Party Favors
The hardest part about putting a party together was getting everyone in one place at the same time. Pinkie Pie, the event’s organizer, had a system. The party started at 6, but she told Twilight -- who always had a habit of arriving early -- that it was at 6:30. Rarity’s invitation (the only one Pinkie made, specifically for her) had the party listed as starting at 5 due to the mare’s habit of showing up fashionably late and already fashionably tipsy. Applejack and Fluttershy were always punctual, so they were given the true starting time of the party. Rainbow Dash, the guest of honor herself, was told the party would start at 4 on the expectation she would forget about the party, remember, get distracted, forget about it again, and then finally hurry over in a panic at the last minute.
Thanks to her system, all five of Pinkie’s friends arrived at Sugarcube Corner promptly at 6pm.
“Welcome! Welcome!” Pinkie cheered as they filed inside, Rainbow Dash coming in last and pushing the door shut behind her. “I’m so happy everyone could make it! Did you find the place okay?”
“Pinkie, we’ve been here. Like, a lot.” Twilight remarked.
“Yeah, but did you?”
“You don’t happen to have a refreshments table, do you darling?” Rarity said, lifting a bag with three distinctive necks of champagne bottles sticking out of the top. “It isn’t a party without mimosas, now is it?”
“You sure you brought enough champagne?” Applejack asked with a snort.
“Well, I did have a fourth,” Rarity said, checking the bag. “But a certain someone might have gone ahead and finished it off.” She gave Applejack a wide smile, put a hoof to her lips, and whispered ‘Sshhhhhh’ before staggering over to the big table in the center of the room.
“You guys have no idea how long I’ve been looking forward to this,” Rainbow Dash said, fluttering her wings excitedly. “I needed a break. Wonderbolts practice has been killing me.”
“I’m sure it has,” said Applejack flatly, not disguising the lingering look she gave the pegasus’ belly. While there were technically only six party guests in attendance, none of them could ignore the presence of the seventh nestled inside Dash. Her belly had almost tripled in size since the last time they’d all been together and she looked like all it would take was a hard sneeze to send her into labor. Still, she definitely and obstinately refused to mention the pregnancy that was steadily nearing its end.
“Hey, I don’t wanna complain or whatever,” Dash asked, scratching the back of her head. “But why are we having my birthday party a month early?”
“Well, y’know, I’ve got a lot of princess...stuff...going on next month,” Twilight said. “But I didn’t want to miss your birthday, so I thought it would be better if we did it now.”
“I’ve got an exhibition in Canterlot the same week,” Rarity said, mixing herself another mimosa in the champagne glass she’d brought. “I would just hate to blow off your party.”
“And I got an apple thing. Or somethin’.” Applejack sighed, rolling her eyes.
While the party was left to Pinkie to organize, it was actually an idea of Rarity’s, who was determined to throw Rainbow Dash a foal shower whether she knew it or not.
“Guys, that’s...you didn’t have to do all this,” Dash said with a sniff. To her friends’ surprise, her eyes began welling up. “I woulda been okay, you didn’t…” She cleared her throat and sniffed again, a tear rolling down her cheek. “This is really cool of you guys…”
“Oh darling!” Rarity put down her glass and hurried to Dash’s side. “Darling, of course we wanted to! We couldn’t have you be alone while-”
“Yo, is that a cake?” Dash shouted as she wiped her tears and waddled past Rarity, who stood frozen in place with a hoof still outstretched. She slowly put it back down on the ground, flipped her mane out of her eyes and cleared her throat.
“Well. Nevermind, then.”
Dash’s mouth was watering as she approached the wide sheet cake that took up a third of the folding table it sat on. The icing was a combination of blue and pink and had a message written on it, reading ‘Congratulations On The Foal.’ However, directly behind the last word, someone had badly drawn the word ‘Day’ in green icing, cramming it in the little space between it and the edge of the cake.
“I asked the Cakes to make it just for you!” Pinkie Pie chirped as she came bounding up to her side.
“So...what’s a ‘Foal Day?’” Dash asked, cocking her head.
“Oh, that’s just what earth ponies call a birthday!” Pinkie whipped her head around and stared at Applejack. “Isn’t that right?”
“Yeah, sure. Whatever you say,” Applejack said as Rarity poured her a very strong mimosa.
“Would it be cool if I got a piece early?” Dash glanced over her shoulder and rubbed her belly. “I know I’m supposed to wait, but I haven’t eaten since lunch and…”
“Why not!? It’s your party, silly!” Pinkie nudged Dash out of the way and carefully cut a sizable square of cake and moved it to a paper plate without spilling a crumb. Dash raised her eyebrows at the filling inside.
“What kinda cake is it?”
“It’s mostly chocolate, but I got them to add in some special stuff. Like caramel and marshmallow creme and cayenne pepper and cinnamon.”
“Whoa.” Dash snatched the plate away from Pinkie and took a bite. The moment it hit her tongue, she tossed her head back and groaned. “Oh man, that’s good.”
