POV: ???
Gasp!
As I woke up, I saw it's almost time for the sun to rise.
'Wow, it's unlike me to wake up late'
Later At Breakfest
"Why, good morning Luna!"
"gnd morn, Tia," half-heartedly muttered my half-asleep Luna as she was walking into the room with a full coffee pot drinking straight from it.
"Bad nigh-"
Knock Knock
The room doors slowly open as a guard comes in. His identity unknown thanks to the armor enchantments, I had no idea who this was. He stopped shortly after and bowed.
"Princess, we got a message from a dragon fire bottle. It's marked urgent for your eyes only."
'Urgent? Nothing actually urgent as happened since Luna's return two years ago, Discords escape, the Canterlot Wedding, and the return of the Crystal Empir-... Ok, I'll take it back, a lot of urgent things have happened in the last two years.'
After thanking the guard and taking the letter, I quickly opened it, while my sister was looking over me to see the letter. Looking at the letter I noted it was from one of the nomadic zebra tribes. I have connections to all of them, but which one is this.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Recently something of urgent news has come up. I had been in the forest looking for rare plants for my brew when I had found two foals sleeping in a cave alone. However, that is not an important part compared to what the ponies were. Both of them, brother and sister, were Alicorns.
Yes, this is real. Attached to this message is a feather from both of them for you to confirm the magical signatures. Unforitanitly, as you know our village has been in chaos and disorder since I last messaged you about the changlings and consequently riot it caused. This means that we have none to spare to send them to you across the sea, and with winter around the corner, traveling the sea would be impossible.
Not to mention the disrepair of the town and citizens.This message is a request to you to get them asap when winter ends as it would be near impossible to make the voyage during winter as I know you would want to see them as soon as possible. I fear they are in danger due to the state of everything here.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope for you to reply soon.
Mythic, Shaman of the dragon tribe.
An... ALICORN!?.
'The feather is radiating alicorn magic. We would send help but currently, the sea is infested with pirates. The most we could send would be one ship. But that ship wouldn't have enough ponies to protect it should even a small scout ship come across them.'
Celestia was too busying thinking she didn't realize Luna read the letter and go through the same thought process as her.
'Oh nononononono not good, they Are endanger, possible the most importent ponies on the planet right now since Twilight's-'
"Sister."
'What if we- NO that won't work wha-'
"Celestia Angelus"
This broke Celestia out of her thoughts as she hadn't heard that name in many years. The last time she did, was before Luna's banishment. Celestia only looked at Luna.
"I know what your thinking, Tia. If it must be a small crew that needs protection, allow me to go."
"What?! Bu-"
"Sister, I have just returned recently, yes, however right now I'm am a little more than a political tool others are trying to take advantage of. If I leave, It won't have bad collateral damage."
"But, you only just return two-"
"Sister, please. I've done nothing useful for the kingdom since my return and I won't be able to do anything for a while. Let me help, please. Beside's I returned two Years ago."
This got Celestia thinking in overdrive because she didn't want to lose her sister again.
"But even so, your powers have been drained by th-"
"Celestia, you know as well as I do how quickly an alicorn recovers. I can leave in 4 months right after winter and arrive 15 days after departing. I'll only be gone a month."
"I... bu-... sister..."
Sigh
Celestia only looked at Luna. As the moment went on as their eyes looked, Celestia thought. Soon, tears forming in her eyes as she embraced Luna in a tight hug.
"You better come back..."
POV: Mark
It didn't take lone for me to discover the magic. We had been with Mythic and Silica a couple of days but once I ask about if the horns they had, I dived right into the books of unicorn magic they had.
It's hard to believe that magic is real... But when they said it, I was eager to disprove it. But, I can't. Welp, if you can't beat them, join em. Laughing inside, I made sure I was alone and able to focus before I had tried to use magic. It was... it's. Well, magic is easy. Similar to computer programming in the ways of problem-solving except instead of creating code, it more like copying the spell matrix or what I like to call it, the coding.
