'Displaced: Term used to describe those who are moved to another reality. Often they are changed in some way.' I'm displaced now, a familiar blue vixen to be exact, in a world that's kind of familiar. Edited by myself. See main descript for Warnings!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Great work keep it up
And guess what the Timber wolves do in response? They at first blink slowly and in confusion nose the bag, then one of the younger pups in their number takes the bag and shakes it wildly then the entire pack strolls off with the bag in tow.
And when those two idiots finally come out of the the damned bag, everyone is going to be confused, Krystal and Luna because they thought that they've escaped the timber wolves, the timber wolves because they see two creatures pop out of a bag that's several times smaller than themselves and the readers who are wondering what the hell the characters were expecting and whether or not either of the two have owned a dog before this horseshit apocalypse or what ever.
So far, I haven't seen any need to blast Luna with the Rainbow Canon - as if there was no lingering affect of Nightmare Moon to begin with. Does this mean there is no need for the Element Bearers too?
Loved the chapter and liked the back story for Luna and Celestia, happy you're back bud
10257989
Thanks.
I could with editing if you need
10262319
Careful there, that link is a violation to the site's rules.
Hey people, it's gonna be a bit before the next update.
A little rough around the edges, but with experience that can be improved upon . I suggest that you read your story and try to compare its style to the stories you have read . I am not saying to rewrite to make it like others, but to help smooth the edges .
And lastly, you made it a big crossover . I do warn that to much can kill a story , when writers began to lose control of their stories . And you have to at least attempt to follow the MLP storyline, at least on some level if only in the background as it can give the sense of time .
any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?
10314037
Workin' through a bit of writers block.
ok so an interesting starting for the first few chapters and they haven't even left the everfree looking forward to the next chapter
I hope to see more of the story and when will the next chapter come
10341047
Working up to it.
10341442
Critique:
I Know the story is AU but I've noticed that there's something that you either haven't thought about..., or just segued over... and that is Luna's speech... I understand it can be hard to use Olde English correctly..., but it should've still been something that you should've had... even if you only rewrite her lines and do a time skip in which she was taught modern dialogue..., it's STILL better than just skipping over it ENTIRELY...
AND NOW FOR YOUR WORDS OF INSPIRATION!!!:
Even though I myself, ALSO wish for it to come sooner rather than later..., Don't let the comments section decide your upload schedule... if people are wanting it sooner rather than later, then that shows you are doing a good job... just keep going at your own pace and you will find it'll turn out better than you could've imagined...
My assessment of this story so far.
It has many grammatical and spelling errors, and few very, very minor continuity errors, but aside from that I do not see any errors with the design choices and narrative itself. Interesting? Yes. Concerning? That depends on how the story plays out, there's nothing solid yet.
Nonetheless, I find this story to be great not solely because of it's narrative style, but because of the sheer potential the writer is showing both in story and otherwise.
Keep up the good work.
Man i've finally had the time to read the other chapters and man.. i'm loving the story thus far and its VERY creative! English isn't my first language so i am not the right person to fix typo's and incorrect use of grammar but i had a lot of fun reading and i REALLY hope to see more of this story soon
10257915
to be fair, this AU is significantly different from the canon. the elements of harmony may not even exist in this world. while that does beg the question of how Celestia banished luna to the moon, I'm sure it can be explained away.
10355059
I thought it was a post-apocalypse scenario, with Equestria having made contact with the Chozo and Hyrule, and possible one of legendaries capable of inter-dimensional travel via continued experimentation with the mirror portal after season 9 or more accurately Ending of the End had happened.
Basically the apocalypse happens because twilight is an idiot and only appears to be smart because she is so well read. And has no fucking clue how to handle real threats, like actual killers for instance.
10341442
If this is mainly about Krystal, how come there's no Star Fox tag?? Unless one has not been made yet, than...
10381750
The influence of Star Fox is less than Metroid, Zelda, and Pokemon.
10389818
Are you not listening to what you say, you just said they were displaced by definition?
dis·place
/disˈplās/
verb
verb: displace; 3rd person present: displaces; past tense: displaced; past participle: displaced; gerund or present participle: displacing
take over the place, position, or role of (someone or something).
"in the northern states of India, Hindi has largely displaced English"
"he seems to have displaced some vertebrae"
"thousands of people have been displaced by the civil war"
The displaced were literally people forced to move from their proper place or home to another world.
They have been displaced.
Them not being canon to the world has nothing to do with it because they didn't displace the mlp world, they are the thing that were displaced.
I think you said it best.
Take your own advice.
When will the next chapter come
10392413
I've got to work up the interest/motivation to write.
Are you going to finish this story
10421683
Eventually.
i hope this comes back
i hope this comes back soon i love it
Its been a while I hope this starts back up soon cause they haven't even gotten to meet celestia and the others yet which I'm thinking sense she is a some what alpha breeder there is a major down turn in male populist and or non existent and it's a all female planet which mean serious sexy times to come if crystals first sex romp was like that then I can see so so so much more to come
Will Celestia,chrysalis,Cadence well they be krystal heard
any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?
I do hope yer doing well, I also eagerly await the next chapter, that said, I WILL wait till it's ready. If you push it, then it will be nowhere near your great writing, so while I hope for it soon, I'd rather wait another few months to a year than have something rushed out that doesn't read well cause you didn't feel it.
I love this and I hope that it will continue soon.
so when will the next chapter come out?
10628383
A very kinky one.
Any word on an update?
10679342
Need 2 get a new keyl3oard, mine l3roke.
10681660
hopefully u find a good keyboard this story need a strong backing for how good it is so far and with the question on what is happening to celly and how luna and Krystal will spend there time with each other and what other girls they will pick up along the way i mean hell i already got maybe 23 both pony and pokemon of each there is a lot that need answering
10695342
Your right, that's least the very least a person that tall could weigh and be a healthy weight. We're talking a person with a stick figure. I'll correct that.
10681660
how's the the progress going since then...???
Any progress since last time? I would love to see more of this story
10695993
hey do you like songs?
10756105
Yeah, but I'm not going to put any links or inserts into the story.
Hey Zoura not to rush you or anything but, how is that next chapter coming along
Where is the story
hope to see a new chapter for this soon it's a good beginning and the thing about something bad happening makes me eager to find out more
I'm really losing hope for this story.. the lack of responses and no updates to speak of.. i think this story has been abandoned and its such a huge shame because i was really invested into the story and loved the creative ideas that for once matched my own imagination which is super rare for me to find.. makes me really sad
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
10851074
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH