Chapter 3
3
~☆~
“Don’t worry, we’ll have this sorted out before you know it!” Twilight waved as the large red stallion and purple-maned unicorn walked away from the Library. The door slipped shut as Twilight returned to her research.
“Are you sure? We have even less to start from than the poison joke, and this is even weirder.” said Spike, pulling up another large text. “At least the poison joke was funny.”
“And this isn’t? Twilight giggled. “Rarity, switching bodies with a hunky stallion? Hee hee, Big Marity, that was a good one, Spike.”
Spike let the book flop on top of a stack of other thick books, giving a tiny frown back at Twilight.
“I don’t think it’s very funny.” he said. His mind drifted to whether or not any stallion really could (or should) be responsible for Rarity’s behalf.
Outside one of the windows of the Library, a Great and Powerfully blue unicorn climbed up the trunk of the tree.
“He he he- hergh!” Trixie slipped, interrupting her laugh. She hoisted herself up at the edge of one of the open windows, looking into Twilight’s complex mess of books. “Consulting their famous magic friend to reverse their inevitable romance? He he he, you won’t stop me so easily, Twilight Sparkle.” she said. Twilight looked up from a narrow blue text.
“Spike, can you get my big notebook? It should be on my bedroom desk.”
“Right away!” said Spike, and he skipped up the stairs.
“Just you and me, Twilight.” murmured Trixie. Amongst the still hovering books she spotted a specific text which she recognized. Her magic pulled the black, intricately engraved book to the window and she snuck it though the gap. “All too easy. ‘Incredibly Imaginative, Inconspicuous or Incongruous Incantations (and so on) by Ignatius Incognito’.” read the title. “Without this, my little magiciaAAGH!” her hoof slipped and Trixie plummeted from the window and landed into the flower box below.
“Huh?” Twilight looked up, questioning the odd sound. “Spike, was that you?”
“Who?” asked Owloysius the owl.
“Spike.” clarified Twilight.
“Who.”
“I was saying-”
“What? asked Spike.
“Who?” said the owl.
“I asked what made that noise.” said Twilight.
“…Owloysius is asking ‘who’.” said Spike impassively, descending the stairs with the notebook.
“Not ‘who’, what.”
“What?”
“Who?”
“Gah! Nevermind!” exclaimed Twilight. She returned herself to the blue book, concentrating and annoyed. Spike and Owloysius looked at each other in bemusement.
“Heh heh, good one Owloysius.”
“Hoo hoo hoo hoo…”
“He he he he,” laughed Trixie as she snuck away from the Library, clutching the book in her hooves. “Your research won’t be so easy without this, my little friend. Ehe he he he…!”
~♦~
By the time Big Macintosh and Rarity passed the edge of town towards Sweet Apple Acres, the stallion had eaten the loaf of bread, and much to his embarrassment and the unicorn’s hilarity, burped loudly twice. They walked quietly, the stallion trying to forget the moment and walking slightly slower, while a thought began to pester him.
“..Does Big Macintosh eat a lot? I mean, is it normal for you to have this kind of appetite?”
“Eyup.” replied Rarity.
“But it feels so strange…” said Macintosh.
“You’re not used t’havin a belly that big.” said Rarity, looking up at him.
“I’m not used to everything looking smaller either,” Macintosh said, looking down. He turned his head to look at the unicorn’s mane, noticing a small tangle. “Is that what my hair really looks like from the back?”
“Ah guess so?” said Rarity neutrally.
“Hmm… I’m going to have to fix that when I get back in my body.” he said.
For a while longer, they walked in silence. Their shadows continued to shorten as the sun rose, foreboding another simply sunny day in Ponyville’s valley. Macintosh looked back at Rarity and saw her shut mouth and distracted expression. He smiled.
“I know Big Macintosh may not be a talkative pony, but if you’re going to try and pass-off as a decent Rarity, you’ll need to speak up.” said Macintosh.
“Huh?”
“You’re bad at making it look like you don’t have something to say when you’re using my face.” replied Macintosh, looking loftily at his companion. Rarity frowned at his induction.
“…Ah feel short.” she sighed. “And this tail keeps boinkin’ my back legs, it’s annoyin’.” she said, giving her tail a small kick. “Why’d you grow it out so long?”
Macintosh laughed softly.
“Try walking with your legs closer together.” he said. The unicorn narrowed her stance, looking back at her tail as she did so. Her tail began swishing in a much more lady-like pattern, and she smiled. Her head suddenly snapped forwards, as if she’d seen something she wasn’t allowed. Macintosh hadn’t noticed.
“I grow my tail out so it matches my mane, and I grow my mane that way because it is how I style it, fitting with the latest fashion trends and a form that matches my personality; it’s fabulous.” said Macintosh. “Whereas this garish thing,” He looked back as he flipped his own rough-snipped tail. “I can’t imagine why you would ever want it trimmed like this.”
“It’s cut short so it don’t get caught inna harness.”
“Do you ever do anything to style yourself?”
“Comb my mane every once an’ a while so it don’t get mussy.” said Rarity.
Macintosh looked forwards again, unimpressed.
‘Just like Applejack. Anything he doesn’t absolutely need he does without.’ thought Macintosh. ‘Whatever ruffian got us in this mess must have had a keen mind for picking opposites…’
“…Do you dislike fashion?” said Macintosh, assuming some further similarity to Applejack.
“Only when it gets in the way of workin’.” said Rarity.
For a short while he continued to think as they walked in the quiet. Rarity cleared her throat and Macintosh looked.
“Ah couldn’t rightly say Ah think about spiffyin’ somethin’ for its own sake any more than Ah do about bein’ mayor or flyin’ an airship.” said Rarity, considerately. “Ah may not be a smart pony but Ah know Ah ain’t a dumb one. And if Big Mac wanted to whine about somethin’ he knew nothin’ about, they aughta put a whiner like him on a platter an’ serve ‘im with cheese.”
Macintosh chuckled, putting his hoof to his mouth.
“That was a terrible pun.”
“Eeyup.” smiled Rarity.
They passed a corner post of a fence as they rounded the corner of the farm property. All along their right side were trees, speckled with small white flowers as far as the eye could see. A small gust of wind blew past, snowing the road with tiny flower petals.
“Look at all the blossoms...” said Macintosh, gazing at the rows of the orchard.
“Taste one, see if they’re sweet.” offered Rarity. Macintosh took a broad step over the small ditch before the fence. Balancing a hoof on its top edge, he reached up and snagged a twig with a small cluster of blossoms on it. He licked at the bloom, cleaning it off the twig completely.
“Mmm, it tastes like apple-flavored honey.” smiled Macintosh. He licked at another blossom and climbed back down, smacking his lips.
“That means the bees still haven’t seen to ‘em yet. The blossoms only last a couple of weeks, then they start growin’ apples.” said Rarity.
“I never knew apple flowers tasted like that- then again, I’ve never been able to reach them before.”
Rarity looked at her foreleg.
“You’d probl’y be able t’reach one with a bit of effort an’ some exercise.”
Macintosh shot her a look.
“Did you just say Rarity should exercise more?” he accused.
Rarity sort of froze as she looked at her hoof. Slowly she put it back down and faced Macintosh like she’d heard that a thousand times before. She continued forwards with a blank expression.
“You look lovely, Miss Rarity.”
Macintosh laughed, and rejoined her.
~Ω~
The two headed through the welcoming gate of Sweet Apple Acres and approached the barn. An orange mare wearing Big Macintosh’s collar and a very irritated expression on her face trotted briskly towards them, calling out.
“There you are! Big Mac, you’re ‘sposed to be at least a quarter done the corn field by now.” said Applejack.
“I’m sorry Applejack, but something rather unusual has occurred.” replied the red stallion. Applejack stopped, hearing more than a few things from her brother that were outside his normal sayings.
“…Did you jus’ call me ‘Applejack’? You always call me ‘AJ’.”
“Yup. AJ-” started the white unicorn. Applejack eyed her.
“Okay har har, great prank Big Macintosh,” smiled Applejack sarcastically, slipping off the yoke. “You gotta get to work.” she said, picking up the yoke in her mouth.
“AJ wait-” said the unicorn as Applejack threw the yoke. It spun through the air and struck Macintosh directly in the face.
“Ow!” Macintosh swung his head at the impact, and rubbed his snout with his hoof. “Applejack, what was that for?”
“Jacqueline Apple!” yelled Rarity in a very bold tone. Applejack stared at the unicorn as if she’d blasphemed.
“Rarity, what’s goin’ on?” she said coldly.
“I’m trying to explain, Applejack-”
“I didn’t ask you Big Mac, I asked Rarity!” exclaimed Applejack angrily.
“Listen to Rarit-Marit- herp- that one!” stuttered Rarity, pointing to Macintosh.
“Why’re you actin’ like Big Macintosh!?”
“Because she IS Big Macintosh,” said Macintosh loudly. “His mind is trapped in my body and I am in his.”
Applejack stopped, looking strangely at the red stallion. She walked close and stared right into his face, analyzing what she saw to be her brother. Her eyes went wide when the stallion’s eye betrayed some generous sheen to them, which looked all too different from the family’s honest twinkle in the color.
“…Rarity?” she said, stepping back in awe. “That ain’t possible.”
“If that were true, how would I know your first Gala dress ensemble had a seed satchel and galoshes?” said Macintosh. Rarity looked at Applejack.
“Yer what now had what?” she chuckled.
“This joke ain’t funny no more.” said Applejack, thoroughly creeped-out.
“This isn’t a joke, Applejack.” said Macintosh. “Twilight’s trying to find out what’s happened and how to reverse it but in the meantime, your brother ‘Rarintosh’,” he pointed to the unicorn. “Convinced me to do the work he was supposed to do-”
Applejack interrupted, stepping close again and pointing in-between Macintosh’s eyes.
“If Rarity’s up in this noggin’ then that’s rich.” she said with a sly smile. “Rarity wouldn’t touch a plow for all the tea in Canterlot.”
“On the contrary, I agreed to do the work because your brother agreed to let me take his body to the spa.”
Applejack seemed locked with a comic disbelief. She looked at Rarity, who had an all-too-familiar flat sort of expression. Applejack almost laughed to herself at the mention of the word ‘spa’, and Rarity’s cheeks gave the vaguest pink coloration. Applejack smiled a tiny bit more, and Rarity’s face went red enough to match Macintosh’s coat. Applejack burst out laughing.
“AHAHAHA!! Oh my sides! HA! Take his body to the spa! Ha ha! Big Mac, at a dainty lil’ spa, Ha ha ha! I’m gonna crack a rib if I don’t faint laughin’ first!”
The stallion watched the orange earth pony roll around, and took up at seeing Rarity’s blushing face.
“It’s not embarrassing for a stallion to go to a spa.” said Macintosh. “It does wonders for sore muscles and softening you up after lots of stressful work as I’ve no doubt this stallion has exposed himself to. Not to mention it’s a nice way to just spend time with friends.”
Applejack’s laughing faded, looked quite serious as she stared at Rarity, then her brother. ‘Spend time with friends’ had triggered some thought, as she looked at the form of her brother and her friend beside.
“Aha ha hah heh… heh-here, now, listen Big Ma-er..”
“Marity.”
“‘Marity’. It’s fine if you really wanna relax an’ all, but are you thinkin’ about what it means fer a big old stallion like Big Macintosh,” she waved her hoof at him. “Goin’ to a spa with the likes of lil’ Miss Rarity?” Applejack said, waving her hoof at the unicorn.
“We can be innocuous enough, Applejack. You needn’t worry. Rarintosh can trust me not to make any strange faux-pas on her behalf. You should be more worried about your brother doing something odd while he’s in my body.”
The two Apples looked at Rarity, who looked back surprised.
“What’s there t’worry about? Don’t you just sit there?”
“Generally yes, but more importantly you have to relax.” said Macintosh. Applejack looked from Rarity to the stallion.
“…And you agreed to what now?”
“Till the corn field.” added Rarity.
Applejack put her hoof to her chin, thinking about the suggestion, raising her eye towards her brother, then looking at her friend’s face again.
“..Y’know Rarity-”
“Marity.” he interrupted, starting to imagine how many times he would be correcting ponies before days’ end.
“Marity, you sure you can pull a harrow? It ain’t exactly, well, lady-like...”
“I’ll do anything necessary if it means I can go to the spa.” said Macintosh confidently. “Or at least stop feeling like I rolled in something.”
“Assumin’ you can get that one to go at all.” Applejack gestured to Rarity.
“Oh, I hardly think your brother won’t want to prevent Rarity’s weekly get-together with Fluttershy.”
Applejack eyed Rarity with a peculiar suspicious expression that Macintosh had never seen before.
“Would you?” Applejack questioned. By the way the two were looking at each other, Macintosh thought some kind of Apple sibling mind-game was going on.
“…Nope.” said Rarity finally, before glancing back at Macintosh.
Applejack gave a small aside nod to talk to Macintosh out of the unicorn’s earshot.
“Just what I thought.” said Applejack, stepping a distance away.
“What?” said Macintosh, following.
“…Nothin’,” she said, her focus darting to the side momentarily. “We’ll just make it a bit more interestin’.”
“Interesting?” said Macintosh, questioning her reply. Applejack turned away from their aside, looking back to Rarity.
“I bet, you’ll never go to a spa ‘cause ye never need t’relax.” bragged Applejack. Rarity simply looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “A’course if you don’t need to relax, it means you wanna work. How’s about I take a week off for me an’ my friends?”
“Heh, no way AJ.” said Rarity in a disbelieving tone.
“If you don’t go, I take the week.” said Applejack smugly.
“And if Ah do, you gotta do all the barn chores for a week.” said Rarity in a similar tone of voice.
“Isn’t it privilege enough to be going to my special spa treatment?” interjected Macintosh. The two gave a frank look at Macintosh, before focusing back on each other.
“Two days.” said Applejack.
“Three an’ a half.” said Rarity.
“You’re on.”
They each spat on their forehoof and slapped together, binding their bet.
“Gross gross gross!” exclaimed Macintosh, as Rarity stopped and looked up at him. She shyly wiped her hoof on the grass. “Rarintosh, you are never to do that again!”
“Sorry Marity, but a bet’s a bet.” said Rarity with a shrug.
“It sure is, sugarcube.” added Applejack. She turned towards the barn. “Try an’ keep my friend’s body clean, y’hear?”
“Rarintosh won’t forget.” replied Macintosh, starting down a bothered look at his companion.
“Okay then. I’m gonna take Apple Bloom to school,” said Applejack, trotting away. “Have fun at the spa!”
Rarity’s expression immediately changed to a deflated sort of dismay.
“Uh-” she uttered.
“A bet’s a bet!” said Applejack with a smile, as she went inside.
Macintosh looked at Rarity. She was blushing again.
“That was remarkably clever of her. Does she do that often?”
Rarity avoided looking up, standing with a rather mixed annoyance. Her mouth opened to speak but she said nothing. The instant growing just short of awkward, her head nodded towards the wooden harness still lying on the grass.
“You gonna put that on?” she said timidly.
“Oh.” said Macintosh, remembering. “Yes. Right..” he picked up the yoke, holding the grainy wooden form in front of him for a moment. It was worn smooth with a texture like drift wood, polished by an amalgam of sun exposure, sweat and sand over the course of years, washed every day by a dip in the river.
‘You’re committed now, Rarity. Time to get dirty..’ he thought, and slipped it over his head. It easily slid down past his head and onto the base of his neck. He stood there for a moment, staring at it. Rarity wordlessly began walking towards the far corner of the barn. Macintosh suddenly smiled.
“I can see why you grew so accustomed to it.” he said, starting after her. He looked down at what he could see of the edge of the yoke against his chest. “It’s a perfect accessory to compliment the rest of your appearance. The colour of the wood suits the skin, and these steel balls down at the bottom could-”
“You’re wearin’ it upside down.” said Rarity, trying not to smirk. Macintosh suddenly realized what it felt like to blush as a stallion.
The stallion straightened the yoke out as the unicorn led them both behind the barn to a tall and squarish shed with a sliding door. Rarity slid the door open, showing several pieces of farm equipment, the only one of which Macintosh recognized was a large bladed plow. Hanging beside was a large iron grid with numerous beveled wheels leaning against the wall. Rarity pulled a small rope and the wheeled device fell onto the grass with a loud metallic thud and clatter.
“Aah!” exclaimed Macintosh, stepping back from the strangely shaped device. “It looks like part of a fence with sawblades attached. How can this possibly help you farm.. What was it again?”
“Corn.” said Rarity, unhooking a chain attached to one end. “This here’s the harrow. Tie it on an’ follow me.”
Rarity led them both to a wide brown field, flat with nothing sprouting out of it and a hedge growing on the farthest edge. Macintosh stood at the edge looking out at the expanse, and looked back as Rarity unlatched part of the harrow. The whole of the device was supported on the rounded metal wheels that sank into the soft earth of the grass.
Rarity pointed with her hoof towards a thin tree that stuck straight up from behind the edge.
“Try to keep in a straight line. Give ‘er.”