Spells are like coding but instead of being some kind of a program changing something in a machine, you manipulate the world. Thermal energy, the magnetic field around you, soundwaves, electrical energy, etc.
Well, at least in theory as the books I was reading barely went into the science behind the magic. A guide I saw said that it was the easiest and hardest way to cast spells because while it's what most pony and foals learn how to do, it won't take you far. After all, complex spells, according to the book, you must know what the spell is specifically doing.
I found that odd. Why only know what it does? Wouldn't it be better to know how it does what it does? Anyways after trying my first levitation spell I could find any other spell easy enough to be visualized. So if I wanted to know more, I'd have to study the spell and learn what it does. Then maybe I could cause a simple heat spell like the one in the book.
Thinking about the spell I wanted to try, I kept thinking of how it works over and over to makes sure I had it. the average time to learn this spell with a focused study for an adult pony, according to the book is 2 months if studied and done correctly with the right method. But then again, why stop at only knowing what the spell does? Wouldn't knowing how the spell does what it does would be easier because instead of only know what it does, I'll know why and how it does that.
Meaning if I know how it works inside and out, I should be able to speed the process up instead of trial and error to getting it to do what I need it to do correctly. I wonder how illusion spells work because that's something I really want to try.
Oh, this magic is exciting. Too bad Star isn't as interested. The only thing she bothered learning was the levitation spell. When she did that I took note her horn glowed a rose red.
Didn't take me long to find my horn glowed a navy blue. I wonder why they glow certain colors.
POV: Star
One week later
Silica had taken care of Mark and Star most of the time. Mythic was out most of the time. That meant every time Silica had to go to the town she had to take the foals to make sure they were safe. Sadly this meant Star had to see the state of the town. Star, no matter what couldn't help but fell her heart down every time they go there.
People hostile, yelling over the smallest things. What used to be such a happy little place. Turned to nothing but disrepair.
For Silica, it was the same. The town was once filed with smiles and friendly faces. It was family. Now, it's a hollow husk of what it once was. It's broken. And she doesn't know if it could ever be fixed. Her family is falling apart. It's only a matter of time.
And yet as Silica left the two somewhere safe before heading into the deeper parts of town, a young zebra found them. It was Nuru and a friend he also likes to be with. She was the same age as them, and her name was Tulia.
Two months, two weeks, and 4 days later
It wasn't long until Mark and Star found they were not alone.
Over time, others came to them. They find time calming and nice to be with. Star listens to them while helping them through their problems and often enjoying having other together. Many of the town young often sneak out to find their friends. As Star and Mark were in their hidden where other zebra, fillies and colts, sat and talked. They enjoyed themselves as best as they can.
The hidden base, as the others called it, in reality, it was just a small broken hole to a blocked-off alleyway between the houses. The hole was blocked by a broken and abandon wood stand that was rotting. It also helped that only the other children could fit in the hole.
In the end, this was where many of the town's children found they can enjoy the peace and quietness of being with friends.
Star and Mark laid on their forehooves at the very back off the base watching all the children together. Each day changes as not all of them could get there plus with winter hitting two months ago ever less come. This day most of them were here. Smaller groups in other corners and others talking quietly playing with each other, with small blankets Star learned to make recently.
To the group, Mark and Star were the leaders of the group, though it was mostly seen as Star as the leader. The others came to them over time. Most of them would talk with Star for a while and they just kept coming back. Until the amount of them coming grew to the size of a classroom.
Speaking of class, many of their educations were halted when the changlings got ran out. No one went anywhere nowadays. Seeing that, Star and Mark had the older fillies and colts help the younger in their education for three days a week. They also helped after finding that their education was much farther along despite them being the same age as some of the younger ones. Unfortunately, they don't know the history of that world so they let others help out while learning themselves.
