• Member Since 19th Jun, 2020
  • offline last seen Jul 17th, 2023

Phoenix Akane


New to the writing party, but been a fan since G1

Comments ( 29 )

Well I'm watching this.

Obviously what happened to the Starlight was that she was having a Nightmare and the tottally not the Tree of Harmony reincarnating the Mane Six in the events of the chpter, or definally not their ghost or spirits of them coming back to haunt Starlight after using the magic of Friendship to defeat death itself.

I wonder what Discord and Spike are doing right now.

The Storm King invasion has yet to happen but it's deffinally "coming soon" to Equestria since its one year after the events of Magpie's story.

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its easy to see what Discord is doing, he's reading the friendship test to see what happened to fluttershy while Spike I think is smart enough to know that starlight glimmer had something to do with Twilight's death and is probably helping rarity in the background.

sunburst and Starlight's dad should die, I don't just seem them getting out of this alive since it would hurt starlight glimmer who had a mental break and tried to destroy equestria for one of them.

then again its not up to me, but Rarity who I assume has been studying up on psychology, biology, and other ways to mentally and physically torture someone. I would assume since its a year after what happened she had a lot of time to prepare.

benefit of the doubt Rarity, you have it for now .

whoa, I thought shining armor was going to get involved. Didn't expect this plot twist or maybe he'd show up later

well she is Rarity, one of her abilities is doing well in a game of thrones like environment. I trust she'd be okay in whatever place she ended up in, might even swing visits to the mortal realm.

nice, calm before the storm or in other words now that Rarity and Phoenix enjoyed a nice calm its time for Starlight glimmer to suffer a not so nice storm.

any chance there's a slap in a face of starlight by showing her twilight, applejack, fluttershy, pinkie pie ,and rainbow dash are alive now?

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Perhaps... you'll have to wait til next week to find out ;)

Not gonna lie, KINDA hope there's an epilogue where this whole thing turns out to be a nightmare that Starlight is having of what WOULD happen if she actually went through her plan in Friendship Test.

Probably not gonna happen, but I can dream

10506036
I could certainly write an alternate ending when I get time. I had an Epilogue planned which would follow the impact the whole thing had on the Apple family, but it just felt like an information dump so I never finished it.

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I'm kind of looking forward to that, if you do it.
(The alternate ending, not the planned epilogue)

That would be an idea.... if Starlight were considering doing what led up to The Friendship Test.... and had a Nightmare of this as a warning what would be the result.

Makes one wonder who or what might send her such a warning.

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Yeah, I always wondered what the reactions of the creatures close to mane 6 were, especially Spike, Discord and Celestia.It would've been nice if at least they got a mention here.But maybe in thr next chapters they will...?

I totally agree with your opinion about Rarity.She is my favorite and I don't understand ehy people don't like her very much.I mean yeah, she can be self centered and vanitous, but she is also very mature, caring and also her episode and lessons are the best, at least in my opinion

You made one mistake though:Jet Set is not navy, he is gray.Diamond Cutter is the navy one.

There are two people in the fandom:
-the ones that think that if Fluttershy was the survivor she would be probably even more merciless and sadistic than Rarity
-and the ones that think she would probably killed herself after if she was the survivor due to the trauma

I really liked the story, you gave the characters great justice.And I also like that they are in character.I dunno why, but I totally expected Rarity to do that.However, there are some things that I don't like, such as:
-the fact that we don't get to see other creature's reactions, such as Spike, the CMCs, Shining Armor, Celestia.It would've been more impactful if we saw them grieving or thinking about the mane 6
-also it would've been nice if you made a chapter about the rest of the mane 5 summoning Rarity and meeting her.
-oh and also about that.It's kinda sad that we don't know and see how the mane 5 reacted to Rarity's death and deeds.I really expected that to be mentioned in the last chapter somehow or at least in an epilogue
Oh and there was one thing that I did not understand:in a chapter, Rarity said that if it wasn't for Starlight, in her place would be Suri.Did that meant that Rarity planned to get revenge on them prior to the test?And why and how?Considering then she wasn't insane as after the test

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Hi, thanks for your feedback!

