Baa-Ram-Ewe!

by Darkonshadows

83. Voodoo verifications valued.

-California, Hollywood, after lunch, Shanty-

So after we be taking down Muggshot with blasts of heat and light, Sly decided to show me a fun place where actors in this world congregated and was going to cause some mischief. We made it here before lunch after Muggshot’s defeat before breakfast.

While Sly and his friends only be stealing from master criminals, they still do some thefts not related to criminals just for fun. They would be mailing the stars from the local ‘Walk of Fame’ to the police headquarters in Paris so they can be sending them back to the US to be put back in place.

Sly said that they could be affording a little fun until the heat dies down, which led to me having some ice cream cones with Murray after lunch. We would be catching up on our sleep through the evening.

Sly had gotten the location of the next of the Fiendish Five from Muggshot, apparently it was a mystic named Mz. Ruby who was currently in the jungles of Haiti to the south east of here. It was a placed covered in jungle and the western third of the island, I’d be really useful to them there as I knew how to get around on islands quite easily.

Eventually Bentley came up with the history of the Cooper Gang’s next target.

Mz. Ruby just wanted to fit in as child and couldn’t because of her strange powers. Apparently she turned to raising the long dead for friends and uses the power of voodoo to commit crimes that are hard to solve due to some people’s skepticism about magic.

I suggested it all to be a big cry for attention and that no one be giving her much of that. I even remember seeing billboards of her trying to get into an honest business of potion making… but if people still be ignoring her…

Well, every pirate worth their coin be knowing how dangerous that voodoo stuff is!

While I can see she wants to be recognized for something and wants to be at least somewhat legitimate and have an actual friend that can talk back, she wasn’t being a very good person to be near at all.

I be warning Sly, Bentley and The Murray to be careful of Mz. Ruby, that alligator be having frightening powers if she’s any good at voodoo like I think she is.

It’s a good thing she be only raising the long dead and not the freshly dead.

According to Bentley the freshly dead would have turned on her in a heartbeat if she tried, especially if she was responsible for their death.

When it was brought up, the number of people Mz. Ruby has killed personally is… actually... zero.

This was much to the surprise of Bentley when he looked into it, apparently she not be killing intelligent beings… but she has no compunctions about killing animals or has incidentally killed people indirectly. While this is true, she does have the magic power to be killing people directly if she be hitting them with it.

She also be having no problems with using the long since dead of natural or unnatural causes that are completely unrelated to her to commit crimes and or do her bidding.

Ruby wasn’t the one that killed Sly’s parents, but she did assist the ones who did. Maybe she just wanted some form of companionship from the other Fiendish Five that put Sly out of his home and didn’t get it.

I felt somewhat bad for Ruby, as I be knowing what loneliness is like.

I really do not be liking the idea of being near voodoo magic and the guys promised me I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to do, but there was no way I was sitting this one out if we didn’t be finding news of Pom, Smolder or Ocellus.

I wanted to at least bring Ruby down, but I still wanted to make an effort to appeal to her to be changing her ways or else she could be going down a path where she would be better off forgotten.

There has been no news in locating Pom, Smolder or Shanty. There were a lot of bipedal dogs in this world, as well as numerous hot spots for animal dogs and even the existence of animalistic dogs had made it even harder to locate Pom.

Shanty and Ocellus be nowhere to be seen, any news station would be having a field day of just getting wind of their existence.

At least I be having Dodo with me and he be an eye sore of an attention grabber. Sly and his gang were helped him with keeping a low profile… if you call disguising him as an oversized bunny a low profile. They even be giving me a chocolate egg to eat in the open to sell the whole thing.

Dodo not be minding, he just accepted the costume we put on him and I thought it was cute. The costume was working for the most part and Dodo just has to make sure he doesn’t make too many large or dangerous looking movements.

I could feel he wanted to run around and do big things for me, but I didn’t need that at the moment so he was waiting for when I did need him. He did be protecting that orphanage fairly well and even got him an ice cream cone to swallow for his enjoyment.

Bentley made a mention of cold fusion in reference to Dodo before chuckling and clearing his throat, we were currently in the back of the van.

“Shanty, I’m not exactly an expert on magic, but you know how to use magic… and given your pirate leanings, I would assume that you know something about voodoo?” Well Bentley be looking to me for expertise and I did be knowing a few things, so I motioned for him to go ahead. “The news coming from Haiti is a disturbing to say the least, the plan Mz. Ruby is cooking up has been advertised quite loudly by her and… nobody is really taking her threat seriously. It’s a somewhat good thing people are ignoring it, because creating an army of ghosts to invade Mexico sounds like a weird plan. Would probably work better if it were closer to the 'day of the dead'.”

