Who would of guessed a portal to another dimension would open up in my room no less. Being teleported to a colourful fantasy land of mythic proportions is pretty jarring, let's see where this goes shall we?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to swear, it just happens sometimes, and no I do not have Tourettes either. I'll try my best to curb my language from now on haha." I said whilst rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly.
10178243 Mostly because my friends in College would notice I swore after every sentence not knowing myself that I do, they use to say I had it, even though Tourettes is something entirely different to just swearing all the time. It got me in trouble with my tutor a few times, I'd be mid-sentence and she'd immediately scold me for swearing in front of people, I didn't even know! It's a bad habit I guess haha.
10178172 Cheers! I'm not really a sciency guy, so I didn't really know what would happen if an actual portal showed up and the chances. Quite interesting actually.
"Ah, here we are, out through these doors is Ponyville and I hope that you don't return to this Hospital, otherwise I'll have to tell you off" Nurse Redheart joked whilst opening up the double doors with her magic, not knowing how much time had passed since I was immersed in our conversation, whilst the others were talking between themselves giving me looks back and forth, I still don't get seeing magic in front of me, it's a little hard to get used to, but it would be fuckin brilliant if I could learn it.
Nurse redheart doesnt have magic (not a unicorn I mean) so unless this is a completely alternate universe with ponies having some latent telekinetic capabilities, you should change the first sentence here.
"We have a guest, but don't freak out, the pair of you I mean," I said whilst my brow was upturned.
A bit of a weird sentence, who is speaking here.
Other than that the only comment I have is that this is an interesting story, even though i dont really like anthro equestria
10180653 Cheers for the heads up! I didn't realise I left a mistake like that in there, it's meant to be Twilight talking haha. I'll get it sorted right away!
Also regarding towards none unicorns having magic and stuff I'm deciding the worlds magic and basing it on something else to make it more interesting instead of only Unicorns and Alicorns allowed to use magic and so on. In quick terms, anyone in this Universe that aren't born a Unicorn/Alicorn etc has the power to learn that sort of magic, either via normal means like constant training and knowledge or an object that can enhance their latent abilities. This will be explained later on in the story so don't worry.
Also thanks so much! I appreciate your help! And I'm glad my story isn't that boring. :)
What's up with the mention of tourettes?
10178243
Mostly because my friends in College would notice I swore after every sentence not knowing myself that I do, they use to say I had it, even though Tourettes is something entirely different to just swearing all the time. It got me in trouble with my tutor a few times, I'd be mid-sentence and she'd immediately scold me for swearing in front of people, I didn't even know! It's a bad habit I guess haha.
10178172
Cheers! I'm not really a sciency guy, so I didn't really know what would happen if an actual portal showed up and the chances. Quite interesting actually.
Nurse redheart doesnt have magic (not a unicorn I mean) so unless this is a completely alternate universe with ponies having some latent telekinetic capabilities, you should change the first sentence here.
A bit of a weird sentence, who is speaking here.
Other than that the only comment I have is that this is an interesting story, even though i dont really like anthro equestria
10180653
Cheers for the heads up! I didn't realise I left a mistake like that in there, it's meant to be Twilight talking haha. I'll get it sorted right away!
Also regarding towards none unicorns having magic and stuff I'm deciding the worlds magic and basing it on something else to make it more interesting instead of only Unicorns and Alicorns allowed to use magic and so on. In quick terms, anyone in this Universe that aren't born a Unicorn/Alicorn etc has the power to learn that sort of magic, either via normal means like constant training and knowledge or an object that can enhance their latent abilities. This will be explained later on in the story so don't worry.
Also thanks so much! I appreciate your help! And I'm glad my story isn't that boring. :)