Kyuubi325
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Kyuubi325 · 25k words · 461 18 · 7.8k views
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Luna took the journals, and probably intends to expose what is happening. Interesting story.
Holy hell! I don't have any words to describe it other than 'wow'; that is putting it mildly mostly because of my lack of vocabulary that I cannot find a better word to describe it.
10389527
In a good way or a bad way?
10389524
If anyone’s to disaprove of it, it would be Luna.
One part confused me: I thought that Night Light was guiding Celestia through the lab-prison at first, but just before Celestia enters Aaron’s cell, it’s mentioned that she’s with a mare.
This line is my favourite part. It’s nice to see someone who doesn’t ignore mules in their world-building. In fact, now you’ve motivated me to finally go ahead with my idea to write a oneshot about a mule foal visiting the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
10389554
If you reread it, Night Light orders a mare named Fertility to show the princess to the containment areas.
10389554
Also, I’m glad you liked my story, when you post your CMC story I’ll try and give it a read!
Well done! This story has so much potential, I'd love to see what you do with the idea!
This is interesting, i would like to see Celestia face the consequences.
Now I'm curious as to what would happen would the other nations declare war on equestria
or will something else happen oh the anticipation is killing me!
But splendid job author and keep up the good work
This could make an interesting series
10389755
Why declare war? In a generation all the ponies except the Alicorns will be dead anyway. Only the viable hybrids (hippogriffs, centaurs, etc) will still be around. A war would accelerate that, yes, but it would also put the attackers at risk.
Yes, continue I request, a great read my sense entails.
10389881
Because there are several other countries that could benefit from being the first ones to conquer the lands. Not only will they be inhabiting the area but they will also obtain all the resources first, which may include magical artifacts. If any country waits too long they might miss out on land and other luxuries. So far, the only issue that shows up are the remaining ponies and 2-5 Alicorns (If Pinkie Pie is having grandchildren then I assume that Twi, Cadance and Flurry are present and are all adults). The only reason there are no hostile actions might be because of the Alicorns, but is someone discovers a way to nullify them and keep the sun and moon moving; war will happen.
Well I'm gonna follow this in the hopes you flesh it out it's screaming bigger story
10389922
And the show itself provides a possible means to move the sun and moon during season 9, and since many of the alicorn's abilities are enhanced versions of the abilities of the three tribes, it only stands to reason that taking away their magic will take away their immortality.
And that's all before we get to figuring out how to make them move automatically.
Very interesting. I'd like to see more of this universe, as well as any possible solutions.
Interesting, by all means do continue friend. You've obtained my interest and that is not an easy feat
I am very interested to see if this goes further with a sequel. Quick question though, when they "milked" Aaron, did they just take enough sperm to fertilize an egg? Or did they straight up take his balls? That bit was unclear.
10389922
Ah the great game of Geopolitics.
In 50 years their will be a great race by every foreign nation to colonised the abandoned Equestrian Lands.
The big winners in colonization will be the Griffion Kingdom from the North East, Yakistan from the North, the Changlings Kingdoms and buffalo tribes from the center, the Hippogriff Kingdom from the south but the Desert and nation of Abyssinia is a geographic land block with the exception of the railway built through it, the Abyssinians and others from the south and litteraly any naval power from the Western coast.
The Saddle Arabian's are doomed.
Although a world war could change everything.
The Dragons meanwhile just can just takeover any piece of land wherever they want.
10390190
Those ponies are not insane, they need those parts to allow the body continue producing Sperm, but the story implied that they did it once so maybe they cloned the sperm or copied it..
I feel like the sad tag should be added.
Now this is one interesting read. I would like to see more. Makes you think.
10390190
10390244
Lets just say it was a long traumatizing and somewhat painful process, but no they did not surgically remove his “equipment”.
10390357
Well now you have to give us a sequel and tell us what happened. You can't get a guy curious like that and not explain further ;)
There's definitely more to be said, but I don't know whether an expansion on this should be a sequel or a prequel.
i enjoyed this
Yeah, this is going to be the end of Celestia. Infertility could easily be blamed on her playing god with her captives. Also its obvious their data is pointless from the start, if you sacrifice morality in your exprimentation you may as well not even do it. Also obvious she doesn't actually care for any of her breeding slaves wellbeing. And yes, that IS an apt description for them given they obviously didn't consent nor received compensation.
If Celestia isn't deposed, there would be a case for invading Equestria in order to save it from her. Perhaps a joint effort from Thorax and Ember?
A couple of things, A.) Where are Centaurs coming from? Tirek is literally the only one we've seen, and it's implied he and Scorpan destroyed their home country.
B.)
10390357
... whhhy? I get the ponies seem a little laking in the knowledge deparment, but I figured they know enough for things like sperm donors to exist, and even the most simple of livestock sperm collection (and ponies have pigs, which we've see aren't intelligent) are generally not painful so... how could they fuck it up that badly?
C.)
10389922
Based on the inherent hatred every other race has for Equestria? After they helped save the Changelings, stop the Stormking, and a dozen other things the Mane 6 and Princesses have done, every nation is going to decide to attack them either opportunistically or because they imprisoned an alien?
On the one hand, I like this story and how well it both insinuates and gets to the crux of its idea. Also, Luna is best pony.
On the other hand, I hate how short it is and how it ends on a cliffhanger. That's kinda disappointing.
10390424
10390235
I’m thinking of it as a conquest race, the human alien doesn’t matter in this. Everyone wants more fertile land and when there no more land available then the only option is by obtaining it from others. So, seeing as the ponies are going extinct in a few years, others would hope to snatch a bit of the pie before some other country does; through occupation or annexation.