“She is wanting attention more than anything and that be an attention grabber like nothing else if she were to be succeeding. She be having a lonely life for many years and I know what that be feeling like.” The four in the back of the van gave me sad looks, they were all good people. Mopsy was making sure I got back to Pom and the Cooper gang didn’t mind being enlisted to help me with that. Like they didn’t mind me helping them, provided that I stayed safe. “What do you want to know specifically?”

“Since you come from a world of magic that has voodoo practices that might be the similar to the ones used on this planet, let’s start with weaknesses.” Stated Bentley as he looked to me.

“To start, voodoo is being far friendlier than necromancy and that be saying something since necromancy is being banned by absolutely everyone on the planet I be coming from. That doesn’t mean it isn’t creepy, dangerous or just plain outright deadly.” I shivered as I remember spending time near a tavern to hear stories other goats, ponies or various other beings would tell tales about such things. I did be stealing most of my food growing up as a necessity, best place to steal food from… a tavern where you can possibly find some free rum too! The rum be happening when a pirate be nice enough to spread their recent windfalls around to everyone else in the tavern. “If you were to be looking for weaknesses… start with salt. Get salt in a voodoo zombie’s mouth or force them to cross a circle made of salt and that will be bringing them down immediately no question. Ghosts… powerful heat and light, sunlight just weakens them and they need to be actively attacked with a something like burning torches. Any positive warm energy like fire is really useful, since ghosts be born of negative and cold energy. We’ll also need to watch out for entranced animals under voodoo magic control. As for Mz. Ruby’s plan… I just be realizing that it’s not going to work.”

“What do you mean Shanty?” Mopsy was suddenly sitting up and taking notice.

“It be simple… voodoo is usually stuck to the area it is started in right? It not be stretching that far! Also why not be taking all the surroundings islands first?” Poking my hoof around the map and where Haiti is, I grinned as I motioned to the surrounding islands she didn’t have control over. “It’s because she can’t be doing it. Any army she creates will have to be getting over the sea and keeping them dangerous is going to be an issue if the voodoo zombies don’t handle the salty air like I know they can’t. She would be having big trouble getting across the islands and up to Mexico to even be having a chance of starting an attack. She be at this plan for how many years… and she still hasn’t actually done it yet?”

Sly, Bentley and Murray looked at each other, then Bentley received the most attention from Sly and Murray. He looked at the map and then gained a quick smile.

“That sounds… fairly applicable really. Given Sly has had the time to grow up over the years since the attack on his family, we haven’t heard as much as a peep from Mz. Ruby aside from a bunch of spooky thefts that fit her modus operandi.” Bentley pulled out his laptop and started to type something out. “I also believe you are onto something Shanty, what exactly has she been doing for this past decade when the Fiendish Five split up and left Ruby to her own devices? We saw what happened with Muggshot and Raleigh… Raleigh was causing all kinds of weather problems on an island close to Wales, it sent some random weather to most of the surrounding United Kingdom’s region. I think Mz. Ruby is being hindered somehow.”

“Oh right… nature itself is also being a very big enemy of bad voodoo practitioners.” I received a lot of glances, even Mopsy be giving me a worried glance. “I know of voodoo users of my world, but it might not work the same here. I be thinking it safer to get confirmation on the weaknesses first before we be relying on them entirely. As for what I was talking about with nature… well those who use voodoo magic tend to be killed horrifically by animals that can feel the user upsetting the balance of nature itself. If she be doing that badly enough, then all the animals around would be wanting her out badly enough even at the risk of being directly controlled by her magic and... she can only be controlling so much at any given time.”

“Speaking of, what kind of creatures can we expect Mz. Ruby to be controlling when we eventually go there?” Bentley be asking and I be thinking of it.

“It be depending on what animals are there, spiders, snakes and possibly monsters made from the very land itself. She be in a jungle yes?” I see a few nods. “If she ruining it with voodoo magic, then nature will not be being very happy with her that she is taking from it without asking nicely. Of course I’d be worried if she has control of a pirate’s worse nemesis... rats!”

“How bad a reaction from nature are we talking here Shanty?” Mopsy asked in a slightly frightened tone. “Also rats… really? I thought the international police like that nice Carmelita girl would be far more of a worse nemesis to have coming after you. Really don’t know what you’re world is like where rats are worse than the police.”