Big Macintosh looked back at the harrow again, and the vast tract of dirt that lay before him. He grit his teeth.
‘You can do this, Rarity. This stallion’s done this dozens of times before. And anyways: the spa afterwards. All right, get on with it.’ Macintosh pushed hard into the yoke. As soon as the metal rollers of the harrow dug into the soil, he stopped solid. Macintosh frowned and shoved the yoke again, budging forward. He could easily feel how his strength affected the situation, with the groan of the wooden parts of the harrow and the tightening jangle of chains, but the harrow was almost as immobilizing as a giant rock. Macintosh grunted as he tugged at his harness.
The sun beat down on the stallion and the wooden yoke repeatedly buffeted his chest, but Macintosh continued, almost baffled at the sensation of what felt like literally pulling a ton or more, but the strength to jostle it easily. Slowly but surely he shoved and lurched across the first row of the field, losing breath. About half way down its length, he stopped.
“Huh!” panted Macintosh. “I thought you said this was easy!”
“You’ll learn how Ah learned.” said Rarity simply.
“But this great lummox has already been doing this for years!” complained Macintosh, pointing at himself. Rarity looked at him expectantly. He growled and continued with his aggressive shoving and shunting the harrow the entire length of the field once. The harrowed paths cut into the field were jagged and rough but relatively straight. Rarity walked along the length right beside him the whole time, staying on the grassy edge.
Macintosh felt a reverberating echo of the pounding from the yoke against his front. His exasperated heavy breathing and the sensation in his chest made a tiny trickle of sweat that crawled onto his nose catch him entirely off guard, and he snorted loudly, jerking his head.
“Huh, huh… I can’t stand this..” said Macintosh in a gasp. “I’m already sweating in this heat, and exhausted.. but… I’ve only done one pass! Don’t… don’t you have any advice, or, some way you can help?”
“Only if you ask for help.” said Rarity. Macintosh rolled his eyes.
“Could you please give me some advice, Rarintosh?”
“Pull it around and line it up for another pass.”
Macintosh pulled at the side of the harrow and it tilted, resting itself on wheels mounted to the side which pivoted the whole device easily.
“Now lean forward.”
“I can’t, it’s already taught.” said Macintosh, looking at the chains that bound the harrow to the harness.
“Then take two steps back, an’ lean forward.”
“I’ll fall flat on my face!” protested Macintosh. The unicorn gave her a very flat expression as if that wasn’t a very good excuse. Macintosh sighed, and took two strides backwards, letting the lines go slack. He shifted, leaned forwards and immediately his forehooves slipped and he fell, plopping face-first into the loam. A muffled scream came from the ground.
“Gah!” shouted Macintosh, frantically standing up again and wiping dirt off his face. “Disgusting! There, what did I tell you!”
“Ah told you two steps, not four. You took two full strides.” said Rarity, her expression unchanged. Macintosh snorted in frustration, staring at Rarity. A clump of soil mixed with perspiration rolled off his nose. In spite of himself, Macintosh followed as Rarity said, taking two steps forward. The yoke rested neither taught nor loose on his neck, and he suddenly didn’t quite feel like the harrow gave as much pressure anymore. He cautiously leaned forwards, and he immediately could feel almost all of his weight transferring into the yoke, like the pushing of a lever, tightening the harness with ease. Just before he felt like he would fall again, he took a step and the harrow glided after. Slowly Macintosh got into a regular pace that was a little slower than a normal walk and with his weight placed far more forwards that he was used to. Macintosh continued on the row in less than a quarter of the time of the first row, and Rarity walked alongside.
“Oh, this is so much better! Why didn’t you say earlier?” said the stallion. To the stallion, tilling didn’t seem so much like pulling something as he previously thought, as much as constantly walking to catch himself from falling forwards.
“You didn’t ask.” said Rarity.
Macintosh finished the second length and started on her third. Rarity continued to follow, walking along the edge of the field.
“If this is what you do with most of your time,” said Macintosh as he came to the end of the length, “You must get a lot of thinking done.”
“Eeyup.”
“Is that why you don’t talk much?” Macintosh waited for an answer as he pivoted round, but Rarity said nothing.
“Or is it because ponies usually figure out what you mean anyways?” he said, taking a step into the field. He stopped and looked back, and Rarity smiled at him. Macintosh paused, and then realized what he had just said. Macintosh smiled, and continued tilling.
‘If a pony must decide between talking and thinking, then that certainly explains why Big Macintosh is the way he is. His work may be dirty and boring, but at least it means he doesn’t waste his time with idle chatter.’ thought Macintosh. He looked at Rarity as she kept pace.
“Eyes forward! Keep straight.” said Rarity, over the distance of the already tilled rows.
‘You mean like how you waste your time with idle chatter?’
‘Oh quiet, Rarity. So what if Macintosh is a patient listener? That’s not even the most important thing for a- no, I’m not going to even think it. Besides, he doesn’t even like anything fashionable, so he’s not even worth considering in that regard.’
‘Get a hold of yourself, mare! You’re thinking that from the brain inside the beefcake that a tailor would kill somepony over just to put socks on his- my… these legs.’
‘He said himself that what a pony looks like isn’t as important as what a pony is like beneath their appearances.’
‘…True.’
‘Beauty isn’t skin deep, and to that end, mmmaybe we aren’t so different…’
‘Stuff and nonsense.’ thought Macintosh so strongly that he almost said it aloud. ‘If it weren’t for this ridiculous whatever, you’d be nowhere near this farm.’ The series of thoughts ebbed, but the notion began to haunt the stallion. ‘Maybe we aren’t so different.’
“Whew, You were right. This is pretty easy.” said Macintosh, finishing the row. Rarity complimented through a warm smile.
“Do you think Rarity could do this?” said Macintosh, lining up again.