“Glad you like it!” Pinkie hesitated, watching Dash devour the slice of cake. She glanced down at the mare’s stomach, discreetly took a glob of icing onto her hoof, and threw it onto Dash’s belly.
“Oopsie! I’m so clumsy!”
“What?” Dash said, looking up from her cake.
“Sorry, Dashy! Lemme get that for ya!” Pinkie snatched a nearby napkin and crouched as she rubbed the spot away, using it as an excuse to feel Dash’s baby bump. “Geeze-louise, I’m getting it everywhere!”
Pinkie flopped onto her back and crawled underneath Rainbow Dash, effectively hidden underneath her belly. Once she was directly underneath, she turned her head and pressed her ear to the warm, taut surface and listened carefully.
“Uh, Pinkie? What are you doing?”
“Quiet!” Pinkie snapped, holding her breath as she bit her lip. After a few seconds, she was able to tune out the sounds of the room and could hear the heavy, rhythmic thump-thump, thump-thump of Dash’s heartbeat. Pinkie bit her tongue and held her hooves to Dash’s belly, swishing her tail across the ground. Then, for a split second, she heard a very faint sound beneath the heartbeat, something that might have been a light gurgle if not for the way it matched the rhythm of Dash’s heart.
“Eeeeeeeeee!” Pinkie shrieked, making Dash and the foal jump simultaneously. “I heard it! I heard it!” She squealed, kicking her hooves against the ground and filling the room with a rapid clopclopclopclopclopclop.
“H-heard what? What are you talkin’ about?” Dash asked. Pinkie quickly scrambled to her hooves and stared at Dash with a flat expression.
“Oh, nothing. Sorry I got all that icing on you.” She picked up the plastic spatula in her teeth. “Want more cake?”
Across the room, Applejack finished her drink and set the glass down on a table with a sigh. “This is gettin’ damn ridiculous,” she whispered to Rarity. “She’s about to pop and she still won’t admit it.”
“Lighten up! Maybe it’s all an act and she’s going to surprise us at the very end! You never know!” Rarity answered, slurring her words together. Applejack narrowed her eyes and frowned.
“Rarity, how many mimosas have you had?”
“It’s a party, darling. Who’s counting?” She gave Applejack an exaggerated wink as she took another sip from her glass.
“Hellooooo down there!” called a voice from the top of the stairs. Mrs. Cake came halfway down and poked her head around the corner. “I’ll just be two shakes of a lamb’s tail, don’t mind me! You all doing okie-dokie down here?”
“Okie-dokie-smokie-loki-malokie!” Pinkie cried out.
“Thanks again for letting us use the shop tonight!” Twilight said as Mrs. Cake crept down to the landing.
“Of course, dearies! How could I say no to you girls? Especially for such an occasion.” Mrs. Cake glanced around the room until her eyes fell on Rainbow Dash and lit up. “I just couldn’t help making a quick appearance!”
Mrs. Cake quickly trotted across the room and threw herself on Dash, pulling her into a tight, motherly hug.
“Oh, I remember when you were just a little thing! Now look at you! Congratulations, Rainbow Dash!”
“I’m not pregn- I mean, congratulations to what?” Dash shuffled in place once Mrs. Cake released her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t know what I’m talking- The baby, dearie! Congratulations on the foal! When are you due?”
“There’s no baby, I’m not pregnant.”
Mrs. Cake’s smile faltered a little as a wrinkle appeared between her eyes. She blinked at Dash, one ear folding down on top of her head. After a long, tense silence, Mrs. Cake burst into a fit of room-filling laughter.
“Oh my stars, you girls are a hoot and a half! Have yourself some fun tonight! This might be your last chance for a while, dontcha know.” Mrs. Cake snorted laughter and gave Dash’s belly an unexpected pat. “‘There’s no baby,’ hah! I swear, I can be so gullible sometimes!”
Mrs. Cake cut herself a small slice of cake and ate it on the way up the stairs.
“Mm, golly, I missed my Craving Cake. Maybe we should sell these more often…”
Dash’s friends stared at her in silence, waiting for her to speak first. She shuffled in place, glancing at all of them in turns, then bit her lip and touched a hoof to her belly.
“So uhh…can we do presents now?”
Pinkie Pie went into the back room to retrieve the wagon of presents while the others gathered around the table in the center of the room. Rarity was seated next to Dash and was pouring herself another mimosa, which was about three parts champagne to one part orange juice.
“Can I make you one of these, darling?” she asked.
“Nah, that’s okay. I can’t do...orange juice.”
“More for me!”
“Okay Dashie! Which one first?” asked Pinkie as she stacked the wrapped gifts on the table. Dash tapped her hooves excitedly before her face turned to a frown as she considered what might have been the most important question she’d ever been asked.
“Uhhhhhh that one!” she said, pointing to the largest box at the end of the table. Pinkie moved to get it, but Dash interrupted. “No wait. That one.”