“Nature could actively be coming to aid whoever tries to stop Ruby, quite literally plants will be in place to get you to her and animals will literally throw you at her if they know you want to deal with her.” It not be figurative, nature will literally aid whoever tried to stop a bad voodoo practitioner in whatever way it can if they don’t be caring for the balance. I be hearing horror stories of both successful and unsuccessful practitioners, but I never be meeting them personally. “I be hearing a lot about voodoo practitioners growing up, balance be emphasized a lot. That be about as much as I am knowing voodoo from my world. Also, if you ever be seeing a Giant Sumatran Rat, then you would be thinking they are much worse than any protector of the innocent. Pirate’s be absolutely hating those things trying to sneak onto their ships!”

-Equus, The Ardent Survivor in the skies above Meadow Hills, Jacky ‘The Blackcap’ Chickadee Eric La Perm-

“Oh goddesses, why?!” I screamed as a large black rat with tentacles landed on the deck of my ship and roared in my face. Belfry, our trusted and stupidly talented giant butterfly ship guard, tried to immediately spray it with caustic chemicals… this just made it angry and send Belfry flying over the side of the ship. Belfry should be perfectly fine. “Nefer get those stupidly powerful sedation chemicals out! Sammy please tell me for the love of all that is good in this world that we still have that anvil!”

I felt a giant rat tentacle wrap painfully around my chest… just another day in my life I suppose. Good thing I was wearing my jetpack.

Now if it doesn’t malfunction long enough to burn through the tentacle, then I’ll be golden.

-Earth, California, Hollywood, Cooper Van, Shanty-

“If what you say matches with the data of what’s going on Haiti, then I may already have a plan for how to deal with Mz. Ruby.” Tapping his fingers against his chin, Bentley stared off into space thoughtfully. “We’ll have to go there and test the edges of Mz. Ruby’s territory. Once our preliminary findings about Shanty’s knowledge is proven correct, we can then move onto phase two in figuring out how to oust the alligator from the jungle and into police custody via Inspector Carmelita.”

“Let’s just hope Carmelita stays safe around Mz. Ruby on her own." It wasn’t hard to be telling that Sly was passionate about Carmelita. "Carmelita may be tough, but I don’t think she has ever had to deal with magic."

“Wait, if Ruby has magical powers, doesn’t that mean that she can do things like see us coming?” At least Mopsy be seeing the dangers involved and she still be sticking with me until I can find my friends of what is being my makeshift family. She be a good person… even if she is currently throwing in with thieves. “I’m not that well informed on all this magic stuff aside from meeting Shanty and Dodo, but that sounds something like what a fortune teller could feasibly do right?”

“Oh I don’t doubt that Mz. Ruby has the power to do that… she’s the one that saw through the defenses on the Cooper Manor.” Visibly shivering, Bentley rubbed at his arms as he thought about something. “The manor had a decent amount of security on it, up until Mz. Ruby found a way to bypass all of it as a bit player in taking Sly’s parents from him. Raleigh was there to steal the book. Muggshot and Panda King were there to prevent escape and burn down the home respectively. As for Clockwork… now there’s a piece of work that absolutely had it out for Sly’s family… he’s the one that did the deed. Sly was lucky that they didn’t know he was there or they would have gotten to him too when he was a kid.”

I looked over to Sly to see his fists tightening and some tears streaming down his eyes.

“I be hearing Pom mentioning the name Clockwork once, but I don’t think it being the same Clockwork you’re thinking of.” That earned me some attention. “Pom be a guard from Huoshan before we started getting lost in other worlds, she be okay with having thieves and pirates as friends so long as they don’t bother anyone in Huoshan. Huoshan be a peaceful volcano that is home to the honorable longma, she was there during an attack launched by someone named Clockwork and they be making a lot of metal monsters.”

“Were they a giant mechanical owl?” Sly asked immediately with a grim look on his face.

“No, the Clockwork that Pom spoke of be a unicorn pony who has a special talent for making mechanical golems, he be completely flesh and blood from what I heard.” Shaking my head, I continued. “Though I do be hearing tales of him losing to the infamous pirate known as Jacky ‘The Blackcap’ Chickadee La Perm numerous times. I know that he can’t be remembering the name of the most cursed pirate in the world to save his life despite how many times she’s said to have made him miserable. Jacky be destroying his airships constantly by accident or bad luck whenever she’s nearby.”

“Out of idle curiosity, what was this Jacky’s curse?” Asked Bentley after some thought.

“She be a living jinx, but she be a great pirate that doesn’t let that stop her even if bad things be happening to her near constantly!” If nothing stopped Jacky, then that meant I could be a good pirate too… eventually. Right now I be as close as I can get by joining up with this friendly gang of thieves. “She be using skill to overcome the curse targeting her in many painful ways.”