To the pair of ponies, this was their sanctuary for the children of this town that had been separated and forces into solitude. They watched and supervised them. To keep the sanctuary quite and safe from outside as well as keeping the others safe. They found that they were the most mentally mature than the others. Though they didn't mind.
Since the group started They've worn their hoods. However, since more and more kept coming and started not only stayed with them and came to be with their other friends, they felt, that if the group was trusting enough to listen to everything they say, that they should return the trust. Since then when the others came, they removed their hoods as a sign of trust. Not the cloak as showing the wings could be a massive danger to themselves if others ever found out.
There wasn't much a reaction to them removing the hoods, but since then all of them have become closer.
Though the sanctuary was for the children of the town for them to have slightly better lives, never have they thought it would have disastrous effects.
POV: Mark
"Star, you hear that?"
While the group was coming together, I and star have to notice that we have a better sense of the others in the group. Maybe it's because we're ponies? It's still unknown.
"Yeah, I do." replied star, expression sad.
As we got up from the back of the alleyway or base/sanctuary and headed to the front where the entrance was, we heard silent crying. We saw Kimya. She was quite silent in the group, but she was still apart of it. It took was a bit but when we got close to the entrance we heard screaming outside the hole that was covered with a cloth matching the wall.
We didn't have to listen long. It was a mare shouting at someone else to where Kimya. A few moments later we heard fighting and things breaking. I don't think the rest of the town cared. They likely only stayed back from the fight.
We can assume from what Kimya told us that it's probably her mother and father that had split up. They have been fighting for her and now that she comes to the group to hide, she must have thought he took her.
Star went to Kimya and silently took her into a tight embrace. I only put a few more layers of thick cloth over the wall to cover up the sound. Looking back at them I went and put a hoof over Kimya's shoulder before I go and check on everyone else.
I was never a people person. Most of the emotional issues they have, I normally let Star deal with. While I took care of other things such as finding a place for everyone. I was the one who found the alleyway and decided we could use this place for the others instead of being in the open drawing attention.
POV: Silica
Later that night at the hut
'Odd. There are more fights in town recently. And the few I heard were about the missing children. Maybe it's getting a little dangerous for Star and Mark. We have been getting close, but they always seem happy to go to town. Why would they ever want to go there? It's unfriendly and hostile to many.'
"Ah, Silica your back already?" Looking back I saw Mythic had just come inside from going out to the forest for rare plants.
"Yeah, I had to since fights are getting more common..."
"I see."
"I'm also a little worried before some of the fights I've heard seem to be about missing children."
"Perhaps you should keep an eye on the two in the case something happens."
"My thoughts exactly, however, If they do run into trouble, I doubt it would be a problem."
Raising an eyebrow Mythic looks at Silica.
"How so...?"
"Have you not notice? Mark is exceptionally talented with magic."
"How so?"
"Yep! I have no doubts that Mark has already read most if not all the books we have about pony magic. He even showed me he could turn the entire room warm a week after he hit the books. Useful during the night and especially because of winter."
As Silica began to ramble, Mythic thought in silence because raising a hoof silencing Silica.
"I see. I'll prepare dinner, you go rest."
This got Silica's already happy mood even happy even after she was just sulking talking about the way things are in town.
"Alright, thanks!"
Mythic stood there thinking on the books of pony magic she had. She had gone to Equestria to complete the final part of her shaman training and learned many things. One being that most unicorns rarely go beyond with their magic learning a few spells with their magic.
As Silica left, Mythic was left in silence doing nothing, but think.
Silica cheerfully went to go lay down and rest with Mark and Starla. She notices the idle chatter stopped and slowed down when she came into the room compared to what she heard from behind the door. She noted it but didn't think much of it.