Pinkie spun around and moved to the other end of the table for the elegantly wrapped black-and-silver gift bag.
“Stop. The one in the middle, the little one.”
Pinkie dropped the bag back on the table and sighed on the way to the small, flat gift between the others.
“Hang on. I changed my mind, gimme the-”
“Just pick one!” Applejack shouted, banging a hoof on the table.
“Geeze, AJ, I’m right here! You don’t gotta yell.” Dash frowned, swished her tail, then nodded for Pinkie to bring her the smallest gift, first.
“That’s mine! That’s from me!” Twilight said, bouncing giddily at the end of the table that creaked as she rocked it.
“I think I coulda figured that out,” Dash said, holding up what was clearly a gift wrapped book. However, after tearing the wrapping paper away with her teeth, she found it was actually three books: brand-new editions of the Daring Do children’s book spin off ‘Da Adventures of Dawing Doo.’
“Oh...They’re, uh....K-kids books, huh?” Dash swallowed and forced a smile even as she shuffled her wings uncomfortably.
“Maybe, but nobody can call themselves a Daring Do fan without owning the full collection, can they? And besides, they’re remarkably well-suited for older readers, too!”
“‘Wet’s go down to da fowest and pway in da wiver today,’' Rainbow Dash slowly read from one of the volumes.
“The...the language takes some getting used to, I’ll admit.” Twilight cleared her throat and added, “Well, now you’ve got the full set! Maybe...someone else will enjoy them a little later.”
Dash pointed to one of the two bigger packages on the table and Pinkie slid it towards her. She opened it to find it contained a special baby-carrier made for pegasi to fly with their baby strapped underneath them.
“Oh, that’s from me,” said Fluttershy, raising a hoof at the far end of the table. “It straps around your wings so you can fly while carrying your…” She hesitated and chewed on her lip. “Well, whatever you want to carry, I guess.”
“Okay?” Dash lifted the carrier out of the box and puzzled at it before her face lit up. “Hey, yeah. I bet I can use it for exercise, too! You just gotta put the bars through the holders, right?” She gestured to what were clearly holes meant for a foal’s legs. “I’m probably gonna need it to work off all the weight this diet put on me. Did I tell you guys the Wonderbolts put me on this-”
“Okay! Next present!” Pinkie interrupted, grabbing the fancy gift bag and tossing it to Dash.
“Oh oh oh, this one’s from me!” Rarity said, bouncing excitedly and sloshing what might have been her fourth mimosa onto the table.
Dash turned the bag upside-down and dumped out three packages containing elastic girdles.
“Now, you are going to love these to get your figure back,” Rarity said, slurring as she bumped against Dash. “They’re for athletes because they...they squeeze the muscles to... help them get back into shape, you see?” Rarity fell into a fit of sloppy laughter and silently mouthed ‘I don’t know’ to Fluttershy across the table.
“Oh cool, like compression shirts?” Dash nodded and rubbed her bloated middle. “Y’know, I think I might actually need these after the foal comes.”
Silence crashed across the room, the five mares all staring at one another. Dash glanced up, a puzzled look crossing her face before being replaced by fear.
“I MEAN. DIET. THE DIET. WHEN THE DIET IS OVER.”
“No. Horseapples, that is not what you said!” Applejack shouted, banging a hoof on the table. “You’re damn near ready to drop that foal by the end of the week! Just admit it already!”
“I don’t know what you’re even talking about,” said Dash, forcing a calm, even tone to her voice even as her wings trembled.
“Dash, we know you’re worried, but you really can tell us the truth,” Twilight interjected. “We’re not going to think any less of you after-”
“Hey hey hey! We still got presents to get through! Let’s go! I want some more cake!” Dash said, raising her voice to drown out Twilight’s. She snatched the package Pinkie was in the middle of handing her and quickly tore it open. All arguments were stopped cold once Dash took out of the box an intensely unsettling clown doll with enormous, realistic eyes, a rictus grin, and a rattle that sounded more like a snake than a baby toy.
“That’s mine!” Pinkie said, clapping her hooves together. “Isn’t he the cutest?”
“Wow, he’s...totally something,” Dash said, nodding slowly as she turned the doll and found the eyes seeming to follow her. With a polite smile to Pinkie, she quickly put the doll back in its box, hidden from sight, but not from their dreams. “Okay, last one. This from you, AJ?”
“Yep,” said Applejack through her teeth as she forced a smile. “From me.”
“I bet it’s some kinda game you think you can smoke me in,” Dash said as she pulled away the wrapping. “Even if it’s a set-up, I can still whip your butt in anything you throw-”
Dash finally glanced at the gift she was unwrapping and stopped. It was diapers. An extra-large pack of them.
Applejack watched with a sly smirk, tapping her hoof on the table and playfully swishing her tail. Dash blinked and swallowed before returning the look with a casual chuckle. “H-hey, what’s with the...diapers?”