“Nope.” said Rarity politely. “Unless she weighs a lot, or strong enough to make up for it.”
“Does Applejack?”
Rarity shook her head ‘no’.
“Really?” asked Macintosh, stopping. “Why not?”
“She never learned how.” Rarity pointed to the first tilled row, already a fair distance to the farthest boundary of the field. “A long time ago, she gave up on the first row. Ain’t possible t’pull off if you don’t know how. Let alone bein’ little like she used t’be.”
“But Applejack- Giving up?” Macintosh was surprised. “She’s more tenacious and stubborn than anypony I know. What would possess her to give up?”
“She never asked for help.”
The stallion stood, struck by the realization of Applejack. It made sense to for something to happen and for her brother to know about, but it still seemed so far gone how much Applejack had changed ever since she and Rarity had become friends. Macintosh opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t think of anything to say. He started on the row, and they met up again as he finished it, Macintosh again walking through the field and Rarity around it.
“Thank you for staying off the dirt.” said Macintosh. “It makes things simple when you don’t have it stuck under your hooves, it can be tricky to clean before a pony pedi.”
“Keepin’ clean ain’t got nothin’ t’do with it.” replied Rarity. Macintosh raised an eyebrow. “The soil’s too soft for a little pony like this t’walk in. For me it’d be like snow and Ah’d be knee deep in a single step.”
“Oh… Thank you anyways, Rarintosh.”
“D’you mind if Ah just sit under the tree, here?” said Rarity, walking closer to a smallish apple tree. “It’s a mite hot for me, an Ah don’t think Rarity gets out in the sun as much as Mac.”
“Oh goodness yes!” said Macintosh, suddenly realizing. “Stay in the shade, you might get sunburn.”
“Eeyup.”
Rarity sat down by the tree and began chewing some of the clover growing nearby, as Macintosh went down for nearing the last row.
‘Rarity may style her mane and design dresses, that’s a conscious art.’ thought Macintosh. More and more often as he walked, he looked down at his own legs, watching the muscles of his front legs flex and squeeze under the skin, coursing the surface of his crimson form. '…But how fair is it when a pony just being themselves grows up as well-built and good looking as this?’
‘Not so different..’ taunted the memory again.
He turned for the second-last row, and the vantage for walking straight was the tree on the other side where Rarity sat. As he approached, he noticed that she was examining her front hoof extended outwards, her look following up the contours of her elegant physique. Macintosh grinned with a knowing look.
“You know,” he started, loud enough to be heard across the still-to-be-covered distance. “I really don’t mind.”
Rarity’s gaze snapped back up to Macintosh, the hoof put back to an idle position.
“Huh?”
“You keep looking at Rarity’s body. I don’t mind.” Rarity looked bashful as Macintosh continued.
“I like attention. That is why I beautify myself.”
‘Well… It ain’t exactly like Miss Rarity’s gettin’ mean at me lookin’ reasoned Rarity. ‘…She’s kind… and pretty-’
“It’s rude to stare.” Rarity said aloud, too quiet for Macintosh to hear.
Soon enough Macintosh finished the last row and the two ponies looked over the achievement of the stallion’s mid-morning toil. The entire surface of the field which was once smooth a plain, had been interrupted into rough rolling troughs that ran from one end to the other. Macintosh smiled at her work.
“Splendid! One corn field tilled, and now-”
“We go to Willow Wood Hollow.”
“Yes, off to the spa-wha?”
“You got some rocks that need tendin’.” said Rarity, already leading away from the field.
“Oh no-no-no-no,” replied Macintosh, through a clever smile. “You said I only had to till this field. You didn’t say anything about doing any other chores before the spa.”
Rarity looked at him through an expression that looked like she’d heard that sort of excuse a million times before. She looked up at the sun, then back at Macintosh. If her face was any indication, it looked like the expression might be the sort that an older brother would use to convey a condescending sort of wisdom.
“…So d’you want me to do ‘em then?”
Macintosh wasn’t so quick to nod ‘yes’ before he again realized the threat it posed for Rarity’s hair and condition.
“..GRRR!” snarled Macintosh, stamping the ground. “How many chores are there still left to do?” Macintosh leaned as if to dramatically faint, and the yoke arms poked his flank. He stood upright and tried to swing his leg at the tiller’s fastener. “Am I to be shackled with this forever?!” he said, yanking on a chain.
Rarity thought for a moment.
“One more.” And she went on up the hill towards the barn.
Macintosh sighed, and followed after.
~♦~
After the harrow was put away, Rarity led Macintosh down a steep path through a thick part of the orchard where trees clustered closer together. The unkempt wood mixed together with other varieties of foliage and denser underbrush. Eventually the greenery pushed inwards as they walked, until they were on a narrow path in a dense forest, with a floor of decaying leaves and budding dandelions. The path turned and opened out revealing a large pond, entirely surrounded by willow trees. Wind filtered gently through the soft dangling extremities of the willows, coming to rest on the numerous water chestnuts and small pinkish flowers that floated on the surface of the pond. A craggily oak tree, and the occasional chandelier of cherry tree branches were among the only intrusions into the dome of the pond’s illustrious canopy. There was a small metal gate at the far end of the pond, black by metal and enveloped by ivy. Rarity stopped and let Macintosh wander past in wide-eyed wonder.
“Oh…my…” he sighed. “This is absolutely marvellous! What is this place?”
“Ponyville Mill Pond.” said Rarity. She pointed to the gate at the far end. “That sluice over there leads to the ol’ watermill in town.”
“Is this still on Sweet Apple Acres?”
“Nope. This fence is where our land ends and town property begins.” The unicorn indicated a worn wooden fence, rustically decaying rapidly by overgrowth. A sunflower made itself out to be a tree growing from one of the fence posts. “We maintain the pond anyways though.”
Macintosh continued to slowly pace around the open green space before the water’s edge.
