Chapter Closed
“You’re right on time, Princess.”
Flurry blinked. “On time?” she asked. “For what?”
“We just-!”
A small explosion of light and noise appeared right in between them- a hailstorm of thaumic discharges, a very powerful teleport. Some part of Flurry’s mind absently noted Starlight’s weapons- including spells- flashing back up again while her own horn charged for some devastation, before she even realized what had arrived.
It was Prince Blueblood, layered over with so much spell armor she was sure he was basically indestructible. He was standing on a bloodied earth stallion.
“Say that again,” he snarled.
Flurry blinked, and looked again. It wasn’t an earth stallion at all- that bloody spot on his forehead used to be a horn!
“I will not!” the stallion gasped defiantly, struggling to stop Blueblood from crushing his one good leg against him- all three of the others were already badly mangled.
Flurry raised an eyebrow.
“Interrogation Chamber,” Starlight barked, so suddenly that Flurry jumped. “Now.”
Blueblood looked up, then he looked around, apparently surprised by the number of armored ponies around him. And by just how many of them had blood on their weapons- Flurry had noticed, before she had landed, that at least half had, despite only being in the fray for a couple seconds.
As for herself, it wasn’t until a good number of them sheathed their blades that she realized they’d drawn them once again.
“Lightning, Spitfire,” Rainbow ordered, and the two mares stepped forwards, while Blueblood stepped back, off of the crippled stallion.
“He was the leader,” Blueblood informed them. “Said that once they got Flurry, it’d be impossible to bring the others back.”
Flurry tilted her head. “Once they got me? So it’s possible right now?”
Blueblood nodded. “That’s what it sounds like,” he told her. “For as long as you’re safe.”
Lightning Dust and Spitfire dragged the stallion mercilessly up the steps and into the Castle of Friendship, past Starlight, who watched them pass before she started disarming her weapons and spells once again. As she did so, Blueblood also started lowering his various spells.
Flurry took a deep breath, and let it out, before looking up at Starlight. “On time for what?”
“We caught one of the participants from the last attack,” Starlight informed her. “He talked about twenty minutes ago. He told us how to block that curse they’ve been using.”
Flurry nodded silently. “Convenient,” she stated. She then called up her own magic, using a holographic projection spell, and drew the memorized spell matrix in the air in front of them. “I memorized one of their spell bolts.”
Blueblood stepped closer. “That’ll make things easier,” he muttered.
Starlight also stepped up. She narrowed her eyes at it for a few seconds. “They’ve been sent across the dimensional barrier,” she stated. “Bound to some of the inhabitants there, who have gained their powers. If those they- their vessels- make it back to Equestria, and make physical contact with somepony that was struck by this spell but got reflected back here by their prospective host- meaning you, Princess- the other Princesses and Chrysalis will be instantly reconstituted exactly as they had been before, including their powers. Their vessels will not lose their new powers, nor will the return of our Princesses affect them, physically or magically, in any way.”
“How do you know?” Flurry asked.
Starlight pointed at a few points in the middle of the matrix. “Those are ‘notes modules’,” she stated. “They shatter the moment the spell begins its work, with no effect whatsoever. They’re usually used to document how a spell works- makes it easier for it to be improved later.” She snorted. “And a spell this large can’t be cast by hoof, only by thaumic pattern storage and recall, so they are preserved when it is used- up until it hits something.”
She blinked as Starlight named the very technique she’d used to memorize it. “Okay then.”
Blueblood scowled. “Does it say anything about Luna?”
Starlight looked at him, one eyebrow raised.
He shrugged. “I’m a bit rusty.”
She rolled her eyes. “Nothing at all,” she stated. “We think that spell came from the Deep South, so Tempest is headed down there to find out.” She glanced at Flurry. “Discord told us he could break it and get them out, but they likely wouldn’t survive it.”
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Fair enough
Please don't let this die i adore it and to many stories have stopped updating or have been canceled. I hope to keep reading more amazing work from you.
