight coukd do with a more engaging/sincere attitude, as she seems to be showing things off more for herself than Anon. Basically, you can lead a gorse to water but you can't make it drink. If you try to force it, you won't quench its thirst and it'll probably kick you. I guess that's why I was hoping he woukd just say no to Twilight and head back the way he came, because she wasn't making it enjoyable for him.

Pete100

Pete100 #9 · Nov 23rd, 2020 · · ·

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10545562
No, I mean who’s vaalintine? That’s who you said to look for if I was confused, right?

Vaalintine

Vaalintine #10 · Nov 23rd, 2020 · · ·

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10545667
No, they said to read the part where they were respinding to me because that would also answer something you said/asked.

Zvn

Zvn #11 · Nov 23rd, 2020 · · ·

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10545667
Oh lol, the other guy in the comments. I just meant look at my reply to him. My bad.

10545283
That would be a real downer ending, huh? I think Anon does start to appreciate some of the beauty of the village, even if that feeling is a bit tempered by the fact that they'd never see it during its heyday.

But I don't think Anon really minds watching Twilight get lost in her excitement, especially since it's an easy setup to rib her a little. It's really not until the fountain that Anon gets bothered enough to say something, and incidentally, that's also when Twilight finally offers some words of comfort.

But yeah, might be a little narcissistic of her to hold onto the big reveal until the end. She'd probably planned the entire thing, and you know how she can get with her plans.

Pete100