Chapter 2: Pony Races
As you may or may not have noticed by now, there is more than one race of pony walking around. This chapter will give basic knowledge on all races that we can find info on.
As a general rule of thumb, you can basically continue with the mindset that ponies are just talking animals. Don’t get the wrong idea, they have their own ideas and culture. What I mean is that they have many similarities to what we would consider animals back on Earth. For example, like Earth horses, ponies have a group mentality and can startle easily. We’ll get more into pony psychology later. Just keep in mind that while you should treat them like animals, don’t treat them like thoughtless animals. Now, let’s get back to learning about ponies.
Section 1: They Are Adorable
If you haven’t noticed already that ponies as a species are heart-stoppingly cute, you should either open your eyes or stop reading this because you are blind and this book is not written in braille.
Section 2: Pony Races
There are three main categories of pony race you should be aware of. Those three are unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies. Unicorns and pegasi are exactly what they sound like. If you know any mythology at all, you will have some idea of what you’re dealing with. Earth ponies are a little more mundane, but no less interesting. While there are other races of pony, most of them tend to be subcategories for the big three.
Earth Ponies
We’ll start with the most basic race. Earth ponies will probably be fairly confusing to you, if only due to their name. Obviously, they are not from our home world. The “earth” in their name is referring to the ground or dirt. (As a side note, never call an earth pony a “dirt pony” unless you feel like getting punted across a field.) Earth ponies are the most tame of the races appearance wise and are the closest thing you will get to a horse from back home. They are ridiculously strong physically and make up most of the agricultural base of society here in Equestria, and they are damn proud of it. Many of them have a green thumb, or hoof in their case, and can grow just about anything if given time and the right equipment. This is due to them having a passive form of magic that gives them a connection with the earth around them.
Pegasi
Pegasi are exactly what you think they are. Ponies with wings. You might notice how small their wings are. If you found an Equestrian pegasus on Earth they wouldn’t be able to fly, but don’t tell them that. Wing size is a sensitive subject to pegasi. Here though, they have magic to help keep them aloft. If you decide to make friends with a pegasus, just be prepared to have your personal space violated fairly often. They don't mean anything by it, it's just how they were raised. If they get a little too close for your liking, just ask them to back off and you should be good. Most pegasi that spend lots of time on the ground tend to try and break that habit, but those that live in cloud cities (we'll get more into that later) have a harder time controlling themselves. While I personally don't like having a pegasus floating in my face, I do get a kick out of how embarrassed they get when they realize what they're doing. Pegasi, like earth ponies, have a passive form of magic. Unlike earth ponies though, a pegasus has a connection to the sky. This magic allows them to be able to physically touch clouds and even control the weather.
Unicorns
Unicorns are earth ponies with horns. Don’t say that out loud unless you feel like getting stabbed, but it’s true. If you live anywhere near the princesses, these guys will be the majority of those around you. They lack the physical strength and green thumbs of earth ponies, but have magic instead. This is absolutely my biased opinion, but unicorns are like those guys that put brass ballsacks on the hitch of their pickups. The owner thinks they’re cool, but everyone else knows they’re just overcompensating for something. Unicorns rely on their magic more than teen girls from Earth rely on pumpkin spice. They use it for everything. I can’t exactly blame them for it though, I’d hate not having hands too (picking everything up with your mouth isn’t an appealing thought). This would all be fine and dandy if they understood that magic didn’t make them special. The reason most nobles are unicorns is because they annoyed everyone else out of the competition. They think they’re better than the other races (hence why “dirt pony” is a derogatory term). In gamer terms, these guys think they are the PC master race, when in reality they are just six year old squeakers screaming profanities through their Xbox mic on CoD. Unicorn supremacy aside, let’s move on to mine and Jay’s favorite race.
