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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Reds would do this to. It’s pretty annoying
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Look into some of the shit the Wagner Group has done, shady bastards.
Wow, I loved it! Cheers!
Wasn't able to comment on the previous chapter. It was too action packed which was great, and this chapter was an awesome wrap up to that!
Gotta say I'm really loving the character of Zack even more, knowing additional information about him now. Perhaps my little gripe would be the over reliance of the guards on Zack when it was time for combat.
Like, I didn't feel the guards showed much competence to live up to their namesake during those critical scenes. Granted, the spotlight was supposed to be on Zack, but with all things considered, the Pony guards should've been the ones on top of things considering they knew the layout of the castle best.
Even on the evac scene, it was Zack who was directing everyone, telling them what they needed to do to avoid being ripped apart by their Griffon enemies.
Considering the ponies lived and fought with the Griffons for a much longer time, they would have a more intimate knowledge about what Griffons were capable of and should have been the ones directly making tactical decisions on the scene instead of the human whose official job was to be the princess' advisor. Granted though, there were Russkies involved so maybe they could've used Zack's knowledge there.
(But to be fair, it was Princess Celestia who unofficially designated the role of leader unto Zack, so in that regard I guess the guards get a pass?)
I guess my main point is, the awesomeness of our main protagonist ought work alongside what should normally be the expected skillset, competency, and capabilities of those around them instead of doing everything by themselves.
But that's just me cherry picking Sarge! Frankly I can't hold a candle to your capacity to write. You have done one hell of a job with these two action packed chapters and my increased heart rate is a testament to that!
Kudos~
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Brilliant points all around, there should've been more of a reliance on the "partner force." As the guards are competent and well-trained soldiers in their own right. I deviated from it only because I wanted to show that Zack has a level of tactical competency, he's been around the block more than once.
My grand reveal of the fact that the dude is most definitely not a financial consultant by trade may have been a touch clumsy, but I'm glad to hear that it didn't ruin the story for you.
Thanks for the feedback and keep it coming!