“Oh, I just happened to notice you been runnin’ to the bathroom a whole awful lot, lately,” Applejack said, slowly. “Granny Smith had herself the same problem for a while, but found the diapers real helpful whenever she had a little accident. I just figured I’d help you out, is all.” She sat up and tipped her hat back. “If you don’t need ‘em, I could always...take ‘em back.”
Rainbow Dash’s face fell as she realized what everyone else did: she was stuck. Only three options presented themselves to her. Dash could accept the diapers and maintain her lie, but be forced to accept an even more embarrassing one. She could deny everything and lose out on possibly the most valuable item for a new parent to have. Or she could finally admit to the truth like Applejack wanted.
Dash swallowed and her eyes flicked between Applejack and the diapers, but she otherwise didn’t move. After nearly thirty seconds of silence, Applejack sighed and stood from her seat.
“Well, I figure one of my uncles could use a set of-”
“N-no!” Dash snatched back the package of diapers, her eyes wide. After a moment, she took a deep breath and released it through her mouth. “I...I guess I can’t really hide it anymore…”
A sigh went through the room as a tension was finally released. Applejack smiled and settled back in her seat.
“All we wanted was the truth, Rainbow Dash. You didn’t have ta do all this sneakin’ around-”
“I started to realize this diet puts a lotta strain on my bladder, y’know?” Dash continued, looking at the table. “Lotta fluids and everything, so sometimes I guess I just can’t...hold it all in.”
Applejack stared at her, her jaw slack in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?”
Dash opened her mouth to respond, but suddenly clenched her teeth and caught her breath. Her eye twitched slightly and her wings shifted. A moment later, she hauled herself out of her seat and uncomfortably shuffled away from the table.
“Actually, I think I’m about to have an accident right now so lemme just go to the bathroom real quick just two seconds I’ll be right back be right back,” Dash said in one breath as she waddled into the nearby restroom and kicked the door shut behind her with a loud slam.
Applejack made a loud groan and collapsed against the table, beating her head against the wood. “I swear, she’s about to drive me outta my skin.”
“She’d better not take too long in there,” said Rarity as she peered into the bottom of her empty glass. “This champagne is going through me like water through a hose.”
“I don’t understand it,” Applejack said, looking up at the others. “I just do not understand. Why is she still doin’ this?”
“It’s a sunk-cost fallacy,” Twilight explained. “She spent so much time trying to convince us she wasn’t pregnant that now she doesn’t think she can stop.”
“How much time has she got left?”
Twilight glanced at Fluttershy, who said, “We’re thinking just about a week or two. Give or take a couple days.”
“So we got just about that long to put her nose in it and force her to tell us the truth.” Applejack screwed her face into a determined scowl. “That diaper stunt was the best I got, but I can think of somethin’ else to drag it outta her.”
“Applejack…” Twilight frowned and shifted her wings. “Have you stopped to think that...maybe it doesn’t really matter?”
“Doesn’t matter? She spent eleven whole months tryin’ ta gaslight us into-”
“It’s not our job to interrogate her. We’re her friends. We don’t need the truth to still be there for her.”
“She’s not making it easy, granted,” Rarity said. “But we know how she is.”
“She’ll come around eventually,” added Fluttershy. “Once she sees the baby, she’ll probably realize how silly she’s been.”
“And until then, I don’t see a reason to really force it,” said Twilight. “She’s doing her best. I can tell.”
“I thought it was kinda fun, like a game!” Pinkie giggled. “She’s just making the surprise last even longer.”
“How could y’all just...I mean... Y’all are just gonna let her sit there and lie without…” Applejack swallowed and looked at her friends, then down at the table. She tapped her hoof, deep in thought, then tossed her hat down with a frustrated huff.
“I been so daggum mad at how stubborn she’s been,” she mumbled to herself, “that I never even looked at what I was doin’.”
“It’s Rainbow Dash, after all,” Twilight said with a smirk. “She always comes around in the end, even if it takes her a little longer.”
“I guess y’all are right,” Applejack sighed. “I figure I was so determined to drag the truth out by force that I wasn’t given her the room to feel safe admittin’ it herself. ‘Course she’s scared. Who wouldn’t be?” She made a tch sound and shook her head. “Guess I gotta make it up to her, now.”
The bathroom door was yanked open with a loud slam, making everyone jump. Rainbow Dash stumbled out of the doorway, panting and trembling with panic in her eyes.
“Hey, so I gotta go, guys. I forgot I had a-” She paused and winced in pain for a few seconds, then shouted. “I don’t know! Something else!”
Dash galloped for the door, beat her wings, and took to the air faster than any of them had seen her move in months. As the others watched her soar away from Sugarcube Corner, Rarity slid out of her seat and stumbled for the bathroom. “Finally…”
“What was that all about?” Twilight asked.
“Do you think she-” Applejack began, but was interrupted by a frustrated groan as Rarity came out of the bathroom, shaking her hooves dry.