“Why do I suddenly get the feeling that I really should have stayed at The Prance Dance instead of taking a vacation to do a good deed?” Mopsy mumbled while pressing her hoof to her head. “At least I know the girls will be okay with checking on the orphanage.”

-Haiti, Jungle Temple, Mz. Ruby-

So I can see that Cooper is coming for me soon, does he seriously think he can be handling my voodoo with a turtle, a hippo and a sheep?

Hah, I’d like to see him try!

I was quite ready for them, though something was oddly out of place as there was a fifth shadow I couldn’t quite see.

It was no matter, the shadow I couldn’t see in the crystal ball seemed small enough to not be that much trouble worth worrying about.

Let’s see how well you could handle my swamp Cooper, I might be having raccoon gumbo if there’s anything left of you after my vicious voodoo deals with you and your friends.

-Camden Town, Pom-

Last night spent with the Dalmatians was nice, but waking up the next morning covered in puppies wasn’t. The puppies were somewhat heavy and were snuggled against me in a manner that was too clingy.

At least Dante was a bit more respectful about giving me space and they were all really adorable dogs. I was still nervous that some of them might not be smart enough to avoid attempting a familiar bond with me, but my worries were mostly unfounded as I didn’t feel any pokes at a connection attempt.

I was still quite paranoid that it could eventually happen though and I didn’t want to ruin this sweet and loving family by accidentally stealing one of their number.

Dante had explained what happened with Cruella and her nephew, Hunter, and why they were using me like a security blanket that I was to dogs in general.

Cruella was a cruel woman that I could never be friends with, especially when she intends to kill so many dogs for a fashion statement.

If I were to ever meet Cruella De Ville personally, I wouldn’t even care if she had turned into a saint overnight, she was getting the best left hook hoof to the skull that I could possibly manage.

I might even enhance the blow with a dancing flame burst, but I didn’t want to kill her in cold blood like she wanted to do to all these poor dogs.

Surprisingly these dogs were far too noble and friendly for their own good, given they surprisingly saved her from falling into the very skinning machine that she wanted to kill them with.

I would have saved her too, but I wouldn’t have liked it and I was assured by Dante that none of the puppies liked it, but their parents were rescue dogs and they actively saved Cruella's life.

Their parents were a very good example for all the puppies to look up to.

If the stories about their ancestors were to be believed and according to Dante, this might not even be the first time that something like this has happened and Cruella still wants to make a Dalmatian fur coat.

The Dalmatian family did have a few vegetables for me for dinner last night since Dorothy, the littlest puppy of the Dalmatian family, had an unusually avid taste for carrots.

Most people would assumed that all dogs were carnivores and not omnivores, the truth was that they were omnivores and opportunists that would consume vegetables or fruit… even to their own detriment as some fruits and vegetables are highly toxic to them.

I already knew what was and wasn’t safe for dogs to eat, as did the matriarch of the family that has already banned those foods being anywhere around their home on the pain of a puppy possibly dying. If they still had ninety nine puppies after several years, then matriarch was strict enough with this rule to the point that even the mischievous Dolly followed it and took it seriously.

I was introduced to Doug and was finally properly introduced to Delilah, the patriarch and matriarch of the family respectively.

Doug, was an interesting and very emotional big dog, he loved his hugs and was more approachable with the puppies than his wife Delilah.

There were my silent thoughts that Doug constantly gave them affectionate hugs and got stuck in puppy snuggle piles in case he never came home from work, his job was far more dangerous than Delilah’s by a mile.

Dante quietly told me that Doug has never really come from firefighting with any burns and might be a descendant of a hellhound. Given that Dolly’s body could generate far more heat than most dogs around here when the entire house got frozen over and she was Doug's eldest daughter... it fits.

Delilah did care, but didn’t go for affectionate gestures nearly as often and usually checked each and every puppy in the family to see if there were any health issues.

For a family of animals, they were all very smart in their day to day activities. Even if said daily schedule might eventually get too much notice, then they’d have issues with bipeds who would break up their family by thinking they could not take care of themselves.

At least that didn’t happen with Dr. Dave, Delilah’s biped duck coworker that successfully assisted them against an Animal Control raid.

After breakfast, I would be spending lunch here and would then be followed around by three Dalmatians as we headed off to find Hunter De Ville. Dante, Da Vinci and lastly Diesel.

Da Vinci, the sensitive female puppy artist wanted to do a portrait of me.

Diesel wanted to help us dig things up, but I think he got the wrong idea entirely about what we were doing.

Author's Note:

Mz. Ruby is going to be a far bigger problem than Muggshot was. Pom is helping Dante Dalmatian dig up De Ville history.