“What sort of farm chore needs doing here?”
“AJ manages the farm jus’ fine, we’re here to work on a lil’ project of mine. C’mon.”
She walked closer to the shore of the pond. The water was clear but the basin was dark, and seemed to go deep quickly. Resting on the shore was a porcelain gnomy with a pointy red hat, resting sideways. Rarity gently pushed the garden figurine aside and pulled a string tied to a ring that was hidden underneath. The yank on the string led into the water, and few bubbles came from the pond. An orange ball popped up to the surface.
“Yer gonna kick all the rocks out of the water near there, ‘til it’s smooth.”
“What useful purpose would be served in doing that?” said Macintosh, looking at the out-of-place flotation device in the tranquil space. He watched Rarity walk to the oak tree, and the unicorn pulled out from under a root a coil of rope with a thick knot in one end.
“Ah’ve been makin’ a rope-swing for Apple Bloom an’ her friends for her birthday. Me an’ AJ swam here when we were jus’ little. Ah had t’convince her friends to keep her away from here until Ah could get it all set up. But Ah didn’t want her to find anything by accident, so Ah hid it all.”
Macintosh walked closer, looking at the rope, then up at the oak tree. Its winding stiff branches looked like the ideal thing for a rope-swing. Although, he thought, such a stallion as Big Macintosh would be a fascinating sight to see for climbing a tree.
“That sounds like a lovely gift.” he smiled, looking up at the grand old tree.
“Ah’ve seen how she loves to play with her friends. But getting’ them alone and convincin’ ‘em to tell a lie to Apple Bloom was…” Rarity looked in a different direction with a thoroughly perplexed expression. “..A mite more confusin’ than Ah thought it’d be.” She finished with an odd emphasis.
“What did you tell them?” asked Macintosh.
“That Ah was sowin’ the water with cayenne pepper t’get rid of bugs, so it wasn’t clean t’swim in.”
“Cayenne pepper?”
“Sucker flies hate hot peppers.” shrugged the unicorn. “You gonna get them rocks then?”
“This water looks cold.” said the stallion, approaching the shore. He dipped his hoof in, and immediately tore it back. “Eek! It is cold.”
“The sooner you get the rocks out, the sooner we go t’the spa.”
“I know, I know..” said the stallion. He inhaled sharply as he took a full step in. “I’m just acclimatizing myself.”
Slowly the stallion eased himself deeper into the water. By the point of the orange ball, he could feel the bottom was partly muddy but not without several head-sized stones partly sunk in. The depth was up to his chin. He pushed a rock with his forehoof and it rolled out of the way slowly, making a thin plume of gray rise to the surface. Macintosh ignored the silt that might contact his coat, and focused on the unconventional slow-motion game of hoofball he was playing underwater. Eventually he rolled two rocks to the shore, and trod back. As he fiddled with his hooves under the water again, he gazed up at the canopy over them. From the different angle than the shore he could see a small shack, large enough to maybe house a few tools or somesuch. It was covered with ivy and the crawling clutches of blackberry vines. He looked back at Rarity, patiently sitting on the shore in the shade, aside from the dotted lighting of the sun coming through the overhead tree branches.
“This really is quite beautiful.” said Macintosh, finally wresting a rock out of a particularly stubborn spot. “It’s a very nice thing you’re- or, I’m doing, for Apple Bloom. Although inevitably that means Sweetie Belle will want to join in, which will mean washing her hair more often. Oh well. Sisters.” He gave a kick, flinging the rock out of the water.
“Sisters.” agreed Rarity. Macintosh turned back into the pond as the unicorn thought with a hoof to her chin. “Don’t mares like cleanin’ their hair though?”
“Not exactly.” said Macintosh, looking down to the water. “Fashion is my greatest aspiration, and that includes proper care of one’s mane. I suppose in some way would could call it a hobby of sorts, if that’s what you mean.” He smiled, successfully prying another rock. “At least it’s not like their irritating ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders Make-A-Mess-Time Yaaay!’ Bleh.”
Rarity chuckled.
“Don’t they make messes with the things you do, or get in the way?”
The unicorn looked at the stallion indifferently, considering.
“Mah work is bit harder to mess-up than.. Rarity’s a tailor- er, seamstress, right?”
“Fashion designer.”
“Yeah, well, example: Makin’ a wrong cut on fabric versus makin’ a wrong cut on a slab of timber.” Rarity gestured one and the other with her hooves. “Little fillies might try to “help” with scissors, but not a table saw.”
“You work with a table saw?”
“Jus’ another tool. If anythin’ Ah’m more like a gardener than Ah am a carpenter. Anyways, Apple Bloom spends more time with AJ than she does me. Ah’m usually up here alone unless Granny’s up t’somethin’.”
“Don’t you have any hobbies?” asked Macintosh.
“Ah used to-” Rarity stopped, doing a tell-tale errant distracted look. “Ah… like t’read here an’ there.”
“Used to what?” said Macintosh, giving her a savvy look. “You’re doing that thing with your face again like you’re hiding something.” He gave a very handsome grin, one which Rarintosh didn’t even know Big Macintosh had.
“…You’re cruel. Yer charms still shine through that thick skin a’mine.” said the unicorn shyly.
“Well?”
“Ah…” her voice quickly faded in conviction, softening and becoming quiet, even against the gentle trickle of the sluice gate. “Ah…sorta ha- wanted, to keep bonsais a while back.” To Marity, Rarity sounded a lot like Fluttershy.
“Bonasis?” replied Big Macintosh, intrigued. “You mean those artsy miniature trees?”
“Yeah Ah kinda thought they were dumb too.” replied Rarity, resigning her focus.
“Bonsais are not dumb!” said Macintosh immediately. Rarity looked up at her. “I think they’re fabulous! Such a cute little version of gardening.”