“Rainbow! At least put down a towel if you’re going to make a mess.”
Fluttershy hurried past Rarity for the bathroom and glanced at the pool of liquid on the tile floor.
“Rarity, that’s not water. That’s Dash’s water.”
“Her water? You mean…” Rarity stared down at her hooves in horror and shuddered. “I will need several showers.”
“She’s in labor?!” Twilight shouted, flapping her wings in a panic. “The foal’s coming early?!”
“Yep, definitely Dashie’s foal,” Pinkie nodded to herself.
“What do we do? Where did she go?” asked Fluttershy.
“Hopefully the hospital, if she’s got any brains in her head,” said Applejack. “Twi, you and Fluttershy go ahead of us. Even with that foal in her belly, she’ll still beat us there from the air.”
The two winged ponies nodded before taking to the air, following the Dash’s path above the buildings. The other three hurried across the ground, with Applejack taking the lead. Pinkie hopped beside her -- somehow keeping pace -- and happily giggled to herself.
“Baby baby baby! We finally get to see Rainbow’s baby! If it’s a boy, she should name him Crimson Bolt! And if it’s a girl, she should name her Rainbow Dash 2!”
“Stop stop stop!” Rarity panted as she slowed to a stop. “I was not prepared to run today. You all will have to go on without-” She gagged as the two full bottles of champagne she drank came back to haunt her. “Go on without me.”
“Dagnabbit, we don’t got time-” Applejack began, but Pinkie shushed her before hopping to Rarity’s side.
“Hey Rarity, I bet if we get there soon enough, Dash will let you hold the foooaaal…” She sang the last word, drawing it out as she wiggled her eyebrows. Rarity glanced up and met Pinkie’s eyes, her own sparkling at the idea. She clambered upright and took a deep breath before tying her mane back in a ponytail.
“Let’s go.”
It took about twenty minutes to them to gallop across town to the hospital, where they found Twilight and Fluttershy standing outside and looking up at the sky.
“What’s goin’ on?” Applejack asked while Rarity stopped to vomit in a trashcan. “What are y’all doin’ out here?”
“We don’t know where Rainbow is. They won’t let us pass unless we know what room she’s in,” said Twilight.
“Won’t let ya? You’re a dang princess, just make ‘em!”
“You know I can’t do that, AJ. They’re just doing their jobs.”
“We thought maybe we beat Rainbow Dash here, so we’re waiting to see if she’s coming,” said Fluttershy.
“Maybe she went to Cloudsdale?” asked Applejack.
“I hope not. That’s too far away, especially if her water’s already broken.”
“She’s probably been in labor all day and never noticed,” added Twilight.
“Dang it…” Applejack grumbled. “None of this woulda happened if I hadn’t spooked her.”
“Hey!” Pinkie shouted, bouncing over the other’s heads and pointing to the hospital. “Is that Soarin?”
The rest of them whirled around and spotted the young stallion staggering out of the front door of the hospital, looking exhausted as he leaned against a nearby bench. He froze once he realized he was being watched, then gave a casual wave and tried to take to the air.
“Grab him,” said Applejack.
Twilight gripped Soarin’s tail by magic and kept him from flying away as Applejack took a running leap and landed on his back, pinning him to the ground.
“H-hey everybody!” Soarin stammered, as if he wasn’t pinned face-down in the dirt. “Never thought I’d find you guys here. Wh-where’s Rainbow Dash?”
“Cut the crap, loverboy,” Applejack growled, squinting her eyes. “We know it’s your foal. Now, what room is she in?”
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Soarin said, trying to wiggle out from under Applejack. She didn’t move. “I was here getting a Wonderbolts physical!”
“Hasn’t this gone on long enough?” Twilight said with a scowl. Soarin’s eyes widened as he glanced at all the mares in turn, as if counting how outnumbered he was. Swallowing, he flapped his wings impotently against the ground.
“She said she’d beat me up if I told anyone…”
“So?” Applejack said. “Rainbow Dash said she’d beat me up eight times just this week and we ain’t ever fought but once.” She paused and looked away. “Wait...twice. Maybe three times.”
“We’re just here to support her,” Fluttershy said, gently. “You don’t have to protect her from her own friends. Where is she?”
Soarin chewed on his tongue, furrowing his brow. After a tense moment of silence, he sighed and said, “Second floor maternity wing, room 201.”
“Thank you,” Twilight sighed as Applejack climbed off and helped him off the ground. “Hang on, what are you doing out here then?”
“The...the doctors thought I was gonna faint,” he chuckled, scratching the back of his head. “So they told me to get some fresh air.”
“If you’re gonna faint, then faint!” Applejack shouted, pointing to the door. “But you better get your butt back in there and stay put with the mother of yer dang foal! She ain’t ever needed you like she needs you now!”
“B-but she…” Soarin swallowed and folded his ears back. “O-okay…” On his way back inside, he stopped at the doorway and glanced back.