This was a passion/therapy piece, so my main focus was on the revenge part. I had originally planned an epilogue which would have addressed many of the reactions/issues you pinpointed, but it felt too much like an exposition dump and was dropped halfway through writing - it even would've looked at who took on the element of generosity after Rarity's death.

If it was something people showed interest in, I might have finished it, but previous reviewers were more interested in Starlight possibly dreaming the whole thing, as a beforehand warning to not do the Friendship Test.

Regarding the revenge on Suri and the other ponies who wronged her, the idea of revenge on them was probably always knocking around in Rarity's head, but the psychological trauma of the Friendship Test finally pushed her over the edge from fantasy to reality.

Hopefully this answers some of the questions you had and I'm glad you liked the story overall - keeping them in character was a major concern for me so I'm happy that I succeeded there.
~Phoenix

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She could've gone either way, really. Same for Rarity x

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I used the information on the MLP fandom wiki, but probably still got confused while writing x

10613355
Rarity doesn't get nearly as much credit as she deserves x

I'm loving the story so far! I hope this isn't too condescending or anything, but as far as "gore stories for the sake of gore" go, the plot is pretty good. Your grammar and spelling are wonderful too; I haven't been able to spot any mistakes so far, and it's been making my reading experience flow that much more smoothly and allowing me to really get into the story! I'm also not really a fan of OCs, but the introduction of a demon male alicorn really made me think...this is a completely random and off-the-wall train of thought/theory, but what if the reason that there's no male alicorns in canon is because all (or at least most) of them are demons? Maybe created via the use of dark magic down in Tartarus in exchange for their souls (or a part of it), which leads to a loss of morals, which usually leads to the development of a love for torture while rare..."noble," let's say...ones can still love as he loves Rarity? Sorry for going on a bit of a tangent. :trollestia:

Anyways, I completely agree with what you said about Rarity; I used to hate on her a lot, but personally, I believe it's more of a facade than anything else. It must be a lot of pressure to be the bearer of the Element of Generosity while still running boutiques in several cities known for their populations of snobby and/or uncaring ponies.

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Hi! I'm glad you're enjoying this fanfic. Not condescending at all, in fact, I consider it a compliment that my grammar and spelling are on point. I proof read all my stories repeatedly (I have a fanfic.net account) to make sure there are minimal errors - there's nothing more off-putting when you're reading a fanfic and there's a really obvious spelling/homophonic error. Thank you for the compliment on Phoenix too. His backstory consisted of his parents selling parts of their own souls to give him healing powers, only for them to use him as a living first aid kit. By the time he was of age, he was tired of being a martyr to his parent's desire to be revered and became selfish with his powers (being picky about who he healed, making the healing process painful, having a fountain of youth that was molten lava instead of water) and was condemned to Tartarus after he rebelled by setting his father on fire and burying his corpse in the Canterlot Castle gardens. Safe to say he matured a lot while he was in Tartarus. But you make an excellent point about male alicorns potentially being all/mostly demons - maybe only females were eligible for the throne, or male alicorns had no natural powers. Tangent or not, your comments have also made me think more about it.

Thanks again for reviewing, it was enlightening to read your comment.

I love me a good revenge story, especially one so deserved! You even made starlight irredeemable In the end. Pretty clear that she's only sorry this happened to her, not about the horrors she committed, even in the depths of Tartarus

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Thank you ^_^ Anypony capable of setting up and proceeding with something as horrific as The Friendship Test would be irredeemable, so I'm glad I succeeded in portraying that with this final chapter x

Let's get this party started! :pinkiehappy:

I agree about Rarity. I very rarely see her on top in stories and it makes me sad. Shes my second favorite, right after Fluttershy. This is rad so far! Also, Phoenix rocks socks! :heart:

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