Unwanted

by Apple Blumpkin

Chapter 7 - Rainfall Chaser

"Even the finest sword plunged into salt water will eventually rust." - Sun Tzu

Chapter 7

Rainfall Chaser was having a bad day, and it had just gotten a lot worse. When the Royal Guard sent over a messenger saying they had found Filthy Rich’s body, Rainfall Chaser had been crushed. It wasn’t just because it meant that she would most likely lose her job over this mess, but Rainfall had genuinely looked up to and liked the stallion.

News of Filthy Rich’s death weighed heavily on Rainfall’s back. She couldn’t help but feel that was happened was somehow due to a failing on her part. Rainfall was, after all, head of Sun Wire Inc., the private security firm which was responsible for the security of all of Filthy Rich’s holdings.

Rainfall Chaser’s body felt fatigued; the last couple sleepless nights coupled with the long flight she was currently on had begun to catch up to her. It had been awhile since her daily conditioning as a member of the Royal Guard, but she was no slouch and the training had a way of never completely wearing off. She was flanked by two other Pegasus, Raindrops and Thunder Reach. Both pony were younger and faster fliers than Rainfall, but they were both wearing Sun Wire’s signature full black barding. They looked just as tired from flight as Rainfall felt. In her haste, Rainfall had forgotten her shaffron (pony helmet) and crupper (plot armor). This was one oversight she was happy for; her lighter load allowed her to set the pace.

As the trio approached the large estuary near Hoofington, Rainfall put aside her mental draft of her impending resignation letter and put her attention back to the investigation at hand. After a quick fly over, their destination was easy to spot. What looked to be a full platoon of Royal Guards was gathered into one area of the woodland surrounding the water.

As she landed, Rainfall Chaser expected to be greeted by a member of her old major crimes unit, but upon a brief check of her surrounding, she found nopony familiar. That is, until Shining Armor himself came trotting up.

“Rainfall Chaser,” Shining Armor greeted her with a salute, “It has been too long. I wish we could have met again under better circumstances.”

“Captain, no need to salute, I’m a civi now,” Despite the correction, Rainfall still returned the salute. Old habits die hard. “Or should I be calling you ‘Prince’ now?” Rainfall managed to ask with a bit of playfulness despite the circumstance.

“Captain will do just fine. We actually weren’t expecting anyone to come out here. We were actually just finishing up and about to head back to Canterlot,” Shining Armor motioned offhoofedly toward a Pegasus drawn wagon that held an ominous pony sized black bag in the back of it.

Rainfall couldn’t help her investigative training, repeated words like ‘actually’ always set off warning bells in her head. However keeping in mind who she was talking to, Rainfall quickly dismissed the suspicion. After all she had never served directly with Shining Armor, She knew the stallion well enough as he oversaw all of the departments, and she knew his character well enough to call it exemplary. It had to be in order to become Captain of the Royal Guard, after all.

“I’d like to see the body before it gets moved anymore,” Rainfall requested.

“Well, like you said before, you are a civi now. That would be against protocol…” Shining Armor trailed off as he scratched the back of his head, “… but all things considered, I suppose it couldn’t hurt.”

As the group made their way to the wagon, Rainfall Chaser had a better chance to inspect her company. She recognized a few, but had never personally met any of them. They all bore the special armor insignia of ‘Celestia’s own’, a golden phoenix inlaid into their peytral (chest armor). They were the elite of the elite, and they handled all of the ‘delicate’ missions for Celestia. While they certainly had their uses, Rainfall Chaser would not consider ‘murder investigation’ to be one of their specialties. In short, Rainfall had no idea why they were there.

Rainfall, still flanked by her own two agents stood on one side of the bag while Shinning took the other. Rainfall couldn’t help but feel thankful when Shining’s horn flared to life and he used his magic to unzip the bag. She was worried that she might have to do it with her mouth.

The body was most certainly Filth Rich. It was mildly bloated and discolored. They had obviously fished the body out of the lake, but for the fact that the body was still recognizable, it hadn’t been in the water for too long. Of course, it smelled of decay. Rainfall was no stranger to the smell and didn’t even bat an eye at it. Rainfall Chaser couldn’t help but notice that Raindrops quickly turned away from the body and began to breath faster through her mouth. Sun Wire had picked up Raindrops from a weather team instead of the guard; this was likely the first dead body she has seen on the field.

“What can you tell me?” Rainfall asked Shining while keeping her eyes on the corpse.

“Not much yet,” Shinning replied with a sigh, “there is some residual Changeling magic on the body, so that’s our first guess. We will know more after the autopsy.”

Rainfall hadn’t heard anything about any Changeling activity for nearly two years now. Ever since they were defeated in Canterlot, all reports were that those that survived went into hiding and have been licking their wounds.

“He was beaten before he was killed,” Rainfall stated. Rainfall couldn’t help but notice that Shining Armor flinched ever so slightly at that statement. The bloating and discoloration had done a good job hiding it. Rainfall leaned in close to examine the marks closer.

“Like I said, we will know more after the autopsy,” Shining Armor said smoothly.

As Rainfall looked up at him from the corpse, she couldn’t help but notice that Shining Armor stood a little more ridged than he had before. Raindrop couldn’t be certain, as much of the evidence had been ‘washed’ away, but the markings looked a lot more than just a simple ‘beat up.’ They looked like the markings of a Royal Guard interrogation.

Rainfall sensed the small change in the ambiance. The warning bells began to go off again, but this time they were much harder to ignore. Thunder Reach and Raindrops, to their credit, felt something off also and stood tense.

“I think that is enough for now,” Shining Armor said calmly, but gave away his nervousness as he glanced quickly at one of his team before zipping the bag up.

Rainfall didn’t initially respond. All her good sense told her it was time for a tactful retreat, and she was a sensible mare. Putting on her best smile and backing away from the body bag, she took one last look around at all the faces of the Royal Guards.

“Thanks for your help, I look forward to any new information you can find,” Rainfall said as pleasantly as she could.

“Of course, I’ll send along anything that we find,” Shining said with his own smile, the tension seemed to be ebbing away.

“Before we go, why are you here Shining and not back with your wife in the crystal empire?” Rainfall knew the question was a bit presumptuous, but she wasn’t in the guard anymore and could afford to be a little crass with her questions.

“Princess Celestia personally asked me to do this; after all Filthy Rich was a good friend of hers. I just wish I could have given her a better outcome,” Shining Armor said with a genuinely sad smile.

Rainfall didn’t have a good response, so she gave a small nod and took off. Followed closely by her two escorts, the trio began the long flight home. It was already past mid-morning and it would be closer to noon by the time she got to where she needed to go. She had a painfully short list of suspects and proper authorization would be needed before she could investigate any of them. With Filthy gone, Hauteur Wreath would be the one to make these decisions.

Rainfall needed to increase the guard on Diamond Tiara also, so she could leave Thunder Reach and Raindrops there. She already had two pony’s watching her, but given her last failure, she wouldn’t be responsible for another. The last report she had gotten in on the girl was that she had returned home after a night of drinking with a friend. Rainfall couldn’t exactly remember the ‘princess’s’ age, but she remembered her being far too young for that sort of activity. However, it wasn’t her place to judge.

‘Tartarus, now that Filthy is gone. That little filly might be my new boss,’ was a thought that Rainfall couldn’t help but think. There is no sense in telling your possible boss what they can and can’t do…

“Hey chief,” Thunder Reach interrupted Rainfall’s thoughts as he flew alongside her, “What happened back there? And why do I have a feeling I don’t really want to know?”

“Probably because you really don’t want to know,” replied Rainfall as she looked behind her for Raindrops, whom had fallen behind slightly. Raindrops had a bit of a vacant, far-away stare going on, and her normal jasmine colored coat had a slight green tint to it.

“You ok back there Raindrops?” Rainfall couldn’t help but feel a little for the poor filly.

“umm... y-yea I’ll be fine,” Raindrops focus returned as she caught back up to the group.

“Good, because our work has just begun, next stop Ponyville.”

Ignoring the burning in her wings, Rainfall increased the pace. Her lack of knowledge and confusion added to her urgency. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but she knew it was big.

Author's Note:

yeah, the story is gonna start soooon.
extra chapter to celebrate!

Comments

[Decrylian]

I'd like to imagine that this is what happened

[Apple Blumpkin]

2656703
Hahaha, that made my night.

[Dash The Stampede]

I like where this is going! But one recommendation I have:
Try not to insert fancy words or Earth places in place of the locations and armor. Sure, they sound cool, but it just threw my tempo off when reading, kinda like having Twilight there, inserting all those parentheses into the story.

I admit that while original work is usually better and more reactive with the readers, having an edited story usually helps gain audiences.
also, cigarettes and booze + first graders? interesting take introducing tobacco. in an adult themed pony world, I believe tobacco could be a large source of Equestrian income! if they smoked the way they eat their apples, the 'bacco companies would be rich!
"Trixie sees an opportunity here!"