I think the Griffons with their greedy nature and desperate need for fertile land would really consider it. The dragons, or at least those who don’t care about Embers wishes, would definitely try to get some land just for themselves. The Yaks would either not care or go for the Crystal Empire at most. The Changeling and Hippogriffs wouldn’t do anything for different reasons.
Regardless of whether or not a war will break out, when the ponies finally go extinct or are unable to hold everything like they used to, their land will not be left alone and some other sentient species will try to occupy the empty territory.
This took a very interesting turn.
Well done story and a heck of a cliff hanger.
Personally I dont think Luna has the missing papers.
My bet is that the human got a hold of them and gave them to the planets 100% Natural paper shredders. The diamond dogs with the shit eating grins.
Gives "My dog ate my homework a rather"....ironic...ring to it? Lol
(I think ill use my favorite "Knight Breeze" quote here. Seems strangely relevant.)
The Monk
“Not telling you too much about humanity's special power, but I can give you a big hint! It is pure, concentrated spite.” -Knight Breeze
10390424
I suggest going back and reading the story more closely, but I’ll be happy to answer your questions.
A)
Actually in the novels and other lore they mentioned that there are still Centaurs around. Though perhaps not as numerous as they once were,
B)
Forcibly harvesting someone’s “material” in such a manner would be traumatic no matter how it’s done. Two, he is only a single donor who has at least a few million mares with their biological clocks ticking. They would have to be rather aggressive with the harvesting, especially since they might not be able to use it as efficiently as we can. While they have been stated as not taking his knowledge seriously, which leaves it open that might not believe him about his own limits. They might not accept these stated biological limits especially if they are under the gun for results, instead attempting to continue to harvest from him long after he’s been left dry. Which can be extremely painful, depending on the way they do it.
C)
If you read the story more closely you would have noticed it wasn’t just the human they were performing medical experiments on. They were holding at least 15 other creatures (possibly more) from various countries against their will for experimentation. Then used mental manipulation to cover it all up, causing mental issues in at least one of the subjects (Iron Will and his Alien Abduction story for example). They only kept the others (the two diamond dogs, the hippogriff, and the Gryphon) around because the spells weren’t working properly, and likely didn’t want to leak what they have been doing. Considering Equestria according to the comics is part of a sort of UN, I feel like many of their “allies” will find those journals a very interesting read, especially when they have Princess Luna to testify.
Good read. The story could stand on its own but begs for a sequel.
And please get yourself an editor.
Hmmmm... Well, it almost appears that the Ministry of Arcane Sciences, and the Ministry of Peace, exists here. After all, this was the kind of thing that Ministry Mares Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy both were involved in. Although one could argue that Goldenblood had some to do with it. But enough of my compairing this to Fallout Equestria. In truth I see the appeal to this story, although like some of the others have said it certainly begs for more chapters. It begs for a continuation.
This fic need a sequel, is really good.
This story is just screaming for a sequel
Ahh, I see the princess would rather that equestria would die With pure ponies rather then suffer the hippogriff.
So more when?
Woah, that was awesome. So well encapsulated, with all the necessary context provided so smoothly in conversation and scene details.
Truly, a terrible fate for a human sent to equestria.
More would be interesting, but I don't think anything more than a newspaper and the public's reaction to the suddenly de-classified journals would work well.
Excellent story.
Seems interesting enough to go for more. Gotta agree with some that an editor would help. Gotta agree with rikithemonk about the diamond dogs probably shredding the journals. Even if they didn't and Luna took them, there is one big take away from all of it. Even if they do recover them, it doesn't change the fact that the genetics are still going to go down hill if not crash and burn.
Band Aids don't fix gaping chest wounds. Unless it's Starbound. Then they fix about anything over time.
Damn, this is good...
Even zamairiac took interested in your story...
Sequel?
Or maybe prequel.. ?
nah i only Hope for the sequel one...
I can say you have an excellent primer here. Sort of the teaser bit. The short story that gets filled in with the full publication
For some reason I thought this would be some sort of comedy/drama where Celestia and a human have a child. That's at least what your description told me. (not the comedy part.)
10392627
such a dirty mind. Here have this.
I'm trying to see where it says Equestria's population is suddenly sterile after +1000 years of business as usual but I'll go along with the other comments. If that is the case, would not any large [super power] nation do the same? That's not saying it's moral, far from it. And it's too easy to start pointing digits at Equestria when you know if roles were reversed, the other nations would not just go, "Oh well, we'll all just roll over and die off quietly now." They would rage, wail, and run to whichever crackpot said they had the solution to all their ills.
I suppose it's just as well Equestria hasn't gotten desperate and turned to the truly radical ideas involving their most prevalent resource; magic. Ideas such as using Glimmer's time portal spell and "harvesting" viable ponies from other time lines.
In any case, this is one of those dangerous fics, ones that make you think. A lot. Bravo!
10392750
I believe this is actually addressed in the story. Celestia asked "Would your leaders not do the same?" Or something to that effect. And Aaron replied with, "without a shadow of a doubt they would. That doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."
I think a phrase I like best is "Do not go quietly into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." That phrase is perfectly shown in this story. Celestia rages against the sterility of her population with forced donors. Luna rages against to moral degradation of her sister of the health of her people with her own plans and words of anger. Aaron, he rages against being used by delighting in the suffering mind of Celestia. Not necessarily the suffering of the ponies but of Celestia herself. None of them will go quietly into that good night. No matter how many they drag down with them.
Is the human ageless?
10390499
I think the Diamond Dogs are grinning because they know that Celestia's plan is futile while she doesn't and they're waiting for the moment of horrified realisation.