Based off of the the Dysphoria series! We follow a human who is a transwoman, yet still looks male, her name; Quill Ink, or in her world, Emilia O'Kelly. Emilia tries her hardest to fit into pony society but struggles with her transition. She goes to a local ponyville library, she finds a series of books called Dysphoria, a tale of a transmare known as Evening Rose who struggled to fit in and finding her place in this world.
Page generated in 0.126 seconds
Total duration
1,110 users online
1,638,000 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
My quick take: this story is described by one word - prototypical.
This is a problem so common that it's basically the standard problem that comes as a package deal with transgender stories. They reflect the popular conception of a stock trans experience in a stock trans character. The problem here is that "I'm transgender!" is not, in itself, a story, but stories want to treat it like it is.
Stories need to be about individuals and about their perspectives on their individual experience, not about assembling stock plot elements from a standard checklist associated with "being trans" or any other particular attribute of the character.
Part of this is down to the opening chapter being so short that there's very little space to explore the individuality of protagonist. The story rushes to establish a trans narrative based on bog standard trans elements (family rejection, dysphoria, secrecy, and so forth). Another part of it is probably as a result of this, unfortunately, being the usual trope that these stories simply end up falling into, because it reflects the mold society has cast the popular concept of "transgender" into.
But this, IMO, is a great disservice to trans people. It strips them of individuality. Writing about them in this way, as checklists of experiences, isn't quite blackface (and certainly not as intentionally mocking or malicious), but it feels akin to it sometimes.
I'm not sure of how many friends you have that are trans based on this story. Just as well I've gotta agree with Winston on this one. It felt like a checklist of things that are perceived as a widespread issue for all trans people but most of these experiences are individual. Most transphobia is online. In person most people are pretty chill, even if they disagree. Have parents completely rejected their children for it? Absolutely. But that is not a guaranteed case, just as well as getting bullied and/or breaking arms/legs isn't the case. The latter being even more rare.
Having been friends with trans people and going to parties that have had trans people at them, I've seen them distance themselves from others more than others distance themselves from them. I recall a specific time where we were all getting drunk, some 20+ people at this house partying. The trans person there sat on the couch and wasn't really speaking to anyone, while the person they came with was in the middle of the crowd. I several times extended invitation to join in, and others did too. I don't know if the person was shy or what but I know that there wasn't any type of hate for the duration of the party that would have made this person reluctant to join in on the fun.
What I'm getting at is, this story already feels forced in the first 1k words. That doesn't at all mean give up on it or delete it. My two cents, for what it's worth.
10686256
It's weird because if you think about it, I don't think anyone in Ponyville would care if somepony was trans. They'd be totally fine with it. I mean, they let big mac run around in a dress and a fake southern bell accent to help applebloom in a competition (and you know somepony HAD to have seen his balls at least once).
I think what would make this story interesting, or this concept, is maybe have a human coming to ponyville and trying to do all the secrecy and so forth stuff, but subvert the narrative by having the townfolks be like "what do you feel like you have to hide yourself for? we don't care" and have it be like a juxtaposition between the reaction the character is expecting and sued to from the human world to being totally accepted in the pony world over the course of a few chapters.
10686545
I am trans myself, hun <3
10686545
This is also kinda a story based on my own experiences and whatnot! I want to show viewers that life is not all sunshine and rainbows even in a fantasy pony world that is LITERALLY sunshine and rainbows >.> I'm writing in a more "realistic" way of someone who wants to hide what they are and who they are after having so many issues. This is going to show up in later chapters and Arcs, so I hope you stick around! :D
10686256
As I said to another veiwer, I myself am trans and this is going based off of my own experiences! Things will get better in further chapters! This is will all make more sense once other chapters and arcs are out!
Great start to a very interesting story. Just an FYI I myself am male to female pre-op transgender and I relate to this story on quite a few levels
Not really getting why this story is getting so much hate. Granted, I’ve been out of the writing game for years and just reading for fun but I don’t see anything deserving of the reaction it is getting.
I’ll get the negative out first. This does read a bit like it might be your first story. Part of it might be that it is a very short chapter which makes it so you kind of rush through what would be really emotional parts. Part of it might be that it’s a very personal story to you, so since you know how you feel and you can visualize everything, you’re not adding as much detail as you should.
That said. You only get better by writing and by posting. So keep it up.
You already did the very brave thing of deciding to share your writing which is a very personal act to undertake. The first chapter has established the basic premise and introduced us to the main character. That’s all it needed to do. The rest will come as it comes.
I’m looking forward to seeing this story continue and to see you improve as a writer as you develop it. Just don’t be discouraged ok?
Had I gotten this much criticism on my first outing, I would have probably quit and my story was hella tropey, especially starting out.
I really don’t want to see that happen here. The world needs more writers and people deserve to share their stories.
Don’t be discouraged.
10692378
Oh, I'm not discouraged! imo, if they don't like this story and judge it JUST by the first chapter, then they are free to leave :) I am writing based on events that happened to me and what my family's reactions have been and for the most part, not a detail has been left out! :3
The first chapter is just to introduce the main situation and whilst she was scared, but soon she will find it easier to deal with in future chapters and Arcs :3
Love love love the concept! I wish there were more human in Equestria stories with trans elements. Can't wait to read more!
10707154
Thanks! I'm having a bit of writer's block sooo i'm taking a break from things for a bit. I'll get back on it around next week!
My only problem with this story is this wall of text and some spelling mistakes
This fiction has a nice idea to it... it still rough on the grammar though but. You got to start somewhere and this isn't that bad.