Complaints aside,
I love DT stories involving the Crusaders, and especially when you capture the conflicts and little nuances of each character and how they eventually somehow fit together!

[Apple Blumpkin]

2656769
thanks for the recommendations. As for the locations... i honestly meant to add pony names to those.. this chapter was a bit of a rush, but I saw my story on that top ten list thingie on the front page and decided to rush it. If ya can think of a pony lake name I'd be happy to change it. As to the armor... i completely forgot what the fandom has been calling it so i just looked up the words in wikipedia. lol.
As to the editing, you are def right. However, I have a hard enough time keeping focused to write something ... and what little focus i can muster seems to go away when I should be editing.
While I see the CMC as maybe 3rd graders, I still agree they would be a bit young for it. Sounds like the 'bacco industry is something that filthy should own :hrmmmm:
Also I completely forgot about trixie, and trixie def has a easy fit into this story... thanks for reminding me and expect to see her in here thanks to you.
I'm also glad you think i've capture some nuance... I feel as though I'm failing at it pretty bad, but I am trying. Thanks for your comment! -ab

[Dash The Stampede]

2656817
Do you need an editor? because I'm always on fimfiction and since my own story is on hold from writer's block, I could look over your chapters and find corrections and message back my suggestions and ideas. You dont need an editor, per se, but it would certainly help this stay in the feature box!

I'm always free so let me know what you think

[Apple Blumpkin]

I feel weird asking anyone to spend their time on one of my stories. I'm thankful if people just read it tbh, even if they hate it. However if you are volunteering, I'd be more than happy to accept any help. Feel free to shoot me any ideas too... i can't promise i'll use em, but often i suffer from writer's block too. Even though your story is on hold, I'll be reading it shortly... :)

[Apple Blumpkin]

2657215
First of, I'd like to say that, in the past, I have avoided fanfiction because the level of critique is often insufficiently articulated to provide the critical feedback needed to progress as a writer. However, I have found this to be surprisingly untrue in the ponyverse. I started this particular fic as a sort of joke. It had no real direction beyond a simple simple ship. However, I found myself blown away by the sophistication and insight that I've gotten through the comments. One of the reasons this fic took such a long break what because I had to actually think of a story. The other of course is because i'm massively lazy. If it were not for insightful commenters like you and others, I wouldn't have bothered extending this fic past the two day adderall binge that it was born from. So, Thank you.
As to your comment, I believe you give me far too much credit. While my ego loved the 'purest form of writing' bit, I'm not sure my realistic side feels it can live up to some of your praise. I will admit that I skip a lot of what would be visualized and leave that to the reader. Particularly because we are writing in a established universe. I will confess to doing some of it on accident. It is a trait that a lot of my non-fanfiction shares. That by itself isn't all that bad of a thing however my impatience that you (almost) feel in the words is a bit worry some, and I'd be interested in advice in removing that bit of my writing.
However concise development with alternating reversals is my main objective. If it ends up being a spectacular story line then I'll be doubly pleased. And I'm not so sure if I feel suppressed by the medium of words... at least not any more so that how everyone must deal with the imperfect system of language. If I could phrase it differently, I would have to say that the words feel contrived in my cumbrous hands.
Anyway, I really enjoyed your assessment, and I hope to continue to live up to your praise while taking some urgency out of getting on with the story.

[-Brutus]

Conspiracy is at hand! I hope they find out who did this to her father.

[redactedandredacted]

Oooookay, the other chapters have been somewhat unpolished, but this is getting ridiculous. I'm going to mark this as unread and come back to it once you've gotten rid of

(couldn't think of a pony name)

and any other such silliness from the chapter. I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say you were either very drunk or very stoned when you wrote this? Either way, I don't want to read it when it could be so much better through just a half hour of editing.

[Apple Blumpkin]

2662083
Haha, reading back through it, I must agree, that while I dislike editing, some of the mistakes shouldn't be in there. I'll go through and fix them before I update the chapter I've been working on today. thank you for keeping the faith though! And i wasn't drunk or stoned this time. Just tired and excited to have so many readers that I rushed it way too much. Also, just noticed you were the first to comment on my story, so thanks for being there from the start!

2664344
I can certainly identify a lot with what your saying, and the whole 'practice makes perfect' bit is the whole reason I'm writing this fic. I do focus a bit too much on the reversals and how to get to them and not the journey along the way. I'll take what you've said to heart and try to work on it. I've also added your stories to my read later list. :)