“Boy, don’t make me go get my shotgun!” Applejack yelled, stomping a hoof in the dirt.
“Maybe we should give the two of them some space,” Twilight said, gently.
“Horseapples, I ain’t leavin’ until I know both her and that foal are safe,” said Applejack as she marched directly through the sliding doors. The others glanced at one another, shrugged, then followed her.
After arriving at the maternity ward, the five of them hung around in the waiting room, occasionally getting up to ask one of the nurses the time. Applejack spent most of the time pacing back and forth, too anxious to keep still. Fluttershy was equally as nervous, but kept to her seat and preened her wings. Twilight occupied herself with a tiny book she apparently carried with her at all times for just such an occasion. Pinkie Pie realized she’d left the cake behind and had run back to get it. Rarity had taken a seat by the window and put on a very large pair of sunglasses. The rest of them were fairly certain she’d fallen asleep.
After almost seven hours, all of them but Applejack had nodded off at least once. It was she who the nurse addressed on the way out into the lobby.
“Are you Miss Rainbow Dash’s friends?” she asked. At the sound of her name, the five mares all looked up and climbed to their hooves.
“Yes, ma’am. Why, somethin’ wrong?”
“Nothing wrong at all. She and the foal are doing just fine,” the nurse said with a smile and sigh. “They’ll be ready for visitors in about an hour.”
“Oh thank God,” Applejack groaned, flopping into her chair and releasing all the tension she’d kept bottled up. “I swear, that featherbrain is gonna be the death of me.”
At the end of the hour, the nurse returned and led the small crowd of ponies and one half-eaten cake to a small, comfortable room at the end of the hall. Inside, Rainbow Dash was sitting up in bed, her mane tousled and sweaty and with bags under her eyes and a tired smile on her face. In her lap was cradled a tiny foal with an eggshell-white coat and a vibrant, chromatic mane like their mother’s. At the sound of gasping, the foal turned and squinted open their emerald green eyes.
“Look at that face!” Rarity cooed. “Is it a boy or a girl?”
“A boy,” said Dash, her voice hoarse.
“A...a colt! How marvelous!” Rarity backed away and waited until she was out of sight, then scowled and passed over a bag of bits to Pinkie Pie. “Damn it.”
“He’s right healthy, I can tell,” Applejack said, grinning from ear to ear. “You got a name for him yet?”
“I got no idea. I think Soarin’ had some ideas.”
“Where is he?” Twilight asked, glancing around.
“I think he fainted a few hours ago. They took him to another room,” Dash shrugged. The foal made a cooing sound and wiggled in her lap, then turned over on his side and stretched his tiny wings.
“Hey...guys...I know I’ve been acting kinda weird for a while. Just a lotta big changes going on, y’know? I was freaking out all the time and didn’t know what to do.” Dash sighed and looked down at her baby, scratching between his wings as she continued. “But you guys have been so cool about it, looking out for me even while I was...well, it was cool of you. That’s all.”
“All we ever wanted was what’s best for ya, Dash,” said Applejack, peering down at the foal and tipping her hat back. “You don’t ever gotta be scared of what we think.”
“I know, I know. But when I get scared, I just freak out and my mouth says stuff on its own.”
“That’s all in the past now.” Applejack nudged the foal gently under his chin and scratched behind his ear. “Just finally glad I get to meet this little fella.”
“Everybody, I want you to meet my son,” Rainbow Dash said, holding up the foal for the room to see. A panicked expression crossed her face and she blurted out, almost immediately, “WHO I’VE DECIDED TO ADOPT!”
Applejack’s face fell completely blank like her brain was dribbling out of her ears.
“I had a gastric bypass scheduled for today and I just saw this little guy in the nursery and found out he just got dropped off here! So, y’know, I didn’t think I wanted to be a mom, but I figured this surgery was gonna be a new start, y’know? So I thought ‘what the hay’ and signed all the papers and stuff.”
“W-wow, that’s...so...selfless of you,” Twilight said, forcing a grin. Behind her, Rarity was biting her tongue to force down a fit of laughter. “It’s amazing how much he looks like you.”
“I know, right? That’s how I knew we belonged together. So now he’s my son. My adopted son.” Dash glanced up. “AJ, you alright?”
Applejack was not alright. Her lips were pursed in a tight frown, her teeth clenched behind them. She stood in the center of the room, fuming and panting like an angry bull while glaring at Rainbow Dash. At last, she furiously spiked her hat on the floor and marched out of the room. The rest of them could hear her muffled shouting and swearing all the way down the hall, ending in a loud slam as a door was kicked open.
“What’s her problem?” Dash asked as she scratched her new foal under his chin.
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On the one hand, I love how even after she gave birth, she still lied through her teeth, unless she was telling the truth, which would be a twist all on it's own.
On the other hand, it kinda is a lackluster ending, her never telling the truth, even after she gave birth, again, unless she wasn't lying.
Is it really Dashie's baby? Like was she really pregnant?
