We all know the great story of the two sisters. We all know of Princess Luna's corruption, how she became Nightmare Moon, her plan for eternal night and how Princess Celestia banished her in the moon. But nopony knows the story of her intended last hope.
To have someone on her side, to have someone who would help her.
To what lengths would she go to ensure the Night will last forever? to what lengths will she go to have her nights duly appreciated?
What will come of this lost soul who was meant to become her last hope?
Chapters (2)
-- PLEASE NOTE! all previous comments have been removed while removing chapters 1 and 2, which no longer fit in the story until they have gone through thorough revision. Many of them were justly negative, as you can see from the state of the old prologue. I hope the new prologue will convince readers that I have made improvements this far... and not just by making it longer.
I understand if nopony will bother to comment now, knowing that previous comments have been lost due to my editing.
I just hope you still would comment with your thoughts...
New Prologue is 8k? whoa thats a big one. I guess you have a lot of background to cover before you can get your story going.
Will be a long one i guess.
Maybe ill give it a shot once i have the will and time to read it.
1275001
There's enough likelihood it's either too much background or too detailed for a prologue. I won't be able to tell until enough people manage to let me know how it went thus far. The real decider to put all of this into one prologue was because this is all playing in the past and the main story is meant to be in the present. -.- i just hope the hours spent on writing this prologue [which took more time than it took me to get to chapter 2 in the original version] weren't for jack didly
Good stuff. Yes I read the prologue again, big deal.
Can't wait for your next update.
1275199
You could have made this past events a story in itself, 8.5 thousand words is a pretty decent oneshot. And then a sequel in the present.
But go with what you planned or whatever is easier for you.
This is a great story if you would be so kind as to give an approximate schedule for future releases i and others would be very thankful.
1278134
Phew, that's really kind of hard to estimate.
I would say that considering I took nearly 2 weeks on the revision of the prologue that you can expect that to be the maximum time. Considering this chapter turned out twice(!) as long as I intended to, the next two chapters should take considerably less time to revise. There are certain bits I wish to keep in them, but expand upon, while for this prologue I had to save the old prologue in a separate document to write it over from scratch.
so between 1 and 2 weeks per chapter I'd think. I'll post a link in a blog later which leads to my google document in case some want to read a chapter before it's is finished.
Enjoyed reading the updated prologue quite a bit :> looking forward to reading moar!
much better then the old one will continue reading as fast as you can write those next chapters
1695261
Second chapter? XD if you've read the names of the chapter properly, its the old prologue and the revised prologue =3 I kept the old one there for reference.
I'm only just about to upload the real first chapter that follows the prologue ^^ but don't you worry. it makes me feel good to see stupidity. Even morons have managed to notice the "first chapter" was called old prologue XD
--EDIT-- There! removed the old prologue, it's not worth the stupidity from people that can't read a chapter's name. now all that can be read is the revised chapter. happy reading ^^
It was all right for a prologue, as long as it was. Unfortunately, the fact that it contained multiple capitalisation errors made the quality less than what it deserves. Still, I plan on reading on to see if your method of presenting the story you've set out to create is good.
Once again, the actual story itself seems to be progressing nicely, though it seems a bit sporadic at times. Unfortunately, it still has the quality-lessening feature of capitalisation errors. Still, I'll continue to watch it's development to see how it goes. Have a Twi
1725571
=O YEY A TWI! *grabs and hugs it* ^^
To be fair I started to think the first post-prologue chapter was indeed starting to feel rather... fragmented. with the prologue I had a good time revising it, but the first chapter I really had to force through [luckily from this point onwards, everything will be new, so I can type away in any direction without forcing myself along a path]. What I don't understand however is how to fix the capitalisation errors. Telling me they're there won't help me identify. as I don't see them [Either I read over them, or I don't know the correct method] English isn't my first language, yet as I get considered fluent in speech, it's hard to realise that my writing of it lacks.
What I need is somebody that can specifically point them out for me. Though granted, nobody is likely to be interested in doing so any more than people have been before.
either way, thank you for liking the story ^^, have a happy derp from me
1727621
Good sir, I would be so inclined as to take upon myself the responsibility of an editor (if you would want that, that is). I honestly would not have expected your English to be the second language, as you stated, it is pretty fluent.
Is an example, just basic things like the proper "I" referring to oneself and proper names. I know it's difficult to find these errors on your own, but that's what SpellCheck and editors are for
Write on, sir, write on.
1731556
Well with that example, I don't see the capitalisation error. you mention the whole i and I thing, which I understand [thankfully 'word replace' allows for this to be handled easily] but there's no I in that sentence. and it's based after a comma, which I thought shouldn't have a capitalisation @.@
I hope you didn't mean to replace 'he' with 'I' since this story is meant to be completely third person, not first person. Though, that could just be me misunderstanding what you meant.
but yea, I'd need an editor most likely XD but I'd rather be able to realise what I'm doing wrong.
1733433
I was referring to the "luna," which, assuming you were talking about the proper name of the character, should have been capitalised to "Luna."
Sorry for not being clearer
ohh! X.x whups!
I'll get on that. first in my google document, later in the fimfic submission =3
God damnit Alcadera you have written another great chapter, it's quite the change from your older versions.
You gotta put up new chapters faster man