Thestrals
These guys are walking badasses. They look like someone crossbred a pegasus with a bat (or dragon). The vampires of this world were inspired by the appearance of thestrals. It is due to this inspiration that many non-thestrals run at the sight of one. There aren’t many of them and they tend to be a bit reclusive, so they’re rare to find outside the capital. While most ponies are technically omnivorous, they wouldn’t eat meat if their lives depended on it. Thestrals, on the other hand, eat meat on a regular basis. If you asked one to catch you something while they were out hunting, they’d probably do it. I recommend eating with these guys whenever you possibly can. It’s nice to be able to eat a ham and cheese sandwich and not have the rest of the room run away in a panic. They are the only predator species of pony that are known. Due to their predator status, they make the best fighters Equestria has to offer. Most of the elite guard is made up of thestrals, but some of them are disguised as other races so as to not scare others and so the nobles think they actually have a fighting chance in hell. Don’t let any of this discourage you though. Even with the stigma around them, thestrals have had the best track record of any pony race I’ve met when it comes to kindness and reliability, and their loyalty is nigh unwavering. In this world, thestrals are truly a man’s best friend. If you want to make friends, get a least a few of these guys in your posse. Luna might be willing to lend you some of her night guards if you ask nicely.
Sea Ponies
We actually don’t know much about these guys other than that they exist. Jay wanted it stated that one of his friend’s uncle’s great great granddad’s fourth cousin saw one once, so there’s your proof. Oh yeah, they live in the sea (if that wasn’t already obvious).
Crystal Ponies
If you come across one of these guys, be respectful. It doesn't matter if I'm dead or alive, if I find out you're messing with a crystal pony, I'll send Jay your way. And noone wants that. (If you're curious about why you don't want this, ask Luna about the Cheese Wheel Incident. She probably won't explain anything, but the thousand yard stare she gives you should be all the evidence you need.)
Crystal ponies are ponies with a unique trait that makes them look like they are made of pure crystal. These guys have had it rough. They mostly stick around the Crystal Empire to the distant north of Equestria. They are a much older race than many realize and their history goes a little something like this. They once ran a prosperous kingdom to the north, and were great allies with Equestria. One day a powerful unicorn wielding extremely dark magic killed the current ruler and usurped the throne. This douche-nozzle's name was Sombra, and he was sort of like the pony equivalent of Hitler. (Actually, Stalin might be a better comparison.) He forced the entire kingdom, and therefore the entire crystal pony race, into slavery and forced them to work in his crystal mines. Celestia and Luna fought the bastard, but in a last ditch effort to save himself Sombra banished the Crystal Empire, everyone in it included, to the shadow realm. (That's not actually what it's called, but I like to think of it that way.) It reappeared a millennia later and the Elements of Harmony (more on these later), along with Princess Cadance and some others, managed to retake the Empire and destroy Sombra. The crystal ponies are free again and Cadance rules over the Empire now.
Alicorns
Alicorns are the linchpins of Equestrian society. They are cultural icons, and without them it seems quite possible that Equestrian society could fall apart at the seams. To outsiders, that may seem like a blatant weakness for any enemy to exploit. Don't be fooled though. Alicorns are essentially demigods. They live for so long that there is no record of an alicorn dying of natural causes. In fact, there is no recorded case of an alicorn dying period. There are currently only three of them in existence, and they are all rulers. There apparently used to be more of them, but Celestia and Luna don't talk about what happened to them and Cadance is too young to know. Alicorns are what happen when you combine the big three and jack them full of steroids. They have earth pony strength, pegasus wings, and unicorn horns. Each one has a strong connection to a very specialized form of magic that tends to be unique to them. Celestia has a unique connection to the sun. Luna has a unique connection to the Moon. Cadance has a strong connection to love of all things. While they may be terrifyingly powerful, don't be scared of them. They are known for their kindness and benevolence (thank god for that).
That should wrap up what Jay and I currently know about the different pony races. There may be more, but we just don't know what they are at this time.
I am so in love with this so far, eagerly waiting for more
So is the Crystal Pony bit mostly tied to Sombra or is there another reason he is fond of them?
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He doesn't have a particular liking for crystal ponies. He's just pointing out that they've been through some shit, and they don't need someone adding to what they've already been through.