That ending, poor AJ.
Will we get to see more of total not rainbows foal?
Applejack is a mood this entire chapter.
Yeah... what 10268440 said.
Oh God, I loved every word of this story so much. You're amazing.
What the buck, Dash?
That was soo cuuuteee. I need to know it's name!
(... Well, let's at least hope she tells HER CHILD that he's not adopted.)
OMG, I’m practically crying!
I absolutely love how AJ acts this chapter! Rainbow is such a troll LOL!
I just love this story, and it’s sadly over.
One word: subtle.
Props on Mrs. Cake for being the first one to just outright call it out to Rainbow's face.
Does it work for pigs?
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
We need to change the lyrics of that one song--clearly, it's not Applejack who's the silly pony.
10268445
Whether RD likes it or not, there's going to be a paper trail for all of this now that the foal's here, no matter what. So Twilight would simply need to use some princess powers to pull a few strings (which shouldn't be too far outside the realm of her normal political powers), and volia!--the truth revealed.
Regardless, considering Soarin's reaction to all of this, I'm pretty sure it's the former.
Now we just need to get RD to admit it. I mean, I get the whole "giving her space to sort it out on her own" message and approve--but at the same time, I wanna side with AJ and just put the hoof down and end the dang charade already.
10268440
Seconded. Been waiting for her to spill the beans this entire time. I think Sweetie Bell put it succinctly:
There goes Dash, sticking to her guns until the very end.
Great story, I loved it every step of the way.
Congrats on being featured by the way!
Really, Dash? REALLY?!
Well, I have to admit, you did a great job on the exchanges, characterizations, humor and general wrap-up in all the right places in this final chapter. I LOVED all the foal gifts Rainbow's friends got and, yeah, I can understand AJ being frustrated enough to snap like that, even if the others were still trying to give Rainbow the space to confess on her own. And, yeah, the meeting with Soarin' just outside the hospital was good stuff too (especially with Applejack's "don't make me get my shotgun" line). And, yeah, even AFTER the foal was born, Rainbow still continued to lie about it. Of course, by the time of the birth, she had been lying about it for too long to stop.
Anyway, I admit the story was enjoyable, but I have mixed feelings about the ending.
I probably should have seen that ending coming, but I was really looking forward to seeing Rainbow come clean.
Still: thanks for the ride! This was a really fun story
Do you have any thoughts on What Rainbow will name her foal?
If Dash hadn't just given birth I'm pretty sure Applejack would have started hitting her.
Yeah, I'm with AJ. Probably a good thing she didn't have that shotgun on hand 'cause even I'd be tempted to make Soarin a single father at that point.
And what's she gonna tell the kid later? I'm pretty sure telling a kid they're adopted when they're not counts as some form of child abuse.
Wait a minute... while I am glad Dash delivered safely... but does this mean they had a foal out of wedlock?
Huh. Okay, I'm a little confused. If Soarin was the father this whole time, what was with this bit in the first chapter?
Why would she start saying Spitfire then change to Soarin if she's trying to cover for something with him. It's not like it could be unrelated to this whole business with him, otherwise why would she need to change her story mid-lie at all? It's obviously got something to do with the whole relationship/baby thing, so it doesn't make sense either for her to say it or as a red herring for the story, which is the best I can figure for it.
And the reveal of Soarin being the father felt... really underwhelming to me. I admit part of is that I was hoping, though definitely not expecting after the last few chapters, for there to be some big twist. Not that I was necessarily looking for Spitfire to somehow be the father (not that that wouldn't be fun, biology aside, just that it would probably warp the story with its presence as a phenomenon), but I was expecting more that just "Well, the father's the first present option, duh!"
I admit that part of this is that I'm not big on shipping the two - not that I have anything in particular against it (even if some of its shippers can get... a touch overzealous, to say the least), just that it's not one I have any real affinity for. However, I feel that my reaction isn't a case of strict causation there - that my overall mehness on the concept led to my disappointment with the story - but rather that both have the same root cause. Namely, that shipping the two in this, and in many other places, feels so incredibly... default. Like we're just expected to go "Oh, well obviously they'd be together, it's just how things are" and not ask for any real explanation, establishment or reasons behind the relationship.
Unfortunately, that's not how it works - no matter how much of a no-brainer the ship is to the shipper, they should never, ever just assume it'd be the case and plonk it down without any kind of establishment. And while Soarin and Rainbow Dash isn't the worst of those kinds of ships (looking at you, final episode), it still has far too much of that default, "well, obviously" quality for my liking. I object to the very idea, stated or otherwise, of a "default ship", as I feel it's inherently reductive in terms of the near-infinite complexity of living minds and relationships. People should absolutely ship whatever they want and not feel remotely ashamed of it. But they should absolutely never presume that their ship is the ship, in any capacity.