“But Ah thought.. ye’know, ‘cause you said ‘artsy’.”
“Artsy is a description,” stated Macintosh , looking back into the water for his rocks. “It’s not a negative thing.”
Rarity scratched her head as she pondered, and then continued.
“Ah’ve been lookin’ into ‘em. Catalogues an’ books an’ stuff but Ah.. Uh… haven’t gone buyin’ one. Ah kinda worried Ah might… ruin it or somethin’.” said Rarity quietly again. “‘Cause ye’know, Big Mac is big an’ all.” she added.
Macintosh looked at Rarity with an expression that was part disbelieving and part underwhelmed.
“Big Mac’s apple trees are bigger than he is, and he’s head-and-shoulders taller than anypony else in Ponyville. Despite that, he keeps a whole orchard of them in better health than the doctor can keep the town. What could possibly make you think you couldn’t take care of a single tiny tree?” said Macintosh, matter-of-factly.
Rarity looked partly disheartened, as if she had half a mind to shrink away.
“…Nothing…” replied the unicorn. “Just haven’t gotten around to buyin’ one… Is all.” she finished.
Up and beyond them from the roof of the small tool shed beside the water overlooked a Great and Powerfully blue unicorn, spying on the red submerged stallion and the white unicorn.
“Heh heh heh…” she giggled to herself. “Alone in a beautiful spot away from everypony else… Just like some cliché romance novella. No doubt they’ll be fully in love soon enough.”
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This story is still being written and I am undecided for several components that are important for the ending.
Biggest of which is deciding whether or not this will
be shipping or friendshipping.Feedback is welcomed and encouraged!
Looks pretty good.
Proper grammar in the description is always a plus for anything that shows up on the front page, so...
Hmm... this *may* get featured. Don't quote me on that, but it looks promising.
Have a thumbs up and a favorite/track/watch/whatever the hell it is.
Well, its been a long time coming.
I knew there would finally be a switch fic that is not only well written, but also entertaining. Kudos to you my friend, because you have created a switch-up fic that is actually readable (by a long shot). I do sincerely hope that this story gets featured. It deserves to be.
Here, have my like and favorite
Ah yes, the classic switch fic. A wonderful way to portray the unique and different characterizations of the aflicted characters.
As anypony who knows me on here will tell you, I'm a sucker for good characterization and I must say that you've garnered my interest. The way you portray the characters is absolutely beautiful as they flow with each other without conflict. You've nailed the personalities of both Big Mac and Rarity. Everypony else in the story feels a little lacking, not counting the humorous situation between Spike and Twilight, but that's perfectly fine as this isn't about them.
What I cannot wait for is to not only see just what you perceive as who Big Mac really is beneath that quiet shell of his, but to his interactions with everypony else. It truly is facinating to read about how he handles the situation.
Well done good sir, you've earned a fav and a like from this true believer.
Fun.
i like to see where this ends up.
I love your description of Apple Acres and environs.
I'm not certain your maniacally snickering Trixie is the standard Trixie, really, but who cares; the only canon things we really know about her is that she is narcissistic, bombastic and can be mean. The rest is fanon.
So far so good. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with the rest of the story. As for suggestions and critiques: Chapter 2 was really confusing in terms of trying to figure out who was who, but since that was cleared up before the end of the chapter and has stayed clear in this one, I'll assume it was intentional. It does work well in the story, particularly in heightening the sense of confusion the two of them are experiencing with the switch, so even if it wasn't intentional you could make a compelling argument for leaving it as is anyway.
As for your post in this chapter, if you're taking suggestions for the ending I vote shipping. Why you ask? Because this is my second favorite pairing for Big Mac, that's why (my all-time favorite is Pinkie, but I've only ever seen that done well like once).
Personally, I vote "Friendshipping" as it strikes me as the more refreshing way to go. As Trixie herself shows, the idea that understanding and time spent together will necessarily lead to love is just a little too pat, although certainly acceptable.
I'm quite enjoying the story and the various little touches.... The idea of a bonsai tree bridging the gap between farming and pure "artsiness" is pretty inspired, I thought. I too found the whole naming convention somewhat confusing, and only began to get used to it late in the third chapter (and fear I may fall out of practice if there's a long wait between chapters). It was never enough to lose me, just enough to slow down my comprehension as I had to work to remember which was which.
Regardless, I'm settled in now and looking forward to more.
1170044
i have yet to read this story (though i will soon, given enough time), but as if i may say so, i prefer friendshipping.
romantic shipping usually really bugs me, mainly because during very few instances do people actually make it reasonable and sensible. if you can make a Rarimac believable, go for it. otherwise, i think friendshipping is better.
i look forward to reading this!
Friendshipping.
But yeaupp... Try ta take smaller strides, not four large steps forward.
Chapter 1 was your best chappy, be sure ta keep that in mind.
Anyways... wonderful story
Personally I would vote for RareMac any day of the week, it's an unusual pairing but your writing style shows it has the potential to work out. Just don't try to rush their relationship too quickly, I've seen that way too many times with the Twixie ships. I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your chapters and I look forward to more. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_lazy.png
Freakin' fantastic, mate.
Rarity? Male-female body switch? READ LIST!!!
I didn't even have to read the description to know this will be epic
1173419 1173478
Thanks! Your compliments fuel me to keep on!
1173507 1173585
Fixed the formatting problem, sorry aboot that.
1173554
Thanks, I worked pretty hard on getting the mains well developed. If that's to the sacrifice of other characters, I suppose it may be a necessary expenditure...
1174023
Yes because that was entirely intentional yes ha ha ha of course I am such a genius because I thought of that
1175752
I thought very long and hard about keeping the bodies as they were- Rarity would be "Rarity" but speak and act like Big Macintosh and vice-versa, but at many points I couldn't keep their speech distinct enough to prevent constant confusion, so the compound names was the compromise. As far as I've been able to go, it's been a necessary evil.