So later do we find a update chapter on Twilight and Flurry Heart? Like be aware Twilight is a genius and terribly curious and will experiment on you if your not careful and Flurry is a adorable bringer of doom?
Also I expect Pinkie if not all of Ponyville to get a section as it is the hub of crazy in Equestia and it's locals aren't "normal" ponies?
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This is meant to be a "book" style thing. It's meant to be read like this is already a finished product. In reality, I will probably update chapters and the info in them as I see the need, but "in universe" there are no edits to be made.
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You could always do a sequel in the style of a supplemental volume. Though yea the Elements ought to get their own sections, being national heros and examples of "freakishly over powered" in some cases.
braille
Cadance
seams
Cadance
Unicorns are the most likely to go evil and have a tendency towards going power mad when they get too full of themselves, when this happens a unicorn will have a larger tendency towards using mind control or just brute forcing things to get their way. (See Starlight Glimmer, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Trixie Lulamoon and Sombra.)
Pegasi are more clever about being evil. (IE Wind Rider framing someone for a crime, Fluttershy stealing a bite of cake without paying for it and Cozy Glow... just Cozy Glow.)
As such earth ponies are much safer when it comes to evil tendencies, for they will always let you know when they are angry and are more open about their emotions. Be wary if an earth pony calls a feud with you though, they will fight you until the end of time.
Changelings are technically a pony race, they come in two flavors, regular pokemon and colorful shiny.
If you don't think Twilight Sparkle has tried mind control, you need to be reminded of the 'want-it need-it' incident, there's also the 'reformation spell' she was going to use on Discord which is basically mind control to stop him from being himself. Need everyone be reminded that if Twilight had succeeded in using said spell, she would have essentially killed Discord as being anything close to approaching normal will make him cease to exist completely.
You should mention pegasi' s weather control abilities, also I kinda disagree on the "They almost all have a green thumb" for earth ponies, even as a generalization there are too many exceptions for it to be true (Filthy Rich, Cheerille, nurse Redhearth, Bon Bon, all the Pie family, etc). A better generalization would be that all Earth ponies have some kind of connection with the earth and making things grow, (be it apples, businesses or students). There are still exceptions but it is closer to the truth.
I want the beasties and plants in the everfree to be covered
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Lots of good points here. I thought of adding changelings to the list, but I consider them to be a separate species, rather than a subrace of ponies. I plan to do a chapter on the other species on Equus later and was going to add changelings there.
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Good point here too. I should definitely have mentioned weather control, especially since I mentioned the green thumbs. I'll probably change that sometime today.
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Fixed! Thanks for pointing these out.
Hilarious so far. Keep it coming.
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Another thing to keep in mind for earth ponies: Pinkie's family grow rocks on their rock farm--lithorally! After all, where do folks think all those crystals that dragons eat come from? And hills and mountains?
You know... maybe folk are better off NOT asking about any of that--it's Pinkie and her family, after all.
Except Holder's Bolder--that is NOT a rock! That is a dragon's egg... and somewhere in the world is the momma dragon that laid it and she's STILL! LOOKING! FOR! HER! CHILD!! And one of these days, momma's gonna find it....
Make a chapter with the elements of harmony with just a page dedicated to pinkie pie and her antics
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Definitely do this
Fun concept. I look forward to seeing what else you do with it. (And I can only imagine the equivalent of Mr. Welch's List.)
Laughing so hard at this!
But one minor thing...
The word is spelled “posse”.
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10117016
Thanks for pointing that out. I'll fix it right now.
10117016 Yeah, that's a word you don't want to misspell.
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I was gonna edit the last post once you fixed the mistake, but thanks to Georg, well... it’s like he said: it’s a word you don’t wanna misspell.
Because one can even mishear it too, hehe
I am self-obligated to be offended on behalf of nice unicorns, so, uh, I'm offended.
Smug nobles can stick it up where Celestia can't see, though.
Nice! Was the term Thestral ever used for the show, or where did you got that?
I expected a chapter about the running of the leaves, and other races like that.