But, I admit, that's a very personal reaction to a very minor part of the story. At least, the first two of the last three paragraphs was, the last was just me ranting about a completely unrelated fandom phenomenon that irks me despite not having anything more than tangentially connected to the story at hand. So... sorry about that.
Anyway, the story overall was very fun and got the main thrust of the story - Rainbow's increasingly ridiculous and desperate denials - down pat. The only real thing I'd critique was that the final line where Rainbow does reveal-it-sort-of could have been a lot more impactful if we spent longer between it and the lie, maybe a few lines or descriptions to give us more time thinking she'd finally broken down and admitted it before pulling out the "that I decided to adopt". Still, overall, good story, even if it lost me at the last hurdle, if you'll forgive the mixed metaphor.
I think the ending you have is great. There were other ways you could have done it, but this one is no worse for it.
Loyal to the lie, above all things.
Loved the fic! Great sequence of progression, I could really get just how large RD was getting with every chapter. I will admit, her keeping up the fibbing post-foaling is a little much for her. There's 'her way of dealing with a first time pregancy' and then there's that.
Would read again!
Rainbow, Soarin already admitted that he knocked you up now just admit it already Celestia dammit!
BUT NOT FROM THEIR DREAMS
This was a wild ride, very entertaining
keep up the good work!!
That ending had me in tears laughing. Well done!
that ending was hilarious, i tried my best to keep my laughter mufulled since i'm reading this at 2:37 in the morning
I feel sorry for Dash. Imagine what she went through herself. If the story was from her point of view I'm sure there would be a ton of anger and frustration directed towards herself.
I was glad she sorta admitted it at the end and explained her behaviour. Only for her anxiety to kick in again. I'm sure she hates herself right now. The element of loyalty letting her anxiety get the better of her after finally coming clean (sort of) and being disloyal to her own boyfriend and newborn son.
Having said all that, I realise this is a comedy. I did laugh at Rainbows panick attack (and Rarity's reaction). It has been a joy to read. In my head though she gets help and comes clean shortly after. Helps me feel better :P
10268717
Probably the truth and nothing but the truth. Rainbow has only been lying about the foal to her friends and others not directly involved with it, and from the snippets she drops throughout the story it sounds like she's been totally transparent with Soarin and (presumably) the Wonderbolts as a whole who are aware of Dash and Soarin's relationship. Incidentally to me it feels like Dash's desperate lying stems from trying to keep the fact that she's in a relationship secret from her friends for whatever reason; the pregnancy is just an extremely obvious extension of it.
10268731
Yups. He would be called a bastard son.
Wow, that just happened. The amount of patience and understanding from RD's friends is incredible, if not aggravating. They didn't demand her to tell the truth, and just went with it. A path definitely not commonly traveled (for obvious reasons).
While its fairly obvious that Rainbow Dash's family and Soarin knew she was actually with foal, I am kinda conflicted why she had so much trouble telling her friends. It gives me the impression that she is terrified of her group of friends. Though if I was in their position, I would have bite about her bs at like at month 6 at most.
btw, if u want that release watch this vid. might help. Btw, spoilers and yada yada.
i feel AJ.
hang on there bud, DNA testing is an option
Definitely not the way I wanted it to end, so the fact that I still enjoyed it really shows how will done it was. Loved it, thanks for writing.
10269263
Which would be faked if it said she was the mother
SEQUE- Ahem. Apologies. Well written sir. Here, take my cookie covered in invisible ink. 👉 👈
I thought the ending was hilarious.
Applejack be like: "I hate this world and everyone in it."
My first proper story I read on this site that isn’t a crossover. And damn it was this a good one!
Such great humor here! I got to find more stories like this one!
I’ve heard that the Cider spawned a lot of fics of ponies getting drunk, any I can find here?
10270632
bruh why do you wanna read about ponies drunk lol
go read piercing the heavens by calm wind or something
I like to think she threw that last lie out there just to fuck with AJ
10270982
I saw a YouTube comment on it and peaked my curiosity. Thought it could make for some decent humor, if I could find one.
Almost choked laughing. The mares can only be pushed so far.
Aaaaaand then I did choke laughing at that conclusion. Darn fine story. Heartwarming, shows the miracle of life and the beauty of motherhood from start to finish, and still manages to be hilarious. Well done!
I had three working theories going into the last chapter. One: she's not actually pregnant. Two: she's being a surrogate mother. Three: Rainbow was being challenged to withhold information the whole time as a part of some Wonderbolts thing.
I ultimately didn't get an answer as to which one it could be. Now I need a sequel!
Yeah the ending just went from decent to completely stupid. I was honestly getting tired of listening to Dash's crap. A bit to OOC even for Dash. At the end I felt finally you were going to do here right, but then this... Such nonsense.
What a fun story! I really enjoyed reading this, it's a very amusing, well written story.
I faved the story but I have no clue on how I feel about this. I just don't know.
10268522
Foal's name: Denial.
10303455
I would not be surprised if one of Rainbow's friends (likely AJ) offered that up as a suggestion