1175429
That's 2 for Relationship
1174342 1175322
And 3 for Friendship
1175720
And 1 for more towels.
This story is shockingly good, beyond all expectations. Also, ship 'em. I'll feel a mite cheated iffin' those two don't get together after these here shenanigans.
1176784 Oh my stars Pondora Prancypants the most fanciest fancy in all fencedom.
"Shocking" you say? Thanks!
1176795
I didn't expect a body-swap story to be anything but silly, tacky, and terrible. I expected the literary equivalent of a train wreck. Instead, this is silly in a good way, and also touching and sweet. I am very impressed with your characterization and dialogue, not to mention that merely keeping your pronouns straight must be quite a challenge. I love it - Prancypants approved.
I'd say friendshipping, otherwise Trixie would win, and that wouldn't be as funny.
And you misspelled "chapter", switched the p and t
Cheers
1177156
WHA HA HA HAA
What's wrong with Trixie winning? It would probably be more unexpected. Thus more interesting/cooler.
Friendshipping. Trixie must lose.
*points horn at SirNyan*
I mean Rarimac FTW! *shifts eyes nervously*
I find this story very nice
That shed, room enough for two ponies *winkwink*
I gleefully await the next chapter.
1177345
winky-wink-blink-blinky-wink
1177506
*eats a larger dot*
iphonewallpapershome.com/images/2009/05/angry-pac-man-iphone-wallpaper.jpg
I'll get you blinky, winky, pinky, and Klyde
Meh, either is good, could go for shipping I suppose provided its done well
Absolutely love this fic. While I'm reading this I keep
throughout the whole thing.
I'm torn between wanting to see a full blown shipping or just friend shipping. I have no problem letting
win so I would probably be leaning slightly towards shipping if you can keep this up.
I'm actually a fan of TwixMac ye still enjoy this. You have to admit though, Mac does look good in that color but the same can't really be said about Rarity.
Called it~!!!!
*where's mah bits!*
Congratulations, with being Featured.
Ha I love Trixie as the secret plotter/stalker. She's like a writer, watching her story unfold right before her eyes. (possible metaphor for you my dear professor?) oh and my vote is for shipping, the world needs more rarimac! It is your destiny Professor_Blue, don't fight your destiny!
1178043
Having Trixie as an audience expectation surrogate for the traditional "hurr hurr contrived situation to drive a shipping story" was just too funny as a metaphysical device to pass up.
1178053
Serious criticism noted; can you cite an example so that I have a clearer idea on what I should be amending?
Gotta say, I'm really lovin' this fic. Started reading it because it looked interesting, but didn't really know what to expect. Extremely glad I gave it a shot though, excellent writing and great characterization of Rarity and Mac.
Oh, and before I forget, I'm totally OK with Trixie winning, I for one would like to see this turn into ship fic.
... I have no idea if I should be rooting for Trixie or not, what with how she's acting! xD
)
(But YES! SHIP THEM! SHIP ALL THE THINGS! (We need moar RariMac fics here on Fimfic! SHIP THEM TO THE NINTH DIMENSION!
1176774
Add one more to the friend shipping count.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png
1177219 you have an amazing prof pic
Comment unrelated
1170044 If there is shipping,and no friendshipping,I will be ABANDONING this story
*slams hoof on ground*
Just kidding,i really couldn't care either way,but i would prefer friendshipping
Let Trixie win this. Maybe seeing how she helped those two get together will show her how she can truly help others if she really wanted to and serve her a much needed slice of humble pie.
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/6/18/KYosurCXvEu5qWsEY47w-g2.jpg
Should I have made Trixie a clearer antagonist so that there wouldn't be equal proportions of people rooting for AND against her?
NAW
Great chapter!
Can't wait for more!
1170044 i would like friendshipping, only because my head cannon is that big mac is a colt-cuddler, and thus the implications that go along with it
Friendshipping would keep to the movie this fic is based off...but I feel a love shipping would do the story better, yet if you go for the love shipping it would be harder to write...
That my feeling on the subject
Any great work so far
This is really a fantastic story! I love it!
I personally love Rarimac, so I'm voting for shipping
. This pairing works so well, and you've done an excellent job with their characterization and interaction. It would be very disappointing if after all that bonding and mutual understanding (of which I hope to see more) it led to nothing serious. You have a story with a lot of potential, please don't let us down. 
.
Besides, just because they fall in love with each other doesn't mean Trixie wins. She may have been the cause of their mishap, but the rest was all up to them, and it's a misunderstanding after all, I'd love to see Trixie's face when she realizes her little victory isn't as great as she thinks
Wait, the whole naming fiasco confused me... Is Marity going to the spa with Fluttershy, or is Raritosh? Either way, I expect fluttermac shenanigans to unfold. In fact, I'm pretty sure that you had that in mind anyway, Professor, mainly due to this:
Also, SHIPPING. That is all.
1170044 I encourage friendshipping shipping is just a bit to over used both in fanfiction and in body sway scenarios
Every time I see someone ask for friendshipping, I die a little.
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110908215435/mlp/images/b/bb/Rarity_sad_episode17.png
1176774
I didn't read far enough for any compound names to show up so it seems we have talked past each other.
At least your answer revealed your reasons anyway.
It seems that you have the narrator apply the names to the body, because you think that names are a quality of the body, however strange I might find that.
I.e, where I see the situation as "Big Macintosh and Rarity switch bodies" you seem to see it as "Big Macintosh and Rarity switch minds".
This is certainly an unexpected and interesting mix-up/match-up.
I would wan them to get together, but I want Trixie to fail so much for some reason.
I hope it just ends in friend shipping. Or it can be shipping and Trixie gets beaten up in many, merciless ways. That is all.