Finally started to read the story, I think it's a great idea that it starts out in the Zebra lands, especially with recent events in the world. The being alicorns certainly would get the princesses attention fast, through I wonder what they will do once the reach Equestria. Through I think trying to reach back Equestria with Luna could be an adventure in itself and from the sounds of the situation it might seem that will actually happen maybe even before Luna manages to reach them first. I wonder what is the problems with this community of the Zebra tribe to get them apparently so disunited in the zebra's Shamans eyes? I am looking forward to see where this story goes.
Also if you are looking for a quality cover art I am open for commissions, I have done a great number of comver art here on Fimcition some of them you might have already scene.
Here is my Deviant art Gallery here and here is my Youtube channel for my speedpaitning videos.
If you are ever interested, please PM me for more information, and good luck on your story
Mix-up
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It was an interesting idea I came up with while listening to music. Most HiE stories I find only have one person show up pony or not. I like HiE stories but I'm getting a little bored with them. So I thought, why bring one person? And how would they appear in Equis(The Planet there are in). I couldn't come up with anything there so I just highjack a common situation form different anime I watched. Anyways after that, I wasn't sure where they would appear. I've seen plenty of stories dropping them near Ponyville or the Everfree, but it's getting a little overused.
Anyways while developing the village/town in the story after I had dropped them in zebra lands, I didn't know what I was going to do while the character waits for Luna's arrival. I had three ideas, and each of them sank like the Titanic. So I decided I'll just work around it, which is why there is quite a lot of time jumps in the last chapter.
Though, I do have something planned for the next for chapters. Though beware I'll probably be adding the violence tag soon, possibly even the death tag but IM not sure about that one.
Also, in regards to the commission, I'm not currently looking for something nor am I interested right now. Maybe another time if I ever decide to post another story which is a possibility. I have 4 other stories I came up with but decided to never do because I lost interest a few days later. I had the four other stories not posted. And two of them I might post when I'm done with this story if I'm still interested in them after this story.
Anyways thank you for the offer! I have it booked marked should I need it.
i hunger for more good story. i will wait for next chaper eagerly
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The next chapter will be out in a few days as soon as I proofread/edit it then go through a final reread before releasing it.
Right now, in my personal opinion of my own story, and opinion on how chapter five is currently going, I fell as if it's one of the better chapters then the most recent chapters. I was kinda mindless writing those with an Idea I wasn't sure how to go through with(witch, in the end, I just made a work-around for the time being), meaning I didn't have a clear goal.
But right now, I have a clear picture of how I want the story to continue. So should be a bit more smooth for a while.
The new chapter will be out sometime today after I'm outa school or tomorrow and for reference, it's 12:09 am at the time I posted this comment.
Edit: Next chapter is out and right now, chapter six will come out in a few days. Depending on if I feel like doing it.
I understand this is probably months late but looking through the comments of these first chapters I see no one has brought up the perspective problem. You have to have consistency with first person or third person. Frequently, you'll have a section describe what someone is doing, only to shift into the first person "I, me, and my" point of view and vice versa. It's crucial to stick with one point of view or else the reader will be confused.
My advice is to stick with third person since you're trying to show what multiple characters are doing, focusing on them at different times. Keeping track of motives and personality through multiple first person perspectives is very tricky, so I would suggest abandoning the first person perspective. I haven't read the rest of the story so far yet, but it has been only months since this story began so I can't assume this has changed.
You know, the only reason to mark POV like this is when you don't want to tell the reader who it is yet. And by "yet" I mean at least not in this chapter. Considering the cat was out of the bag just a few sentences later you could have just write it's Celestia's.
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Meh, wasn't really supposed to be a secret considering all the context clues that would be left behind. I'd explain my reasoning for doing so if I could remember
Also, just know from this point to somewhere in chapter ten is where the POV hopping problems, ends. At least, I think it does. It also might not be the best grammar wise. Can't really say much more without being bias. And looking back on the older chapters myself, I'm not entirely sure how I feel myself.
Yes, they're riddled with grammar errors and problems like that, but still, I'm still not really sure.