I suppose there is a delicate balance between power growth and plot development. If the main characters grow too strong too fast, it trivializes the plot, especially when the story is intended to go beyond 10,000 words. Maybe it might have helped more to have the growth of the characters come in stages as the plot develops. Plan each stage and what comes with it. If the story is going to last a while, then their growth should be stretched out accordingly. The plot needs to remain significant so you don't keep throwing your ideas into the waste bin full of OP characters and trivial plots.
11200460
Definitely. I need to do something a little more like Accidental Invasion... By now, chapter sixty-something (and at 150K words), Hailey is already far more powerful than she was even here- but the plot is still thundering on, because magical prowess and mental prowess are completely different things, so she had coping mechanism after coping mechanism, then finally a psychologist...
If/when I rewrite this, that will be a part of it. I'll probably rework exactly how the power transfer works, and focus more on the backstory of each character as well, not just Harry's and the "transformation-forwards" thing. I'm also going to avoid having a whole long story take place before they ever go to Hogwarts, that's a particularly annoying trope.
Though I suppose, whenever I start writing TF, it's going to have a whole, lessee, two story arcs with three sub-arcs each before they ever go to Hogwarts. But Hogwarts is not going to play a significant part in that story- there's another, um, four story arcs planned after Hogwarts. I just need to finish working out the plot, and figure out how to properly start the story!
i feel this story is great but as you want to in time do a full do-over i will sit back and watch and wait.
11200444
It will be rewritten at some point but not right now.
11200531
Ditto
11200473
Makes sense
No!!!!!!!! *faceplant*
I completely understand. I really liked the premise. Can't wait to see the rewritd
I just hope that you don't abandon the premise of the story and come back to the rewrite the fresh ideas.
11200539
Correction: It will probably be rewritten at some point, though not now.
It's a very strong probably, but it's not a certainty. I'll be waiting until I've got Accidental Invasion caught up to where I want it (in terms of backlog, it's getting mighty close already) before moving on to other stories... When I do, I'm going to be working on Starbound Flight and TF (Still not releasing the full name of that one), before looking at starting rewrites of other stories.
It's entirely possible that SF and TF will both offer me writer's block, which will dissappoint a lot of people- but if it does, things like a rewrite for this are what would get my attention after them.
Perhaps the biggest challenge with this premise is coming up with a decent plot for it. To date, every story I've written that didn't have a preplanned plot (everything except AI and SF, TF also has a planned plot but hasn't been published yet) has died prematurely from the same issues this one died to.
11200753
Okay. Still right now your focus seem to be on The Accidental Invasion so any planning for anything will wait until that story is finished I assume.
11200939
Not finished, it's still a long ways from that. But caught up to where I want it to be in terms of backlog, which it's really close to right now, yes.
... Which it's reached right now, actually. I've got enough chapters floating around to carry me two weeks without shorting my patrons, and as soon as I finish this transition chapter that's flowing right now, that's going to be three.
11200753
Okay, I understand your reason. I am looking forward to reading the rewrite once you have constructed the proper story line you see is the right one.
Experiences do give us new perspective every time we learn new things. Nowadays when I take a look at my old works, I cannot help but think 'why the heck did I do that' or 'why didn't I do it like this'. From my perspective as your reader, as long as you do not abandon your story, I think it is a better move to stop your current one if you feel it should not go on rather than make it worse with more inconsistencies.
I'll admit, I'm a little sad that your canceling the story, but I think I get it. Also, thank you for adding in that last chapter, it may not have been what you originally had planed, but it was so funny and much better then just ending the story on a mild ciffhanger and leaving us to tear our hair (names, feathers, ecsetera) out wondering what could have been.
Looking forward to reading the new (diffrent) version!
11282018
You're welcome. I like to make it a practice to publish everything I have written, including partial chapters like this one, whenever I cancel a story.